Quidditch and Wizard's Chess

people have said good things about you behind your back, without your knowledge. people have shared their love for you with others.

“I would die for my kids” your children want an apology

your made up scenario isn’t real (shocker) and makes no difference when your kids are starving for your acknowledgment of the pain you caused them. you’re only performing the role of a good parent, without having to actually do any heavy lifting

*gripping sink clenching teeth* one percent is better than zero percent. one percent is better than zero percent. one percent is better than zero percent. one percent is better than zero percent.

only washing your face in the shower, just to get anything clean, is better than not showering at all. doing one push up just to get your body moving is better than doing zero push ups. putting a single floret of broccoli in your pasta just to get any amount of veggies in you is better than zero broccoli. only getting out of bed to feed your cat is better than not feeding your cat. writing down what you want to do today, and then not doing it, is still better than never doing anything at all.

this shit sucks. wish bulbasaur was real . 

seeing adults act like mean girls is sooo embarrassing. you’re not cool, you just look miserable as hell

grug hate two factor authentication. first grug have to remember password. then grug have to point out which cave painting has birds. now they want grug to hunt and gather new thing called numbers. grug won’t do it grug miss the bird paintings grug was getting pretty good at birds.

White people be standing so close to you in line at stores it feels like they're trying to steal your lifeforce