:3

going on twt after a relapse and seeing that mine aint shit compared to literally everyone elses is so humbling… i always feel like a poser after being on twt 😭

it was my bday like probably three days ago now. it was nice i guess but ive never really cared much for my bday. i hate celebrating it, having attention like that on me for no reason js makes me upset. theres no reason for me to be happy over getting older or living for another year. i dont see a point in celebrating something i dont even care for. when im older (if i get older) im gonna stop celebrating it all together. my mom is adamant on me being a “normal” teenager and having a “normal” social life, so unfortunately i cant stop celebrating my bday until i get out of this house.

i love pinkie pie sm !! shes so cutie ^.^

i deadass have to lock in this summer.. if i dont lose at least 20 lbs everyone is dying 😡

i have so many finals this week im actually gonna die

i lowk broke my hand but i dont have health insurance… wtf do i do

i love reading sm. i actually cannot wait for school to be over so i can read for longer and not feel guilty for not studying or doing hw instead :(

i feel like that hate on the remake of teens of denial is so dumb. genuinely who fucking cares if will doesnt wanna curse anymore bc of his religion or if he wants to album to be available in public libraries? its his music he should be able to do wtv he wants with it. its never that serious, and if you dont like the new version then js dont listen to it. imo i think some of the remade songs are kinda good, some people are js so overdramatic.

i love car seat headrest so much. every time i hear one of their songs play in my headphones i wanna throw up bc of how excited i get. theyre actually taking over my life..

i wanna be in a relationship so badly but i also hate everyone and i dont like that lovey dovey bs. i hate texting, calling, and pet names. also, i never leave my house and forget to text people back for days. i would feel horrible for the person dating me. i think what i really want is js someone who understands me that i have a connection with that i can sometimes kiss.. ykwim?

i want to go home. i hate this school and this dumb fucking town. i cant wait to get out of here forever.

im actually going insane. my mom keeps asking if im okay but instead of getting me help she just ignores it. i dont know whats wrong with me, why do i feel like this??

i dont believe im real. i look in the mirror and js think like wtaf why do i look and act like that.