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YOU ARE THE REASON
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@quizzicalvole
Iâve got a sideblog about Critical Role (@quizzicalvole, which I think is a fun name), but I think Iâm going to just start putting CR stuff on this, my main blog. What is Tumblr for but enthusing over your current hyperfixation, right?
I have started to feel weird about having a topic-specific sideblog, because it feels like I'm walling off Critical Role from the other things I like. So I'm probably going to post CR on @enjoymorestuffâ from now on.
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Wait, was Travis wearing a shirt last night that said âTotal Party Killâ?
Why would he even tempt that shit??
Speaking as someone who is on a D&D podcast called âTotal Party Killâ (plug!) I thought it was great.
also can we talk abt how for a good minute and a half liam legitimately considered turning this golem into a walking suit of kick-proof armor for his cat bc Iâve never wanted anything more in my life
Mechafrumpkin
Allura, put Kima on
What about those giant siege weapons that are pointed directly at the golem?
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Matt: *turns to check a rule*
The entire rest of the cast: *immediately dissolves into a marshmallow throwing competition
If the Mighty Nein were left unsupervised for two minutes with a bag of marshmallows, they would also immediately break down into anarchy.
âSo, get this, I get the clockwork tower designed just the way the boss wanted, with a million giant gears all interlocking perfectly. And then he says he wants the gravity to do weird stuff sometimes. I had to redo EV ER Y THING. And then, guess what? We start building the thing, and he walks up. Weâre on day one of a million-day project, and he starts looking at the gears really close. Turns out he wants them all spaced out a little bit more. Says he wants gaps just big enough to grab a hand and suck in a body. So, you know, Iâm back to the drawing board for another few months before we start building again. And the worst part? He was right. This is going to be my masterpiece.â
 -The architect who created this tower that Mighty Nein are currently exploring
ok but also: that means yussa was a trustworthy npc all along and m9 just went ânah this guy is weird cause he doesnât have a doorâ
Two options here:
Yussa does not have a door because he knows Adventurers Are Bad At Doors and likely to bring down the entire tower if he gives them a door into it. Heâs friends with Allura, he knows what happened to her tower and other towers in Exandria. The man is no fool.
Heâs an introvert and doesnât want anyone to bother him. Leave the poor man alone, he doesnât want to buy encyclopedias or sponsor random adventuring idiots. This guy thought going into The Archmageâs Bane alone was a Great Plan, he obviously thinks No Door is the perfect deterrent.
If Yussa didn't want anyone to bother him, I think he wouldn't have shown Caleb the teleportation circle. That's the equivalent of giving the key to your house to someone the first time you meet them. Also, just practically speaking, if you don't want to be bothered by adventurers, you shouldn't have a giant shape-changing tower in the middle of town. I think Yussa wants to be visited constantly, and the reason there's no door is that he wants to pretend to be shy. His goblin butler opened the door as soon as someone knocked. I'm picturing Yussa explaining to the goblin that he wants to seem unavailable, but not THAT unavailable.
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Matt: This is my OC, her name is Allura.
Matt: She's very timid and nice to everyone and wants peace more than anything. She's also intelligent and creative.
Everyone at the table: *looks at Matt*
Matt: And here's this outspoken, loudmouthed, younger badass with red her.
Everyone at the table: *looks at Marisha*
Matt: ThEy'RE MArRieD
Everyone: ah.
In case anyone else is confused like i was about the heart thing, hereâs the info they found about it when they were at the cobalt soul! From the transcript of episode 78:Â
âThe Laughing Hand was once a warrior named Ganix who sought to strike down Torog with his army. His soldiers were slaughtered and himself captured and tortured. Torog twisted and cursed his body to an endless cycle of servitude, his ever-living heart locked beyond the veil to ensure an eternal pact.â He rummages through the rest of the pages and is about to close the book, then he goes to the very back and sees some of the fresher notes and goes, âAll right. It says here that rumor has it that his heart was set adrift in extra-planar space to ensure it was never found. Though numerous arcanists were said to have sought it for their own research.â
I tried so hard to pay attention during episode 78â˛s lore reveals, but there was so much of it. Thank you!
âALL WIZARDS KNOW EACH OTHERâ
Allura came to save them againnnn!Â
[ID: a series of GIFs from C2EP80 of critical role. In the first two Matt, in character, talks and tries to hold back a smile as he says âIâm Arcanist Allura Vysoren.â He then grins as he watches the cast react.
The next two show them reacting; Travis yells and throws his head back, Marisha also yells and leans back, punching the air. Liam laughs as Sam gives a small smile before he does the same. Laura and Taliesin both smile as she waves her hands in the air and he throws his head back in relief. End ID]
The Mighty Nein: we fucked up again, weâre so bad at everything and everyone hates us and weâre terrible
Matt: *wraps them gently in a blanket, gives them a cup of hot cocoa, a side quest so they can actually feel useful, some breadcrumbs to help them get back on their main quest, and a beloved npc from the previous campaign* I love you, youâre amazing
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god I can't wait for Allura to jerk awake in a cold sweat next to her wife with the voice of an enthusiastic blue tiefling blaring in her head because it's only a matter of time now
Allura: *sees a group of stupid ragtag adventurers that scream found family*
Allura:
