Dolly Blue

“I know you have a thing about the woods, but I promise it's not that bad, babe.” He offered you a smile that would have once made your heart swoon but now only made you sulk. It wasn’t quite the same anymore. A little strained, a little tight. It had been this way ever since you told him. Together since high school and married right after graduating, you had thought that your relationship with your husband was nothing short of perfect. He was kind, loving, your biggest cheerleader. Why wouldn’t you believe that he would support you when you told him you didn’t want to be a woman, he supported you in everything else?

But the way his smile faded was anything but supportive. His face, the face that you had loved for years, turned into that of a stranger’s. Maybe because that’s what you became to him. A stranger. You still remembered his voice, the incredulous little anxious laugh he gave like what you had told him in such confidence was a joke. “Babe, you can’t be serious.” You remembered the look on his face when you told him you were, in fact, very serious. He shook his head and ran his hands down his face. “Women can’t be men, babe, and besides, I’m not gay. You’re just confused is all.” So your husband coaxed you, like he always did, into that quiet complicity you always found yourself taking on. There was no reason to break up a marriage over this.

Daniel took one of his hands off the wheel and wrapped his fingers around yours, squeezing gently. “Hey,” You looked at him, into the gleaming eyes of the man you had given up so much of yourself for. “This will be good for us, okay? Some fresh air out of the city, my new job at this station. Everything will be alright.”

You found yourself nodding, slipping into the idea that maybe you could ignore this thing inside of you. Slowly, some semblance of civilization began to appear before you. A small market, a diner, a bar. It all put you at ease. At least you weren’t out alone in the middle of the forest. Your new home was a modest two story house, clearly old and in need of some repairs but all in all decent enough for you to find comfort in. Being homeowners at all at your age was nothing short of a miracle so you certainly wouldn’t complain.

The place smelled slightly like mildew when you stepped inside, something old and a little moldy. You caught sight of the forest behind your house through the window, a pre-paved path disappearing behind the trees. “The old owners must have liked hiking.” Daniel murmured as he set down one of the boxes beside you and slid his hand around your waist to draw you close to him. He didn’t seem to notice the way you shifted with discomfort, so painfully aware of the way your body fit into his the way a woman’s does. He planted a kiss to the top of your head, stroking the hair he had so desperately convinced you not to cut off. “I’ll bring the boxes in and you can start unpacking, yeah?” He didn’t wait for your answer before squeezing the round of your ass and walking off back to the car.

You sat there, staring out into the misty forest through the window as you anxiously twisted the symbol of your commitment around your finger. It sat on your nightstand later that night, gleaming under the solitary lamp that illuminated the body lunging forward above you. Daniel held his hands planted on either side of your head, panting as he thrusted into you. His eyes were all twisted shut, hands gripping at the sheets as he focused on his impending climax. And all you could focus on was how your breast jumped with each of his movements. You loathed the way they looked, the sagging mounds of flesh on a body that didn’t feel like your own. Daniel moved his hand to grip one. You hated that too but still pretended to moan so that maybe this would be over. Of course, you being you, felt endless guilt over thinking something like that. He was your partner, the man you chose to spend the rest of your life with, you should be enjoying this. Why aren’t you?

You closed your eyes to stop yourself from crying as you listened to his labored moans. Daniel sounded like a mammoth when he came. Loud and deep as his entire body shuddered on top of you. It was better this way, to just go to sleep as he collapsed beside you and drew you close and kissed your back while muttering a name that felt so foreign to you.

Maybe if you just went to sleep this would all go away.

-

Daniel left early in the morning for his first day as an officer at the local police station, his departure marked with a kiss on your cheek before watching him adjust his uniform and wink at you. The door clicked shut behind him and you released a breath that you had not been aware you were holding. Your shoulders lowered from their spot beside your ears. A quiet morning was a good morning; a morning where you could just make yourself a cup of coffee with too much sugar and admire the way the sunlight streaked through the gaps in the trees. The forest didn’t seem so scary now, birds singing their overlapping symphonies out of sight, calling you to confront your fear of the unknown. Maybe a morning hike wouldn’t hurt. Just as long as you stayed on the path.

You got dressed slowly, shrugging on a jacket to keep yourself warm. It was cold in the early mornings when dew drops clung to the grass blades and a low fog settled close to the ground. Standing at the foot of the path, feet sinking into the soft soil, you swallowed back whatever fear brewed deep within the pit of your stomach and began on your hike into the forest generations older than you. The trees were as wide as the length of your arm and towered like old gods looking down on your feeble mortal existence. How silly it would be to worry about such trivial things in their presence. Marriage, moving, identity. None of that mattered here. In the wilderness, you were like everything else. Inconsequential and ever important.

Walking the path felt like walking into another time and space. Your eyes kept going up, admiring squirrels jumping from branch to branch, birds swooping down and fluttering between trees, the way the leaves rushed with the early morning breeze. Peace could be found here, you thought. Peace in solitude.

A branch snapped behind you and you jumped like some quivering prey animal, eyes darting to the sound like some feral instinct awoke within you. Just behind you, maybe ten feet away, a large deer stood with great big antlers extending up and out like an extension of the trees. Its big, black eyes stared at you, glisteningly wet and empty as it licked its lips. So entirely still you didn’t even want to breathe, you stared at the majestic animal and watched as it turned it head and began to walk off the path into the depth of the forest.

You thought very little of what you had told yourself earlier. Staying on the path was a minor blip on the great map of your mind as you followed the deer from a safe distance.

You stopped when it stopped, walked when it did, your step matching it’s with precision. You could have been one with it, the way nature finds a way to come back in sync with itself. It stopped in a small opening where the light was golden and its fur shone. Mesmerized, your feet pressed forward as it stared at you. For the first time, you attempted to draw closer, lowering yourself to seem less threatening. Its tail flicked, eyes bright and so beautiful. You saw yourself in its eyes, a version of yourself that you actually recognized.

A loud bang rang out into the air, echoing off of the trees to make it impossible to know where it came from. The deer flinched and trembled then collapsed to the ground.

You were frozen, gaze clinging to the hole in it's side where blood poured out. Any logical person would have ran after so nearly being shot. Had you been a foot closer you would have taken that bullet. But you stayed, you knelt to the ground and stroked it's head as it stared up at you with it's now empty eyes. The one thing that ever saw you as you were. You hardly even noticed the footsteps approaching behind you, rustling through the tall grass.

“That's my buck.”

You flinched at the voice, low, a little rough around the edges. Turning, you came face to face with a pair of worn boots, layered in dried mud up to the ankles. You followed them up the cargo pants that were tucked into them, and your eyes latched on to the rifle hanging off the man’s shoulder. He was tall, too tall in your opinion. You craned your neck all the way back to get a good look at his face. His jaw was sharp, glistening little blonde hairs he hadn't shaved in a bit. There was something written on his lips, something like amusement at the frustration etched into your face. He was pretty though, dressed in camo, messy hair, a thick jacket that did absolutely nothing but make him look bigger.

You stood up. “Why did you kill it?” Maybe you were too emotional about the deer. Maybe you weren't upset about the deer at all.

The man readjusted his rifle over his shoulder, crossing the strap over his head so it hugged his chest. He passed you by and grabbed the deer by its ankles to tie its legs together. “It's a deer. I’m a hunter. That's kind of the whole point, Buck.” You watched him take the rope looped up at his side and wrap it around the deer’s legs. “You’re the one in a hunting zone.” He hoisted it up over his shoulders, not minding the way the blood began to trickle over his chest.

You ignored the name he had assigned to you and looked around to find that you had strayed so far from the path that it was no longer within sight. You were lost and the man was already beginning to walk away with his prize. “Wait!” You began to run after him. “Look, could you just point me to the right direction? I just moved here yesterday and I don't really know where I am.” The man continued to walk, readjusting his grip on the deer. “Clearly. I’d remember a handsome face like yours.” He glanced over his shoulder with a lopsided grin that revealed half a row of straight, white teeth.

You stopped for a moment, stunned by the use of such a compliment. Never once had you heard the word “handsome” be applied to you. You were always “pretty”, “cute”, and “beautiful”, but never handsome. It felt right, like slipping on a suit made just for you, tailored like a second skin. It struck you in a way that left warmth creeping all throughout your body. “I–”

“Should pass the path on the way back to my cabin.” The man spoke offhandedly, a slight grunt to his voice from the weight of his game. “I’m guessing you moved into the old house at the end of it.” Blood was starting to gather on his hands, smeared other the thick veins and tendons that lined them. “It’s not good to stray from the path. Easy to get lost out here if you don't pay attention.” You watched him walk, the broadness of his shoulders, the way his muscles bulged against the fabric of his jacket. Envy clung to your entire being like some slimy thing you couldn't wash off.

“You want help carrying it?”

The man looked back at you, his smile growing wider now. You liked the way the wrinkles around his mouth popped, the thickness of his neck, how much older he looked, how masculine. “You look big and strong enough but I think I got it.” Your chest puffed involuntarily, your head growing dizzy with the euphoria. You could have fainted there, passed out from the sheer weight of your joy.

You followed him closely, pulling your jacket tighter around yourself as if that would make your frame look less feminine. “Have you lived here long?” His hair looked so golden in the early morning sun, the angles of his face becoming ever more defined. You wondered what it was like to be born right, born perfect like he was. You felt something stir in you when he looked at you with those grey-ish blue eyes that looked stormy and interested, like he hadn't been invested in something in ages.

“Too long. But it’s nice here. Small town, everyone knows everyone, everyone leaves everyone alone. Got some great hunting grounds. Wouldn't have caught such a nice buck if it didn't.” There was something knowing in his eyes. He shot you a wink like he was in on your little secret and he would take it to the grave with him. “What brings you here?”

“My husband.” You cleared your throat. “He’s starting at the sheriff's office today. New deputy.” There was something embarrassing about that, of having to remember your husband existed, that you were married, that you packed up your entire life — said goodbye to your family and friends — and moved out here with him for some measly job. That you were some housewife who cooked and cleaned and did everything a woman was expected to do. Humiliation was the word.

The man hummed, something slight and unidentifiable twitched at the corners of his lips. “New deputy.” He echoed.

Soon enough, you found yourself back on the dirt path you had once been following, a clear line straight back to your new home. This is where you would part ways with the stranger you already knew you wanted to see again. He readjusted the stay on his shoulders once more. “Try not to go off path next time, Buck. These woods have a whole lot lurking in them just waiting to eat you up.” The stranger turned and began down the path in the opposite direction you were going.

“Wait!” The word fell out of your mouth before you could think better of it. He stopped and turned back to you like he had expected you to do exactly this. You shied away from his gaze that seemed to claw their way through your skull with such intensity. “What's your name?”

He smiled wide and never before had you found a smile so visually appealing.

“Dex. I’m sure you’ll hear a lot about me, Buck.”

(Y/n’s) hands shook as he traced the linings of his love letter.

It had a red, heart-shaped sticker on the seal flap, with the words ‘To Ushijima-san’ written in royal purple across the back. The letter had slight crinkles from the shaky grip (Y/n) held it with.

His heart raced purely thinking about how Ushijima would react. Would he even react? Or would he just look at him with that blank stare and walk past him? Would he be ridiculed for being a man giving a love letter to another man?

Every single intrusive thought made (Y/n) want to tear up the letter and flush it down a toilet. Nonetheless, he stood next to Ushijima’s locker, waiting for him to appear.

His legs shook. His heart felt like it was going to explode out of his chest. He could physically feel the sweat running down his forehead. He was probably gaining stares from other students for standing near Ushijima’s locker and panicking silently.

All these ‘what-if’s’ was beginning to make (Y/n) second-guess his decision. Maybe he couldn’t do this after all...

No! He had to! He’s been harboring his feelings for Ushijima for years now, and he was getting nowhere! Even if it was rejection, and he certainly hoped it was not, he needed an answer!

Just as if right on cue, (Y/n) heard the familiar deep voice of Ushijima coming down the hall. He wasn’t saying much, but the accompanied grunts of acknowledgement to Tendou’s ramblings was enough proof it was him. Without thinking, (Y/n’s) panic took over him, shoving his love letter into Ushijima’s locker and dashing out of the way.

He blended himself in with the gaggle of students near their lockers, watching Ushijima as he opened his own locker.

“Ara?” Tendou cocked his head when the letter (Y/n) slipped in fluttered out. It landed on the floor gracefully. Ushijima bent over and plucked it off the ground.

“Our Wakatoshi~kun has a secwet admiwer?” Tendou squashed his face together and boared curious eyes into the heart-shaped sticker on the note. Ushijima grunted.

“It seems to be a love letter.” Ushijima’s low voice sent even more panic through (Y/n). He didn’t want to be there while he opened the letter. But here he was, 10 feet away from him as he carefully peeled off the heart sticker from the envelope.

Ushijima’s eyes silently scanned the letter, it’s meticulous, thought-out writing filling Ushijima’s eyes. The silence rang so, so loud to (Y/n), as he watched Ushijima read his love letter with his emotionless face.

After what seemed like forever, Ushijima lifted his head up from the note. (Y/n’s) heart stopped.

“It is a love letter.” (Y/n), and Tendou, deadpanned.

Tendou reached for the letter. “Fiiiiine, then let me see-!”

Ushijima pulled the letter away, raising it above his head and out of Tendou’s easy reach. He lowered the letter and cradled it to his chest.

“No. It’s mine.”

(Y/n’s) heart fluttered. Could this mean-?

“But it does, however, have no name.”

“Awh. Poor Wakatoshi-kun’s admirer must be rewwy shy~”

(Y/n) internally facepalmed. Of course he forgot to sign the note! Why wouldn’t he?! (Y/n) crinkled up his nose. He was still determined to get his feelings to Ushijima.

He turned around, and walked to class. The next day, for sure, he was going to give him a love letter with his signature on it this time.

——

(Y/n) stared down at his paper, then shifted his eyes to the alarm clock sitting tauntingly at his dorm room’s desk, with the bright red numbers 10:35 pm glaring so menacingly at him. Like it was telling him to hurry up and sign the new love letter he just wrote. (Y/n) re-read the letter on his desk for the 6th time that night.

Everything was perfect. It explained his feelings perfectly, explained how long he’d been smitten for him for, hell, he even doodled a small picture of Ushijima himself with a heart next to it in the corner of the page.

Everything was there, except his name.

Did he really want to put his name, though? I mean, (Y/n) saw how...endearing Ushiwaka’s face looked reading his original letter. What if he ruined that when he finds out it was him who wrote it? And not some cute girl?

(Y/n) stared at the empty space on the page where his name was supposed to go. His hand gripped his pencil tighter than he should’ve, and began to write.

‘(L/n) (Y/...’

He stopped. (Y/n) thought about it for awhile, then grabbed his eraser and scrubbed at the name until it was pristine white again.

‘Your secret admirer’

Was all he wrote.

He packaged up the note in another small envelope, pressed a cute little heart sticker to the flap, and went to bed.

——

The next day, (Y/n) made sure to rush to school early to slip the note in his locker. He wanted to see his reaction to his new note. It made him feel sorta high. What kind of face would he make? Would he be delighted? He hoped he would.

(Y/n) crammed the note into Ushiwaka’s locker. No one was around. Good. No one saw him shove the letter through, therefore no one could tell Ushijima it was him. (Y/n) sighed contently, and timpered off somewhere secluded, but somewhere he could still see Ushijima and his locker.

After scrolling on his phone for what seemed like an hour, he heard Tendou’s familiar voice, humming a strange song and trailing next to Ushijima. It was his daily indicator that Ushijima was near. If he could hear Tendou coming, almost 100% Ushijima would be there too. (Y/n) pocketed his phone quickly and peeked behind a row of lockers.

Ushijima silently unhinged his locker, listening to Tendou talk. However, they fell silent when another letter fluttered out from his locker, this time landing so perfectly in his hands.

“Ara ara? Another note from Admirer-chan?”

“Yes. But I know it’s a boy, Tendou.”

(Y/n’s) heart dropped. He watched as Ushiwaka peeled off the heart sticker once more, while continuing his conversation with Tendou.

“Oh yeah? How so?”

Ushijima stopped, and reached into his locker once more. He pulled out (Y/n’s) previous note, and pointed to a line of text scribbled on there so neatly. Tendou raised his eyebrow, and leaned down to inspect the note.

‘-Besides, there’s no way someone as amazing as you can like a guy like me. It’s weird right? I hope you don’t think it’s weird. But I wouldn’t blame you.’

“Ahhhh~ makes sense...” Tendou hooked his arms dramatically over the back of his head. “But do you? Does Wakatoshi-kun think Secret Admirer-kun is weird?”

Ushijima traced the two love letters with his eyes. “I think he’s brave.”

(Y/n) clutched his tightening chest. It suddenly became really hard to breathe. How was Ushijima being so unintentionally sweet?

Tendou cooed. “Awwww, Is our Wakatoshi-kun catching feelings for his Admirer-kun?”

Ushijima folded the two notes back into their envelopes silently. He said nothing to Tendou’s remarks, while gently placing the two love letters back into a safe spot in his locker.

(Y/n) brisk-walked away, flustered, before he could hear his answer.

——

Writing notes and hiding them in Ushijima’s locker became a sort of habit for (Y/n) in the past few weeks.

Every now and then, he’d write a short love letter signed “Your Secret Admirer” or “Admirer-kun” and slip it under Ushijima’s dorm room door or the cracks between his locker. It became an addiction of watching him unravel the note with the tenderness of an angel. For such a big dude, he held each love letter (Y/n) wrote him with such delicacy.

(Y/n) walked with a pep in his step as he arrived to the school building early, like he’d usually been doing. He’d recently been writing small letters, playground compliments like “I think you look nice today!” or “the way you play volleyball gets me all fired up!” but this was the first time in a while he wrote a good chunk of his feelings out.

At first he thought he would make Ushijima uncomfortable, but after many of his personal notes filled with the most wonderful explanations of his feelings, or rambling about dates he’d like to take him on, he’s grown more comfortable with it. Especially after seeing the teeny tiny, barely noticeable blush tinting his cheeks as he read them.

(Y/n) stopped in front of Ushiwaka’s locker. It was a familiar stop, after cramming in letter after letter inside for about a month or two now. It’s been so long that (Y/n) couldn’t even remember himself.

Just as his hand met with the cold metal locker to slip the note in, two hands slammed down on (Y/n’s) shoulders, effectively scaring him shitless.

“I’ve caught you! Secret admirer-kun!”

“Uwaaaah!”

Tendou made a show of flamboyantly pointing his lanky fingers at (Y/n), bending his back father then (Y/n) knew was possible in the process. (Y/n) jittered, swinging his hands in front of him while stuttering incoherently.

“I-it-its not-! It’s not wh-what it-! T-the letter-I was just-I-!”

“There’s no use for it now, Secret-Admirer (L/n)-kun! You’ve been caught red handed!” Tendou stuck his tongue out heartily while (Y/n) broke into a cold sweat. If Tendou kept yelling the whole damn school would hear him.

“I-I’m not the one leaving notes in Ushijima-kun’s locker! I was just-!”

“Oya? Then how did you know Wakatoshi-kun was gettin’ notes in his locker in the first place?” Tendou eyed him down half jokingly. (Y/n) sputtered.

“More importantly...” Tendou dramatically pointed to the envelope half-sticking out from the slits of Ushijima’s locker. “Whaaaaats that!?”

“That’s-!”

There was no use fighting Tendou on this. (Y/n) deflated, defeated and grasping on to the wall of lockers for support. “Uuuuu...”

“So, Secret Admirer-“

“S-stop calling me that! Just (L/n) is fine-!”

“-Secret Admirer-kun, what made you fancy our lovely Wakatoshi-kun?”

(Y/n) turned around, facing the locker as Tendou smiled his usual, Tendou-grin. (Y/n) didn’t wanna look at Tendou and his stupid knowing smirk.

“He’s just...I dunno, he’s just so-cool...and stuff...and he’s so nice...looking...”

“Ah, such sophisticated words-tell me, do you write all of this down in the letters you give him?”

“Hey!” (Y/n) whipped his head around.

Tendou chuckled, and part of (Y/n) wanted to smack him upside the head. Tendous laughter eventually died down, as he pretended to wipe a tear from his cheek. He looked back at (Y/n), who was blushing profusely and had his arms crossed.

“Phew...haha...” Tendou cleared his throat. He pointed straight at (Y/n). “Now, here’s some ultra wise words from Satori-sama!” He mimicked a fake drum roll on his lap, before pointing at (Y/n) again.

“Ja-jun~! You should Wakatoshi-kun how you feel about him!”

(Y/n’s) heart got stuck in his throat. “A-are you crazy! I could never! I-I’m not...I’m not...I’m scared..”

“Hm? But you’re not scared to write about how much you wanna kiss him alllllllll oveeeeeer-?”

“That’s different!” (Y/n) yelled, more quietly this time. He turned back to the locker, and tipped the rest of the note in sticking out inside the slit. The note disappeared through the gap, just like all of its predecessors. “Like this, I can tell him how much I love him without him knowing it was from me! What if he’s disappointed it’s me and not some other dude?”

“I’m veeeeeery sure he won’t be. But suit yourself, I guess.” Tendou shrugged. He turned around and left, but not before saying,

“But you’d better tell him yourself before he finds out from someone else.”

“Wait-what does that mea-“

(Y/n) looked back, only to find Tendou gone. (Y/n) stood there, perplexed, before dashing off to his own locker, so he wouldn’t be spotted near Ushijima’s.

——

Everyday when (Y/n) went to slip another note into Ushiwaka’s locker, Tendou’s words would ring in his mind.

‘You’d better tell him yourself before he finds out from someone else.’

He knew that. He knew that but he couldn’t stop himself from cowardly slipping notes into Ushijima’s locker, just to run and take cover as he opened them up. And one time he could swear Tendou was looking right at him in his hiding spot when Ushijima was reading one of his letter.

(Y/n) shook the thoughts from his head. That happened 3 days ago, and nothing happened. Tendou was probably just trying to scare him into telling him. Yeah. There’s no way anyone could’ve found out about him being Ushijima’s secret admirer.

He huffed and strode up to Ushijima’s locker, just like he did every time before that. No one was in the hallway. There was no footsteps, at least to (Y/n’s) knowledge, and Tendou wasn’t around with his booming voice. If (Y/n) could hear Tendou coming, chances are Ushijima was not too far behind.

Tendou wasn’t there. (Y/n) was safe. He smiled and rose the letter up to the slot in Ushijima’s locker. He slowly crammed the note in, slowly, slowly until-

Slam!

A large, calloused hand slammed against the locker, making (Y/n) jolt up in surprise. (Y/n’s) heart stopped beating. He felt someone lean against his ear, and then they whispered:

“So Tendou was right. You were the one leaving the letters in my locker.”

“Ushijima-kun-!”

(Y/n) whipped his head around by the speed of lightning, pressing himself against the locker wall as if he’d disappear into it. Stupid fucking Tendou! Of course he’d tell Ushijima!

Ushiwaka didn’t move from his spot in front of (Y/n). His arm outstretched on the wall beside (Y/n) didn’t falter either, making him blush even more. God, he wanted to disappear.

The letter, now hidden crudely behind (Y/n) sweaty back, was being smushed as he tried shrinking in on himself.

“I-I-“ (Y/n’s) mouth ran dry. “It’s not what it looks like-!”

“Hm.” Ushijima’s deep voice manage to startle (Y/n), despite being right infront of him. God, he was close. So close. He’s too close. Oh god, why is he so close?

Ushijima suddenly grabbed (Y/n’s) hand, making him sputter in surprise as Ushijima pulled it out gently. A letter with a red heart sticker on the flap was wedged in between (Y/n’s) shaky, sweaty fingers. Ushijima looked at the envelope, while (Y/n) averted his embarrassed eyes.

“...But it’s exactly what it looks like.”

Words perished in (Y/n’s) throat. If the locker would just open up and swallow him whole, now was the time.

Ushiwaka plucked the note out of (Y/n’s) hands, ignoring the small protests of (Y/n) himself. He tried to grab for the letter, but Ushijima held the envelope high above his head and grabbed at (Y/n’s) shivering wrists. (Y/n) squeaked.

“...why are you trying to grab it back if this letter was meant for me in the first place?” Ushijima looked oblivious to (Y/n’s) embarrassment. (Y/n) croaked. He didn’t even register what Ushiwaka said with how strong and warm his grip on his wrists were.

He didn’t realize Ushijima managed to peel off the heart sticker and fish out the note with his hand until he started reading the letter. His eyes scanned the words, even when (Y/n) quietly squirmed protestingly in his grasp.

“Mm.” Ushijima hummed. (Y/n’s) eyes widened when he realized what he wrote in today’s note.

‘Y’know, I think you’re really cool with how you’re so dedicated to your club. But maybe...one day we could grab a bite to eat after your club activities? Just you and me? And maybe if I’m lucky enough I just might get a kiss from the amazing Ushijima Wakatoshi-kun~’

(Y/n) wanted no more but to die then and there. Ushijima looked at (Y/n) with an unreadable gaze.

“Ah. So it seems in today’s letter, you would like to go out for food and kiss. I am free after club activities today at 6. Are you free at that time or must we reschedule?”

(Y/n) met Ushijima’s state with a confused face. He said nothing-he couldn’t say anything. All he could do was muster up a weak “w-wha..?”

“So...you are not free today...?” Ushijima’s face was normal, but he gave off the same vibe a sad, kicked puppy would. It was sorta cute. (Y/n) waved his hands around frantically in Ushijima’s grasp.

“N-no! That’s not it! I-I’m free! I’m totally free! I just-“

“You just what?” Ushijima cocked his head to the side bluntly. (Y/n) opened his mouth to say something, but let it clamp shut quietly.

(Y/n) averted his gaze. “Well...you don’t think it’s...weird that I was the one leaving you love letters?”

“But I already knew you were a man in the first place.”

“Still!” Ushijima was genuinely confused. (Y/n’s) voice died down a bit.

“Aren’t you...y’know...disappointed?”

Ushijima’s gaze never left (Y/n’s) eyes. “Why would I be disappointed?”

“I’m...w-well...it’s just...”

Ushiwaka placed his free hand on the other side of (Y/n’s) face, effectively trapping him in between his arms. Ushijima’s heavy gaze was too much to bear. (Y/n) instinctively averted his gaze away.

“You still haven’t given me a valid reason to be disappointed.”

“I-“

“You’re lovely, I believe you are very attractive, and you leave nice letters of encouragement in my locker everyday.”

“Wait-“

“I believe we both have feelings for each other. Therefore, I do not see why you are so hesitant on just doing what today’s lovely note said.”

“Ushi-“

“Is this just an excuse to turn me down? Were the letters not your true feelings? Because if so you just have to say so-“

“Ushijima-kun!”

(Y/n) rasped out between his fingers. He was covering his blushing face, and Ushijima didn’t know why until he realized his face was centimeters away from (Y/n’s). If it weren’t for (Y/n’s) hands cupping his face, they’d probably be able to kiss with one push closer.

“P-ple-please s-step back...”

“Oh. Sorry.”

Ushijima moved back, but didn’t quite move his arms from their positions on either side of (Y/n). He blinked. Silence engulfed them both, Ushijima bluntly staring at (Y/n) as he blushed and blushed into his hands.

Ushijima figured he should say something, and even open his mouth to speak when (Y/n) suddenly piped up, bringing his hands down from his face.

“I-I’m free...at 6...”

Ushijima blinked again.

“Ah. Today?”

“Yeah..!”

“Lovely. It is decided then. Will you wait for me at the gym after practice? If not I can pick you up from your dorm room.”

(Y/n) fought the urge to pinch his arm to see if he was dreaming or not. “I-I can meet you at the gym!”

Ushijima smiled gently, and that’s probably the first time (Y/n’s) seen him smile ever. It was so coaxing, relaxed and warm, (Y/n) wanted to take of picture of it and just stare at it for days. Ushijima let his hands fall to his sides. Not before giving a pat to (Y/n’s) head.

“It is decided then. It’s a date.”

(Y/n) had to remind himself to thank Tendou later.

——————

Defeated, Barbs tries to be happy for you. But he’ll be happy for you about 15 feet away from you and your familiar at all times.

He sees how ecstatic you are around your new pet, so he makes attempts at becoming more comfortable with your new friend.

But if you EVER sneak up on him with your familiar, ya done f’ed up. It will be the first and ONLY time you hear Barbatos scream in pure fear.

He won’t speak to you for a week after that. *sad MC noises*

Partially because he’s upset, but mostly embarrassed. Even Barbatos was unaware of how high his voice could get.

He will make a point to use his ability to see into the future to avoid being spooked by the both of you again.

One time your familiar scampered ahead of you on your way to have tea with Diavolo.

Barbatos heard the front door of the Demon Lord’s Castle shut and turned to greet you while finishing setting up the table.

He is stopped by a small squeak coming from below. 

Frozen in place, his eyes travel to his feet where the rat is happily chirping up at him.

*stone-faced silence*

Barbatos calmly walks over to one of the many doors he uses for time travel, sticks his head in and…you think he screams. Tea time was cut pretty short that day…

Fantastic MC, you must really enjoy adding layers of stress to Barbatos’ worn down soul.

The anxiety of seeing your familiar does lessen over time, but please respect how hard he is trying.