hand on my stupid heart.

You're a hero op

I know those cens lads saw big dick shane hollander in the showers for the first time and wondered what he did in a past life to be the god of hockey with a huge cock

Not where I think I’m supposed to be going with this but in a past life I think Shane was an extremely devout mentally ill monk in some kind of hardcore very ascetic sect and he had st. Theresa style ecstasies from denying himself all worldly pleasures and wearing nothing but sackcloth and eating gruel and whipping himself or calcifying one of his limbs and he was like slightly superior about the other monks struggling with their vows of chastity because he’s never even been tempted to lust after a woman and then he kills himself via a months long self mummification ritual using those juniper berries and his last dying deranged thought on this earth is “I did it. I won. 🥰”

god I just. love ruthlessness as a character trait so much. sexy sexy sexy

I love Shane Hollander. I love how anything other than first place is repugnant to him, how a silver medal may as well be a dead rat for all he wants it. I love that any emotion that’s slightly too strong will bring him to tears and I love that he stubbornly refuses to let them fall. I love how snarky he is. I love that his vocabulary is 60% cursing and how his media persona would never betray that. I love his need to solidify himself as the unofficial face of the NHL. I love that he shoulders the responsibility of winning so entirely that every loss is a personal failure. I love that his true desires are buried so deep he barely ever even allows himself to recognise them. I love how much he loves being filled, how he craves having Ilya inside him, how he can’t let him leave without tasting him, even after he already fucked him. I love how the only time he can truly let go is when he trusts Ilya to bring him physical pleasure. I love his awkwardness and his pretty face and his freckles and his complete inability to communicate effectively. I just love Shane Hollander.