Stop Nuking Me

having feelings that contradict your morals is soooo fucking annnoooooyyyiiingggggg. can the emotions and logic department get on the same page im tired of having to like strangle myself into being a tolerable person

I showed this to my husband and he said he wants four mugs like this in various states of eaten, so he can swap when no one’s looking and make it look like he’s actually eating it.

u can be boiling alive in your mind for months and then on a random tuesday ur head gets so clear and life is worth living again and you're like damn what was all that about then

I love your orange and green SO MUCH and I just ADORE the expressions on blue and yellows faces akskskskak

I’m totally assured that I will not blow my shit smooth off however I cannot stop thinking about it let me eat my damn muffin

a deeply underrated part of the gay taylor swift conspiracy theories is that if they're right and she really has spent over a decade sending subliminal messages based on minute details for people to decode then she's uuuuuh. I mean she's insane. she's jigsaw. she's the riddler. her dad bought her career because if she didn't have music to distract her she would have started building deathtraps.

You know, if I was actually a Machiavellian manipulator I don't think I would actually put out a song with "check it out gang, I'm such a Machiavellian manipulator" as its lyrics, but maybe I'm just not Machiavellian enough to understand the levels she's working on

Humans evolved cuteness aggression as a trait because cute things deserve to die

hungry man thinks of fish thirsty man thinks of water horny man thinks of vagina (Or Penis!) thirsty hungry man things of fish water thirsty horny man thinks of vagina (Or Penis!) water thirsty hungry vagina man is waiting for the touch of his hand straightening petals out without a plan like the every daily

this was originally going to go on @ifucktrees but I was proud of myself