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I want to say something about this experience.

I’ve been in a pretty abusive relationship for the last 4 years or so, I’ve been struggling with self-harm and anxiety for as long as I can remember. If it weren’t for getting out of that relationship, I would have never gone to EDC. Ever since I bought my ticket, Above and Beyond was all I’d wanted to see. I could miss my whole weekend, but not Above and Beyond. 

I got picked to be in the movie for a lot of these reasons. There’s more to my story but I’m going to keep it short. The film crew knew Above and Beyond were my favorite group playing and I wasn’t going to miss them for the world. By the 3rd night of EDC, I couldn’t breathe and felt a tightness in my chest the whole night that only got worse, not to mention my voice was completely gone. (Turns out I was having an asthma attack) and spent nearly the whole night in the medical center. But not during Above and Beyond.

I was in the front of the crowd for their set, and I cried the whole time. My friends behind me, blowing bubbles at me and to the camera, feeling everyone’s love and the music just speaking to me. These lyrics were here for me when no one was. This music had been my best friend…

And then before I knew it, it happened.

I was lifted from the crowd by a bodyguard. He brought me to the side of the stage and I was asked by the film crew if I knew why I was there. I instantly started crying. (well, crying HARDER than I already was) Then I looked up the stairs and saw a man, holding out his arms, saying, “Well, c’mon, girl!” It was so surreal, walking backstage, all in slow motion. He told me, “Above and Beyond have chosen you to push the button!!” I just cried and cried, I couldn’t think straight and had no voice to reply to him with….

When I got up on that stage, Paavo kissed me on the cheek, and Jono said to me, “Alright. Here it is. Push it whenever you’re ready.”

There it was. That little, simple, ‘Play’ Button. I looked up at the crowd for what felt like an eternity. I saw my friends cheering, along with the other 80,000 people. I couldn’t help but feel so humbled. I felt a feeling I’ve never felt before. Even now, my eyes water when I think of it. I lifted both my arms in the air and everyone cheered…

And then… I pressed the button.

The crowd went wild as ‘Sun and Moon’ dropped for them. I felt the music surge through me, along with the crowds cheers. I pumped my hands to the music with all my strength. Paavo and Jono put their arms around me and hugged me tight, then put their arms over my shoulders and started to jump with the music as I joined them. I’d never felt… I’ve never felt that, maybe… Maybe life does get better, and through everything bad you’re given, you will get what you deserve. One day.

And when their set was over, the words were printed on the screen…

"Life is made of small moments like these"

Through everything bad I’ve been given in life, ever since this experience… I really believe things get better. I believe that for everything bad you are given, life will return to you a beautiful experience. You can’t give up, you can’t not try. I got to go on stage at the best Electric Daisy Carnival yet, and drop a song for my favorite Dj’s for a crowd of 80,000. And yet, a few months before that, I was experiencing things that no one should have to experience… Now, I know that life has so many wonderful things to give. So much beauty lies everywhere. I think that anything I want to achieve will be mine.

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