Quidditch Memes

This is ancient as far as pop culture goes, but I just found this again tonight and I had a lot of fun writing it.

(To the tune of "Love the Way You Lie")

Just gonna stand there and run the pitch Well that’s alright because you’re ‘bout to catch the snitch Just gonna snatch it and it’s a tie  Well that’s alright because I love the way you fly I love the way you fly

I can’t tell you if we really scored I can only tell you what it looked like And right now, there’s a wooden broom in my line of sight I can’t move but I hear the ref say, “it’s not quite” As long as I think to myself “right,” it’s like it’s from spite

High off the ground, loving this game It’s like I’m in the books and I love it, the more I play it, never the same And right before it’s about to start, when the snitch’ll bait me You can’t placate me, ‘cause I love it—wait 

Where you goin? I’m tackling him—you’ll be numb  Come back, you’re running right back to the hoops you bum Don’t look so glum, cause when we’re having fun, we have a blast You’re Katie Bell with a broom through your legs, I’m Viktor Krum

Though when it’s bad, it’s painful Think I hurt my thumb I snap, “don’t do that,” but I’m really glad we’re chums I laid hands on him, I’ll never get stuck in a scrum I guess I’ll just fall on my bum 

Just gonna stand there and run the pitch Well that’s alright because you’re ‘bout to catch the snitch Just gonna grab it and it’s a tie Well that’s alright because I love the way you fly I love the way you fly

You ever love somebody so much You can barely chase when you're with 'em You're beat and neither one of you even knows what hit 'em Got that deflated quaffle, yeah them points, used to get 'em Now they try to catch the snitch but you don't let 'em 

You swore you'd never back tackle or do nothin' to hurt 'em Now you're grabbing 'round the neck, two-hand tackles and it hurts when you hit 'em You kick, pull each other's shirts, scream, yell, pin, 'em Throw 'em down, beat 'em going for the quaffle so you win 'em

It's the game that took over, it controls you both So you say it's best to throw it through the hoops, guess that they won't count it Cause the goal ref is looking down, won't they pay attention Every single day, man that's really adding to the tension

But you promise refs Next time you'll show restraint You don't get another shot It's a single-elim game

But you lose again Now you get to watch that team go to World Cup Guess I'll never see AB's snitch cane