I have never been wise

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

Is it socially acceptable to use opaque watercolors, or is that considered gouache?

potato battery? no. potato usually fried by itself. potato starchy enough to go in oil without batter

Potato battery? no, it only threatened you, which is assault

yes. good. fried potato taste very good with a salt

sorry to everyone out there who thinks they have the funniest tshirt but i think i can confidently say i just saw the actual funniest tshirt just now. i passed by a beautiful black woman with long multicolor braids blowing majestically in the beach breeze & she was wearing an oversized tshirt that said in gigantic letters "WHITE BOY OF THE YEAR"

The person who tweeted “y’all can’t even boycott Chick-fil-A” was right then and continues to be proven right now

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!