gold

I’m so sick of being thwarted. I swear to you, my next plot shall not go comically awry.

My last 2 brain cells

this is like 7 sucker punches in a row ☠️

might just fuck around and fuck around and fuck around and fuck around and fuck around and f

Look, someone’s gotta be the weirdest person in any given social group and it might as well be me

anyone else w a bad home life read percy jackson in fourth grade and begin a yearlong elaborate fantasy about secretely being a demigod & therefore not related to one of their parents and running away to camp halfblood to live an abuse-free life and also form a genuine connection with people they chose (& have bangin’ powers) or was that just me

if you tip your pizza delivery driver $10 or more they’ll remember your house and offer you protection from mirror world delivery drivers (shadow pizza hut, evil dominos, little caesers)

And I just got paid!

literally every single thing I’ve ever said since day one has been dramatic I have to talk that way or I’ll die

can’t explain it but the kitchen is the most romantic room in a house