☕️✨

🔖 I’d uh..knock before entering

🎬 TheHeartKillers

🎳 FirstKhaotung as KantBison

Expanding on this thought because it’s fun haha.

💭 Previous thought: Bison getting that focused with Kant while tattooing and designing that pin 👌 I’m just imagining Kant and Bison as a tattoo artist couple. I’d be curious what Bison’s art style would be. While Kant has more of a Black and Grey style, I could see Bison doing New School or Water Color maybe? Their tattoo studio could be called… 🐝 Killer Bee…

🎨 They become famous on their own profiles for their art style. I can imagine them traveling as guest tattoo artists (this could be the SandRay rubbing off of me). If anyone messes with either of them, I just know they’ll match each other’s energy and be a chaos machine to whomever. Then the other one will have to hold them back.

🌙 My own perspective, it’s all good if you don’t agree. I’m less focused on morality. I’ve accepted they’re grey.

🎬 TheHeartKillersEp4

🎳 First Kanaphan as Kant

⚖️ He’s so interesting. You can see his first instinct is to take control of a situation and maybe lead people but he’s resigned to it. He feels weighed down by having taken on the parental role for his brother. While he didn’t ask for this role, he’s trying hard. Babe can tell Kant is stressed and takes on a lot , so considers the financial aspects of not going to the doctor. But Kant reassures him he pays for his health insurance in a light hearted way to make Babe feel better. 100% I know for sure, he needs a break. A long vacation on the 🏝️ I found it endearing later on when Kant saw the homoph*bic remarks on sns and his initial reaction was essentially “I’m gonna go beat these little sh*ts.”. Bison held him back and was the voice of reason. They really match other 😂

💸 I could be projecting as I saw myself a bit. Nevertheless these write ups are for me to look back on so I can project lol. As someone who’s been in poverty and now has an appreciation for having control over my space and aesthetics. Kant and money are interesting to me. He was desperate enough for it at one point to go an illegal route that could have jeopardized him and his brother’s life (I do not blame him, I grew up in a place where this is common). Yet, now I’m presuming he’s making enough money to afford luxury accessories and house decor (unless they’re dupes). His brother clearly has echos of their financial state. Because of all this, is Kant good with money? Like does he save or does he splurge. Pondering this…

❣️It’s hard for me to use his reactions to Bison as an example for anything as it’s hard to tell if he’s exaggerating his real self, completely acting or being authentic. Of course when he 😬 faces it’s obvious he’s not acting but when he shows care, that’s when it’s hard to tell what’s genuine or not. Funny enough, I view Kant the most genuinely caring when his face reflects worry, not affection at the moment. I also think he’s acting AS WELL when talking to Style about putting Fadel and Bison in jail being “all he cares about”. Kant is avoidannnnnt..and that includes with his true feelings. I think this is a characteristic Style and him share. They have personality fronts that are larger with more ego to hide their vulnerability. In some ways, I don’t think he means to, but this is why he didn’t notice the bruises for Babe. I think he legitimately didn’t notice them because he’s trying to navigate life superficially to cope. Bison encouraged him to *see* and get real about his brothers situation and that’s a very vulnerable experience to share. My heart is gonna drop as I’m confident his love will hit him full force later and maybe at a bad time. Also, just like Bison is perceptive, so is Kant when directly talking with the person. Kant’s 🙃 face when Bison is interrogating him clues him in that Bison is suspicious. Now that they’re both a bit clued in, curious.

🌙 My own perspective, it’s all good if you don’t agree. I’m less focused on morality. I’ve accepted they’re grey.

🎬 TheHeartKillersEp4

🎳 Khaotung as Bison

⚖️ I live for dichotomy and love that First and Khaotung keep serving me that. Cute face, 💅🏻 aesthetic, fluttery lashes and big eyes 🥺 with a savage bite. I’m sorry, I was vibing with the side of him that’s like “f*ck with me 🔪” . I strive for chill vibes now but deep, deep down within me this resonates. Especially if family or loved ones are involved.

❣️ Last episode Bison was feeling him. This episode, he took his brother’s words to heart. He *wants* to trust Kant even though deep down he knows something is off. He picks up on the smallest details and isn’t noticing Kant’s 😟 faces? One perspective, he feels something is off and is just operating like everyone who wants to make a relationship work and is avoiding the signs. To some extent, he’s decided to take Kant at his word. He asked him bluntly multiple times and when Kant clearly told him there’s nothing else to tell him, Bison could only accept that. But there is a part of me that perceives that Bison doesn’t and can’t fully trust him after his brother revealed that information. So they’re both now *in the know* and playing with each other for information BUT feelings and some genuineness are mixing in. I don’t fully align with that thought though as Bison’s reaction to James felt like genuine jealousy or protectiveness (not 100% sure how he perceived the situation as he came at a strange time). He seemed to feel somewhat mollified after hearing Kant’s back story. Additionally, why go to those lengths to help Babe? That seemed more aligned with Bison’s potential sense of doing the right thing. I’m open to multiple potential paths with these characters though…so curious which way the show will go.

🥊 I thought it was interesting how *quick* Bison was to get angry and call out the janitor on his grooming. He went 10 boots down and was like, nope this will not fly. But that swiftness and speech made me think if he hasn’t experienced it himself (he actively is with his adoptive mother just not sure his awareness) then he may have some sense of justice. So, these threats of killing, is there actually heat behind it? Has he ever killed anyone who wasn’t assigned to him and he didn’t review prior a dr*g smuggler, pedof*le, hum*n trafficker, etc.? Fadel even said to him “don’t say things you won’t do” after Bison said “just kill him”. I wonder if *he thinks* he is a vigilante. I’ve accepted him as grey so I started the show thinking he may have a different set of values based on his upbringing but some things make me wonder if he’s a bark not bite person. Curious to see when he’s faced with a less clear target.

🎨 Bison getting that focused with Kant while tattooing and designing that pin 👌 I’m just imagining Kant and Bison as a tattoo artist couple. I’d be curious what Bison’s art style would be. While Kant has more of a Black and Grey style, I could see Bison doing New School or Water Color maybe? Their tattoo studio could be called… 🐝 Killer Bee…

🎬 TheHeartKillersEp3

🎶 Say Yes to Heaven by Lana Del Ray

🎳 FirstKhaotung as KantBison

🎶 Cherry Bomb by The Runaways

🎳 FirstKhaotung as KantBison

🎬 TheHeartKillers

📺 TheHeartKillersEP3

🎳 FirstKhaotung KantBison

❤️‍🔥TheHeartKillersEP3

🎳 FirstKhaotung KantBison

I don’t know if Kant is pretending or not but I’m choosing to believe he is genuine in finding some enjoyment in pain, even if it’s new for him. Starting from that frame of mind.

On the topic of BDSM, pleasure & pain. As someone (tmi) who has been in both Bison’s and Kant’s position, I relate to both characters in their dynamic and see how they’re gaining pleasure. I think some who may not relate, think there may only be uncomfortable sharp pain. Pain CAN just be pain but there are many who feel physical enjoyment during or immediately after painful stimulation. There can be a literal pleasurable sensation during or after the slap of the flog or hair pull. Whether it be a thud, sting, bite, sharp, hot or cold. There IS also just pain for some and they may like that.

But in my experience, there is tingling, pleasure and heightened sensitivity after certain pain. I seek that and avoid the bad pain that doesn’t do it for me. This is not even counting all the emotional elements of letting go or receiving control which is an honor and very vulnerable. All of this..heightened physical and emotional experience can result in a more intense 💥 as well. Everyone is different though ✨

❣️Fall In Love | short ver.

🎬 TheHeartKillersEP2

🎶 Until I Found You by Stephen Sanchez & Em Beihold

Mostly thoughts on his perspective of the relationship + some new thoughts on him.

He’s definitely an artist or has an artistic soul. Who has a sketch book of their brothers daily life in that level of detail? The digital design tool downloaded on his tablet + the style of drawing he did for the tattoo + the gorgeous end result of the tattoo he drew screams artists or desire to be an artists in some way. This could be partly what attracts him to Kant.

In my perspective, he does have romantic feelings for Kant but they’re more similar to a crush and the beginning. I wouldn’t say it’s purely for attention. He did seem genuinely concerned about Kant’s fear of the sea last episode and is worried about Kant’s safety when it’s concerning his brother. Now the amount of feelings he has doesn’t match his words though.

When he says to Fadel “Kant wants me for my body and my heart.” I think he’s being dramatic there. But he means it when he says “we’re taking it slow” and later lays on the couch with a soft smile. While he questions Kant’s feelings multiple times throughout the episode but was defending him to Fadel so he could continue to see where his and Kant’s relationship leads.

Regarding his perspective on the legitimacy of Kant’s feelings. Every time Kant uses a pickup line, asks for s*x or a relationship, it seems like Bison cringes a bit and pulls away. Whenever Kant does something vulnerable like reveal something about himself, visiting him in disguise, dancing with him despite being shy to dance, he starts to *feel* for him. I mean this is usual, people who are vulnerable with you make you feel comfortable bringing out your own vulnerabilities thus increases intimacy. Bison is a bit of a romantic and is into this potentially working out. He offers a casual relationship to Kant but seems happy when Kant pushes for a more solid relationship and cheekily says “you have a lot to prove”. He wants Kant to prove it.

On Bison with Fadel, he has expressed multiple times he wants his brother to enjoy life more. While he does have some desire to be free, largely I think his desire to set up Fadel and Style is so Fadel can experience love. He seemed really affected by Kant’s assurance of “You did this because you’re worried about him. You just want him to enjoy life, don’t you?”

When Fadel laughed and said “you call your mom mother? What are you, young master?” Bison seemed hurt or confused(?). His mother or family dynamic is a sore point in my opinion (c’mon man..what’s with Khaotung and parent trauma 🥲).

♨️💭 In my head, he’s a full brat and maybe switch. He loves the tease of it all. Like that cat grin he has and genuine enjoyment after leaving Kant with the ending of his tease (a vibe 🙂‍↕️). But him expressing he also likes pain and “I like cats because they’re unpredictable. Sometimes they act like they love you and want you, and then ago ahead and ignore you. Treat you like a total stranger. It’s challenging.” Then Kant says: “so you love a challenge .” Not sure if Kant is fully accurate there. I think Bison likes *being* a challenge…or maybe he likes both. We’ll see.

The whiplash I get as a viewer between watching Kant being starry eyed with Bison to very calculated the moment he leaves..wugh. I’m fully convinced in those romantic scenes that Kant is down bad. Then when he gets analytical, I question everything I’ve just seen.

Do I think he romantically likes Bison? No, not yet. I still think it’ll suddenly hit him like a ton of bricks later as opposed to Bison’s gradual fall. I do think he has affection for him though. Like “this is cute behavior” or “this bish”. I don’t think in those dance scenes or the tattoo chair he’s necessarily faking anything. It’s just not love, it’s sexual desire + “hmm this guy is cute”.

Bison is holding himself back with emotional and verbal vulnerability. So in some ways, I understand why Kant isn’t romantically gone yet and is just feeling a bit of cute aggression + sexual tension still.

About his calculated thoughts and actions immediately before or after interactions with Bison.

Does he intend Bison harm? No, I don’t think he is intentionally malicious. He might do harm like f*ck boys sometimes do but he isn’t really thinking about how it affects Bison. He’s more concerned with his own situation.

Fear: I think he may have a healthy recognition that he *might* be dealing with a killer or at least Bison’s brother is a killer. Which is terrifying as f*ck realistically. Flirting with someone who could kill you? Might make many wary. However, I don’t know if Kant’s stint with car thievery puts him in a similar dissociative moral state where he’s less phased by this environment. I grew up in a dangerous neighborhood and being in certain environments and around certain people..can low key encourage..different view on life and what you need to do to survive. So this fear may or may not be there. If it is, it could prevent him from emotionally going further.

There is a flashback to Kant’s brother saying “make sure he knows he really matters to you.” His brother is so cute supporting him in his relationship. He’s the captain of the ship 🛳️

I personally do think Kant paid the guy to be possessive to win him over romantically but for the missions sake. I don’t think his goal right now is to genuinely seduce Bison to be his boyfriend out of romantic desire. He’s being threatened into finding information, so it is what is it. Doesn’t mean he isn’t enjoying parts of the ride. My delulu brain was thinking the cheek kisses to lip kiss were unnecessary and for Kants benefit and desire heh.

I really appreciate how professional he is in his job. His set up is clean with the surrounding area + chair covering + ring light. He was speaking to Bison professionally (until it got flirty heh), was clear about the time it would take and warned him about the pain level. Respect.

♨️💭 I touched on this in Ep.1 but I feel more solid in this realm of thought. I’m not sure how much experience Kant has with submission. I wonder a bit if he’s used to being the dominant one because of his size. Style mentioned girls as an option at the beginning and Kant pointed out Bison as being the “shortie in red” (though that’s the English translation and I saw in the Thai it’s cutie). While *I* know size isn’t an indicator of someone’s preferences, many in society tend to project that and have expectations because of it. With this in mind, I wonder if Kant has been relegated to a more dominant role because of his appearance. Him frequently asserting dominance with Bison on the chair and other small scenarios made me think that may be his norm (whether he likes it or not). If it is, I wonder if him partaking in a more submissive role will force a vulnerability out of him that he didn’t expect thus resulting in unexplored parts of himself and feelings he also isn’t expecting.

Kant's is famous for Critique of Pure Reason, which was published in 1781 and revised in 1787. He is also known for his ideas on the categorical imperative, which is a person's unconditional moral obligation.

The most hilarious of all. Like I’m dying is Kant was known for his ethical condemnation of most sexual activity. He believed sexual desire could lead people to misjudge their own and other’s value. And they have a playboy with his name 😂

Here are some of his most well known musings from Kant (the philosopher):

“Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.”

“Nothing is divine but what is agreeable to reason”

“I had therefore to remove knowledge, in order to make room for belief"

“All our knowledge begins with the senses, proceeds then to the understanding, and ends with reason. There is nothing higher than reason”

🎬 Cat For Cash

🎶 Understand by Keshi

How I perceive their relationship so far. There’s for sure s*xual attraction..lots of it. That was apparent from the moment they interacted at the bowling alley. They were both very okay with it being a ONS. So I don’t perceive their night as a ‘love at first sight’ scenario.

Kant day dreaming about Bison felt like he was reminiscing on a very good night 😏 + maybe a bit of fondness for Bison’s personality. I was talking to a few mutuals about it and I shared in similar feelings that Kant is intrigued by the honesty and push back from Bison. Maybe he isn’t used to it?

♨️💭 The same can be said for in the bedroom. Kant may see Bison’s ability to put him in his place as an indicator that Bison may be capable of meeting that intimacy desire. I’m not sure how much experience Kant has had with his submissive side or if he’s consistently been relegated/more comfortable dominating or not partaking at all in SM with others (which fair if so, as you need trust).

Bison on the other hand, like I said in his personal post, he wants to be seen for himself. Not as an assassin. I think he’s probably lonely. When Kant gives him attention and is clear about wanting to be his boyfriend, that was appealing to Bison. He’s not clueless though. Kant is too smooth with some of his lines which is why Bison rolls his eyes or teases back. Kant is also consistently encouraging intimacy (maybe with multiple motives). It’s possible for Bison, he’s testing to see if Kant’s affection is real by holding off on more intimacy.

Now is Kant’s affection real? In my perception, sometimes. I feel like he’s a bit too smooth and thought out with the lines. I (personally) tend to trust people who fumble a bit more. It is entirely possible he really is just that smooth and confident without preconceived thought. But when he is quick to offer a relationship title to Bison without knowing him well, while having the police pressuring him to find information, it’s hard for me as the viewer to know what’s genuine or not.

For me, the moments where their foreheads are close to touching seem genuine (could be me being a romantic). Like they’re both overcome with their affection, even if it’s a crush or attraction at the moment.

While Bison IS having his “he likes me 🥹” moment right now, it could partially be a reaction to the attention or a crush. He doesn’t have consistent friends with their constant moves and is used to ONS after all. Bison also didn’t leave his phone number after the ONS and he was worried when Kant initially came to the dinner instead of simply happy so I think he’s not totally gone. He only started showing more openness once Kant made his intentions more clear. But of course that means the brat/teasing side came out to play.

I think Bison’s love will grow slowly as they build trust through moments where trust naturally grows: intimacy, trying to win over Fadel, persistently pursuing in spite of the obstacles, prolonged contact, revealing vulnerable information, etc.

I think it’ll be an internal struggle for Kant as he’ll sometimes forgets his mission and slip into his emotions. I truly think Kant will ‘fall’ in love and have oh sh*t 😳 moments. He’ll be very far in eventually and realize f*ck…I love him.

*Disclaimer: I am a bit of romantic but I tend to overthink various perspectives. No worries if you perceive their romance differently 🫶

🎬 #TheHeartKillers

🎶 Baby I’m Yours by Arctic Monkeys

Like Kant, he doesn’t remind me of any of Khaotung’s previous characters. Bison is unique in being a dichotomy of cute, romantic, chaotic, aware yet hopeful.

I felt mixed about the beginning scene. There’s a part of me that was like “yasss, get it. You seductress.” That expression on his face when hugging the uncle, I’m not 100% sure but I do think he likes to be perceived as attractive and gets satisfaction from it (respect). But I also felt he is resigned to being a decoy in this way and is holding the guy off until Fadel can come in..sigh…he didn’t pick this life. I guess all of the characters are in situations because of others choosing. How they all react to it is different.

On the assassin front, I think he isn’t as reassured as Fadel that they’re killing “bad people”. I think that justification has appealed to Fadel’s sense of justice. I don’t fully understand Bison’s perspective on it yet as he thought it was cool that their killing was in the newspaper. He expresses not wanting to kill but it looks to me to not stem entirely from what’s right and wrong or good and bad. He seems to be dissociating from the moral implication as he knows he can’t leave his current situation at the moment..and he was raised with a different value set compared to the average family.

That flashback told us a lot. Him expressing him self drunk by shooting off rounds in a karaoke bar 😂. He seems to have a large desire to be ‘free’ and find himself. He’s definitely young. It reminds me of Peter Pan Syndrome or Fantasy Prone Personality. Bison clearly had a heavy upbringing, so he does have street smarts or awareness when it’s needed. But because he missed out on his childhood, he’s expressing it later in life. It can make him seem naive or overly romantic but the awareness IS below the surface.

While he does have that younger brother annoyed energy with Fadel, you can tell he loves him. Fadel is obviously protective of Bison but I think Bison would not allow anyone to mess with Fadel as well yet probably handle it more chaotically.

Him at the bowling alley. Love that “don’t bullshit” me vibes. It’s funny coming from someone who frequently fakes his identity but maybe that’s why he calls it out. He craves authenticity and honesty from people because he isn’t living that way himself. He’s down for the fun of a one night stand as it’s typical for his life but anything beyond that is new territory and that’s when I saw that hyper romantic version of him.

Cute him kills me. I’m a sucker for cute. I love both Kant and Bison’s cute moments. I find it funny that they don’t have them as much with each other. It’s like one is confident and flirty while the other is bashful and cute or they’re both suave, teasing and flirting. If they were both simping and cute with matched energy..hmm. When Bison was practically twirling his hair responding to Fadel “🥹 He likes me?” and that’s all he heard. I experienced intense cute aggression. I also felt nervous af with the vibe of what’s to come.

♨️💭 I don’t know the full dynamic yet (sub/brat/dom/top/bottom/verse) so can’t talk too much on intimacy. Bison gives me brat energy (as a brat ☺️). He likes to tease with the whole intercepting the kiss with a burger and pouty with the ice cream. He showed some dominance in the bedroom by reminding Kant he’s not doing it solo and was over Kant at one point. But also relented and joined Kant on the bed and gave some control to Kant in the end. I think the m*sochism will come from a place of control but the opposite of Kant, gaining control. There is a lot of trust and love when your partner gives over that control and trusts you to take care of them while balancing pleasure and pain. I think Bison wants to be loved for his authentic self (whomever that is and he doesn’t fully know). So Kant showing so much trust in Bison will push Bison to fall harder and faster maybe.