Dec 31, 2013
i had a dream that i banged my ex a lot and i really needed to tell someone but they know my personal tumblr and i don't have a phone right now so i can't text a friend. so hello. i should be on a bit later.

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@quinn-daniel

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THEY BECAME TWO
Because I don’t want to get better! I mean I do, but the doctors shouldn’t know. I don’t want to leave Blacklist.
Alright, well what if you focus on getting better and I don't let anyone know you're getting better?
Hope everyone's having a Merry Christmas Eve
What should I get him? He didn’t give me any ideas and I’m not very creative.
Hmm... I don't know. Something from the heart?
Hello? Anyone around?
*Spencer slips beneath the covers but doesn’t lie down. In stead, he pulls his knees up to this chest, bringing the thin sheet with them, making sure to leave enough space for Dan to fit beside him.*
-sits close to his brother and leans in to kiss his cheek-

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Ought to Say // Daniel & Spencer
From the moment Spencer had got the message telling him to meet his brother in his office, he’d began to weigh his options. He knew what he wanted from Dan, aware that there was little chance that their meeting would turn out and differently to the way they always did, yet he still took time to think about it -a pointless thing to do really, considering he always 'thought about it' but it simply didn’t often take much thought at all. He’d try to talk himself out of seducing his brother (or begging him, depending on Spencer’s measure of desperation) but every time, he’d decided that ‘we’ve don’t it before, another time won’t hurt’, ’what’s the worst that could happen?’, ’Surely if he hates it so much, he’d say no.’ and this time was no different.
He was practically ready anyway, having been wondering around with nothing particularly exciting to do all day after showering that morning, so he made his way to Daniel’s office almost immediately. Although he was oblivious to not only Dan’s feeling for him, but also the fact that he was comfortable with having sex with him -there was still a voice at the back of Spencer’s mind that told him that his brother only gave Spencer what he wanted because he cared so much about him, no because he actually wanted to- and he knew he’s feel guilty right after, just like he always did, Spencer just couldn’t bring himself to give it a second thought. He was selfish, he knew that, even when it came to quite possibly the most important person in his life, whom had only been back in his life for a matter of days. He considered it taking advantage of his brother, but until he’d actually done it again, he couldn’t bring himself to feel any remorse.
It didn’t take long for him to reach the room, the patient to distracted by thoughts and ideas of what was to come to even realise when he was almost there. When he reached the door and knocked, hearing his brothers muffled voice through the thin wood instructing him to go inside, Spencer dragged the slim fingers of one hand through his hair as he pushed the door open with the other, the signature cocky smile set on his face when he spotted his brother. “It better not be an ugly sweater, Danny. I have enough of those.” He looked down at the one he was wearing -one of the better ones, but still too baggy due to the weight he’d lost- before kicking the door shut behind him and crossing the room.
No amount of preparation could ever prepare Daniel for the sight of his brother. He was momentarily struck,entranced. He was a deer in Spencer's headlights, or a moth to Spencer's flame. He drank in the sight of his brother for a moment. He couldn't help thinking how easy it would be to just tell his brother everything, to lay his feelings bare for Spencer. That small bit of shame he felt kept him from doing that though. Spencer was his brother, he wasn't supposed to want to hold his hand and kiss him and make love to him. He was supposed to protect him and take care of him. Daniel couldn't hep feeling that he was taking advantage of Spencer. Spencer couldn't control his desires. Daniel could, and should, but he didn't like to say no to his brother and he didn't want to say no.
He shook his head slightly and smiled at Spencer. "Nah, not a sweater. I'm your gift. We can do anything you want, anything at all."
THEY BECAME TWO
No, it’s not!
-frowns- why not?
"Who… is going to… help me?"
I can try if you want me to.
Hello? Anyone around?
C’mon. *He kisses a random place once, wherever he can reach and takes Dan’s hand to lead him to his own bed.* I wanna lay down. If anybody comes in, just… cover your face or something. They’re used to me having, uh, company.
-follows him- Yeah okay. -feels a small twinge of jealousy at the last statement but ignores it-
THEY BECAME TWO
Oh no! Does that mean I’m making progress?
Either that or staying the same. It mostly means that you don't seem to be getting worse. Which is a good thing.

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Hello? Anyone around?
*He nuzzles his jaw before setting his forehead on the crook of Dan’s neck* Yeah, me too.
-keeps running fingers through Spencer's hair- -starts humming a song softly-
"Is that… true?"
-nods- Absolutely true.
Hello? Anyone around?
*He wraps his arms about Dan’s neck and tilts his chin to continue leaving kisses over his jaw* Why not?
Because I like this. Just being with one other. It's nice. -hand moves up to run his fingers through Spencer's hair-
THEY BECAME TWO
I think I’ve gained weight again but as long as I can wear my on clothes I’m fine with it.
Alright. You seem to be getting on pretty well. That's good to hear.
"…They say I can’t… be helped."
-shakes head- There's no one that can't be helped.

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Hello? Anyone around?
Do you want me to- *He glances down, but just ends up kissing his shoulder*
-bites lip- -has been doing his best to ignore the fact that he's achingly hard- -shakes his head slightly- No, that's okay. -kisses Spencer's forehead and wraps his arms around his brother-
THEY BECAME TWO
Everything else? Like what else?
Like your emotional and physical well being?