I am on break with my boyfriend because od my last behaviors and attacks of paranoia, panic attacks and crying for hours. Everywhere I go, I see part od him. I love him do much, I wanted to fixed this, but it looks like he need some time and consider everything, so we started to behaving like friends. It hurts me do much, i cannot stop crying, my eyes are swollen, i cannot stand up from bed, have been started drinking and got razors, got suicidal thoughts.

I suffer from attacks panic, borderline, depression, PTSD, depression and ED. I have nowhere where. My psychiatrist cannot give meds because the avaible appointments are in the end od February. My family is dysfunctional and I have most important exams on my university. I am not able to study.