Quackerbatch

Can someone who speaks sheet music translate for me?

fast

i can’t believe every father was born today science is truly amazing

Okay but... Why did this show up on my dad's birthday

I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh…hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????

This is really beautiful!!!

but they could be

Math jokes aren’t funny. nothing about math is funny. math is a sin

THIS.

I stand by this message whole heartedly but also I thought this said “I can’t eat applesauce” and I was so fucking confused.

Were it not for ops comment i would not have known that says applause. I was ready to take this post at face value reading that shit as applesauce because thats just what you do on this bitch if a site

she knocked that smug look off my face but luckily i was wearing a second, smaller smug look underneath

Environmental storytelling

its just me, my escapist tendencies, and these tits

The Peel is an offshoot of the Onion but honestly if someone told me this was real slam poetry I wouldn’t even question it