hi! you found me!

comic i made about being higher supports needs autism and masking

panel 1: on the left is an orange-and-yellow furred anthropomorphic dog with curly brown hair waving to the viewer. to the right of them is the text: "hi! I have Severe Autism! I want to talk about masking!"

panel 2: the top of the panel contains the text: "Usually, people think of masking like this."

underneath is a happy stick figure person to the left saying: "haha wow what a totally normal person. i would never guess they're autistic!"

to the right of this stick figure is a cat wearing the mask of a person, saying: "i'm actually very burnt out by this."

panel 3: the top of the panel contains the text: "But when you're higher supports needs, it's not usually like that."

from left to right, top to bottom, the 5 drawings contained are:

a small white cat with yellow headphones with a tablet in their hands. below is the text: "communication differences".

next a gray cat watching a small brown cat run very far away. below is the text: "elopement".

next a brown dog sitting in a wheelchair with a catheter and catheter bag. below is the text: "comorbid physical disabilities".

next is a brown cat with sunglasses and a gray happy cat standing next to each other. below is the text: "24/7 aid".

next is an overstimulated appearing gray fuzzy dog with a red helmet flapping their arms.

below all drawings is the text: "Our Autism is often very visible no matter what!"

panel 4: the top of the panel contains the text: "So, can higher supports autistic people mask?"

to the left of the panel is the orange dog from panel 1 saying: "It depends! some can and some can't. and when we do mask, it probably looks different!"

panel 5: the top of the panel contains the text: "here's some examples!"

the first example shows a black dog first flapping their arms, and in the next drawing chewing on their hand.

this example says: "instead of preferred stims, I might do different, often harmful stims like biting myself, pulling my hair, or picking my skin. I might also get overwhelmed a lot faster if I can't do my preferred stims. I likely can't just stop stimming completely."

the second example below it contains an image of a tan dog happily holding a pink tablet, and in the next drawing having no tablet and holding their paws over their mouth.

this example says: "instead of using my regular communication method, I might just not communicate at all. I likely have speech difficulties or can't communicate at all and can't force myself to speak "normally" [in quotes] even to mask."

the third example contains a drawing of a dazed orange cat with swirly eyes and orange headphones.

this example says: "instead of letting others know my needs, I might dissociate or go quiet. I likely get overwhelmed very easily and/or need help with basic needs like toileting. when masking, I might not ask for help when I need to."

panel 6: the top of the panel contains the text: "But what's the point of masking if you can't hide your autism?"

below is a drawing of the orange furry laying down, saying: "we still get the pressure to "Act Normal" [in quotes]. A lot of us also went through ABA and we're taught to suppress symptoms".

panel 7: this panel contains the orange fursona close up saying: "A lot of us also don't realize when we are masking!"

text to the left of her says: "family and caregivers may need to help us in this situation!"

panel 8: this panel contains the large text: "I created this short comic because I often don't feel included or represented by how others usually talk about masking, and wanted to put a different perspective out there and show you how I experience it. I hope you enjoyed it!"

below is a tiny chibi drawing of the orange furry and the credit text: "postmanic".

shoutout to people who often get misinterpreted because they express a lot of different emotions in very similar ways.

shoutout to people who have the "wrong" reaction to a situation (e.g. laughing when bad things happen) and get treated worse for it.

shoutout to people who have exaggerated emotional expression and gets seen as overdramatic or manipulative.

examples include being told:

you're being manipulated/taken advantage of by the trans community

you don't have the mental capacity to know your gender

you're trying to find belonging because you're a social outcast for being autistic and that's why you think you're trans

autism makes you confused about your identity so you can't know you're trans

autism makes you misunderstand social norms so you're misinterpreting your gender expression as your gender identity

the trans community is a cult and they're love bombing you but you can't see it because you can't read social cues

autistic people go through lots of phases so we should wait to support you until we know it's "real"

autistic people often feel uncomfortable in their bodies so we can't allow you to transition

autistic people don't usually know what they want so we can't allow you to transition, you might regret it

hormones/surgeries will trigger your sensory issues so we won't allow you to get them

you already get bullied a lot so we can't let you be trans, you'll be bullied more

you're really sensitive so transphobia will be too upsetting for you

you don't have the mental capacity to know what being trans actually means

being autistic makes you out of touch with your emotions so how can you actually know you're experiencing dysphoria?

you don't have the social skills necessary to handle expressing your gender to people

every autistic person wants to be trans, they need to investigate if this is real before we support you

every autistic person wants to be trans, this is just a trend that autistic people are participating in because they feel alienated from regular trends

(not a statement) you've been denied AAC that allows you to express your gender or have had it taken away

(not a statement) a doctor or caregiver has denied you gender affirming care (including social transitioning care like clothes) on the basis of your autism

non-exhaustive, feel free to reply with more

I went through multiple psychiatrists which took years until I finally found one who would eventually (far beyond the legal minimum wait period imposed on trans people in the psych system seeking this diagnosis) give me the diagnostic paperwork & I was finally able to start HRT. All of the ones prior would continuously bring up me being autistic / resulting traits or problems as reasons for them essentially not allowing me to transition (amongst one other: me being "too mentally ill", so like, according to them the dysphoria did need to make you suffer greatly emotionally, but you also couldn't actually appear to be "unstable" emotionally. Of fucking course...)

One told me it might take years of conversation with him until he felt he "might" be able to make a decision on whether I was "actually trans or just confused". I would get increasingly upset over these interactions because I started to feel like I would never be able to medically transition, my carer (my mother) ended up actually complaining to higher up staff & we even had a conversation with the head doctor of the hospitals trans healthcare ward (?) . Who spent like 30 minutes telling her & me how dedicated they are to accommodate trans people of all kind, making us hopeful he'd instruct the psychiatrist to actually meaningfully accommodate me like we had been asking (the biggest one being direct communication / questions, understanding my issues with verbal speech, etc. but also taking into account differences in expressing & processing emotions in general, and more). But he then finished that conversation by basically going "well, if someone can't express themselves normally, we can't do anything there, you're just gonna have to figure out how do give us what we want in these conversations or we won't let you access hrt."

"Well I had to eat whatever was for dinner or else I would have starved."

Me too! And I became severely malnourished because I could not eat what was put in front of me.

"My parents hit me if I didn't get good grades so I had to."

Mine too! Except I could not get good grades in a mainstream class no matter how hard I tried or what was at stake.

"I have to mask because I need to keep my job."

Me too! Except I can't even pass an interview because of my limited ability to mask.

"I can't have meltdowns around other people or else I'll be bullied/abused/mocked."

Same here! But I can't hold in my meltdowns.

You need to understand that some people will never be able to do the things you can, no matter how hard they're pushed or what the consequences are for not doing it. I'm really sorry that you were forced to talk, but someone else being unable to speak does not mean that they could if there was enough pressure. Stop assuming that everyone who doesn't mask/speak/etc. grew up in a safe and supportive environment. There are people who would (and do!) die because they're neglected and can't learn to just do things themselves.

"Oh shit, I forgot that people can't read my mind again!" -> example of struggling with theory of mind.

"Damn, I forgot that you don't know this, that I have to tell you in order for you to know!" -> example of struggling with theory of mind

"Oh right, I assumed you'd know I moved the keys from the table to the shelf. It just didn't occur to me that I'd have to tell you, somehow I thought you'd just magically know." -> example of struggling with theory of mind

I know these things on an intellectual level because I've been told these things repeatedly. But I need to constantly remind me of that. I need to remind myself to tell people what I think. What I want. That just because I known what happened, they don't automatically also know it. I struggle with theory of mind. The thing that children struggle with at first and then usually develop at a certain age.

I'm working on making the homepages of different AAC apps for the Animal Crossing tablet item! You can edit the tablet with customization kits to have a custom design, so you can put your AAC device in your home or around the island.

So far I have LAMP, Proloquo2Go, TD Snap Core First, and TouchChat done. I'll be adding more soon.

More homepages have been done and uploaded! Newly added are:

• WeaveChat

• Avaz

• Proloquo

• CoughDrop

• CBoard

• Asterics Grid

CW: mentions of self injury and autistic meltdowns

self injury and meltdowns

i can’t speak for every autistic person, but for many of us, self-injurious behaviors during meltdowns are not about wanting to be hurt. they are about regulation. a meltdown is not a tantrum or a choice. it is a nervous system overload, during that state, the brain is desperately searching for something that is predictable, intense, and controllable. pain or strong physical input can sometimes serve that purpose.

self-injurious behaviors often:

provide strong a sensory input that cuts through overwhelming noise, light, emotions, or thoughts

create a sense of cause and effect when everything else feels chaotic

help narrow focus to one sensation when the world feels unmanageably large

act as an instinctive attempt to self-regulate, not a sign of defiance or attention-seeking

because of this, telling someone to “stop,” “calm down,” or “control yourself” rarely works. it can increase distress, shame, and escalation. the behavior is already a coping attempt. taking it away without replacing it leaves the nervous system with nothing to grab onto. this is why redirection and protection are usually far more effective than prohibition.

how to help:

stay calm and predictable. your nervous system matters more than your words.

reduce demands. a meltdown is not a teachable moment.

ask for consent before touching, when possible.

redirect rather than forbid. replace the input instead of removing it entirely.

below are common self-injurious behaviors some autistic people experience during meltdowns, along with ways to help that focus on safety and regulation.

hitting self (arms, hips, head, legs, chest)

what may help:

offer something safe to hold, squeeze, or press into, like a comfort plush, stress ball, therapy putty, or folded blanket

weighted items or firm pressure objects can sometimes meet the same sensory need

keep your language simple and neutral, for example: “here. hold this.”

hitting head against surfaces

what may help:

first try redirection with a comfort object or familiar item

if the behavior continues, place a soft barrier such as a pillow, cushion, or folded blanket between the head and the surface

in more severe or frequent cases, some people benefit from protective equipment like soft helmets, as a preventative safety tool rather than a punishment

the goal here is injury prevention, not restraint.

hair pulling

what may help:

give a fidget that provides clear cause-and-effect feedback, such as clicking, snapping, resistance, or texture

items that require repetitive finger movement can sometimes substitute for the sensation and rhythm of hair pulling

biting self

what may help:

offer a safe alternative to bite, such as a chew necklace, chew tube, or teether

if those aren’t available, crunchy or cold items like ice chips can sometimes provide strong oral input

avoid reacting with alarm, which can unintentionally reinforce distress

scratching or picking at skin

what may help:

offer something soft or textured to touch, like a blanket or plush fabric

sometimes redirecting to a more pleasant tactile sensation can “outcompete” the urge to scratch

if the person is open to touch, gently guiding their hand to rub with the palm instead of nails can reduce harm while preserving the repetitive motion

in more extreme situations, protective coverings like mittens may help, if the person tolerates them

other self injurious behaviors that can occur during a physical meltdown:

these vary widely by person, but may include:

banging limbs on objects

pressing or digging into skin

clenching muscles intensely

throwing body weight into surfaces

the same guiding idea applies: look for ways to redirect the sensation, protect the body, and lower overall sensory load.

self-injurious behaviors during meltdowns are often a sign that regulation resources have been exceeded. they are not moral failures, manipulation, or something that can simply be “stopped.” trying to block these behaviors without offering alternatives usually increases distress. redirection, sensory substitution, and environmental safety are far more effective and compassionate. helping an autistic person through a physical meltdown is less about control and more about becoming a calm predictable helper while the person attempts to regulate themselves.