you see you have this character who is an abuse survivor and a csa victim and who saw his father murdered his mother's tongue cut he had to carve his best friend's eyes out of his face and almost committed suicide until someone else quite literally took the pain away from him and he killed his own abuser. that's just the backstory though. because THEN his ACTUAL character arc for three novels is him desperately trying to build a world where he is in control and everything works out and no one can hurt him EXCEPT he goes on and perpetuates the cycle he has desperately trying to break and now he's become the mirror of his own abuser and a rapist and there's no coming back no forgiveness no redemption nothing to save him from the disgusting person he's become. because someone else has taken the pain from him and he has run from the memories, denied them significance, instead of holding that pain as source of compassion for others. and then he dies. and im gonna throw myself off a cliff





















