tea and pie

Someone who loves you makes you breakfast. You thank him and eat it despite the fact the eggs are too crisp on the sides and missing much needed salt. He says its how you like it, but that just makes that angry, unfettered itch in the back of your brain grow stronger.

How I used to like it, you want to say, how I used to be.

we can be hurt without someone else being to blame for being the epicenter of that hurt. just because something makes us upset or hurts us, doesnt mean the other person made a mistake or should have done something differently or needs to apologize

negative emotions are an inevitable part of life and sometimes they were always going to happen no matter what because of the situation and there was no way to avoid them and thats okay. sometimes there's nothing to be done to fix a negative emotion or prevent it from happening. sometimes people we love and care about are going to hurt us and thats okay. its a part of being human. we will inevitably do the same to them. but just because we were hurt doesnt mean they did something wrong.

and we can take the time and space to be upset about that privately without involving them in our emotions at all. because even when our emotions are triggered by someone else, that doesnt mean they have to answer for them

I do want to say though that sometimes we need to talk about our emotions to let them go. And that’s okay as long as we don’t attack the other person. Acknowledging it isn’t their fault, but you’re still having feelings you want to talk about is okay.

I was feeling really upset with my friend earlier this week. It had been subtly building for months about something and it wasn’t her fault. Our needs were kind of conflicting though. I ended up talking to her about it earlier this week because holding the emotions back was making them more intense. I had thought I was just having a hard time and they’d resolve themselves. They didn’t. And I didn’t want them to build to a point where they created an underlying resentment or otherwise jeopardize my relationship with her because she is really important to me.

I felt better instantly. She validated my feelings and we actually came up to a solution/compromise together.

The Jesters!

Write the worst fucking version you possibly can and stick it in a folder and forget it for a month or two before you look at it again. You know what you have now?

A first draft. And with enough time to think some new thoughts about it, you'll soon end up with a better, second draft! And eventually, you'll end up with something you'd be perfectly okay with letting other people read!

You'll never believe this process works no matter how many times you do it, but it totally does. You just have to drag your brain kicking and screaming to that blank page and get the bones down first.

It's a confused middle-aged man in a pottery class, whose daughter is helping him with his clay's plasticity. It's a kid scrunching up their brow while listening to their mom's favorite music, trying to figure out why she likes it. It's a girlfriend who says "Yes, I'll go with you" and her girlfriend cheering and buying a second ticket for a con. It's a friend half dragging another friend through an aquarium, the one being dragged laughing and calling out "Wait, wait, I know we're here for the exhibit, but I haven't been here! Slow down!"

bonus: katsuki calling iida out for not having enough freckles when he dressed up as deku

he knows exactly how many freckles izuku has...

when it was just us.