QZ Writes

As they walked out of the city gates, Aelrak muttered, "I feel like a thug." He shifted his grip on the stick. It wasn't quite thick enough to be a club, but it was a solid enough stave.

"I'm a gentleman now," Veredi said, the first time he'd as much as admitted to Aelrak he hadn't always been one. "That means you are an adventurer. Or a bodyguard, if you like."

"A toady," Aelrak retorted. "A flunky."

"That's still a step above thug," Veredi said, laughing. "Let's go to the eastern crossroads, I've heard around town there's always bandits lurking there, causing trouble for the farmers."

Indeed, after mere seconds of being within earshot of the eastern crossroads, they heard a woman or young boy yelping, "Let go of me!" Veredi and Aelrak hurried in that direction as quietly as they could.

"C'mon, kid," growled a scruffy bandit, grabbing at a pre-adolescent human youth of indeterminate gender. "You don't need all that."

The scruffy bandit was a stout male human, unfortunately, not a pretty elven girl or a busty catkin, but he was clumsy enough that Veredi was confident they could take him. He might not get Veredi into the Mages' Guild, but he'd make enough money to take a step in that direction.

Veredi stopped Aelrak to whisper in his ear. "You go around behind him," he said, "I'll approach him near the kid. Aim for his knees while I've got him distracted." Aelrak nodded, then started circling around.

Veredi made some noise as he approached, although he waited until the kid spotted him and yelled for help to call out, "What are you doing to that child?"

The bandit swore, then pulled a dagger out of his belt. "You stay outta this!" he shouted.

The dagger was in better shape than Aelrak's knife had been, but Veredi took some pleasure in drawing his own short sword. Stolen from someone who'd stolen it from a city guard-turned-mercenary, it was a nice blade. "Or what?" Veredi asked him quietly.

The kid took the opportunity to dash past Veredi, and scrambled up a tree by the side of the road. Veredi hoped they wouldn't fall and hurt themself, but that would probably still be preferable to being mugged, stabbed, or raped.

The bandit was too distracted by Veredi's sword and his prey escaping to notice Aelrak coming up behind him. Veredi stepped forward to brandish his sword, to keep the bandit's eyes on him.

The bandit evidently took Veredi's feint for all the sword-fighting skills he had, and sneered. He took a half-step forward, and Aelrak walloped him in the calf.

Prepared for this, Veredi swiped at the bandit's hand as his legs buckled, making him drop the knife. Aelrak leapt back as the bandit tried to spin around, then managed to bash him on the outside of the other knee. Then bandit collapsed to the ground, then lurched to one side. Perhaps he thought he was lunging for his knife, but he had lost track of it when he dropped it and lurched in the wrong direction. Veredi stabbed his sword into the bandit's hand.

The fight effectively over, Veredi jerked his head at the bandit's dagger. "Grab that," he said to Aelrak, who did.

They used rags and rope to gag the bandit and bind his bleeding hand, then shackled his wrists behind his back. Veredi took the bandit's belt and dagger sheath off him, then handed them to Aelrak. "Here, it's better than your busted shit," he said.

"Oh, thank you, my lord," Aelrak said, making a sarcastic show of gratitude, bowing over the dagger. "I'll treasure it always."

"Shut up," Veredi said without any heat, smiling as he turned to the tree the kid had clambered into. "Hey, kid!" he called out. "You all right?"

The kid appeared from the upper branches of the tree, dropping down into a lower and more visible fork of the trunk. "Yes, sir! Thank you, sir!"

The kid claimed to be a boy of thirteen, on his way from one farm to another with extra food after a relative took ill. "It's not even a mile," he said with big, wide eyes. "I never thought I'd have to worry about being attacked."

"I'm glad we could help," Veredi said. "Do you want us to escort you the rest of the way?"

The boy looked over Veredi's shoulder, at Aelrak leading the shackled and gagged bandit over. "Uh, sure," he said. "Better safe than sorry, Mum says."

The boy was named Largo, and his destination was less than half a mile away. Largo had many questions about Veredi and Aelrak being dark elves. Were they brothers? Were they married? Where were they from? Why had they left the town walls? Were they going to enslave the bandit? Was the bandit going to wind up chained to a bed in the brothel? The bandit had totally grabbed Largo's dick in the scuffle, that meant he was a pervert so he'd deserve it anyway.

Largo's relation--a cousin of his father, but she called herself Largo's aunt rather than be more specific--was grateful to see her nephew safely delivered to her, and spat at the bandit when she saw him. She wasn't ill, but her wife was, and so were the two hands who usually helped with the animals. The basket of food Largo carried was sorely needed.

"I don't have anything on hand that would be worthy of someone like yourself," she said. "But my wife expects a bountiful harvest of sorghum this year. Perhaps your lordship would accept a portion sent when it's ready?"

"Yes, please!" Aelrak called out. Veredi looked over his shoulder at him, standing back near the road with the prisoner. Unruffled, Aelrak said, "If your lordship pleases."

Veredi turned back to the half-elven aunt of the rescued Largo, smiling. "That would be very welcome," he told her. "I'm at Hazelfield Manor, which I think any mail carrier would be able to find."

She nodded. "Hazelfield Manor," she repeated. "I'll make sure you get some, lordship. Thank you ever so much."

Largo did not need an escort home, slated to stay with his aunt until the rest of the farm was more recovered. With a reiterated promise from the aunt of reward to come with the harvest, Veredi and Aelrak turned back to the road, the captured bandit trailing a few steps behind them on a rope.

They passed other travelers on the road--locals moving in pairs and trios, who made wide passes of them when possible, wary of strangers, dark elves, or both. One pair was catkin, a pretty young girl with orange fur and an older woman with gray-brown, and Veredi considered the possibility of interrupting them, but decided one prisoner and one companion was enough to deal with. No matter how pretty the young orange catgirl was.

On the last deserted stretch of road into Bellsbridge, Veredi asked Aelrak, "Do you fuck men at all, then?"

"Some," Aelrak said. He glanced just enough at Veredi to indicate the man trailing them on a rope. "I'm happy to help break 'em in. As long as you make sure it ain't going to be uncomfortable."

Veredi laughed. "Picky," he said. After a moment, he added, "I wonder if Fara would want a go."

"What?" Aelrak all but squawked. "You think that quiet little thing would want to?"

"I don't know," Veredi pointed out. "That's why I was wondering. I mean, I didn't ask about her sexual history or preferences. But a slave girl's got to have few enough opportunities to fuck without being fucked, right? I may as well ask her."

"You're gonna get kicked outta the Mages' Guild as a radical," Aelrak said. He yanked on the rope. "Keep up, asshole."

Veredi glanced back at the prisoner. He was wide-eyed and perhaps a little flushed. Had he not thought about the probable result of being captured until now?

The prisoner was a stout man who looked human apart from slightly-pointed ears. He might have been part gnome, dwarf, or elf. Not as much as half of any of them, Veredi didn't think, unless he wasn't actually mostly human. The prisoner had several days' worth of beard growth on the lower half of his face, as well as several days' worth of grime. His clothes had been decent traveling leathers once, but they were very worn and smelled as if they might be starting to rot; the clothes beneath them almost certainly were. His hair was down to his ears and shaggy with it, as if he wore it short but had been forced to forgo haircuts. His skin was the kind of medium brown that nearly everyone but dark elves and orcs might be, while his hair seemed to be a darker, redder brown.

Once at the manor, Veredi dismissed Aelrak to do his other chores. Aelrak, of course, had a whole list of things he wanted to get done on top of his usual tasks. Veredi wondered if he was always eager to please or if he liked having a project. He'd lucked out when Aelrak tried to mug him, he reflected. It was something of a shame that he didn't want to fuck Veredi; he was attractive and convenient. But Veredi told himself he shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth when it was already letting itself be led.

He took the rope and led the prisoner down the stairs to the dungeon. The man went willingly enough, although he did pause at the foot of the stairs when he saw the torture equipment.

Veredi nudged him forward. "Come on, fella. I'm not stringing you up just yet."

He steered the prisoner into one of the intact cells they'd put a mattress in, then removed the rope lead. The prisoner let himself be steered and turned as Veredi needed, with no resistance or tension at all. Veredi tossed the rope through the bars of the cell back towards the stairs. That way it wouldn't be in the cell to be used against him, even though at this point he doubted this prisoner would attempt something like that. As Largo's mother said: better safe than sorry.

Veredi turned the prisoner around to face him again. "You know how this works," he said. "From now on, I own you." He smiled, then went on, "In fact, from the time my servant and I put those shackles on you, I owned you." He cupped the man's cheek, because he could. Underneath the grime and under-nourishment, this prisoner was a rather handsome man. To his credit, he didn't pull back or flinch away. Veredi murmured, "You and I both know you weren't doing so well, hmm? Going after a child like that. You must have been quite desperate." He lowered his hand and took a step back. "Honestly, a private cell and guaranteed meals looks like it's a step up for you."

The former bandit slowly turned red. He didn't nod, but he also didn't shake his head.

Veredi smiled at him again, more warmly this time. "Since you're so underfed, I think we'll skip the part where you start at one meal a day and earn more with good behavior," he decided. "I'm going to take the gag off now, but if you try to bite me or threaten me in any way, it's going back on until meal-time, understand?" The man nodded. Veredi turned him around and untied the gag partway, lowering it around his neck. "How's that?" he asked over the man's shoulder.

The man cleared his throat, then said, "Better. Sir."

"Good boy," Veredi purred. The man visibly shivered. Veredi had intended to leave it there, but the man's reaction made him want to push. Veredi asked quietly, "What's your name?"

"Odger, sir," the prisoner said, almost whispering.

"Odger," Veredi murmured. "Did you hear what we were talking about earlier?" Odger nodded. "So what's the plan?" he murmured.

After a moment, Odger said, "You're going to rape me."

"Mm," Veredi hummed. "But are we?" He ran his finger down Odger's neck, making him shiver again. "It's not rape if you want it, Odger. And it seems to me as if you might want it."

"I--" Odger cleared his throat. Veredi heard his throat work as he swallowed. Odger said, "You're very pretty. Sir."

"So true," Veredi said. "So then, Odger, what are we going to do with you?"

"Uh," Odger said. "Fuck me?"

Veredi leaned in against Odger's back to put his mouth right up to Odger's ear. "That's right," he murmured. "And you're going to like it, aren't you?"

Odger let out a shaky breath. "Yes, sir," he said. "I mean, I think so."

The honesty was cute, as was the uncertainty. Veredi didn't think it would be too difficult to ensure Odger had a nice enough time to like the experience as a whole. "So you're going to be a good boy for me, aren't you?" Veredi asked. "When I take these shackles off, you'll stay right here, so you get fed and fucked, won't you?"

"Yes, sir," Odger said, his voice going a little hoarse.

Veredi untied the gag the rest of the way, stuffing it into his pocket, then took a step away from Odger's back in order to unlock the shackles. "Sit on the bed until I've locked you in," Veredi said as he pulled off the cuffs. Odger immediately went to the bed and sat down on it. His face was definitely flushed, and Veredi could see the outline of his cock through his trousers. "Good boy," Veredi said, and Odger looked down at the floor of the cell.

Odger stayed sitting on the bed, practically vibrating with tension, until Veredi was on the other side of the cell door and locked it behind him. He took a step back from the bars, just in case, then said, "Very good, Odger. Such a good boy for me."

"Thank you, sir," Odger said, still looking at the floor. The impression of his cock through his trousers was even more distinct now. It was probably quite distracting.

"I'll come back down to take care of your hand and bring you some food," Veredi said.

"Thank you, sir," Odger repeated.

When Veredi got to the kitchen and saw Aelrak was alone in there, he announced, "Well, I've got bad news if you were really looking forward to raping our prisoner." Aelrak looked up at him. "He's into it," Veredi said. "Seems to be looking forward to it."

"Hm," Aelrak said. "Odd."

Veredi shrugged. "Maybe he's really into men," he suggested. "Or elves."

"Or not making decisions," Aelrak said. He looked back down at his paperwork. "I've heard some people find that a draw."

"Yeah, but you'd think he'd've just come to town and signed himself over to the guild if that's all it is," Veredi said, shaking his head. He leaned on the table in a way that he strongly suspected would have pissed off the cooks he'd known. "Anyway, it did make me think about something," Veredi said. He hadn't given it much thought at the time, but he and Aelrak had been speaking Ujreno with each other, and Ujreno as a language lacked some of the distinctions that Veredi was used to. Saying you were going to rape someone was clear enough, and the difference between that and fucking them was likewise plain, but fucking still encompassed an awful lot of activities. Veredi asked Aelrak, "Would fucking me be a more appealing prospect if I said you could be the one putting it in?"

Aelrak looked up from his papers again, his pale eyes wide. "Uh," he said. "Yeah, a bit."

Veredi sighed and shook his head. "I knew I should have clarified," he said. "We never would have had such a miscommunication in Lyssi."

"It's a good thing you didn't try, because I don't know any Lyssi," Aelrak said. He considered for a few moments, then asked carefully, "Do you mean to say you'd be willing to have any sort of sex I wanted with me?"

"I mean, not anything," Veredi said. "There's some shit I'm not into. But I'm not some Inysa-Vehona traditionalist who would never deign to suck a cock just because it's attached to my servant." In Lyssi, it would have been clear just from Aelrak's word choice which of them he expected to be the one penetrated. The Irstafflysians had cared a great deal about who did what to whom during sex, ascribing meaning to it that Veredi had always thought was rather limiting. It wasn't a universal attitude among modern elves, but conservatives in cities like Inysa-Vehona still held onto some of those perceptions, aided by the way Lyssi marked it out.

For the first time, Aelrak looked at Veredi as if he was picturing him naked. Veredi was delighted to find it felt even better when he had to wait for someone to realize he was attractive than when they saw it right away. It felt less about his face and more about him. That Aelrak could know Veredi was a sick bastard, and a pervert, and a fraud, yet still find him attractive was rather nice. "I'll keep that in mind," Aelrak said, his voice dark enough with desire to send a shiver down Veredi's spine.

"Anyway," Veredi said, pushing off the table to stand properly on his feet again, "we've got to feed him, clean his hand, and then for the love of fuck bathe him. And I'll need your help for the last one."

"Should we bother cleaning his hand if we're about to bathe him?" Aelrak asked. He stacked his papers before setting them aside. "Clean bandages'll just get wet."

"Oh, good point, I guess that can wait," Veredi said. "I'll take him some food if you'll fill the bath?"

"And get towels and bandages," Aelrak said as he stood up. "I'll come get you to bring him up when it's ready."

Odger ate the somewhat meager leftovers from the household's breakfast with evident appreciation, going slowly enough to not make himself sick. Veredi wondered if he'd been hungry that long, or experienced the shrunken stomach side effect before. When Odger was finished eating, he looked at Veredi expectantly.

"Easy, boy," Veredi said, "you're getting a bath first."

Odger flushed and looked down at the floor again. "Yes, sir."

Aelrak came down after a few minutes, at which point Veredi unlocked the cell so they could escort Odger to the bathroom.

Odger was startled when he saw the bathroom.

"Yes, aren't you lucky," Veredi said, nudging him further into the room. "You ought to get a cold sponge bath in your cell, but here you are, getting a thorough scrubbing from two handsome dark elves. Some people would pay a lot of money for this sort of experience."

"Would they, now?" Aelrak muttered. "Strip," he said at full volume to Odger, who began to do so.

Veredi hummed. "Well, people with particular tastes," he allowed. He looked over Odger's shoulder at Aelrak, smirking. "I won't tell you to be gentle with Odger, here. He can take it."

"More like he wants to take it," Aelrak said. Odger teetered a bit, as he stood on one foot to pull off his boot.

Veredi untied the ribbon holding his shirt closed before unbuttoning his sleeves. "We ought to undress as well," he said to Aelrak as he did so.

Aelrak nodded. He said, "When he's done."

The parts of Odger's body that had been covered by his clothes were less visibly filthy, but the rings around his collar and wrists were dreadful, and a fresh wave of stink came from the clothes as he pulled them off. He started to hang them up on the hooks along the wall, before Aelrak said, "Oh, don't bother. Those are all destined for the rag bin at this point."

"Yes, sir," Odger said. He let his clothes crumple onto the floor in a heap, then kicked his boots and stockings over to join it.

"Stand up straight," Aelrak ordered. He was already kicking off his shoes and unfastening his trousers. "Let Lord Veredi get a good look at you."

Odger was shorter than either of them, though not by a great deal. He came up to Veredi's chin, and to about Aelrak's eyes. He was thick, barrel-chested and without a distinct waist. He turned to face Veredi, standing tall and straight, his face flushed. His chest was also flushed, underneath the hair coating it. His belly was hairy as well, as were his meaty thighs. His cock was likewise thick, not entirely soft at this point, and looked as if it would be a generous size when fully erect. His pubes were an out-of-control bush, which Veredi found unsightly and inconvenient, but that was simple to fix.

"And around," Veredi said, twirling his finger. "Let me see all of you."

Odger's back and ass were nothing to write home about, although Veredi thought he probably had a nicely muscular back when he wasn't half-starved. He was built for labor, if not for fighting. His ass was a little hairy, and he had a few zits on his lower back. He really had been wearing those dirty clothes for too long.

When Aelrak was naked, his own clothes hanging from the hooks on the wall with his shoes neatly lined up beneath them, he said, "Odger, was it? Gimme your hand." Odger extended his undamaged hand. Aelrak rolled his eyes. "Your other hand."

Veredi finished undressing as Aelrak unwound the bandage on Odger's hand, then had him dip it in a basin of water to loosen the bit that had been glued to his skin with blood. Odger hissed when the bandage stuck, but did not otherwise protest or resist. Veredi gathered his hair up into a bun on the top of his head, then used the ribbon from his shirt collar to tie it in place. He was sure it looked silly, since he'd done it without a reflection, but he didn't want to get the ends of his hair all wet.

Aelrak glanced over at him. "Oh, good idea, milord," he said. "I don't suppose you have another?"

He had a less attractive bit of cord in his pocket that he'd used to tie his braid off while he slept last night. "Hold still," Veredi said, then went and started combing his fingers through Aelrak's hair.

Aelrak froze, holding onto Odger's wounded hand and bloody bandage. Aelrak's hair was softer, but thicker, and gathered easily into a neat topknot in Veredi's hands. He looped the cord around it, pulled it tight, then finished it with a backwards bow, because he forgot he was doing someone else's hair and his fingers moved automatically.

"Eh, good enough," Veredi said. He patted Aelrak's shoulder, then sidled around beside him. "How's your hand, Odger?"

"Uh," Odger said. "Fine?" Aelrak resumed peeling the bandage up, and Odger winced. "As fine as could be expected," he amended.

"I don't think it should bleed too much if you hold it still," Aelrak said. He continued slowly peeling the bandage up. "But you should let us do most of the work."

"Yes, sir," Odger said, sounding very much as if it was automatic.

"Good boy," Veredi murmured. Louder, he said, "I'll start getting him wet while you finish that."

"Sure," Aelrak said. After a beat, he added, "My lord."

Odger was really very dirty. Some of the dirt began to run as soon as Veredi wiped him down with a wet cloth, but some of it was going to take scrubbing. The cleaning enchantment on the bath basin wasn't advanced enough to handle chunks or large bits of detritus, but thankfully most of it seemed like ground-in dirt rather than a coating of mud, blood, or lint.

"I think I'll wash the wound before we take him into the bath proper," Aelrak said. "If that's all right with you, my lord."

"Sure," Veredi replied, pressing himself up against Odger's back to reach around and wet down his chest without getting in Odger's way. The way it made Odger go completely tense was a happy side-effect. It was like having a toy who was also a little afraid of him.

It took Aelrak longer to properly clean Odger's wound than it took for Veredi to get him clean enough to take in the bath, so Veredi occupied himself by teasing Odger. He paid an inordinate amount of attention to Odger's chest hair and nipples. Odger sported a semi by the time Aelrak moved them to the bath.

Aelrak joined in on the teasing once they had Odger in the bath, although Veredi didn't know if Odger could tell Aelrak was also teasing him. Aelrak's version of teasing was less flirtatious than Veredi's, of course. He briskly soaped Odger's chest up and pretended not to notice when Odger sucked in a breath or twitched. Veredi took his time washing Odger's injured arm, then moved on to his legs when Aelrak started on the other arm. He pointedly ignored Odger's cock for the moment, which was shaping up to be pretty damn impressive now that it was mostly hard. They had Odger sit down so they could scrub his feet, which he attempted to demur because it turned out he was very ticklish.

Veredi washed Odger's hair while he was still sitting, which took more than one pass with the shampoo bar. Veredi hadn't realized it, having long hair himself, but it seemed like short hair could somehow get dirtier than long hair. He would have thought the longer hair collected more dirt and debris, but considering how filthy Odger's hair and scalp were, that must have been wrong.

When they had Odger stand up once more, Aelrak lathered up his hands and went directly for Odger's cock. Odger gasped and jerked away on reflex. Veredi gave his ass a little smack anyway. "Hold still," he said.

"Sorry, sir," Odger breathed. "I was startled. It won't happen again."

"It better not," Aelrak said. "Spread your legs a bit, I don't want to miss anything." Odger widened his stance a bit, and Aelrak brusquely grabbed his balls. Odger grunted a little, but didn't flinch away.

Veredi took a few moments to just watch Aelrak jerk Odger off while he pretended that wasn't what he was doing. Then he said, "Aelrak, I think we've missed a spot."

"Did we?" Aelrak asked, sounding unconcerned. He fondled Odger's balls some more, spreading around the soap and lather. Odger's hips trembled.

"We did," Veredi said, dipping his fingers in the water. Water was not the best lubricant, but it was better than nothing. He slid his fingers between the cheeks of Odger's ass. Odger moaned just a bit.

"Oh, of course, my lord," Aelrak said. "I should have realized."

Without discussing it, they turned Odger around and had him kneel on the bench. They sat down on either side of him, Aelrak still toying with his cock while Veredi teased his asshole. Aelrak occasionally grabbed some more soap, although he was no longer making much of an effort to pretend this was about cleaning; he was using the extra slip. Veredi didn't think it would be a good idea to do the same, seeing as he was going inside Odger.

For his part, Odger held still and let them do what they willed. His breathing grew more and more labored. Soon enough he was failing to hold himself back from twitching and jerking in response to Aelrak and Veredi's ministrations.

"You're taking it so well," Veredi purred. His fingers made a squelching sound as he pressed them in again. Odger gasped for breath.

"What are you talking about?" Aelrak asked, tugging again on Odger's cock. "We're just cleaning him up. Your lordship doesn't need a filthy slave dirtying up the place."

"But he's being so good for us," Veredi said, looking over at Aelrak with wide, innocent eyes. He belied his protest by stroking his fingers along Odger's prostate. "Good behavior warrants praise."

Aelrak grinned back at him, a nasty grin with a smug undercurrent, which made heat zap down Veredi's spine. "Begging my lord's pardon," he said, "but good behavior is only what your lordship is due. It's not worth rewarding."

Veredi didn't trust himself to respond aloud. He merely swallowed the saliva that had gathered in his mouth, and shifted his attention back to fucking Odger with his fingers.

"Besides," Aelrak murmured, "he's enjoying the attention. Aren't you?" Odger didn't reply. Aelrak scowled and stopped yanking on his cock to squeeze it in his fist, drawing up the foreskin to the head and practically holding it hostage. Odger yelped, his asshole clenching around Veredi's fingers as Aelrak repeated, "Aren't you, boy?"

"Yes sir!" Odger cried.

Aelrak relaxed his grip but did not resume stroking Odger's cock. "Yes sir what?" he asked.

"Uh," Odger said. Poor man was lost, too overwhelmed to follow the conversation. "Yes sir I'm...a slut?"

Veredi laughed. Aelrak was smirking as he said, "I suppose that's true enough."

"Well," Veredi said, "he's a smart fellow." He rubbed his finger against Odger's prostate again, which made Odger's cock twitch. "He already knows how he can be useful."

"Yes, sir," Odger said, looking at Veredi. "Yes, please, I can be useful."

Veredi paused, then drew his fingers out of Odger's ass entirely. Odger whimpered at the loss. Veredi said, "I can think of some ways you can be useful. Turn around and bend over." He looked over at Aelrak. "Fuck his ass for me."

Aelrak grinned at him. "Yes, my lord," he said, taking a step back and stroking his own cock.

Watching Aelrak work his cock into someone else's ass probably could have gotten Veredi there on its own. Aelrak was merciless as well as handsome, and Odger was now a lovely combination of sensitive and submissive that meant he made the sexiest little sounds when Aelrak moved in him.

In fact, despite his cock being unattended except for how it was now pressed against the wall of the bath, Odger came quite quickly, shooting ropes of come onto the tiled bath wall, which dripped down into the bath water. Aelrak paused, glancing over at Veredi for permission to keep going.

"I don't care if he's satisfied," Veredi said. He wasn't quite finished yet himself, considering no one had been playing with his cock, or nipples, or asshole. Not that he wouldn't happily watch Aelrak bully someone's hole even after he was spent. Even without the prospect of Aelrak fucking him now that they both understood what was on offer, Veredi would have counted himself lucky just to watch Aelrak fuck other people.

Aelrak's eyes, meanwhile, dropped to Veredi's lap, where Veredi had his own cock in hand. Oh, he was much more interested now that he knew he wouldn't have to take Veredi's cock in order to please him. Veredi bit his lip to hold back a shiver.

Odger cried out when Aelrak's thrusts redoubled. "No, please," he moaned. "I can't, it's too much, stop!"

Veredi hissed in a breath just to cover his gasp at how much that affected him. "Hit him," he told Aelrak.

Aelrak pulled almost all the way out, slapped Odger's ass, then plunged back in. Odger sobbed. "That's not your decision, slut," Aelrak growled, and fucking gods, how was Veredi supposed to cope with that?

After a few more thrusts, Odger managed to gather himself enough to say, "I'm sorry, sir."

"As you should be," Veredi said. He had to reach down to squeeze his balls as he yanked on his dick. "If I tell you to take it, what's your job?"

Odger groaned. "To take it, sir."

"That's right," Veredi said. He hoped he could get Aelrak to be that rough with him. He knew Veredi wasn't really noble, didn't really think he was above Aelrak. To Odger, Veredi went on, "Right now, you're just a hole to be filled."

"Yes, sir," Odger agreed, sounding very much as if he was crying.

Aelrak's fingers visibly dug into Odger's hips to pull him back onto his cock as far as Odger would go. His fingertips were white from the force of it. He asked, "*What* are you?"

Odger whined for a second. "A hole," he gasped. "A hole to be filled. I'm--oh, gods--I'm a hole to be filled."

If Veredi was not mistaken, his orgasm arrived only a few moments before Aelrak did. His cock spasmed in the bathwater, adding to the mess he hoped the cleaning spells could take care of. Aelrak ground his hips against Odger's ass, letting out a low groan.

They'd done enough to clean Odger up before Aelrak put it in him that he didn't need to clean off his cock. He gave it a quick pass anyway, apparently for good measure, while Odger lay slumped over the edge of the basin, face on the floor tiles, and Veredi attempted to convince himself he should not fall asleep in the warm, used bath water.

"What a nice show," Veredi murmured when he saw Odger's eye on him. "You make an excellent cock sleeve, Odger."

Odger squeezed his eyes shut. "Thank you, sir," he said.

Ze passed him in the hall a few minutes later, coming out of the shuttle bay as ze entered. He looked spooked, so Jaz guessed he'd heard something from the boarding team.

The boarding team was unloading bodies from the shuttle. For a moment, Jaz wondered why the fuck they had killed people and then brought the bodies back, but even Ruchs wasn't that stupid; they were cuffed and unconscious. There were five of them: two women and three men. One of the women was very tall, while one of the men was quite short. They were all dressed in the kind of cheap clothes sold at spaceports everywhere, the kind that wouldn't stand out on a strange planet or be too much in the way if the gravity went out. The short man's pants and sleeves were rolled up several times to fit his short limbs.

As Jaz approached, Ruchs looked up at zem. "Here," he said, nudging the short man with his shoe, "the midget's got your pervert earrings, so you take him. He and his little lady squad tried to take us out, and they did a damn sight better job than I'd expect smugglers to. Find out what he knows, I already dosed him with penta."

Jaz glanced at the small man's arms to see one of his sleeves was rolled up a little more to expose a forearm, and there was a red blotch where a test patch had torn out some of his arm hair. At least Ruchs hadn't cut that corner, ze thought, but for fuck's sake, jumping right to penta? For, what, five people?

"Don't look at me like that," Ruchs snapped. "I only dosed him and the Pasien woman, the rest of them looked to him for orders. You'll have to do it in your room, though, we don't have enough cells in the brig."

"You want me to take a drugged prisoner to my private quarters?" Jaz asked. Ze added belatedly, "Sir."

"You can take him wherever you fucking want," Ruchs said, "as long as it's not the brig. I want them in separate rooms."

Jaz rolled zeir eyes and scooped up the little man. He was heavier than he looked, but Jaz didn't stop to adjust how ze was carrying him until ze was out of sight of Ruchs. "Sorry," ze muttered, although the little man was still out from the stunner. At least, ze hoped it was from the stunner; the penta might wear off if ze had to wait for him to regain consciousness from head trauma, and God only knew if Ruchs knew enough to avoid that.

Some of the weight seemed to be from a brace on his leg, but mostly the little man was just much more muscular than Jaz anticipated. He smelled good, too, and ze'd gotten a good enough look at his earrings to know he was pan and not not-looking. Inconvenient, to find an enemy or prisoner attractive, but ze figured it would be easy enough to ignore. For all ze knew, the small man had a grating voice or worked for the Cache-in syndicates.

Jaz reached zeir quarters and got the door open with little trouble, but then was faced with the problem of putting him down gently. Ze ended up shoving aside the stuff on zeir table and laying him down on that before transferring him to one of the chairs.

The chairs were not designed for restraining people, but the Fleet-issued cuffs were, and even with the man's shorter arms, Jaz got him secured and hopefully not too uncomfortable. His feet didn't quite reach the floor, which Jaz probably shouldn't have found cute.

He was handsome, too, on top of smelling good. His earrings were the bare minimum, and it looked as though he hadn't depilated recently, with a rasp of dark stubble on the lower half of his face. His shoulders seemed uneven and he was wearing that brace on one of his legs, although he wasn't quite proportioned like most of the other little people Jaz had known. Jaz wondered if that was because little people were rare even on Gnilles, or if it spoke to him having another condition.

He started stirring as Jaz was finishing up with his cuffs, so thankfully it seemed like only a heavy stun. Jaz pulled zeir other chair out of kicking range and sat down across from him.

The small man blinked a few times, probably trying to convince his eyes to stay open. He looked up at Jaz, then took stock of his surroundings and flexed his arms. "I've had worse dreams," he said. His voice was not grating; it was startlingly deep, and inconveniently very hot. Looking back at Jaz, he went on, "God, you're sexy." At that, he frowned for a moment, then looked enlightened and said, "Oh, I've been drugged." Then he started to laugh.

At least he knew he'd been drugged. He wasn't entirely addled, then. Still, Jaz frowned. "What's so funny about waking up drugged?" ze asked him.

"It's useless," the small man said, grinning at zem. "I have weird reactions to almost every drug. One of my many gifts. Oh, look at your earrings!" Jaz had half zeir earrings in common with him--the pan and not not-looking ones--with the others being zeir pronouns, obviously, plus a set advertising how much ze liked sucking dick. "I'd love to suck your cock," the small man said, then made a face. "A pentathol derivative, I take it? I'm usually somewhat more able to keep thoughts to myself."

"That's what my captain said," Jaz confirmed. "And you didn't have an allergy, according to the test patch."

"Like I said, one of the many gifts of being me," the small man said with a shrug. "I asked Uncle Ivan if I could get the allergy induced, to avoid this situation, but he told me that would be a stupid way to die. It would be, but this feels like a pretty stupid way to live at the moment. You're really unfairly attractive, I don't see how you could possibly interrogate me when every other thing I say is apparently going to be about how magnificent your tits are."

Jaz sighed. "Yeah, neither do I," ze said. Not like ze knew how to conduct an interrogation anyway, outside of the obvious and ineffective threats. Ze sort of knew how pentathol interrogations worked, but that was enough to know it was a skill. One ze had never studied. "Listen," Jaz asked the small man, "what's your name?"

"Alex Patrero," he said. "But call me Sasha, please, I'd rather hear you call me that. Although really I'd enjoy hearing you say anything, I think, since your voice is just as beautiful as the rest of you."

"Sasha," Jaz said, and the man in question grinned eagerly. "Are you sure this isn't a dangerous reaction to penta?"

"Just annoying," Sasha said. "Probably more annoying for you than for me, although I said some very embarrassing things the first time someone put me under. Pretty much the same things I'm saying to you, although he wasn't half as hot as you are and it had been a lot less time since I'd gotten laid, so in hindsight, I think that's more embarrassing." He shrugged again as he went on, "But I'm not immune to older men in positions of authority and no one should expect me to be. The worst part is, I can kind of control it; I could probably lie to you, but I'm sure I'd get distracted halfway through and offer to suck you off again."

It was very difficult for Jaz not to laugh. "I'm not sure you made it all the way to offering to suck me off before," ze said, "so I don't see how it could be 'again' already. Why'd you come to Greenhome, Sasha?"

"Mostly to save the EM," Sasha said, which was the model of the freighter he'd come into the system on, "but partially because I needed to get away from Gnilles before Vasquez realized the land I sold him was worthless." Well, Sasha certainly had the meandering thoughts penta was supposed to induce, but he went on too quickly for Jaz to try and redirect him. "It's much more difficult to make a profit in a hurry than I assumed it would be," he said. "The only thing that seemed like it would work was a high-risk high-reward job like this one, but evidently that wasn't a good gamble. To be clear, I would suck you off as many times as you wanted. I'm small enough I could just live under your desk with your cock in my mouth." He made another pained face. "That's one of the stupidest things I've ever suggested to anyone and I'm probably going to be jerking off about it for weeks. Christ."

Now, it was impossible for Jaz not to laugh. "Be a bit of a waste," ze said, still smiling, as ze flicked zeir ear. "Not that I'd object to oral on demand, but I typically picture it the other way around."

"It feels more presumptuous to suggest that," Sasha said, "although I certainly wouldn't protest. I don't think my size would let me 69 with most people, which I never especially regretted until this moment."

"Pretty nice when you can manage it," Jaz said, "but kind of a logistical problem, yeah. If you're just smuggling, why'd you try to fight the boarding party?"

"Because your captain's a sexist pig who insulted my sister," Sasha said. He made a thoughtful face after that statement. "Sister is an over-simplification that I don't usually use," he said. "That's interesting."

Jaz held back a sigh. "That unfortunately tracks," ze said.

"He's kind of a bully," Sasha told zem. "I assume you don't have much of a choice, as a mercenary, but I don't think I could take two weeks of serving under that man before arranging a mutiny."

Jaz had been Captain Ruchs's XO for nine months. Ze was certainly tempted, some days, but Ruchs owned the Stolas and Admiral Tian would never let zem get away with it. A pity, since Jaz knew ze'd be a better captain than Ruchs. Hell, a monkey would be a better captain than Ruchs. At least a monkey would let zem do zeir job. Jaz said, "No comment."

Sasha laughed. "And you're funny, too," he said. "Of course you are. Why couldn't we have met on Gnilles? Not that I would have ever been able to get up the nerve to speak to you. Rushing into dangerous situations against superior forces is easy, talking to the most beautiful ambi I've ever seen would be impossible if I wasn't drugged." He wrinkled his nose. "That sounds rather more pathetic than I meant it to. It's just that I suspect my brain would shut off around you even if I wasn't drugged."

"Oh, I don't think that would have been a problem," Jaz said, smiling. "If you weren't a prisoner, I would gladly have gone to my knees in front of you the first time you said something. Or at least," ze rolled zeir eyes, "I would've if we were back home. You know how weird galactics get about sex."

Sasha laughed again. "Do I ever," he said. "But you don't have to flatter me. In fact, it's probably counter-productive, considering how now I can't stop thinking about what you'd look like with my cock in your mouth."

It was Jaz who laughed this time. "I'm not flattering you," ze said. "Although you're right, mentioning that I also find you attractive isn't going to help either of us. Honestly, it sounds like the captain was overreacting to you being understandably offended by him being his usual self." Although he had said something about one of them being a Pasien, hadn't he? Ze frowned and added, "Unless you really did have a Pasien woman with you."

"We did," Sasha said at once. "She's really not very good at pretending not to be, I had to remind her to take off her uniform jacket before we were boarded. I don't see how that's useful information, though, you already know we were smuggling, and I don't think your Nylians would have to bother. If you think interrogating me is a waste of time, I would really like to see you naked."

It was so difficult to keep a hold of any measure of professionalism when he just kept saying things like that. Jaz purred, "I know you would," then had to struggle with zemself to stop flirting. "But, ah, you are kind of my prisoner right now," ze said. "So that isn't in the cards, I'm afraid."

"Displaying strong moral fiber doesn't make you less attractive," Sasha said. He looked so earnest about it, too. His eyes were a dark brown that Jaz could easily find zemself lost in. "I just thought if interrogating me is a waste of time, we've established there are other things we could be doing instead."

"I hope to God Captain Ruchs would find me fucking a prisoner while I'm supposed to be interrogating them unacceptable," Jaz said. "Any decent commander would." Sasha grinned at zem. "Did he take your com?" ze asked.

He looked thoughtful. "I'm not sure," he said. "I was unconscious for a bit, you know." He jiggled his legs, first the right, then the left. "I don't think so? It feels like it's still in my pocket. Why? I'm not stupid enough to leave anything incriminating on it." Jaz leaned over and slipped zeir hand into his trouser pocket to fish his com out. Sasha froze, then sighed. "You even smell good," he said, leaning in closer.

"Good," Jaz said. Fuck, resisting someone from home who really wanted to fuck zem was difficult. "So I thought," ze murmured, "assuming we both make it back to Gnilles some day, I'd give you my code."

"Fuck," Sasha breathed, "you're serious."

"Why wouldn't I be?" Jaz asked. His com was locked. Jaz probably could have gotten him to unlock it for zem, but then ze'd feel obligated to snoop through it in case he was stupid enough to leave something incriminating on it. That was probably rude if you were serious about hooking up later. Instead, ze leaned back to pull zeir own com out of zeir pocket, then opened it up to transmit a contact request. That popped up on Sasha's com to accept or reject without needing to be unlocked, so Jaz accepted it for him, before leaning over once more to slip his com back into his pocket. "There," ze said, patting the com through his trouser pocket.

"Are you really sure I can't at least offer you a blowjob?" Sasha asked, breathlessly. "I won't tell if you won't. Helen could hardly blame you, she knows how I react to drugs, she'd believe me about being too attracted to you to focus on being interrogated."

Jaz forced zemself to lean back again, out of easy touching distance. "Is that your sister who's too complicated to actually be your sister?" ze asked.

He nodded. "She's officially my bodyguard right now, but she has a room at my grandma's place in the Buckeye sector and calls my mom her aunt," he said. "I'd like to say she'd like you, but I doubt I'm thinking clearly enough to make that call."

"Probably not," Jaz agreed, grinning. "If she's supposed to be your bodyguard, she probably wouldn't be predisposed to like me at the moment."

"She knows not to hold people's orders against them," Sasha said. "You know, I'm starting to wonder if penta doesn't just break down my filters and inhibitions but actually has an aphrodisiac effect on me, because I am embarrassingly close to an erection just from looking at and talking to you. God, I wish I could have held that one in," he said, cringing.

Jaz smiled. "And here I didn't even tell you to check my socials the next time you're home," ze said.

"Oh?" Sasha asked.

"Well," Jaz said, leaning back in zeir chair in a way that ze knew thrust zeir chest out, "I've got a lot of sexy pictures you'd be able to access with my code saved in your com."

Sasha growled, "I bet you do," and forget idiosyncratic reactions to penta, Jaz was about to have a visible erection just from the way he looked at zem. Fuck.

Jaz attempted to rally and figure out if there was anything else ze could ask that stood a chance of being useful to Ruchs, but ze couldn't hang on to any thoughts--outside of how much ze really wanted to climb onto Sasha's lap--for long enough to form a question.

Zeir com buzzed. Since it was already in zeir hand, Jaz flipped it open. "Arroyo here," ze said.

"Lieutenant," came Nakamura's voice, "have you heard from the boarding party since you left the shuttle bay?"

"No," Jaz said. "Why?"

"I just got a weird alert from Captain Ruchs," Nakamura said, "but he didn't answer when I tried to call him. So I tried Vane, and his com was offline. I was going to try Nicholson next, but I thought I should let you know."

What the hell? Four stunned and cuffed prisoners shouldn't have been a problem for Ruchs and the away team, especially once they had them in the brig. Ze frowned at Sasha, who was flushed and biting his lip, looking at Jaz like being cuffed to a chair was the only thing keeping him from ripping zeir clothes off. Ze had a really hard time believing that reaction was faked. Although on the other hand, he had told zem outright he thought he could still lie to zem.

"It's probably nothing," Jaz told Nakamura over the com, "but seal the bridge. I'll check it out."

"Yes, sir," Nakamura said, sounding relieved.

"Arroyo out," ze said, then closed the call. Ze looked at Sasha for a moment, who had barely reacted to hearing Jaz tell Nakamura to seal the bridge. Was anyone capable of doing that good a job acting while on penta, even with a weird reaction to it? He was having trouble keeping things to himself, and wandering thoughts. That couldn't be conducive to maintaining covers. "Our boarding party seems to be having comms trouble," ze said. "You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

"I'm not sure I know anything right now," Sasha said, which was fair on the one hand, but also obviously untrue. "Except I would wager money that your captain underestimated my crew's combat abilities, since they're half women, and is about to get bit in the ass. Not literally," he added. "He should be so lucky; I don't even find Firuze that attractive but if she suggested I let her hurt me recreationally, I'd say yes."

"I think you're probably right about penta getting you worked up," Jaz said, bemused. Ze indulged zemself with a theatrical sigh. "And here I thought you found me particularly irresistible."

"Oh, I do," Sasha assured zem, "but I'm honestly as susceptible to older women in positions of authority as older men. Funnily enough, that probably is genetic, considering Father's past." He frowned. "Oh, that's very much not my business to tell."

Jaz chuckled. "I am far less interested in your dad's kinks than in yours," ze said. "Are you sure you're not in any danger from penta? I can't take you with me like this."

"As sure as I can be of my reaction to any drug," Sasha said with another shrug. "So not entirely. But this chair isn't bolted in place, and I could probably break some of my bones trying to escape. I don't mean this in a horny way, except now I've said it I kind of do, but you should probably tie me to the bed." He frowned again. "Should I have told you that, considering I have a duty to escape?" he asked. "Though I suppose my doctors would be glad I'm thinking of my bone health finally."

"You are a truly fascinating person," Jaz said, kneeling next to him to adjust the cuffs. "Especially considering you obviously are managing to keep things from me."

"It really would have been better for your pig captain to interrogate me," Sasha said easily enough. "It's not hard to keep myself distracted with you here. But I haven't lied, either!" He grinned. "Eh, this resisting interrogation stuff is easier than they said it would be."

"I'm also not a trained interrogator," Jaz said, but couldn't help smiling. Ze led him over to the bed, and didn't even have to push him to lay down upon it. "Is the weird drug reaction thing related to the ease of breaking your bones?" ze asked, pulling his arms over his head.

"If you had any interest in experimental medical treatments you'd probably know exactly who I am already," Sasha told zem. "Grandma introduced me to an old med school friend once and he got so excited he sounded like--well, like me right now, really. Less horny about it, but not entirely? I assume you know how scientists get. But yes, they're both because of the same incident. It's also why I'm so short and already have more artificial joints than my grandmother. You know, somehow I doubt attachment points come standard with the bunks on Tynnier corvettes."

"Well, you never know when you're going to have to tie a prisoner to your bed while you deal with his friends possibly breaking out of the brig," Jaz said. Ze had to lean over him to attach his other wrist to the headboard, and was a little surprised Sasha didn't try to lean up into zeir boobs. Ze told zemself ze wasn't disappointed. "It's not like I've been picking people up while we're on blockade duty."

"You are literally tying someone willing to fix that to your bed right now," Sasha said. "Just saying."

"You've got my code, babe," Jaz said, patting his cheek. Sasha turned to kiss zeir palm, which made Jaz's stomach flutter. "Not fair," ze muttered.

"The most beautiful ambi I've ever seen is tying me to zeir bed so ze can leave me," Sasha said, fixing zem with a credibly doleful look. "Don't talk to me about fairness. It would be so, so easy for you to sit on my face right now."

"Not sure what it says that your rapid switching from sweet compliments to filthy suggestions is really doing something to me," Jaz said. Ze crossed over to zeir wardrobe to grab zeir set of Fleet-issued cuffs. Ze had some in the bedside table, of course, but those were sex toys and as such, designed to be escapable in an emergency. Jaz would really rather at least try to keep control of the situation, which meant not making it easy for zeir sexy prisoner to escape.

"That not filtering my thoughts is a more successful strategy than I would have thought?" Sasha suggested. "Or possibly that you're a slut. God, sorry, that was rude."

"I hardly think you meant it in a negative way," Jaz said, returning to the bed with zeir cuffs. "And you know, it's actually much harder to be a slut as an ambi out in the galaxy. I mean, if you don't want to fuck chasers."

"Awful," Sasha said. "A terrible tragedy. You should have a smorgasbord of dicks to suck at your leisure. You are also welcome to have your way with me right now."

"You've made that very clear, Sasha," Jaz said. Ze went to attach the cuff to the attachment point at the foot of the bed, and ran into a problem: Sasha was much shorter than Jaz had set up the attachment points for. Ze glanced up at him, and was not overly surprised to see his trousers did have a bit of a tent in them now. God, he was tempting. Ze said, "I want you to know this is not an indication I'm going to fuck you right now after all, this is problem solving."  Ze crawled over to the head of the bed to open up zeir bondage supply drawer.

"Sorry, what other kind of problem are you solving with condoms or sex toys?" Sasha asked, craning his head up in an attempt to see what Jaz was doing. "Oh, wait. The cuffs don't reach, do they? You know, that's not an obstacle I've run into before. Then again, this is the most real-world bondage experience I've ever had, and it isn't really, so."

"Really?" Jaz asked, pulling out a length of chain and considering it. "With your weakness for older authority figures? That's a shame."

"I know!" Sasha exclaimed. "Of course, I do feel like it would be hard to trust anyone who was too eager to tie me up to be interested for the right reasons. It's probably not as common as for you, of course, but still: chasers."

"It really shouldn't be so much to ask to be actually desired instead of fetishized," Jaz said. "I think I'm going to have to move you, sorry."

"Oh no, how terrible," Sasha said. "More time in proximity, with your hands on me. What will I do? How will I live? Can I get through it without embarrassing myself? Hm, that last one was less of a joke than I thought it was going to be."

Jaz stood up and detached one of Sasha's wrists from the bed. Threading the chain through it was simple enough. Then, of course, ze had to get his other wrist, so ze knelt on the bed and leaned over him to get it. This time, Sasha did stretch upward to nose at the hem of Jaz's shirt. Jaz nearly dropped the chain and narrowly avoided toppling over on top of him. "As nice as it is that you're so hot for me," Jaz said, "I am trying to work."

"I won't insult us both by offering you an insincere apology," Sasha said, smoldering up at zem.

"You're a menace," Jaz said. Ze unhooked his other wrist, pulled it over to the center of the bed, and threaded the chain through the larger anchor point ze had installed for not quite exactly this use. Ze reattached the cuffs to each other, and said, "There. That gets us a good foot of extra play. Scoot down the bed for me? Please?"

"God," Sasha groaned. "I'm lucky you didn't take that tone earlier."

"I'll have to keep it in mind if the penta hasn't worn off by the time I get back," Jaz said, grinning, as Sasha obediently scooted down the bed until the chain was nearly taut. "Do you need me to move the pillow down, too?"

"It's not exactly my dearest wish at the moment," Sasha said, breathlessly, "but I wouldn't turn it down."

Jaz rolled zeir eyes, and adjusted the pillow so it was again beneath Sasha's head. Ze moved back down to the foot of the bed, now able to attach the cuffs on his ankles to the bed.

"Before you go?" Sasha said, as Jaz turned away. "I know it won't sound like it but I swear this isn't for pervert reasons, at least not entirely, damnation but it would be nice to keep literally anything to myself, but could you undo my trousers? I didn't choose them for how comfortable they'd be to have an erection in, and they're only going to get more painful from here."

Jaz had been attempting to avoid looking directly at the tent in Sasha's pants. A glance revealed he was either quite hard already, or well-endowed. "Really?" ze asked. "You're going to get more turned on after I leave?"

"I'm tied to your bed and it smells like you," Sasha said. He was wide-eyed and looked perfectly sincere. "Frankly at this point I'll be relieved if I haven't come in my pants before you get back. I would much rather come with or because of you, but I'd prefer you being here to not, and you watching me come would still be pretty nice." He paused. "That is legitimately something I didn't know I'd be into until I said it."

"You are not making this easy," Jaz said. Ze considered whether adjusting zeir own dick would make things worse or better at this point, and decided against it. Ze went back to the side of the bed and attempted to be business-like and efficient about unzipping Sasha's pants. Ze failed, of course, but in zeir defense ze hadn't been prepared for Sasha's cock to spring out of his opened trousers like that.

Sasha whimpered as his cock was freed. "Okay, thank you," he said. His eyes were screwed tight and he was now quite red in the face. "If you could leave now, I'd appreciate it. That or fuck me. Your call. God, but I would like you to fuck me."

"Jesus, no wonder you needed your pants undone," Jaz said, barely listening to him. "Where the hell were you hiding that?"

Sasha laughed. "I would expect you to know dicks are typically smaller when not erect," he said. "Men in my family are usually at least six feet tall, and since there are no bones to collapse under their own weight in my dick, it developed just fine under the assumption I was supposed to be twice this size. Honestly the one real boon of my condition, since it would be a respectable but unremarkable dick for a man of six feet."

"Sweetheart, I'm just shy of six feet and my dick isn't that big," Jaz said.

"Yes, well," Sasha said. "You're not a man."

"True," Jaz said. Despite what porn would have one believe, most ambis were on the average-to-small side in the dick department. Jaz had certainly known ambis with smaller cocks than zem, but all of the cis men ze'd been with had been bigger than zem. Ze reached out and ran zeir fingers down the outline of Sasha's cock in his briefs.

His hips jerked at zeir touch. "God, please," he said. "Although if you're actually going to touch me I would really like it if you pulled my underwear out of the way."

"I shouldn't," Jaz said, although the reason didn't come directly to mind.

Sasha laughed. "Well, I suppose I did say you could have your way with me," he said, sounding strained. His cock was still getting harder beneath Jaz's fingers. That wasn't even his full size, God.

"I really didn't picture leaving your underwear on," Jaz said. Ze wrapped zeir hand around the base of his cock. "I mean, they're not even sexy." They weren't unattractive, only plain black knit briefs. Jaz owned similar pairs.

"Unfortunately I didn't dress in anticipation of meeting you," Sasha said, his breath hitching as Jaz knelt on the bed next to him.

Jaz smiled. Ze tugged Sasha's trousers a bit more out of the way with zeir free hand as ze asked, "What would that have looked like?"

"Less," Sasha said promptly, making Jaz laugh. "Since I didn't pack any lingerie or uniforms. You are being such a tease right now, I wish I was more upset about it."

Jaz squeezed his cock, gently. "Now why," ze asked, half of zeir brain devoted to thinking how good his cock would feel good inside zem, "would you assume a uniform would work for me?" Did ze have any condoms bigger than zeir size? Ze surely wouldn't have thrown them out just because it had been more than a year since ze got laid.

"You're a Gnillesian who joined a paramilitary organization voluntarily," Sasha said, "and you don't appear to be a fascist, so." Jaz chuckled. "Uniform kink seemed like a safe bet."

"All right," ze said, smiling, "fair enough." It wasn't like he was wrong, after all; the Tian Fleet uniforms weren't the reason ze'd joined, but they didn't hurt. And ze had disqualified more than one outfit from consideration because ze didn't want to wear their uniforms. Jaz bent down to mouth at Sasha's clothed erection.

"Oh, God," Sasha yelped, hips jerking up, "that's not what I expected you to start with but I'm not complaining, fuck, God, that's good!"

Jaz pulled back enough that zeir lips would still brush against the head of Sasha's cock as they spoke. "You had a point about how much of a tease I was being," ze said. "Thought you might appreciate it."

"I do, I very much do," Sasha said. "I don't think I've ever appreciated anything more."

Jaz swung one leg over Sasha's, so ze was straddling him, then tugged his trousers and briefs further down his hips. He was a hairy man, which Jaz might have guessed from his arms. He had a full if clearly groomed bush, hairy thighs, and a trail of hair heading up from his cock to under his shirt. Jaz shoved his shirt up to confirm that his stomach was also fuzzy before bending down to kiss it. That happened to press zeir tits against Sasha's cock.

"Oh, God, please, yes," Sasha panted, rubbing up against zem. "That's so good, yes, God."

Jaz wondered if he was this vocal during sex normally. Presumably not, since it sounded so much like his other babbling. That was rather a shame; Jaz liked having so much enthusiastic feedback. Ze reached down to fondle his cock with one hand while ze used the other to yank open zeir uniform top. Ze smeared his cock between zeir tits while kissing his stomach again. After a few moments, ze sat up and stripped zeir top off completely.

"You are really preposterously, unbelievably hot," Sasha said. "Are you seriously wearing that under your uniform? I thought you said you weren't picking anyone up on blockade duty. You look ready to seduce at a moment's notice."

"I wear a uniform all day, every day," Jaz said, dropping zeir top off the side of the bed. Most of zeir lingerie was functional, so ze could wear it under zeir uniform. This bra had two part cups that provided an acceptable amount of support while playing peek-a-boo with zeir nipples, as well as an additional set of straps defining the top swell of zeir breasts. It wouldn't have been zeir first choice for combat, but for around the ship it was fine. "A runt's got to feel sexy somehow," ze said, dropping onto zeir hands to crawl up the bed and settle on him chest to chest.

"Not to argue against lingerie as daily underwear," Sasha said, looking at zem like he had never seen anything so appealing, "because I am very in favor of it, but have you considered looking in a mirror? Just a suggestion on how you could feel sexy."

Jaz laughed. Ze brushed a thumb over Sasha's mouth, leading him to part his lips. His cock twitched against Jaz's lower stomach as Jaz leaned in to kiss him.

He was a little over-eager, which wasn't the worst reason to be a sloppy kisser. He groaned into Jaz's mouth. Ze briefly wondered why he wasn't touching zem back, before ze realized ze was a dumbass and he was still tied up. Jaz had to pull back from kissing him to look up and see how to unfasten his cuffs.

Initially, Sasha grumbled, "Why'd you stop?" but when Jaz had to stretch up to get the cuffs, it put zeir breasts right in his face. "God, never mind," he said, nuzzling into them. He used his nose to pull the lower part of one bra cup down, then sucked Jaz's nipple right into his mouth.

Jaz fumbled the cuffs. "I mean, I'm trying to uncuff you," ze breathed, but it felt too good to really complain. Sasha hummed something that might have been words, if his mouth wasn't full. Jaz forced zemself to concentrate. Ze only managed to get the cuffs unhooked from each other before Sasha tugged his hands free and got them both on Jaz's breasts, trailing the chain that had connected them over his own head.

Jaz had to sit up to grab the wrist with the chain still attached long enough to separate them. Sasha took the opportunity to pull the other lower cup of Jaz's bra down. "God, you're perfect," Sasha said. He pinched Jaz's nipple. "Although I half-expected piercings. That's not a complaint, mind you, it just seemed like a possibility."

"I won't say I haven't thought about it," Jaz said, zeir eyes drifting shut against zeir will. Ze had to make an effort in order to finish detaching the chain from Sasha's cuff, and then it was already halfway there, so ze went ahead and removed the cuff entirely. Ze shoved the chain and cuff off the mattress, then let Sasha pull zem back down on top of him.

With zeir tits in his face like that, their cocks lined up, and Jaz was happy to roll zeir hips to grind them together while Sasha played with zeir tits. He still occasionally made noises that might have been muffled words, but considering he always had one or both of Jaz's breasts in his mouth, ze couldn't understand him.

After several minutes, Sasha turned his head to the side, so he wouldn't be so muffled, and said, "Your trousers aren't exactly the most comfortable thing to have rubbing on my dick, darling."

"Oh!" Jaz sat up to unzip and shove them down. Then, seeing as ze was already undressing, ze got up on zeir knees and shimmied out of both trousers and panties. As cute as matching underwear sets were, most panties were not designed with dicks in mind. They fit well enough when Jaz was flaccid and could nestle zeir dick down between zeir labia, but they stopped being at all useful when ze was hard, let alone totally erect.

"You are literally so beautiful," Sasha said. As Jaz pushed off zeir boots so ze could get out of zeir trousers, he set his hands on zeir hips. "I hope you're not getting tired of hearing that because it's probably a good half of my thoughts right now," he went on. "Although now's as good a time as any to ask your name. I mean, I assume Arroyo is your family name, and as grateful as I am to your family for creating you--"

"Jaz," ze said, laughing. "My name's Jaz." Ze kicked zeir trousers off one leg, shifted zeir weight to try and get them off the other leg, then gave up when that didn't immediately work. Ze had free leg movement and access to zeir junk, that was what mattered. Sasha seemed to agree, since almost as soon as Jaz stopped wriggling he had a hand on zeir cock.

"Jaz," he said, so tenderly it almost hurt to hear. "Jaz, you're so gorgeous." He traced his fingers down and up zeir cock. "I can't decide how I want you most, I'm desperate to get my mouth on you but I can't stop thinking about how good you'd feel fucking my ass."

"And here I was, thinking I'd be at a disadvantage with no flagging earrings to work from," Jaz said. Ze jerked forward into his touch, and Sasha's other hand slipped between zeir legs to play with zeir cunt.

"Mm, compulsively blurting out my thoughts does seem to have its advantages," Sasha said, smiling. Jaz leaned a bit more forward, and two of Sasha's fingers slid into zem. "God, you're hot. And so wet. This is inane, I'm sure you know what a vagina feels like. You'd feel so good on my cock, though, fuck."

"That's what I was hoping for," Jaz admitted, rocking into his strokes. He quickly adjusted the hand on and in zeir cunt to match the rhythm they established with Jaz's cock. Slightly breathless, ze went on, "Especially since I can smother you with my tits while I ride you."

Sasha groaned, and his hand on Jaz's cock tightened. "You may actually be perfect," he said. "I would like that so, so much."

"Somehow, I thought you might," Jaz said. Ze was reluctant to stop and look for condoms, though, with both of Sasha's hands toying with zeir junk. "If we stopped so I could find a condom, would you be ready to fuck me right away?"

Sasha groaned again. "Darling, beautiful, irresistible Jaz," he said, "I have been ready to fuck you since I first woke up and saw you. But also I think I've been physically ready to fuck you since you first tied me to your bed, so yes, any time you want to sit on my dick, you go right ahead."

"God, don't tempt me," Jaz said. Ze swung zeir right leg over him, then had to finish kicking off zeir trousers so they weren't draped over him. Sasha yanked them off zeir foot and flung them across the room. "Thanks," Jaz said, laying down alongside him so ze could pull open the condoms and lube drawer of zeir bedside table. It was also the sleeping aids and antacids drawer, so Jaz had to dig a bit to find the variety pack of condoms in the back. "What are you, one or two sizes bigger than me, do you think?"

"Are those from Gnilles?" Sasha asked. "3.5 if you have it, but a 3 is fine."

"God, I cannot believe I even tried to fuck galactics," Jaz said, "you have no idea how much I missed having sex with someone sensible." Condom sizes everywhere else were still labeled, of course, but usually with ridiculous vanity sizing and measurements hidden in small print on the wrappers. Most galactics Jaz had talked to about it had no idea what actual size they wore. Not to mention the lack of standards in stretch. Jaz wasn't sure how anyone could have even remotely safe sex in those circumstances.

"Oh, I think I have some idea," Sasha said. "It's been years since I was with another Gnillesian. Most of the people I've gone down on have tried to tell me you don't need protection for oral sex, like your mouth and throat are immune to disease just because your stomach can't get pregnant."

"Ridiculous," Jaz said, rolling back over to hand the condom to Sasha. He accepted it, but used his other hand to pull zem in for a kiss. Jaz went willingly, climbing on top of him again. Ze slid down his body, stretching out and pressing flush to his chest, until ze felt the nudge of his cock between zeir legs. Ze pulled back, and smiled at how dopey Sasha looked.

Jaz sat up enough to maneuver zemself out of Sasha's way, once more straddling his thighs. He tore the condom open then rolled it on, biting his lower lip. Jaz wondered if that was to concentrate or to keep a thought from slipping out. It hardly mattered, since as soon as the condom was secure, Jaz leaned forward again, to rub his cock along zeir cunt.

"God, Jaz," Sasha breathed. "I want to fuck you until neither of us can stand."

Jaz laughed. "I assume that would be difficult," ze said, rolling zeir hips, "but you're welcome to try." Ze felt his cock slip into the right place, and sank down on it. Sasha was not the only one who groaned at that.

Riding someone was an excellent position for most ambis, since gravity ensured their cocks got to rub against their partners while their cunts were occupied. In this case, as soon as Sasha pulled Jaz down on top of him to bury his face in zeir breasts again, Jaz's cock was sandwiched between their stomachs. With Sasha's arms around zeir waist and his mouth on zeir breasts, Jaz felt like ze was getting fucked all over. The only lack was having nothing in zeir mouth, but at least that left zem free to pick up where Sasha left off, talking about how good he felt.

"God, yes," ze moaned into the small, cramped space where zeir arms bracketed the mattress above Sasha's head. "You can be rougher if you want--" Ze cried out as Sasha bit one of zeir nipples. "Just like that, yeah, you're so good, you feel so good, fuck."

Sasha slid his hands down from Jaz's waist to zeir ass. He used the leverage from getting two good handfuls of zeir ass to thrust up into zem whenever ze rocked down onto him.

"Ohhh," Jaz groaned. "That's it, that's perfect, fuck me, God, Sasha, yeah."

He moaned into Jaz's boobs and kept doing exactly what he had been doing. Jaz was quite content to lose zemself to the rhythm of sex with Sasha. The noises he made and the fervor with which he moved indicated he was also quite satisfied with their arrangement.

Jaz was right on the cusp of what was shaping up to be a very nice orgasm when zeir door made a noise, then a second later crashed open. Jaz froze, which felt incredibly vulnerable, but ze wasn't sure if any of zeir other options were any better.

"Get off of him," an unfamiliar feminine voice said.

Sasha groaned and let his head fall to the mattress, leaving Jaz's tits cold and exposed. Sasha asked, "You couldn't wait five more minutes?"

"Uh," Jaz said, turning to look. There was a tall, visibly jacked woman just inside the door. She had close-cropped hair, a pretty face, and a stunner pointed at Jaz. The tallest of the women prisoners and Sasha's sister/bodyguard, ze assumed.

"No, Helen, I'm fine," Sasha said. He picked his hands up from Jaz's ass and waved them around. "Ze's not doing anything I didn't desperately want zem to do. Please do not stun someone I am literally inside."

Jaz couldn't help giggling at that. Being too close to someone on the receiving end of a stun tended to make the body parts nearest to them go numb; the idea of having a numb erection was simply too much.

"Dammit, Sasha," Helen said, lowering and disarming her stunner.

"Could you possibly close the door?" Jaz asked, because they would be fully visible to any passers-by. "I mean, if it even will close now."

"It's fine, I just fried the lock," Helen said, holstering her stunner. She turned to shut the door; with her still inside Jaz's room, unfortunately.

Jaz slumped on top of Sasha. "We're not going to get to finish, are we," ze muttered.

"I don't think any of us would really enjoy it if we kept going with Helen here," Sasha said. He settled his hands on Jaz's waist again. "I mean, I'll do it if you want."

"I will stun you both," Helen said flatly, turning back around. "I can carry you and a stunner at the same time no problem. Pull out and get dressed." The she frowned. "Sir, if you wanted this, why are your feet cuffed to the bed?"

"Uh," Jaz said. Ze had honestly forgotten about that. Ze had honestly forgotten...about a lot, actually. Oh, this was embarrassing. Ze almost regretted it.

Sasha, on the other hand, was still feeling the effects of the penta, so told Helen, "Ze got a call from whoever was on the bridge and was going to go investigate what you were doing, and I suggested I would be safer restrained to the bed than a chair. Then I, uh."

"Seduced me?" Jaz supplied. "Or finished seducing me, I guess."

"You had already given me your com code at that point," Sasha said, grinning at zem. Jaz bent down to give him a quick kiss before dismounting him.

"Ugh," Helen said, sounding just like a sister. Jaz turned around to release the cuffs around Sasha's ankles as Helen went on, "I cannot believe you upstaged my daring escape by seducing your interrogator."

"To be fair, I have no training as an interrogator so I'm probably not very good at it," Jaz said. With one of Sasha's legs freed, ze turned around to do the other one. This was not the first time ze'd been naked in front of a sex partner's sibling, but it was the first time that sibling had been armed, and it was hard not to be nervous about it. Much more nerve-wracking than zeir prior experience. Ze went on, "And it is very difficult to resist being seduced by someone who keeps talking about how much they want you."

Helen groaned. "They gave you penta," she said. She shook her head and told Sasha, "At least ze's more attractive than your instructor was."

"Mihail is not especially good-looking," Sasha allowed, pulling his briefs and trousers up with one movement, "but he has presence." Jaz looked around for zeir trousers and underwear, decided they were perilously distant, and opted to go to the wardrobe and get a new set of each. Since ze had not retrieved zeir top, either, ze grabbed a fresh one of them as well.

"He has ten years on you and a commission," Helen said, dry as could be. Sasha hopped off the bed to finish pulling his trousers up all the way while Helen went on, "And you are"--there was the tiniest little hiccup as she redirected her sentence--"your father's son."

"Right," Jaz said from the wardrobe, stepping into zeir new underwear, "speaking of the very obvious secrets you're keeping, is there any chance I could beg off being stunned and just like, wait a few hours and say I was stunned?" Ze fixed zeir bra, tucking everything back into place. "Captain Ruchs won't have any problem believing I let myself get seduced instead of doing my job."

"The man who implied Sasha had to have me fuck women for him?" Helen asked, looking skeptical.

"He what--fucking hell," Jaz covered zeir face with zeir hands. Ruchs had said some heinously offensive shit in front of Jaz before--to Jaz, too--but Christ, what a putrid man. "Did you kill him?" Jaz asked. Ze lowered zeir hands. "If not, can you go back and kill him for me?"

"Ah," Helen said, smiling. She was quite lovely when she smiled, although still only a fraction as tempting to Jaz as Sasha was. "All right, I see the problem," Helen said to Sasha.

"Like, was I supposed to not want zem desperately?" Sasha asked. Since he was now fully dressed, he went over to where Jaz's trousers had ended up and grabbed them. "I'm only human." He tossed the trousers on zeir bed. "And it was apparently a good strategic decision, although that was really not my concern at first. Or at the end. I could really only think of it for a little bit in the middle, after I realized I could do it but before I got distracted."

"I'm shocked," Helen said, dry again. To Jaz, she said, "I didn't kill him, but I wasn't particularly careful with him, and he has at least one broken bone. I was wondering if I ought to have."

"Right," Sasha said. He sat down on the chair Jaz had previously cuffed him to. Jaz leaned against the wardrobe to step into clean trousers. Sasha said, "There's really only one way out of this situation at this point."

"There is not," Helen said, rolling her eyes again, "but I assume you're pretending going back through the tunnel isn't an option."

"It isn't," Sasha insisted, as Jaz pulled up zeir trousers, grimacing a little at the way the crotch seam rubbed against zeir tender, unsatisfied cock, even through the underwear. "For one thing," Sasha went on, "the EM will get repossessed, and for another, I doubt Jean is in any condition to tunnel right now."

"He's a wreck," Helen confirmed, while Jaz fastened zeir trousers.

"Of course he is, he didn't even get to stage a daring escape or an improbable seduction," Sasha said. "Nor is he a soldier like the rest of us. And that's not even mentioning the mess with Vasquez, which could drag on for years if I can't pay him off and buy the land back. But the EM can't get far enough away from this ship in any kind of reasonable time period without us killing the whole crew, which seems unnecessary."

"Oh, thanks," Jaz said, shrugging into zeir top.

Sasha smiled at zem. "I was hoping you'd rather come with us in that case," he said, "but your Captain Ruchs seems unlikable on top of being an idiot, so now I'm wondering what would happen if we killed him."

"God," Jaz said. Ze did up the front of zeir top as ze thought aloud. "Uh, short term I guess I'd be in command and have a lot of work to catch up on." Long term, ze'd probably end up being someone else's first officer for another year minimum, but at least it wouldn't be Ruchs. "But I don't know how much I could reasonably delay going after you and alerting the Fleet after you killed our captain," ze said, tugging on the collar to get it to untwist, "even if I do have a to-do list of shit that hasn't gotten done on board as long as you are tall."

"Mmm." Sasha nodded thoughtfully. He asked, "How much would it cost to buy you out?"

"You just said you don't have any money," Jaz said. Ze nudged the wardrobe door shut with zeir elbow. "Your ship's going to get repossessed and you can't afford to pay back someone named Vasquez. I can add things up just fine when I'm not actively ignoring my duty in favor of my dick."

"One mercenary contract is not in the same range as a starship," Sasha said, although the look he gave Jaz let zem know he was also still thinking at least a little about zeir dick. "I'm good for it."

Helen sighed. "Sasha," she said.

"I am not," he said, and if he hadn't already called Helen his sister, Jaz would have assumed the familial nature of their relationship from that laconic exchange. Whatever the fuck Helen's Sasha meant, the man protested, "Jaz--Lieutenant Arroyo is the first officer of this ship, and I'm sure ze's very good at zeir job, if only because there's no other way an ambi would stay in a mercenary fleet for long enough to make first officer, and only a little bit because I doubt I would find someone incompetent attractive."

"God," Jaz muttered as ze crossed the room. Ze supposed Helen must have meant something along the lines of, Sasha, please do not hire a mercenary just so you can fuck zem. An hour ago, ze would have said an offer to be some rich weirdo's personal whore wasn't appealing, but now ze couldn't honestly say ze wouldn't consider it, as long as said rich weirdo was Sasha. It would certainly be preferable to being Ruchs's XO.

Sasha turned a little red as he went on, "And I don't see any way out of this scenario for us unless we take the ship, which would be a hell of a lot easier if they were missing their XO and we had an additional combatant."

"Oh," Jaz said. Thinking of it that way, his task seemed a lot less impossible. Ze sat down in the chair across from Sasha, then scooted it back in to the table. Within kicking range, if ze still thought that was a risk. Jaz thought it was somewhat more likely Sasha would climb into zeir lap. "Yeah, that could work," ze said. Ze grinned at him. "And then we might actually get a chance to have sex again."

"Which is a bonus, but not the point," Sasha said, though he was still flushed. "Thank you, Lieutenant. How much?"

"Just to buy out my contract so Tian isn't on my ass for breach," Jaz thought out loud, "I've got about four months left, so that's twelve thousand GSD."

"God, is that all?" Sasha asked. He looked concerned. "Can you really live on three thousand a month?"

Ze laughed. "Okay, yeah, you must be good for it," ze said. Only people with plenty of money got that concerned about how small Jaz's comfortable salary was. "I've got room and board taken care of, and what am I going to be spending money on out here? Half my checks go to media so I have something to talk about with my friends back home."

"I think that's actually more than your commission was worth, after the conversion," Helen murmured.

"Sure, but you're not supposed to live on an officers' salary," Sasha responded, not nearly as quietly. Was that the penta, Jaz wondered, or was he no longer so concerned about being cagey? Jaz had after all named a price for zeir loyalty, which Sasha evidently found low. "How else are you going to keep out the rabble?" he asked Helen, then shook his head. "All right, Lieutenant Arroyo, I would like to hire you to help me take over this ship. Where do you suggest we start?"

"Well," Jaz said, "can you afford to buy out any more of the crew?"

"Sure, but I don't think they'll believe I'm good for it," Sasha said.

Jaz smiled. "No, but Ruchs is very bad at his job," ze said. "I'd say about half the crew would take my word for it."

"Half the crew might be pushing it," Helen said.

"Not if it works," Sasha protested. To Jaz, he said, "Although I will admit I would like to make some profit, so if there's any way to keep those numbers low? While also avoiding bloodshed, if possible. Except for Captain Ruchs, who I believe may shortly be an unavoidable casualty of a mutiny."

"Oh," Jaz said. A mutiny was a good idea. A mutiny could work out for all of them. Ze got to zeir feet again. "All right," ze said, "I know where to start. Where's my--aw, aren't you sweet," Jaz said, seeing zeir clothes laid out on the bed. Ze dumped everything out of zeir trouser pockets and grabbed zeir com. Ze called Nakamura walkie-style, then said, "Hey, Nakamura."

"Lieutenant?" There was a staticky scrape, then Nakamura's voice was much clearer. "What the hell happened?"

"Long story," Jaz said. "Listen, how much time is left on your contract?"

"What? Like six months, why?"

"What's that at your pay grade, like twelve thou GSD?"

"Closer to fourteen," Nakamura said. "Engineering bump."

Sasha waved a hand, as if to say no problem. Jaz rolled zeir eyes. "Follow-up question," ze said, "how would you feel about a small mutiny?"

Nakamura laughed. "Are you kidding?" he asked. "At this point, the paycheck's the only reason I haven't shoved Ruchs out an airlock."

"Great," Jaz said, crossing back to the table where Sasha sat, "welcome aboard, Chief." Ze sat back down and set the com on the table in front of zem. "Can you strip all of Ruchs's overrides and privileges for me? Oh, remember he's got that second command profile connected to the bridge console directly."

"You better have a plan, because I know you don't have the money," Nakamura said. "But also: with pleasure, Lieutenant. Should I strip Nicholson and Vane while I'm at it?"

"If you can reverse it in a pinch, sure," Jaz said. "I don't know if either of them is more loyal to Ruchs than they are to money."

"I think they'd need a bit more assurance than your say-so, but whatever," Nakamura said. Jaz was glad Nakamura didn't need more than zeir say-so, but they had commiserated about being forbidden from doing their jobs enough times Jaz hadn't doubted he'd trust zem. "I'm going to take the precaution of shutting everyone but us out of the security office, if you don't mind."

"Great idea," Jaz said.

Sasha leaned in and said, "Can you fry the electronic locks to force the need for manual override from where you are?"

There was a pause on Nakamura's end of the line. "Who was that, Arroyo?"

"Our new employer," Jaz said.

"Wait a second," Nakamura said over zem, "is that the guy you were supposed to be interrogating? Jesus, Lieutenant. Yeah, that's a good idea, I'll see if--" He interrupted himself with a laugh. "Oh, yeah, no, I can definitely do that from here. I can do that to any fucking lock on the ship, actually. Did you know the fire suppression system's been throwing an alert for months?"

"What?" Jaz yelped. "Why--oh Christ, I assume Ruchs told you not to bother if it was 'just' an alert."

"Of course he did," Nakamura confirmed. "Anyway, he's locked out now. I'm gonna work on the security locks, then Nicholson and Vane. Then the bridge profile, I guess. Unless there's anything else?"

Sasha shrugged. Jaz said, "Not yet. I'll let you know. Arroyo out."

"He was ignoring fire suppression maintenance?" Helen asked once Jaz had turned the com off, clearly disgusted.

"Oh, that's just scratching the surface," Jaz said. "I assume you don't know much about the Tian Fleet, but this is the second-fastest ship in it, and yet here we are on blockade duty. Honestly, I'm surprised Ruchs hasn't gotten anyone killed. I was glad he even did the penta patch test."

"An incompetent piece of shit," Sasha said, frowning in puzzlement. "That's certainly something. One or the other, sure, but both is typically an accomplishment."

"I bet we could get most of the crew on your side even without buying out their contracts," Jaz said, "for the chance to serve under someone else. Ruchs's contract is set up so that when Ruchs dies, ownership of the Stolas reverts to Admiral Tian. So then everyone else can safely claim they were just going along with us mutineers in order to protect Fleet assets."

"It is so sexy that you're smart too," Sasha said, looking at Jaz like they were still alone. God, Jaz wished Helen had taken even slightly longer to break out of the brig and track Sasha down. "Nakamura's the Chief Engineer?"

Jaz nodded. "You've got, what, five people? Four, since someone's got to fly the EM and you said the tunnel pilot wasn't a soldier?" Sasha nodded. Jaz told them, "Four people, plus me and Nakamura, could probably keep the Stolas running long enough to make--where are we going? Not Greenhome, I hope."

"God, no," Sasha said. "The asteroid mining installation."

"That's about two weeks away at an EM's top speed," Jaz said, thinking aloud. "Oh, that's no problem at all," ze realized, "Nakamura and the four of us could keep this ship going for twice that long. There is one of the Fleet's big guns at the mine, though."

"One thing at a time," Sasha said. "We'll have two weeks to figure out why the Stolas is away from her post."

"I can't guarantee it, but I think most everyone would be willing to go along with us once Ruchs is out of the way," Jaz said. "Nicholson and Vane might need to be bribed, but almost everyone else is either self-interested enough to go along with you in order to keep their position with Tian, or else is unhappy enough with Ruchs to turn a blind eye." Ze shook zeir head. "If Lewes hadn't fallen down the bottle, I'd suggest buying him out too, but he's not especially useful right now."

"But he won't cause trouble," Sasha said.

"He started drinking to keep himself from picking fights with Ruchs," Jaz said. "So definitely not."

"Good enough for me," Sasha said.

*

[how do they get the jump on ruchs? idk you decide i've been sitting on this too long. they get the jump on ruchs. i guess it's just jaz and sasha there; helen and nakamura must be handling something else.]

"I'd say it isn't personal," Jaz said, "but it kind of is. I would gladly have done this months ago if I had someone to pay Tian off."

"You backstabbing hermaphrodite," Ruchs hissed, "I knew you wer--" He crumpled to the floor.

"Sorry," Sasha said, holstering his stunner, "I didn't think he'd be saying anything useful."

"Oh, babe, don't apologize," Jaz said. Ze squatted down to go through Ruchs's pockets for anything useful; ze figured the uniform and boots were an acceptable loss. Ze found nothing, so stood up and kicked Ruchs over the airlock's threshold. "Wanna do the honors?" Jaz asked Sasha.

"I think you deserve it more," Sasha said.

Jaz sighed. "I really do," ze said. Ze stepped over to the airlock control panel and started the cycle. As the doors closed, ze said, "I don't think I've ever wanted more to kill someone who wasn't, like, shooting at me."

"I think there's an argument to be made that he has been trying to kill you," Sasha said. "Through negligence, if nothing else."

"That feels a little like a cop-out," Jaz said. The airlock began to depressurize. "Although it's not exactly wrong. Fuck, I can't believe he was ignoring fire suppression alerts."

"That is a dangerous level of negligence," Sasha said. "I'm guessing he grew up planetside? I literally can't believe a station would let someone like that exist."

"Yeah, some dinky little planet on the other side of Earth," Jaz said. "I want to say it was one of the religious settlements? But maybe he was just a piece of shit."

"He was definitely a piece of shit," Sasha said. "Whether or not he was raised by other pieces of shit isn't relevant when someone's in command, and therefore responsible for the safety of his crew. I won't be shedding any tears for him."

"God, no," Jaz said. The airlock beeped to indicate it was depressurized. Jaz pressed the button to blow the hatch. "May he rot in hell, or at least the vacuum of space."

"Amen," Sasha said.

*

"Aw, no, Lieutenant," Carrasco said, "you really threw us under the bus to get laid?"

"No," Jaz said, "because you're not under the bus. See, what just happened was that Nakamura and I mutinied after sustained insults to our competence, and once Captain Ruchs was dead, the rest of you acted to protect Fleet assets, i.e. yourselves and the ship, by following orders until such time as we and our new employer vacated the Stolas."

"Which he's really going to do," Yang said doubtfully.

"I can barely afford to keep the EM going," Sasha said, "I don't need an entire corvette to maintain. Once I've made my delivery and gotten safely away, you'll be free to contact Admiral Tian and let him know what happened. Provided, of course, you don't interfere with my business before then."

"I would hate to have to shoot any of you," Jaz said. "So you keep your hands off the emergency beacons and keep the ship running until Mister--" Ze looked at Sasha. He told zem his full name when ze asked, but ze couldn't remember what it was. Ze knew Sasha was somehow a nickname for Alex, and that was it.

"Patrero," he supplied.

Ze looked back at the crew. "Until Mister Patrero is clear," Jaz said.

"Fine," Carrasco said, crossing her arms over her chest. "So you carefully maneuvered all of us safely out of the path of the bus, except for Ruchs, to get laid?"

Jaz shrugged. "Technically I got laid first and then suborned," ze said. "If that helps."

"Honestly, it kind of does," Carrasco said. She looked to Sasha. "You can really afford to buy out their contracts?"

"Compared to the extortionate amount I'm on the hook for with the EM, it's pocket change," Sasha said. "Although as I told Lieutenant Arroyo, I would like to make a profit on this trip, so I can hardly afford to buy you all out."

Yang said, "That would probably fuck up our future chances with Tian anyway. Arroyo and Nakamura might have the kind of skills that would let them join another fleet, but without a reference from Admiral Tian, I'm screwed."

"Then it sounds like Lieutenant Arroyo's suggested course of action works out for the best for all of us," Sasha said. "If you all agree, I would be happy to let you return to your duties."

There were nods and murmurs of agreement all around. No one saluted or anything, but most of them nodded to Jaz or Sasha before wandering away.

"God, finally," Sasha said when the three of them were alone. "I really thought getting a dangerously incompetent commanding officer out of the way would take less time doing it the underhanded way."

"I'm not sure how underhanded that was," Jaz said. "I mean, as mutinies go."

"Compared to leapfrogging several layers of military authority and taking my concerns directly to the overall commander," Sasha said, "I think arranging a mutiny at all is pretty underhanded."

"What the hell kind of life have you been living?" Jaz asked.

"It was easier than it sounds," Helen told zem. "Since his parents raised said commander."

"Theoretically, any sufficiently motivated officer could have arranged an audience," Sasha said. "Although I suppose it would take most people longer than a few days."

"If anyone else on that base your rank or below wanted to bring it to him, they would have been waiting for weeks," Helen said. "And everyone knows it, which is why you lost your commission."

"People were literally dying," Sasha protested. "I mean, the colonel had at least two hundred men under his command at any time, not just fourteen, so I suppose Ruchs could have gotten there with a larger command."

"I'm truly surprised no one got literally burned by the combination of a questionable fire suppression system and an unstocked med bay," Jaz said. "Statistically, if we had seen literally any action during this war, there would have been casualties."

"I'm sure," Sasha said. "Colonel Galkin wasn't helped by the weather conditions around the base. It's almost as though safety protocols are pointless right up until they're critical." He rolled his eyes. "Anyway, he's not a problem anymore and we have two weeks to figure out what we're going to say to the Fleet ship at Brippe, so I think now would be an excellent time to have sex." He pretended to glare at Helen. "No more interruptions," he said.

"I can't promise that," Helen said, "but I'll do my best to deal with any emergencies myself now that I know Lieutenant Arroyo is incapable of hurting you as long as you call zem sexy enough times."

"I am wounded," Jaz said, laying both hands over zeir heart. "Thank God we have Lewes inventorying the medbay!"

Helen rolled her eyes and shooed them away.

Sasha took Jaz's hand and pulled zem through the ship, to Jaz's room. He was nearly running, which made Jaz laugh.

Then, of course, when they got there he had to wait while Jaz manually unlocked zeir door, because fixing the broken lock on Jaz's personal quarters was not high on the list of priorities for Nakamura and Dimitri.

As Jaz closed the door behind them, ze started to ask, "So should we just pick up where we left off?" but only got a few syllables in before Sasha pressed zem back against the wall and started yanking at Jaz's top. Ze laughed. "I guess that answers that question," ze said.

Sasha pulled open the front of Jaz's shirt and immediately cupped zeir breasts with both hands. He looked up at zem and said, "I want you to know that just because the penta wore off I wasn't thinking any less about how incredibly sexy you are." He turned his head to the side, kissing the inside of each of Jaz's breasts. "In fact, I'm not sure I can convey how fucking hot you were, spinning random bits of information into a coherent plot and telling people exactly what they needed to hear."

"Some people might think that makes me duplicitous and manipulative," Jaz said. Ze doubted that was the case here, since Sasha was still fondling zeir breasts like it was all he wished for.

"Darling," Sasha said, gazing up at zem fervently, "you obviously could have taken over this ship and disposed of Ruchs at any point up until now, and you didn't because you didn't have a reason to. And you're so good at it, God, you knew how to do everything I needed you to!"

"Ohh." Jaz grinned. "You have a competence kink, huh? Watching me be good at my job got you all hot and bothered?"

"I have been hot and bothered since I laid eyes on you," Sasha said. He squeezed zeir breasts. "Watching you be phenomenal at your job nearly drove me insane."

Jaz laughed again. Ze pushed him away and started walking towards the bed. Ze reached back to take off zeir bra as ze went, and dropped it on the floor. When ze reached the bed, ze kicked off zeir boots, then swept the dirty clothes from earlier off the bed again. Ze took zeir com out of zeir pocket, set it on the bedside table, and then shimmied out of zeir trousers and underwear. When ze turned around, Sasha was at the foot of the bed, naked except for his socks and leg brace.

"God," Jaz said. "What was it you said earlier? I want to fuck you until neither of us can stand."

Sasha grinned at zem. As he sat down on the bed to start taking off his leg brace, he gestured to himself and said, "This is what does it for you? Pervert."

"Yep," Jaz agreed. "Do you want help with that or are you good?"

"Oh, would you?" he asked, relieved. "It helps when I have to do a lot of walking or standing, but it's such a chore to take off. Especially since this hip doesn't work right."

"Of course," Jaz said, going to zeir knees in front of him. "I'd like to get to do more of the undressing at some point, so we may as well start here. What do you need?"

"The two ankle straps, one's sort of a stirrup and the other--yes, that one," Sasha said. "Mostly I need help pulling it off."

"Luckily, I am very experienced in the art of pulling things off," Jaz said. Ze wrapped zeir hands around the most solid part of the bottom of the brace. "You ready?"

"Go ahead," Sasha said. "Oh, but watch out for the sock getting caught and bunching up."

"Well, obviously," Jaz said. "Did I not just say I was very experienced at this?" Ze eased the brace down his leg and over his foot. His sock did attempt to make trouble, but Jaz pushed it back out of the way. "Socks too?"

"Since you're offering," Sasha said, although he seemed embarrassed.

"You good?" Jaz asked as ze tugged his socks down.

"No one but my family and medical professionals have ever helped me with a brace or taken my socks off," Sasha said. Jaz eased off the sock on the leg that hadn't had the brace, while Sasha admitted, "I didn't expect it to feel more intimate than literally being inside you."

"I mean, it's not exactly part of my usual foreplay roster," Jaz said. Ze laid the sock on top of the leg brace, then moved on to the other sock. "But like Mama always said, don't commit a mutiny with someone you wouldn't trust to take your socks off." Sasha rolled his eyes at zem, grinning as though he couldn't help himself. Jaz asked, "Would you like scritchies now that your feet are free, or are you too tender after having the brace on all day?"

"It should be illegal to be sexy while using the word 'scritchies'," Sasha said. "Please."

"I figured it was like a bra or corset," Jaz said, running zeir nails over the indentations and red marks from where different parts of the brace and sock pressed into Sasha's leg, "but it's worth asking in case you wouldn't like it. I tell you, after a lifetime of wearing sandals, I discovered a new hell in the form of 'socks that fit but are a little too tight in the cuff after you've been wearing them a while'. Terrible things."

"How you have suffered," Sasha said, eyes drifting shut in contentment. "Mm, I don't wish to imply I'm not eager to have sex with you, but that feels damn nice."

"Good," Jaz said, kissing one of his knees. "When I'm done here, I thought maybe I'd get a condom and suck you until you're hard enough to fuck me again."

"God," Sasha groaned. "I would like to reiterate what I said earlier, about you being perfect. But you know it's not going to take very long."

"I should hope not," Jaz said. Ze kissed his other knee. "You'll just have to let me suck you off some more later."

"I suppose that's a sacrifice I can make," Sasha said.

[scene transitions are for real fics okay; jaz barely gets to suck him off and then is like hhhh okay how do we do this, let's go]

"I will admit, it's usually easier on my joints to be on the bottom," Sasha said.

"See, you should've been fucking ambis this whole time, then," ze said. "Because if we're getting penetrated, it's usually better to be riding someone. That way we can get stimulation on our cocks at the same time we've got something in our cunts."

"Yes, I'm sure anyone else would have trusted that reasoning," Sasha said. "Excuse me, beautiful ambi, would you be interested in sex? Only, from a purely logistical standpoint--"

Jaz laughed. Ze swung one leg over him, lining up so he'd slide right into zem. Ze finally sank down onto Sasha's cock for the second time in too many hours. Once again, they both groaned.

"You feel so good," Sasha breathed. "And you're so, so sexy."

"I wish I could spend the rest of my life with your cock inside me," Jaz said.

Sasha huffed a laugh. "You do not," he said.

"My brain doesn't," Jaz said. "Because it would be inconvenient. My cunt thinks it sounds like a great idea." Ze shifted zeir hips, grinding around in a circle.

"Mm, I don't think my cock would have any objections," Sasha said, eyes drifting shut. "But yes, it might be inconvenient." He ran his hands down and back up Jaz's thighs. "You are so hot I don't understand how you can possibly have been going without sex."

"Have you seen anyone else on this crew worth fucking?" Jaz asked. "Nakamura's only into men and Carrasco's only into women. I wouldn't even bother with anyone else."

Sasha laughed again. "Still," he said.

Jaz ran zeir hands over his chest. Ze'd immediately hated having hairy tits of zeir own, and gotten those follicles zapped so it wouldn't be an issue, but ze did like them on other people. Sasha's chest hair was thick and soft. Ze told him, "You'll just have to make sure I don't go neglected again."

"It would be a privilege and a joy," Sasha breathed. He slid one hand over Jaz's leg to brush his fingers against zeir cock. Jaz shuddered, and involuntarily jerked forward, dragging Sasha's cock most of the way out of zem. "God, Jaz," Sasha said. "I hope you're as close as I am."

Jaz chuckled. "Are you kidding," ze said, "I spent that whole mutiny feeling like my pants were too tight. I'll be surprised if I last five minutes."

"Oh, good," Sasha said.

Once Jaz started moving, neither of them lasted five minutes. Honestly, they might not have lasted three, but Jaz could hardly keep track of time when ze was bouncing on Sasha's cock and fucking up into his hand every time ze pulled back.

"On the plus side," Sasha said, around Jaz's breasts, because ze had slumped over on top of him when ze came, "I don't think it'll take me long to recover." He nuzzled zeir breasts. "Especially like this."

"I wonder," Jaz murmured, "if you'd be such a boob man if you weren't chest-high to most people."

"I couldn't say," he said. He kissed the breast closest to him. "I do also think you have a wonderful ass. And a pretty cock. As well as a breathtaking face."

"Yet it's my tits you're cuddling," Jaz said.

"You chose the position, darling," Sasha said. "As I recall, I also suggested you might sit on my face or fuck me in the ass." He paused. "I admit I'm glad you didn't take me up on that latter offer. I think I'd rather experience that for the first time not drugged."

"You've never bottomed?" Jaz asked.

"Ah, no," Sasha said. "The other planet I spend the most time on is Kavagor."

"Ohhh," Jaz said. "Sasha is short for Alexander. That makes sense." After a pause to think about it, ze said, "Then it's also Kavagorans who think mouths and throats are immune from disease."

"It is, yes," Sasha said.

"You know, it's funny that your name is Patrero, then," Jaz said. "Since Delara Patrero was the big hero of the--wait," ze interrupted zemself, "are you related to her?"

"She's my mother," Sasha said.

"Wow," Jaz said. "Must be interesting, growing up with a war hero for a parent. Although maybe not, if you were on Kavagor half the time. They must have more war heroes, since they have more wars."

"Mm," Sasha said. "I think mostly the heroes get bigger, not more frequent."

"I guess it's more impressive if you hero two or more wars," Jaz said. "Plus, you just have more experience. Hang on," ze said, pushing zemself up to get a good look at him, "Delara Patrero didn't have a kid when she ran off to Kavagor. Sasha, how old are you?"

"Uh," he said. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, God, please tell me you're over eighteen," Jaz said. He looked like an adult, but then, a bone disorder would affect his appearance. And it was probably painful, and everyone knew pain could age you.

Sasha snorted. "Of course I'm over eighteen," he said. "Could I have bought a spaceship if I wasn't?"

"Right," Jaz said, relaxing. Not in Gnillesian space, that was for sure. "So how old are you?"

"Twenty-three," he said, looking a little sheepish.

"Oh my god," Jaz moaned, collapsing back onto him, "I was seduced by a child."

"Wh--how old are you?" Sasha asked. "You can't even be in your thirties."

"No," Jaz admitted. "But I definitely thought you were my age, at least."

"I'm so sorry to be seven or fewer years younger than expected," Sasha said. "What a terrible disparity."

Bellsbridge would not have been Veredi's first choice of location, but taking possession of a manor and all its associated privileges was worth the trade-offs. Veredi had no family to pull strings or pay for sponsorship into the Mage's Guild. He had no doubt he was capable of learning magic--he was an elf, for fuck's sake--but when things like "shelter" and "clothing" were difficult to count on, getting even a provisional foothold in the Mage's Guild was impossible. But gentry were allowed automatic access to the Mage's Guild in human and orc lands, because they were the people who bought and sold slaves.

Bellsbridge was a human city, with a large and busy slave market. As the lord of Hazelfield Manor, Veredi would be gentry. He could join the Mage's Guild. He would almost certainly have to enter the slave trade to do it, but that had its own appeal. Any high-minded principles Veredi held in a discussion of philosophy did not extend far enough to keep him from taking advantage of power structures when he could pull it off.

The journey from the Fae Woods to Bellsbridge was only about a week on foot, although it took Veredi slightly longer because he was traveling at night and avoiding other people. He happened to know bandits preyed on lone travelers around these parts, thank you very much, and no other dishonest person of elven ancestry was going to take possession of his ill-gotten manor. As a dark elf, Veredi had better night vision than humans, noon elves, or orcs, so all he had to do was keep his eye out for beastfolk and stay away from well-lit areas.

(Well, technically, he also had to watch for gnomes and dwarves, who had comparable night sight to dark elves, but the Fae Woods was known to have underground passages used by the shorter peoples, which were safer to travel. Most of the bandits didn't fit down there, for one thing, while gnomes were good at staying out of sight and dwarves tended to keep to themselves. So Veredi mostly didn't concern himself with watching for gnomes or dwarves.)

He was about halfway to Bellsbridge when he literally bumped into another dark elf, sneaking through the brush next to the road instead of using the road proper.

The other elf was also a man, with bluer skin than Veredi, and pale eyes. He was scruffy and dirty, and looked as if he had been having a rough time finding food. He fumbled a dull, rusty knife out of his belt and attempted to threaten Veredi with it.

Veredi had been honed as a pickpocket and rogue on the streets of Inysa-Vehona, then kept himself alive through multiple gangs of bandits squabbling over territory in the Fae Woods. He plucked the disgraceful knife right out of the other elf's hands. "Put that away," he said. "Honestly, you're not even going to try and beg first?"

"You don't look kind," the other elf said bluntly, and Veredi laughed.

"Good call," Veredi said with a grin. He examined his purloined knife. It hadn't been very good even when it was new and sharp, and it looked like a hunting knife rather than a weapon. He considered the scruffy man standing before him, who was attempting to stand up straight, though he still came up shorter than Veredi. He was staring sullenly at Veredi, expecting nothing good but not quite resigned to it. An idea Veredi had been turning over in his mind, about how he might be able to manage a manor and a lordship, solidified into a plan. Veredi said, "But as it happens, I could use a servant."

The other elf grimaced. "And I'm to believe you're recruiting muggers in the dead of night for that position?"

"You couldn't mug me if your life depended on it," Veredi said, waving the shoddy knife around in the air. "You're the first other dark elf I've met since the position became available, and I have reason to want a fellow countryman in my employ." It had only been one of several ideas Veredi had been turning over, but part of Veredi's success in his life of crime was his flexibility; plan for several options and use whichever one best suited the opportunities he was presented. A spiritual person might call it a sign that Veredi and this elf had bumped into each other beside the road.

"You don't look rich enough to be talking like gentry," the other elf said after a moment. "What kind of servant?"

Veredi grinned again. "Appearances can be deceiving," he said. "I'm afraid my venture is very immature yet, but I intend to go into slave-trading, and I can hardly do that by myself." The other elf snorted and crossed his arms, looking skeptical. Fair enough, Veredi thought, but inconvenient at the moment. "Look," Veredi said, swinging his bag around so he could pull out the packet of dried meat he had left from when he robbed the messenger with the deed. "I'm heading to Bellsbridge, I'll feed you for the journey, and when we get there, I shall take possession of a manor house and offer you a real job." He held out the shoddy knife and the packet of dried meat, taking a small gamble that this man was hungry enough to choose the sure thing. "What have you got to lose?"

The other elf stared at the packet of dried meat in Veredi's hand for a few moments. "I suppose I could go to Bellsbridge," he said. "Two's safer than one on the road." He frowned up at Veredi. "I'm not fucking you," he said warningly.

"I'm sure I'll live," Veredi said.

The other elf said his name was Aelrak, and the farm he had worked on was raided. The only one of the other farmers he liked wound up dead, so he took the opportunity to flee northward. After a little nudging, and the last skin of Veredi's good wine, Aelrak admitted that he knew how to read, write, and keep books and inventory.

"Then you'd be an excellent assistant for a gentleman in need," Veredi said. He would have been able to find a use for Aelrak no matter what his skills, he was sure, but keeping books and inventory was quite the boon.

"I don't see why you'd need another dark elf for that," Aelrak grumbled. "I don't know any magic."

"You'll see," Veredi said. "Once I've got the manor in my hands, I'll tell you all about it."

"You've got the least trustworthy face I've ever seen," Aelrak said. "But I'll take the food and company anyway."

They stopped near a stream at daybreak, where Veredi made Aelrak wash up. Aelrak grumbled and accused him of being a pervert, which was unfair since he had no way to know he was right. Afterwards, he suffered through Veredi combing and braiding his hair, until he began to relax.

Veredi was a dusky lavender color, with dark gray hair. His eyes were bright red, but he had classically elven features otherwise. He was pretty enough that he had sometimes gotten his toehold in a new gang by being a higher-up's boytoy. He suspected he was part noon elf, and was a little concerned any progeny of his wouldn't be more specifically dark-elfy than generically elfy.

Aelrak, on the other hand, had blue black hair to go with his dark periwinkle skin, and rugged enough features that Veredi doubted anyone ever called him pretty. He was still built leanly, but not as willowy as Veredi himself was. Between the two of them, they could probably manage very dark-elfy elves.

Because the best way to make it as a slave trader as far as Veredi could tell was actually to knock up any women you could get your hands on, put those babies in one of the pocket dimensions the Mage's Guild leased access to for a steep fee, then once those slaves were old enough, breed them as well, and sell them off once the babies were born. With just one father, Veredi would have to buy or capture new slaves on a regular basis to keep inbreeding from being a problem, but with two fathers, they'd be able to have a much more stable breeding pool. Plus, the children would be more clearly dark elves, which were in even more demand as slaves than noon elves, particularly for humans and dwarves, whose cultural memory still hung onto the image of domineering dark elf matriarchs from the Irstafflysi Empire. They couldn't get enough of bossing around dark elves.

Aelrak said, "I meant it when I said I'm not gonna fuck you."

Veredi realized he had been staring at Aelrak thoughtfully for some time now, Aelrak's hair braided but Veredi's fingers still lingering in his hair. Veredi pulled his hands back. "That's fine," he said. "I don't need you to. As long as you don't mind fucking female slaves to get them pregnant."

Aelrak looked over his shoulder and blinked at him. Then he said, "Oh, that's why you wanted another dark elf."

"It'll take a while to get going," Veredi said. "But yes, eventually I'd want you knocking up my daughters while I knock up yours."

Aelrak nodded. "Well, you sure think like one of the bastards already," he said. "I hope you really do have a manor waiting in Bellsbridge. Otherwise, you're just a sick fuck."

Veredi laughed.

---

The manor could have been in worse shape. There was a complicated legal story behind the hows and whys of it ending up in Veredi's hands that had been going on long enough that the solicitor didn't really do anything to verify Veredi's identity. The solicitor handed over a minuscule amount of gold which was all that was left of the estate besides Hazelfield Manor, told Veredi where the Slaver's Guild and the Mages' Guild were located, then bade him farewell.

Aelrak began immediately by clearing out the manor's kitchen and privy. Veredi went around the other rooms, throwing open all the windows he could access to let in light and air, then went to the kitchen to find where Aelrak wound up.

Aelrak had in that time somehow already found an old, brittle stack of note paper and started an inventory of what was in the house. All the furnishings and equipment was worth considerably more than the pittance of gold the solicitor had handed Veredi, and yet it was still very little for a gentleman's manor.

"I don't know how your uncle or whoever lived," Aelrak said, leaning on the battered but sturdy table in the kitchen, "but there's only two rooms upstairs and one big dormitory downstairs. I looked in the basement in case there was a root cellar or a wine cellar or something, and it looks like a fucking dungeon. Seven decent mattresses left in the whole place, but there's a pillory, diagonal cross, and wooden horse in the basement." He shook his head, then went on, "The garden's overgrown, but at least some of it's edible. There's a decent set of cookware, though some of it's in bad shape, and all the china's gone. You've got five tin cups and a handful of wooden skewers."

Veredi nodded. "I said it would take a while to get going," he said. "I think I've got enough to get one or two slaves, but they won't be anything special."

Aelrak shrugged. "Another set of hands would be nice," he said, "but more than that might be pushing it, in terms of mouths to feed." He looked at Veredi and raised his eyebrows. "Unless you've got another miraculous asset to cash in somewhere."

"One miracle is all I've got," Veredi said. He suspected Aelrak had noticed how little verification the solicitor required to hand the manor over to Veredi. He was pretty sharp when he wasn't stupid with hunger, after all. Veredi told him, "I'll see if they've got anyone at the market with useful skills for stretching the food supply or bringing in cash."

---

Veredi had never been inside a Slaver's Guild before. It was nicer than he expected, and when he introduced himself as the new lord of Hazelfield Manor, Veredi was ushered into an even nicer office to meet with a stunning little gnome woman. She was positively stacked, and considering she was half Veredi's height, he had an excellent view down her top. She welcomed Veredi to Bellsbridge, then showed him around the guildhall and the slave market. When he mentioned he was looking for one or two additional hands to get the place up and running again, she led him past the showroom of lovely, expensive slaves destined for bedchambers or decorating a mage's workroom to a room with five ordinary-looking slaves in it.

Veredi allowed himself to take his time looking at the slaves. Two of them were really too expensive to be viable, but three of them were close enough in price that he had to seriously consider the pros and cons of each one.

The first was an adult human man with a noticeable but somewhat flattering scar across his lips. He was strong, peppered with little scars and blemishes that spoke to a life doing dangerous physical labor, but he responded to direction slowly and sullenly. Clearly, he had only recently been branded, or else his last master had been far too lenient. Veredi was sympathetic, but it would be a problem in practice.

The second was an adult elven woman, old enough that her face was lined and her breasts beginning to droop. Surely an older elf was skilled enough to merit a higher price. Veredi said as much to his gnomish guide, at which point she revealed that this particular slave had been the victim of a magical accident, leaving her both barren and resistant to magic. Either of those might not have been an obstacle, but both was something of a problem, especially in an elf.

The third was a plain young human girl, barely an adult. Despite being thin, she had a belly pooch, and her breasts didn't even stick out as much as it did. But she was healthy and obedient, an orphan who had surrendered herself to the slave market rather than attempt to make a living on the street. She wasn't a virgin, but she knew how to read, write, and do sums thanks to the teacher who served the orphanage. She had a nice voice, when Veredi asked what her name was. He bought her, and after a few minutes to arrange the paperwork and provide her with one change of clothes, Veredi was on his way back to the manor with his first slave.

Fara the slave girl was quiet and obedient, which was a little strange after days of having Aelrak grumble and talk back to Veredi. When Veredi introduced her to Aelrak, Aelrak asked if she had grown up around Bellsbridge, and when she said yes, asked if she knew what might be safely eaten out of the garden. When she said yes to that as well, Aelrak sent her out to cut back the garden and forage what she could.

"Not much to look at," he muttered to Veredi when she was gone.

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder," Veredi said, "and in the spellcraft of the mage. Besides, pretty costs extra," he added.

"True enough," Aelrak said. "At least she knows what's edible around here."

"And she was educated at the orphanage," Veredi said. "I don't know how complicated they bother with around here, but the broker said she could read, write, and do sums. So hopefully you won't have to double-check the prices of anything she buys or sells."

"We'll see," Aelrak said.

Veredi headed back out to see if he could get an audience with the Mages' Guild.

---

The director of the local Mages' Guild outpost was a disagreeable old human man who at first took Veredi for his new assistant. It rather got the meeting off on the wrong foot, and Veredi barely managed to weasel out of him a promise to consider Veredi's application if he acquired a pretty, young, well-trained elven girl to be the man's overdue assistant.

Veredi suspected that even if he could find a suitable slave at the market, he wouldn't be able to afford her. Feeding and supplying three people didn't take much, but Veredi didn't have much at the moment, and no immediate way to make more money.

He dropped by the brothel, to see if he might at least be able to whore Fara out for a little income, only for the madam to tell him she wasn't interested in dealing with unproven upstarts, and to come back when he either joined the Mages' Guild for real, or could bring her a big-titted catgirl to replace the one that just got bought.

Well, it was a good thing Veredi had already been planning to go into slave-trading, because it certainly seemed like the only thing anyone wanted from the new Lord Hazelfield.

But there was more than one way to acquire slaves. It would have been unspeakably risky when he was a bandit, and very probably not worth it with the middle-men, but Veredi was now himself a middle-man. Capturing someone wouldn't help his reputation, unless they were a bandit, and they certainly wouldn't be well-behaved. Especially since slave brands were a guild secret, so Veredi would not have the benefit of magical compulsion to keep a freshly-enslaved person in line. But even a wild slave that needed breaking was a resource he could leverage.

Veredi stopped by the market on his way home, just to check the prices so he knew what he was working with. A pair of shackles and a length of nice rope wasn't horribly expensive, and they'd be reusable once he had them.

He went back to the manor to take a look at the dungeon.

---

Veredi had never technically whored himself out, and never technically been raped. For what either of those were worth as a street kid and Fae Woods bandit, which wasn't much. It was a shame it was beneath the dignity of the gentry of Bellsbridge to suck and fuck for money, because it seemed to Veredi that his best asset outside Hazelfield Manor itself was his pretty face. Being able to earn some gold on his knees would have helped a great deal with his cash-flow problem.

He couldn't claim he had never done the raping. As the boytoy of various well-placed bandits in a number of different bandit gangs, Veredi had participated in a handful of gang rapes, which were inevitably less fun than they sounded, and been more immediately responsible for a few rapes at the behest of his partners. And there was the time as an adolescent Veredi realized one of the other street kids was drunk, helped her get to a more private location, then rubbed his cock off on her tits after she passed out. He felt worse about that one than it probably deserved, considering, because while rape was a known and accepted risk of engaging with bandits, it was less so from someone that street kid knew and sort of trusted being too horny to make good choices. At least it should have been less so; Veredi had chased people off for equivalent offenses, on the streets. He ought to have known better, or felt better, but at that moment with that erection, he had not.

Legally speaking, nothing the new Lord Veredi of Hazelfield Manor did to a slave he owned counted as rape. Ethically speaking, Veredi still knew the difference between someone who didn't have a choice and someone who wouldn't do something unless they had to. Maybe that distinction seemed petty and pointlessly fine to someone who'd grown up with good choices, but Veredi had held his nose and girded his loins to do unpleasant things often enough to know it still usually felt better than no choice at all. But Veredi also knew he was pretty and able to ingratiate himself with people; he wouldn't have to force anyone he didn't want to force.

He was going to have to figure out how Aelrak felt about it. It would be cheaper and easier if Aelrak was willing to help break in captives too; otherwise he'd have to find or buy himself a sadist at some point. Another sadist, that was, because despite Veredi's past using his pretty face to gain what advantages he could, just looking at the dungeon equipment and thinking how to best break the will of some former bandit without the benefit of magic was making Veredi's dick hard. He supposed he had, after all, rubbed off on that drunk friend's tits.

As Aelrak said, the dungeon equipment was in remarkably good shape. Veredi thought there might have been some kind of protective charm laid on either the space or the equipment. It obviously didn't extend to the cells; they were in rough shape, and none of the mattresses in them had been salvageable. But two of the cells were still intact and sturdy enough to hold someone.

Veredi went upstairs to track down Aelrak once again.

---

Aelrak shamelessly pressed Veredi into service preparing dinner and doing laundry. Veredi let it happen, because the gods knew the manor wouldn't be livable if he didn't help. As they put clean bedding on the bed that would be Veredi's, Veredi told Aelrak, "I'd like to move two of the good mattresses down into the dungeon."

"Sure, me and the girl will do that tomorrow," Aelrak said. Then he looked up at Veredi, frowning. "Even with her help, I don't know if we could feed two prisoners."

"I'd rather have an extra cell just in case," Veredi said. He grinned at Aelrak. "So I've got somewhere to put you if you cause trouble."

Aelrak just snorted. "Yeah, for about twenty minutes before you realize you need someone to run your household," he said. Veredi was glad to hear he was taking it for granted that he was staying. Aelrak took a step back from the bed and looked at it. It was very small in the large master bedroom. The room yawned empty around it, despite the other furniture. This room was clearly intended to have a palatial bed, but Veredi was going to make do for a while with the same narrow mattress as his servants. "All right," Aelrak said, "let's do the dorm next."

The dormitory was also a large room with too few furnishings. Most of the bed frames were all right, but curtains and bedding had been eaten by moths or mice, so the salvageable mattresses were crowded to one side of the room. They only bothered to make up two--one for Aelrak and one for Fara--before heading back to the kitchen for supper.

Fara was in the kitchen, washing and cutting the additional foods she'd found. The front and bottom of her plain dress were stained with multiple colors. "I apologize for the mess, sir," she said, sort of between Aelrak and Veredi. "I could not find a usable basket. There is more food still on the grounds, but this should be enough to augment tonight's supper, I hope."

Veredi smiled at her. "Good job," he said.

"I'll see about getting you a basket or an apron or something," Aelrak said. He looked through her offerings. "All this was in the garden?"

"Yes, sir," Fara said. "I think the kitchen garden used to be extensive."

"That's good news," Aelrak said. "Well done." She seemed more pleased with the praise from Aelrak than from Veredi, which was amusing and probably fair.

After supper, Fara stopped Veredi in the main hall. She looked at the floor as she asked, "When would you like me to come to your room?"

Despite how excited the thought of raping a captured bandit into compliance had made him earlier, Veredi was less than thrilled with the idea of taking this quiet girl just because he owned her. He asked, "Fara, do you want to have sex with me?"

She hesitated, which was answer enough even before she admitted, her gaze still on the floor at Veredi's feet, "Not especially, Master."

"Then please don't worry about it," Veredi said. "I need a household servant a lot more than I need someone to screw."

"Yes, Master," Fara said, dipping her head, audibly relieved.

"Why don't you take the first bath?" Veredi suggested. "Then fill it again for us once you're done."

"Yes, Master," she said again before heading off to the bath chamber.

The worst part of living in the Fae Woods rather than the streets of Inysa-Vehona was the lack of bathing facilities. A dip in a cold river had nothing on even the shoddiest public bath-house in an elven city. Bellsbridge had no public bath-houses apart from one attached to a brothel, but Hazelfield Manor had indoor bathing facilities of its own. They weren't especially fancy or spacious, but there was running water and a magically-heated soaking tub big enough to fit perhaps five at a time if you squeezed, so it was more than good enough for their current needs.

While Fara was occupied with the bath, Veredi doubled back to the kitchen to speak with Aelrak. They had cleaned up together as a household, but Aelrak had more notes or lists or whatever to fill out, as he plotted what the manor would need in order to grow.

"What now?" Aelrak asked, only glancing up from his scraps of paper at Veredi.

Veredi sat back down in the chair he'd used at supper. "Now that it's clear I can offer you a legitimate job," he said, "I would like to clarify some things."

"I would still prefer not to fuck you," Aelrak said.

"I still don't really care," Veredi said, "although the repetition is growing hurtful." Aelrak snorted. Veredi went on, "Do you have a problem with the idea of fucking slaves with the intention of knocking them up?"

Aelrak shrugged. "I think it's probably wrong, but I wouldn't let it stop me from getting my dick wet," he said. Veredi had suspected as much, from the casual way he had called Veredi a sick fuck before. "Especially if you'd just fuck 'em yourself or get another guy to do it. At least I know I won't hurt them."

Veredi hummed an acknowledgement. "Then I suppose you wouldn't be interested in breaking any bandits I captured and brought back to the dungeon," he said.

Aelrak paused in his writing, his cheeks turning dark purple. "I didn't say that," he said. "A girl like Fara, who's already resigned to being a slave, is one thing." That was part of it for Veredi as well; not only would Fara not fight back, she didn't think she had any right to. It seemed a lot more violating that way. Aelrak asked, "You're thinking of breaking fresh ones?"

"It's the most cost-effective option," Veredi said. "Assuming we can keep scraping up enough food to feed three or four, which it seems might be doable?" Aelrak nodded. Veredi went on, "They won't let me into the Mages' Guild without bringing the director a slave, and the madam at the brothel won't deal with me as an independent agent--unless I can bring her a catgirl to replace the one she just lost--and trying to buy and sell on a fast turnaround, without money to throw around, is a fool's errand." He shook his head. "I can afford to invest in rope and shackles, since that's less than a decent slave, and then it's just a matter of stalking smaller bandit gangs and picking off the prettiest one. Break them, either sell them or use them to get into the Mages' Guild, then we can do it again but faster."

Aelrak's pale eyes were quite pretty, in an unnerving way. He had them wide and fixed on Veredi, his dark flush only emphasizing their light color more. "And I would be...allowed to do whatever I want with the prisoners?" Veredi wondered what appetites were hidden behind that gruff exterior. "Even though I'm only a servant?"

"Aelrak, please," Veredi said, flapping one hand at him. "You're my right-hand man. My steward! My butler! Take your pick! Of course you'd have run of the dungeon if you want. It would only help me. And you've already proven I can trust you."

"Have I?" Aelrak asked, frowning a little.

"You didn't run away or kill me on the way here," Veredi said, "and you're already arranging my household. Obviously I can trust you." This was half a good point and half complete bullshit, but knowing Aelrak found both the breeding plan and the breaking plan appealing meant Veredi was sure he'd let himself be convinced. The fact he thought it was wrong but was still turned on by it only ensured Aelrak would commit hard when he did.

After a moment, Aelrak said, "I want a private room. Obviously not right now, but soon. In the next year, say."

"That sounds reasonable," Veredi said. He suspected that wouldn't stop most masters from chafing at such a demand. Veredi, however, did not intend to behave like a proud idiot. He suggested, "How about making that the next big goal, after joining the Mages' Guild?"

okay we open with a standard sex pollen + trapped somewhere or whatever scenario with lqg the one hit (presumably bc he took a blow for sqq or lbh) and sqq is like oh well um yes i do know the cure but also um. and both lbh and lqg are like just spit it out and sqq is like aaaa he needs to...finish...in someone else's body

and lbh just looks at lqg and is like I FUCKING DARE YOU TO SAY SOMETHING and lqg is just like. well it would be fine if i died but i'm not really into taking down sqq with me...or lbh i guess but mostly sqq...and lbh is like shizun when you say in someone else's body, how "inside" are we talking

and sqq is like. well in the novel it was definitely a creampie but that was only after curing the curse with oral sex so he's like due to the magic mumbo jumbo, idk if a hand would work but a mouth definitely would? and lbh is like. fine, i'll do it

and sqq is like BINGHE NO DON'T LOWER YOURSELF IT'S FINE I'LL DO IT and binghe just immediately turns on the crocodile tears and is like shizun i couldn't STAND watching you pleasure another man...even to save our lives...please forgive this husband for betraying you and being so selfish....

and liu qingge is like. i'm in hell.

(i think maybe this needs to be in liu qingge's perspective bc we need to see binghe's scheming but we also need to. know how distressing and confusing liu qingge finds all this)

and lbh is like. perfectly willing to make this a businesslike blowjob, except he notices sqq is. interested. and then he immediately turns into a porn star and liu qingge is like holy shit. holy shit. oh my god.

so lbh sucks lqg's soul out through his dick, and then while lqg is trying to catch his breath and recover from a very stressful loss of virginity, sqq is like ...binghe...><...could you give me a hand...

and lqg would leave and give them privacy but his legs aren't working yet because he's never come that hard in his fucking life, so now he's awkwardly trying not to look at sqq and lbh making out, and not hear lbh being extremely filthy with his dirty talk, and then lbh yells his name like he's tried to get his attention a couple of times (he has) and lqg looks over and there's sqq half-undressed, with his dick out, and lbh is like shishu come kiss my husband

lqg is like WHAT

lbh is like. well it seems like shizun didn't just like watching me suck another man's cock, it seems like he found liu-shishu himself attractive. so get over here and help me get him off. (he's probably slightly less polite in this exchange than he would be in front of sqq, but sqq is. dickmatized. he's too horny to care about what lbh is saying or how he says it)

so lqg creeps over and keeps checking with lbh, who is like "get on with it", and kisses sqq, and is totally taken by surprise by the wanton moaning into his mouth that happens

sqq is so out of it it literally takes him a minute to realize there are two mouths on his body right now and binghe only has one mouth and he's like AH SHIDI? and lqg is about to flee, but lbh grabs him and looks up from sqq's dick and is like "shizun, don't you think shishu is pretty? didn't you like watching him come?" and sqq blusters and stammers, and lbh is like "shishu, you don't mind do you?" and lqg blusters and stammers, and lbh is like "great, i'm going to go back to sucking dick now"

and every time lqg goes to do something, he looks at sqq, and sqq looks at lbh, and lbh just like. pinches or pokes lqg or something. so lqg kisses sqq, and touches his neck, and his chest, and kisses down his body, and sucks on his nipple, and sqq obviously comes (and lbh is obviously smug and delighted about it), and then sqq recovers way faster than lqg did and is like WELL THAT'S ONE CURSE BROKEN, I'LL JUST HEAD BACK, BINGHE YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF THE CLEAN-UP RIGHT, HELP YOUR SHISHU and books it

and lbh is like. well i'm going to see if that's something he wants when he's not zonked out of his mind on lust, don't fucking touch him again until i tell you it's okay, and then also leaves

and lqg is like ???

*

lqg is totally willing to just. accept that weird things happen sometimes. like, the sex pollen and fuck or die things are relatively commonplace (more so around sqq) and weird things happen around both sqq and lbh, and lbh obviously only did that because he thought sqq wanted it, and...it seemed like sqq did enjoy himself...which was nice...but it means nothing and is never going to happen again so he's just going to stop thinking about it!

and then lbh shows up on bai zhan peak and is like. okay he's into it, come to dinner

and lqg is like ??? you want me to have sex with your husband? you don't even like me? why would i do this?

lbh is like. okay you're not this stupid usually. i do not want you to have sex with my husband, i was thinking i would have sex with you in front of him, he liked that well enough last time. whether or not i like you has nothing to do with whether shizun finds you attractive? and shizun should have everything he wants, ergo, shizun should have you. idk he's always been weirdly insistent that i should have a harem, maybe he'll shut up about it if we're having sex. and you would do this because there's no other way you're going to be with him and you also want him to have what he wants, don't you?

and like. well. now lqg is feeling uncomfortably Seen. and also like he has things in common with lbh. neither of which he likes.

he goes to dinner.

he gets to make out with sqq, which is nice, and then he gets fucked by lbh, which is. a pretty intense experience! it's physically enjoyable and he gets to see how much sqq likes watching it, which is a lot, and he comes, and then he's just kind of there while sqq and lbh have lovey-dovey sex, and he's like ohhhhh this sucks i don't like this actually

but the next invitation comes from sqq, and he's so cheerful and happy about it that lqg doesn't say anything, and sqq dares to suggest maybe they could try it the other way around, so lqg fucks binghe and binghe is. way more into it than lqg expected him to be actually. like he's crying and lqg doesn't think the tears are fake. lbh appears to be having some kind of fucking Realization and lqg does not want to be there, except sqq is super into it and so is lqg's dick, so he's like. well. mama didn't raise no quitter, anyway

and it's like. sqq is treating him like normal, like a friend, and being cute, and then suggesting filthy things to do together, and lqg does like. get off on it. it's sex. it's nice. except then inevitably there comes the part of the evening where sqq and lbh have basically forgotten about him and are in their own little world, which is annoying enough when lqg is just laying there coming down, but is excruciating when (eg) one of them is using him like a sex toy. like yes it's hot when sqq fucks his mouth while he and lbh make out but it doesn't make lqg happy

and eventually lqg is like. yeah okay enough is enough, this is not working for me, and he makes sure to find sqq some time when lbh is off in the demon realm or something, and is like. sqq please tell your husband you don't want to have sex with me anymore.

and sqq is like >///< excuse me? shidi?

lqg is like. i don't. want to do it anymore.

and sqq is like omg shidi i'm so sorry i thought--i mean you always seemed to enjoy yourself...

and lqg has to clarify like. no it's. physically it's. pleasurable. but it makes me feel. bad. emotionally.

and sqq is like oh. um. i'm sorry. and they just like sit there for a while. and then sqq is like why don't you tell binghe yourself, though?

and lqg is like oh my god you stupid motherfucker. (he does not say that but that's the emotion he experiences) you know lbh doesn't even like me, right? i don't know if he even finds me attractive. he's doing this for you.

and sqq is like I'M SURE I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN

and lqg is like aaaaaaaaaaaaa shixiong. please. yes you do. he realized you...find the two of us together pleasing...and that's why he brought me into your bed. it is completely and entirely because you like it. he would not do it if not for you. (he does not say, i would not do it if not for you) if i try to tell him i'm not doing it anymore, it's...not going to work. (sqq probably assumes this means they'll fight about it, but lqg is kind of more concerned that lbh will just. tell him more things about how he feels about sqq. devastating) and i know other cultivators sometimes say you don't care about anyone's feelings but lbh's but i know that's not true and i am asking you, as a friend, to please convince your husband you don't want to have sex with me anymore.

and lqg is like. phew. god that was too many feelings, i need to go kill something

MEANWHILE sqq runs to an ding peak and is like CUCUMBER AM I A BAD PERSON?

without missing a beat sqh is like yeah

except instead of sniping back sqq is like. oh. i see. and starts shuffling off sadly

so sqh has to be like oh my god i didn't MEAN it you turned my fearsome demon emperor into a spoiled housewife through the power of love, you are clearly not a bad person, what is wrong

and sqq is like. okay so you remember the FOD plot device

and sqh is like bro you must know the answer is no

and sqq sighs and is like. the blowjob curse. that then ended up with a creampie anyway. because you're a hack.

and sqh is like oh lmao yeah that one, what about it

sqq is like. well. so. um. liu shidi got hit with it? while we were on a hunt?

and sqh is like oh shit, how did lbh take that news

sqq is like umm. he was there. so. pretty good i guess?

and sqh is like. *eyes narrow*

sqq is like so binghe sucked him off but it was--i mean liu shidi is very pretty! and i like watching binghe do things he's good at! so i got kind of horny! and then binghe noticed that, of course, and um. we've kind of been having threesomes with lqg for the last six months but earlier lqg said he didn't want to do it anymore because it hurt his feelings??? and i never even noticed he was having any kind of feelings about it at all, i thought--i mean. you know.

sqh is like cucumber, no one in this world or the last knows what the fuck you mean when you say things like that. i have NO IDEA what you thought because WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING what the FUCK have you been doing what the FUCK. what the fuck.

sqq is like shidi said binghe was only even doing it for me! and he didn't even want shidi! which is ridiculous, right? i mean he's so pretty. but why would binghe like. why would he. i mean i did like watching them but that's. i assumed that was a bonus, not like. the point.

sqh is like. i am not qualified to talk about most of that but i can tell you, luo binghe would do literally anything if he thought it was what you wanted. if he really thought you wanted him to have a harem, he would have a harem. if he thought you really wanted him to kill himself, he would fucking kill himself. and if he thought you wanted a harem, he would start rounding up every person you'd ever said was attractive and grilling them to see if they were trustworthy. so yeah, i'm not surprised you expressed attraction to the one other person in the world as in love with you as luo binghe is and luo binghe was like. i guess it's time to suffer through threesomes for shizun

and sqq is like WHAT

and sqh is like oh my god. oh my GOD. are you telling me you didn't KNOW? WHY DID YOU THINK IT HURT HIS FEELINGS TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND

and sqq is like i don't know! i hadn't gotten that far!!! i thought maybe he liked binghe and was sad binghe didn't like him back???

sqh is like you are so fucking stupid. i cannot believe you have two of the most powerful men in the world fighting for your attention. except...i guess i did kind of write pidw with a lot of attractive bimbos in it...is it my fault actually??? is it my fault you're irresistible??? i assume you died a virgin neet irl since that's what my audience was so you could hardly have been irresistible then....

and sqq is like. well everything is your fault so yes, but also, i am not a bimbo what is wrong with you

and that interaction was deeply stupid and kind of baffling but it has reminded liu qingge that like...well. other demons exist. because it's not hard to imagine part of the reason the sex was stupidly good, apart from...being in love with shen qingqiu...was that binghe is a demon. and like. maybe fucking another demon would be just as good? or almost as good, but way less upsetting?

so he goes to the succubus cave and is like ey madam meiyin--stop running away from me--you got any boys here?

and she's like O.O. regrettably incubi are much rarer than succubi, so no. we do have some girls with dicks, if that would suit you? and of course we all have strap-ons we can use. and liu qingge is like. thinking about stuff for the first time right at this moment perhaps. like oh. yeah okay he was in love with A Man, and then having sex with Just Men, but like...maybe? girls? would also work? his sample size for romantic and sexual interest is NOT HIGH. so he's like. uh idk does it feel the same?

madam meiyin is like. well. it depends on the strap, and also where you put it. they feel pretty similar in your ass, but you'd definitely be able to tell the difference with your mouth? and tbh liu qingge has mostly been thinking about binghe's dick in his ass. this may be partially because it is too painful to think about the times he got to suck off shen qingqiu but he's not thinking about that. so he's like sure, why not

and two succubi give it a shot (one who has a dick and one who has a strap) but eventually are like "you don't feel very into this" and liu qingge is like "sorry, you're...very sexy? idk what's wrong" and one of them is like, more up on gossip and is like "um, please forgive me if i'm overstepping, but...weren't you having sex with junshang and his husband?" and the other one is like OH maybe that's what it is! maybe you're one of those people who needs feelings to be involved! humans are like that sometimes i hear. (liu qingge is like ??? is everyone not like that??? and meanwhile the other demoness is like ??? is that real? that sounds fake)

and liu qingge is like. leaving the succubi's slightly less sexually frustrated and slightly more emotionally frustrated when madam meiyin is like WAIT, ESTEEMED CULTIVATOR *pant pant* damn, you're fast. i have a distant cousin who is an incubus, he lives at the edge of the endless abyss, maybe you should give him a visit?

liu qingge is like "thanks but i don't see why that would work any better" and madam meiyin is like "no you don't get it he lives alone at the edge of the abyss, he's a fucking freak by succubus standards, i'm not even totally sure how he survives so isolated. like i don't know what he can eat out there. he might match your freak, is what i'm saying" and liu qingge is like. well. there's no denying my one romantic interest is a fucking freak, so maybe that IS my type.

so liu qingge asks shang qinghua for a favor, and shang qinghua is perhaps a little disappointed it's a research favor and not a sexy favor (he designed liu qingge to be pretty! it's not a crime to think watching his husband rail liu qingge would be hot!!!) but he comes through in like a comically short amount of time, and then liu qingge flies off to the right section of the demon realm and like. knocks on a random incubus's door

the incubus is like "wtf who are you, what do you want, why is a human here" and liu qingge is like "i'm liu qingge and i'm here to court you" and the incubus is like "...you're....liu qingge....the bai zhan war god......and you're here to...kill me?" and liu qingge is like what are you, stupid? i said COURT. i wouldn't have knocked if i was here to kill you. and the incubus is like oh obviously, i should have known, my bad, why would i think anything else. (liu qingge just about manages to notice that that is sarcasm.) and then he's like. okay but we don't know each other and also i thought you hated demons?

liu qingge is like *shrug* turns out demons are pretty much the same as humans. i don't like most humans either but i wouldn't say i HATE them. it's mostly Luo binghe i hate.

the incubus is like YEAH THAT'S ANOTHER THING the last thing i heard you were supposed to be, um, involved??? with the emperor and his wife??? but then before liu qingge can respond he's like, ah, shit, where are my manners, come in, i'll make tea, since we are apparently having a conversation, and like. liu qingge thinks, okay that is a little cute.

so they go in and sit down and it's like a very normal little hut, in the middle of nowhere, on the edge of the endless abyss, and perhaps other people would be like "this is very peculiar" but liu qingge is like "this is pretty nice" and finally they get done with pleasantries and pouring tea and liu qingge is like, yeah so. i don't like luo binghe and he doesn't like me but i AM in love with his husband and he would put up with anything for his husband, and HE liked fucking both of us, but it made me absolutely miserable, so now we're not doing it anymore, but also i got real used to getting mad laid. (and also am lonely, he does not say, but i think it might be obvious anyway)

the incubus is like, i GUESS i see how that can lead to you ending up at my door but ??? how did you even know where i was? and liu qingge is like. well i tried to have sex with succubi but. it felt really weird and i couldn't get into it because i don't like them. and the incubus is like, okay then we go back to my earlier point re: we don't know each other? and liu qingge is like "yeah that's why i said i wanted to COURT you, not that i wanted to fuck right away"

and like. this solitary incubus is not prepared for this man. he's like. fine. okay. i guess that makes sense. you're in love with the demon empress and you want to date a demon to get over him. liu qingge is like, i mean i do miss the sex, it was just hard to get into it with the succubi. but idk how interested i am in women anyway. the incubus is like, well sure, you WOULD miss the sex, junshang is a heavenly demon and his husband is a renowned beauty, i'm sure when it wasn't torture it was awesome. liu qingge is like yes, pretty much

and the incubus is like, SO ADDITIONAL CONCERN: you're going to be disappointed with me then. and liu qingge is like ? why? i mean you're pretty, and you're a demon, so surely you have the stamina, and the incubus is like, oh compared to a human or most kinds of demons, sure, that's fine, but like. did anyone tell you WHY i live out here alone? and liu qingge is like nah, madam meiyin just said you were her cousin and a weirdo, and the incubus sighs. and is like. okay i'll just show you, and he gets up, and pulls up his robe and pushes down his pants, and there is his junk, right there at eye level, and it's--

well. it is. not what liu qingge was expecting. from his knowledge of demon dicks. luo binghe is ridiculously hung, obviously, but shang qinghua was not discreet about getting together with MBJ and the. difficulties that accompanied it. and like presumably the succubus who had a dick wasn't unusual. the straps were all like, liu qingge's size or bigger. the incubus's dick is like. small. like, would be small on a human small. like liu qingge has never really considered being embarrassed about any part of his body, and finds it somewhat baffling that people are ever, but he's thinking okay yeah he could see a human being a little defensive of that. but out loud he's like, i mean it gets bigger, right? and the incubus is like NOT A LOT, MY GUY. BOTH OF MY SISTERS' CLITS ARE BIGGER THAN THIS. i mean i guess i'm bigger than one of them when it's hard but again: not by a lot!!! so he pulls his clothes back on and sits down and is like, so i don't know that i can really help you with the. replacing sex with junshang and his husband thing? i mean he's a heavenly demon, right, they're all supposed to be hung. and then he frowns and mutters, although incubi are all supposed to be hung too...

liu qingge is like no you're right, his dick is a weapon. but like...idk, i don't think that was the important part? it was--i mean it was way way worse when shen qingqiu did it. but. physically. it was. just as good if not better? and i mean, you've got hands and a mouth, right? and dildos exist. it's fine.

the incubus is like really? really really? you don't think it defeats the purpose of courting an incubus in order to have a sex partner? and liu qingge is like ??? no? the point of courting an incubus is that you're a demon who is probably open to having sex with humans. and is not involved in sect or court politics already, he adds, because there is a reason he went to the succubi instead of shang qinghua or luo binghe. (the idea of asking luo binghe to set him up with someone was just. no. shang qinghua was only slightly better after his weird attempts to cheer liu qingge up by offering threesomes but at least he wasn't luo binghe.)

and the incubus is like oh. um. okay. then. i guess that's all my objections taken care of! haha! what next! and liu qingge is like. uhhh. idk, how does demon courtship work? and the incubus makes a face and is like, i don't know that anyone really expects incubi and succubi to...court? because most demons like. hunt and kill shit for each other. but i can't. ...i mean i assume you don't want me to seduce another human and bring them back here for a threesome?

liu qingge is like ew no. i mean the threesome thing was fine, it was good, i just. you know. then i wouldn't know THEM. BUT I CAN DEFINITELY KILL THINGS FOR YOU, YOU WANT BEASTS? and the incubus is like. until this exact moment i would have said no but now that you're offering...i kind of do? and liu qingge is like oh i am going to get SUCH a good grade in demon courtship, and leaves without saying goodbye.

he returns several days later with the bloody corpse of something very impressive and the incubus is like. okay we need to work on some stuff but yeah, no, that's hot! wow! and liu qingge is like ^u^

so their first date is probably butchering this enormous demonic creature. and liu qingge is like "oh don't you want the meat?" and the incubus is like "uh, no? it's nasty as fuck?" and liu qingge is like "meh, not as bad as some things i've eaten" and the incubus is like UH I'M PRETTY SURE THIS IS *POISONOUS* TO HUMANS? and liu qingge is like meh, i'm a cultivator, and the incubus is like oh i see. yes. you are insane. that explains a lot about...everything i've ever heard about you. (but again: kind of hot by demon standards! just shrugging off his physical limitations like it's nbd!)

anyway when they eventually have sex it's fine that inky's dick isn't enormous, it's enough to reach liu qingge's prostate and he can go just as long as luo binghe, except instead of it being to show off to shen qingqiu or taunt liu qingge, it's because he likes liu qingge and finds him sexy, and that feels soooo much better to liu qingge. then they switch and inky is like holy shit we're never doing it the other way again, i want to live the rest of my life with your dick inside me, and liu qingge is like. i hope that's. dirty talk. and not sincere. because i really want you to fuck me again. and the incubus is like aww, bb. of course i'm not serious, i'll take good care of you...sometimes.

She wasn't sure how much the villagers would want her around, after the fight she'd just had with Bernie. Bernie was one of the headwoman's kids, which meant she was also one of the Destroyer's kids. They were beloved by the entire village, but the anger of the two most important people in the village--one of whom was a literal god!--was the real danger. She didn't think they'd tell the fleet to fuck off, but they might ask the captains to not have Raisa come.

She was near tears again before she realized it.

She loved this village, of course, but she was really upset about Bernie. She'd tried so hard not to mess things up this time. She'd tried so hard.

"Hey, Raisa," someone called. Raisa looked up to see it was Bernie's mother, the village headwoman. Raisa couldn't help cringing a little.

The village headwoman, who, like the rest of her village, didn't seem to have a family name and therefore everyone simply called Ayla, didn't seem to notice. She beckoned Raisa and said, "Come take a walk with me."

She was in for it now, Raisa thought, but it wasn't like she didn't get it. She'd be pissed at someone for fighting with Bernie too, if she wasn't the one doing it. She glumly got to her feet and followed Ayla down the street to the fields.

They walked in silence for a few minutes. The moist ground smelled greener than the dankest parts of a ship. Some of the other members of the fleet didn't like it, but Raisa always had. Sure, it meant she wasn't on the sea, but it meant she was on good land, at least.

As they reached the far end of the fields, where they'd be able to see anyone approaching them from pretty far away, well before they could be overheard, Ayla said, "So Bernie told me you had a fight."

Raisa sighed. "Yes, ma'am," she said.

Ayla frowned at her. "I'm not going to yell at you," she said. "Or I don't intend to, at least. You've been to enough family dinners now, I think you know I'm not always prepared to get so...worked up."

"Yes, ma'am," Raisa said. "Thank you."

"Do you like having sex with Bernie?" Ayla asked.

Raisa hesitated, because Ayla would hardly be asking if Bernie hadn't told her about the fight. "I don't hate it," she said.

Ayla sighed. "Kiddo," she murmured. Which was a little condescending, Raisa was twenty-eight, but Ayla had been running this village since she was nineteen, and she was old enough to be Raisa's mother.

When Raisa started dating Bernie, people asked her if she was intimidated to be dating one of Mara's children, and did she worry about being smited if she fucked something up. Which was silly, because for all that Mara was the god of destruction, he was a harmless funny uncle as far as Raisa was concerned. She just couldn't square the idea of Mara the Destroyer with the man who used to toss rocks up into the air and disintegrate them with magic to entertain children. But it was also that Bernie wasn't Mara's kid. Like, she literally was, he was her father, there was no denying that, but Bernie was first and foremost her mother's daughter. Hari was the one stuck to Mara like glue, and Lind was very much Nic's. Bernie was Ayla's.

Anyway, Ayla did all the negotiating with the captains, and even though she never introduced herself as such, all the other villagers looked to her for decisions because she was the village headwoman. Raisa had the impression they made their decisions more collectively, much like a ship did, then had Ayla act as their captain to speak to outsiders and do business. And Ayla was a temperamental and stubborn leader. Raisa never wanted to get on her bad side.

"Kiddo," Ayla murmured. "Did it never occur to you that you don't have to have sex with your girlfriend?"

"Of course I do," Raisa said. "That's what being someone's girlfriend is."

"Oh, yikes," Ayla said. "Are you saying you're only dating my daughter to get in her pants?"

Raisa flushed. "No, of course not," she said.

"Then you think she's only dating you to get in your pants," Ayla said.

"No," Raisa said. "That's not what I meant at all."

"So sex isn't all there is to dating, then."

"No, but it's one of the things people expect," Raisa said.

"And you can tell people to stop expecting it," Ayla said. "It's actually pretty easy."

"Easy for you to say," Raisa muttered, aware she sounded sullen but unable to help it.

Ayla laughed. "Gods," she said. "Bernie really ought to have learned from Hari and Fatima's example," she said, shaking her head. "Raisa, do you know why Bernie asked me to talk to you? Instead of Nic or Mara, hell, even Hari or Lind?"

"She's your favorite," Raisa said. "Or...vice-versa, at least."

"Fair, but not why she came to me," Ayla said. If Raisa had said that about any of the parents in the fleet, they would have denied it, even when it was obvious. That was just one of the things she liked about the village, that they didn't deny obvious things just because they were distasteful. Usually, that made them less distasteful. Ayla went on, "When she calmed down, she realized what you were saying sounded a lot like things I used to say."

Raisa frowned. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"It sounded to her like you don't like having sex with her," Ayla said, "shh, I'm not done--because it sounds like you don't really like having sex with anyone."

"It's fine," Raisa said.

"Kiddo, I don't even have a sex drive and I don't think sex is supposed to just be 'fine'," Ayla said.

Raisa looked over at her, frowning. "What do you mean," she asked, "you don't have a sex drive?"

"I mean I have never in my life looked at someone and thought, ooh, I need some of that," Ayla said. "No, not even Mara or Nic. I didn't have sex at all until I was older than you are now, which was a good twelve years into our marriage. Or, twelve years into Nic and Mara's marriage, which none of us realized functionally included me too."

"What?" Raisa asked. "But you--I mean, I've heard you have sex with them."

Ayla chuckled. "Never say that around Nic," she said. "Ze'd die. Yes, I do have sex with them now. Not as often as they have sex with each other, because I still don't want it the way they do. I don't think about it all the time, which I'm pretty sure Nic would if ze wasn't always tinkering with something. I do it because it makes them happy, and it's fun, but it's also on my terms, which I'm pretty sure lots of people would think didn't even count as sex."

"What?" Raisa asked again.

Ayla was quiet for a few moments. Raisa waited for her to collect her thoughts. "For a long time," Ayla said eventually, "I thought the fact that I didn't want to have sex meant I could never be in a relationship. I figured it wouldn't be worth it to someone else. I thought they'd think I was childish, or selfish, or that I didn't actually like them."

Raisa found tears swarming her eyes again. "You did?" she asked.

"Gods, did I ever," Ayla said. She shook her head. "My first village, growing up--even though we were heretics because of the farming, it was very strict in other ways. I can't imagine anyone there ever accepting Nic wasn't a woman, or Lind not being a man. They'd only be alright with Hari and Fatima if they pretended Fatima was a man." For a second, Raisa couldn't even understand why they'd choose to think Fatima was a man instead of Hari; it had been so long since Fatima swapped. Ayla went on, "They told me for years that I was being childish and selfish, for not being interested in any of the village boys, and wishing my friends would stop pairing off."

"Oh," Raisa said. "I had no idea."

"Of course not," Ayla said. "If someone tried to say that in our village, we'd have Mara toss them into the ocean. Same as we'd do with anyone who tried to insinuate Nic is 'really' a woman, or that Chiamaka should settle down with a man and have kids of her own. But that's the sort of thing that made me think there was no point in even talking to Nic and Mara about how it made me feel when they started dating. Even if you discounted the fact that I was supposed to have feelings for one of them, not both of them--what was even the point, when they already had each other, and I couldn't offer the whole girlfriend experience anyway? Why would they even bother?"

"I really don't mind having sex," Raisa said. "I do like making Bernie feel good. It's just so exhausting."

"Then you should tell her that," Ayla said. "Because right now, she thinks you hate her."

"I could never!" Raisa said. "I love her, I want to be with her, I--" She just managed to stop herself from telling Bernie's mother that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Bernie before she told Bernie directly. "It's just, sometimes it feels like that's all she wants from me, especially when we've been apart. And I know that's not true, it just...feels that way sometimes. And. You're right, I don't think other people feel this way about their girlfriends. I know most of the people in the Fleet are just as excited for that reunion sex when they get back to port as Bernie is. But she doesn't have another person to have sex with when I'm not there, and I don't know how I'd feel about that anyway."

"No, but you don't even know if that's something she would want or ask for," Ayla said. "Because you haven't actually talked to her about this."

"But--but what if it means she doesn't want me anymore?" Raisa asked.

Ayla set her hand on Raisa's shoulder. Quietly, she said, "If you had to lie to her to keep her interested, it wasn't a very good fit, then, was it?"

Raisa started crying. "I don't want to break up," she said. "I've never felt this way about anyone before. I don't want to lose it."

"There's a whole slew of things in between 'saying what you think she wants to hear' and 'breaking up forever'," Ayla said. "I don't know what she's willing to give up to keep you, but neither do you, huh? You should talk to her about it before you jump right to 'breaking up'."

Raisa sniffled. "Like what?" she asked. "I can't ask her to never have sex."

"Sure you can," Ayla said. "I went fourteen years sleeping with Nic and Mara without having sex with them. They still agreed I was the mother of their children and their wife."

"But like you said, they have each other," Raisa said.

"Sure, but you can still ask," Ayla said. "If that's something Bernie can't do, you look for the next compromise that might work for both of you. Say she can have casual sex with other people but not date them, or try and figure out a way to make sex less of a chore for you, or see if having sex less often helps you focus on the parts you like without the rest getting annoying. I'm sure there's other things I'm not thinking of that the two of you can come up with." She squeezed Raisa's shoulder. "At least then, you will have tried. Honestly, without trying to be something you're not."

Raisa wiped her eyes with the back of one hand. "I thought you'd be mad at me," she said.

"For what, trying to be what you thought a good girlfriend was?" Ayla asked.

"At least for lying," Raisa said.

Ayla sighed again. "Kiddo," she said. "There were times I wished I hadn't told everyone in the village I wasn't going to fuck them, so I could have tried to put up with it, for Nic or Mara's sake. Nic never told zeir parents ze wasn't a girl. Danny spent years trying to make himself be interested in women. It's not great for your relationship that you felt like you had to lie, but feeling like that, like you had to, makes it a lot harder to be mad about."

After a while, Raisa asked, "How do you do it? How do you...make yourself believe they don't mind?"

"It helps that they didn't for fourteen years," Ayla said. "But we've talked about it, when we first agreed we were all married, and since then. They gave me time and space to figure out what I might actually be okay with, and they didn't try to prod me into things for their sake. And they trust me when I say I like having sex with them even though I don't find them sexy and don't want them touching me, so the least I can do is trust them when they say they love me whether or not we have sex."

"That sounds terrifying," Raisa said.

Ayla laughed again. "Well, there is a reason it took fourteen years," she said. "I didn't even know where to start. Nic and Mara both tried, at least once, to let me know there was a place for me with them if I wanted it, but I couldn't believe they meant it, or knew what it sounded like. And they didn't want to push, since the first thing I said about it was that I wasn't interested and they shouldn't bother hitting on me." She nudged Raisa's arm. "You have the advantage that we tried really hard to make this a village where it was safe to be weird when it doesn't hurt anyone."

"But it could hurt her," Raisa said.

"Unfortunately, you already hurt her," Ayla said. "But also: you not wanting to fuck someone doesn't hurt them. It just doesn't. If they hear you don't want to fuck them and get upset about it, that's their problem, not yours. You hurt Bernie by not telling her the truth, and letting her think you weren't attracted to her anymore. Not by being less into sex than she is."

"Can I--" She cut herself off. She didn't have any right to ask that, not of Ayla. But then, who else could she ask? Any of the other villagers would ask Ayla her opinion anyway. Raisa took a deep, shaky breath, and then another that was less shaky. She asked, "If--if it doesn't work with Bernie, can I still come here? Can I still visit?"

Ayla stopped walking and pulled Raisa into a hug. "Oh, you little idiot," she murmured. "Of course you can."

Raisa's eyes filled with tears again. "Really?" she asked.

"You'd have to do a lot worse than just breaking up with my daughter to get kicked out of this village," Ayla said. She squeezed Raisa. "What matters is that you let people do their own thing and try to get along. And I know you can do that."

Raisa nodded into Ayla's shoulder, not quite trusting herself to speak.

Ayla took a step back, keeping her hands on Raisa's arms. "Now you go tell Bernie what you told me and figure out what you're going to try that's in between lying and keeping secrets and breaking up forever, okay? I know it's scary. But you deserve a relationship where you can be yourself."