Gentlest of Bleeding ThingsĀ Ali Choudhary
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@quietmydear
Gentlest of Bleeding ThingsĀ Ali Choudhary

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ā F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Sensible Thing
gonna give her everything, my angel deserves it
If my body could sprak; "eat" by blythe baird // ocean voung // pinterest // ? // @ibvyache // holly warburton // @star-eaters @antidecay // @chenchenwrites on twitter // domenico fiasella // hum, hum by mary oliver

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did something ambiguously romantic with the object of my affections and now iām feverish and sniffling. am i a fucking edwardian woman
it was covid
if I could ask God anything and get the real, genuine answer, I'd ask him why He commanded Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. He knew He was going to stop him. He knew that He'd never truly ask him to do it. He knew that if he went through with it then His promise would be frustrated.
The thing is... the story has led parents to think it's okay to sacrifice their children, metaphorically and sometimes literally, for a false sense of moral superiority. How many LGBT+ children have been sacrificed in the supposed name of Christianity? How many autistic children? How many orphaned children? How many abused children?
Maybe it was the right lesson for Abraham, especially about how it paralleled Christ's atonement. But it's not a story that has translated well into modern times.
do you want the Jewish answer? It was to challenge him to think critically about commandments from g-d (and translating to religion as an institution, rulings from religious leaders and scripture), and it's a challenge he failed. He was supposed to, theoretically, fight g-d and say "no, by no means am I going to do this. I don't care that you created everything, that is my child and my world, and I'm not going to do it just because you said so."
Instead, Abraham royally screws up, traumatises his son, and in doing so, loses his son, loses g-d's will and favor, and in the Tanakh we never really hear from Abraham again after this point, because he failed.
It's a story about someone blindly following in faith, and losing the most important things to them because they never stopped to think "Wait, did I hear this right? And if I did hear this right, am I so sure that this is something I want to follow?"
Isaac was Abraham's only son at the time, and the child he had fought so hard to have. Him following an order blindly without thinking of the consequences is not supposed to be a good thing (It just kind of benefits the feudal society that eventually embraced Christianity, which is why the understanding was changed in Christian worldviews.)
āIām much happier at 53 than I was at 23.ā (x)
i love you guillermo del totoro
[ID: Four gifs of Guillermo del Toro in an interview. He says, āI think the sublime confusion is from 19 to 29. You think you are late for everything, youāre a has-been, nothing is happening, thereās no opportunity for you, the world is closed, everything is a disaster, you wanna die. And then youāre 30.ā /end ID]
He once gave a class in Guadalajara and said āUstedes los jóvenes estĆ”n en la edad exacta de la desesperación. Yo nunca me sentĆ mĆ”s acabado y viejo que a los veintitantos. DecĆa āya me pasó la vida y no hice nadaā. Pero estoy aquĆ para decirles que no: tienen un chingo de tiempoā
Which translates to āYou young people are in the exact age of desperation. I never felt more done and old than in my twenties. Iād say ālife has passed me by and i did nothingā. But iām here to tell you thatās not true: you have a lot of fucking timeā
this might be a hot take but i actually donāt think humans were meant to know what is going on in everyoneās lives all over the world every second of the day and constantly be available for conversations or collaborations or call-ins for work and texts and phone calls and social media posts without end. i think we were supposed to just help the people around us and spend time with our family and friends and eat yummy bread and berries and relax
Everything Iāve ever let go of has claw marks on it Hand burnt text on silk velvet 42ā³ x 24ā³ 2016

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Ugly, Bitter, and True by Suzanne Rivecca
we are under fucking attack
ocean vuong really put the lines ādont worry. your father is only your father until one of you forgetsā and āthe most beautiful part of your body is wherever your motherās shadow fallsā and ādont be afraid, the gunfire is only the sound of people trying to live a little longer / and failingā and āthe most beautiful part of your body is where itās headed. & remember, loneliness is still time spent / with the worldā and āyour dead friends pass through you like wind / through a wind chimeā all in ONE POEM and expected me to move on as if i ever stood a chance
NATALIE DIAZ
āAmerican Arithmeticā from The Mighty Stream: Poems in celebration of Martin Luther King (2017);
original photos and edit
small like trapped having a panic attack while on a zoom call in my job. small like covering my face with a fist so nobody sees my teeth chattering. white knuckle capitalism. small like i have no global influence. small like holy shit the state of the world. small like yelp asked me if i registered to vote, small like i've been voting. small like can i take a breath for a moment. small like shaking in a corner.
small like therapy is in 6 days and 12 hours. small like the 15 minutes to hold my dog and breathe in the smell of his fur and then go back to my assignments. small like i have been running from the horror for so long, and the horror comes anyway. the horror never holds off. and i hold it anyway, because i have to, and there's nothing else i can do, except feel the smallness and the fear, and hope to god something goes right for once.
small like - i want a boring life! i want my life and everyone else's life to be boring. i want to go back into the past and pull out the 7 year old who was annoyed by the stagnant air. i want to tell her - it's good nothing moves right now. it's okay. the quiet is a calmness. there's something very precious there.
āThe moon does its best to heal your suffering underneath the light of dusk. You find solace in the silence because it cannot be taken from you.ā
ā Noor Shirazie

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Jennifer S. Cheng, from So We Must Meet Apart
[Text ID: Maybe what Iāve been trying to say all this time, as an explanation and apology, is that I sense a mass of white noise in front of my face wherever I go. It stands between me and the world, between me and other people. More and more I am finding myself lost in it, unable to make it through to the other side.]
Blud, Rachel McKibbens