i wish i could disappear. i feel like i missed the deadline for killing myself because people have put so much time and resources into me now that id be an even worse person for throwing that all away but what if its all for nothing anyways? and im a waste no matter what and staying for longer just fucks people over more? i wish i could kill myself without hurting anyone. i dont know if id hurt anyone, maybe id just be gone and no one would feel anything and theyd move on. i hurt so much all the time over everyone and everything, but i cant imagine anyone ever hurting over me. i think love is the joy i bring to peoples lives, but love for me is also the way i agonize over the things i love. i can’t imagine anyone ever loving me in the way i love too. i dont think anyone could hurt over me. i dont think im a good enough person for that, thats why i love everyone else so hard. they’re better than me, i will never live up to that.













