this is for ap lit 😋
In the world of people who love Taylor Swift, there are some songs in her canon that just stand out. Songs like "All Too Well", "Getaway Car", "Cruel Summer". These songs are simply a cut above, the songwriting and emotions on a different level than others. One such song is "Dear John", an entirely self-written track that details her relationship with John Mayer (which occurred when she was 19 and he was 32). "Dear John"is a devastating song in many regards: it portrays the toll that the relationship took on Swift in heartbreaking detail. And until 2022, that song was the last we had heard from Swift about Mayer. But with Swift's 10th studio album, Midnights, came "Would've, Could've, Should've", a devastatingly precise arrow of a song that comes in swinging and never lets up. If we thought "Dear John"was intense, "Would've, Could've, Should've" is on another plane altogether. Swift pulls exactly no punches, leaving little to the imagination in terms of the song's subject matter and inspiration. It isn't a breakup song so much as an admonition by an older and wiser Swift: she berates Mayer for his actions, and her younger self for getting involved with him in the first place. "Dear John"and "Would've, Could've, Should've", when taken together, paint a shattering portrait of a relationship gone terribly wrong. Swift utilizes violent diction and imagery in order to show the changes in her perception of this past relationship. By placing the blame first on herself, then on her partner, and then acknowledging that it falls on both of them, she emphasizes how the ideas of knowledge, power, and blame go hand in hand.
Her word choice in these songs is very important to their overall story, and the metaphors she employs are no accident. "Dear John" shows Swift referring to herself as "the girl in the dress", an obvious portrayal of innocent girlhood meant to absolve Swift of any blame. Mayer is referred to as a player of "dark, twisted games", painting him as an evil schemer who took advantage of a young girl. Similarly, "Would've, Could've, Should've" uses very violent and vivid imagery in order to show the complicated nature of the relationship. In addition to describing Mayer as an immoral thief, Swift explains that her "memories feel like weapons" and describes dating Mayer as "[dancing] with the devil". These vivid images help listeners to feel the true depths of Swift's pain, and how deeply and lastingly this relationship affected her.
The concept of knowledge, in terms of who is in possession of it in this relationship, is one that Swift explores deeply in these two songs. The refrain of "Dear John" is "I should've known", implying that Swift blames herself entirely for choosing to be in a relationship with Mayer. She sings, "maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame", further insinuating that she was the problem. At this point in Swift's perception of the relationship, the blame falls squarely on her shoulders. However, in the last verse of the song, the refrain changes to "you should've known", showing that Swift is beginning to criticize Mayer's role in the relationship as well. She asks "don't you think I was too young?", a loaded rhetorical question that begins to plumb the depths of their relationship, and question whose fault it is when a young woman gets involved with a much older man. "Would've, Could've, Should've" begins with further condemnation of Mayer and his gaslighting tactics: "you made me feel important and then you tried to erase us". However, as the song progresses, there is an interesting switch. Swift still very clearly blames Mayer for the way he treated her, but she begins to admonish herself as well. She sings "I regret you all the time", implying that she knows she made the wrong choice in getting involved with him, and she would do it differently if she could go back. The knowledge theme is also recurring in this song: "now that I know, I wish you'd left me wondering."
In the universe of Swift songs written about Mayer, the person with the knowledge is the person with the power, and the person with the power is also the person who deserves the blame. In the beginning of "Dear John", she sings "my mother accused me of losing my mind/but I swore I was fine". She is clearly blaming herself here, but later in the song she acknowledges that Mayer, as the much older other person in the relationship, probably had much more power than she did. She states, "you are an expert at sorry/and keeping lines blurry". This is a classic gaslighting technique, which is much more problematic when taken in context: the person doing the gaslighting was 13 years older than Swift. "Would've, Could've, Should've" is a much more complex portrayal of power and blame. The bridge contains the song's most hard-hitting line: "give me back my girlhood, it was mine first". By portraying Mayer as a thief and herself as a victim, she implies that he had all of the power and therefore, the problems in the relationship were his fault. However, she also sings that she was "living for the thrill of hitting [him] where it hurts", signaling that she shares in some of the blame as well. Swift’s more mature viewpoint is apparent here, because she is able to acknowledge that the problems in their relationship were probably not just one person’s fault.
Over the course of Swift's career, many critics have tried to paint her as a seeker of pity, someone who continually paints herself as a victim in relationships in order to absolve herself of any blame. The one-two punch of "Dear John" and "Would've, Could've, Should've" tells a different story, however. Even though Swift wrote "Dear John" when she was only nineteen, and it is undoubtedly the more naïve of the two songs, it is still impressively mature. Swift is able to come to the realization that the fault is not all hers, and she even claims that she will be able to move on and "shine like fireworks/over [his] sad empty town". "Would've, Could've, Should've" is a more complex portrayal of the relationship, written by an older Swift with a more mature point of view. In this song, she acknowledges that a relationship takes two people: both to work and to go wrong. She also uses both songs to explore the ideas of knowledge, power, and blame and how they affect perceptions of past relationships. The violent imagery and diction in both songs serve to bring listeners directly into Swift's tortured headspace: we hear her fury, regret, and lingering heartbreak in equal measure, in such a visceral way that the aftermath feels like that of a boxing match.
