I'm a total trash mammal!!!

you ever hear a new song and immediately go “oooh the fake scenarios in my head are gonna love this”

You... brought her home, right? Called her owners? Did something to get her generally in the direction of the people who certainly must miss their daughter dearly?

no they just took a picture for tumblr and then threw the cat down a sewer drain

yay!

as a writer, it’s very important that you know this: whenever you tell yourself “this will only be one-chapter-long” that is a lie. your brain is lying to you. it won’t, in fact, be just a short one-shot

I'm trying to think of the name of those off-brand hedgehog things but the only thing that comes to mind is enchilada

Their dicks have 4 heads

ALL THE KNUCKLES PORNOGRAPHY IS INACCURATE

why do people keep saying this

Putting the term "Catholic guilt" on a high shelf where fandom can't reach it until everyone learns how to identify characters who are very very clearly coded as Protestant.

red mackerel tabby

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

Do not let your child suffer from spicy bananas!

Joy and whimsy detected! This post is joyful and whimsical!