no regrets, only memories

i love the phrase "cruel and unusual." not only is what you're doing mean but it's also quite frankly fucking bizarre

a/c unit is malfunctioning. parents are on a cruise. my brother Is here and he's trying to take a look but he is closer to an electrician than an hvac person so idrk how that's gonna pan out

a tech is coming out tonight thank fuck

This comic is genuinely how I remember which is which.

if youre having trouble remembering then use the classic "keep port(the wine) in your left hand so you can steer the ship with your right"

And if you’re out long enough that night falls and you need to remember which side of the ship the red and green navigation lights are on, you’ve got “There’s no red port left.”

Port has 4 letters, Left has 4 letters. Starboard has more than 4 letters, right has more than 4 letters. Easy way to remember

you think im gonna be able to count when im three sheets to the wind, cant steer straight and spill port all over my deck?

It's nice that loud noises don't stick to clothes like smells do. That would be really bad if they did.

big fan of the recent trend ive noticed of people adding flaming text of the original word over censored words in posts. do NOT sanitize the internet. say fuck with your chest

something cool about queering your idea of sex is that you can walk out of a heavy make out session feeling like you had the rawest sex of your life. you can be sitting close at a bar kissing them and maybe you’ve found a way to sit so your knee is discreetly between their thighs and feeling the pleasure it gives them and then feeling them give that pleasure to you. you can be looking each other in the eye and you can feel them inside you from that alone. like you want to tear their clothes off and are hungry for the feeling of their skin and their closeness but even just this feels like heaven, feels connected to them in the deep place where pleasure comes from.

this shit is everything to me man. i'm gonna fucking give birth to you

you don't have to be scared of your suicidal friends. you don't have to be scared of your psychotic or delusional friends. you don't have to call the police every time someone says they feel like they want to die. you can say things like, "that sounds really hard" and "I'm going to bring you some food and you can tell me more about it"

anywayyy i will not be made to feel crazy or delusional for believing that people shouldn’t have to earn their place in the world. that everybody should be afforded dignity, even beauty, and life, regardless if they have ‘worked hard’ or checked a box or not. regardless of who they are and where they are born. the laziest person in the world is not less deserving of happiness than the most hardworking person. deserving means nothing. free your mind of the idea of deserving and you will begin to be able to think!!