i just took my beautiful daughter Clairitin out to dinner and the contemptuous SJW’s at the taco bell have slipped testosterone in with her Crunchwrap Supreme

Ignore the homunculus in the corner. So did your father love you

Can we please normalize killing 🥺 and maiming 😭😭😭 it's my coping mechanism and it really hurts to see people hating on it.. 💔💔💔

ohh capybara its a dog made of coconut

feeling evil. had a caramel macchiato and now i can cast paladin spells. #girl

sorry for trying to kill and murder you its just that my laundry wasnt dry even though i put it in for a full cycle and it sent me into an apoplectic haze :/ you know how it is

You are not like the unabomber. I don't think you've ever bombed anything. In fact, you're on tumblr.com making posts. The Unabomber would not have done that.

it went “this is the song and the sign of the summertime / this is the log of the lima lime”

i bet on crazy frogs

You guys realize you’re interacting with other human beings on here, right?

I just think that maybe some of you should be like, normal

and by that I mean that like. you need to realize there are boundaries with interactions with strangers

Where I come from, we don’t worry about these fruity-tuity California style buds. Okay? I’m from Scranton. What i’m smoking is dirt. So lets get that straight jack. Pure brick. Ass. Okay? America- Americans are wanting to smoke that dirt, okay? You go up to someone and say, hey, I’m gonna give you a big bag of this heady bud, but I’m taking your stash of mids, they’re gonna say C’mon man! get out of here! *audience cheers* that’s right. that’s right. Get the hell out of here! We like stems! We like seeds! Where I come from.

if i was president and in the middle of an important speech id take out a sippy cup and drink out of it and then go “mm MM MMM sooooooo good !!!!!!” then put it back and carry on like nothing happened.

i really don’t see what all the confusion is about on this one