pumpkin starch

You felt lightheaded, and your heart pounded in your chest - your breath falling shallow. Starscream knelt before you, his warm derma on your hand, looking up at you both hungrily and desperately.

“There’s something I need to show you.” Starscream averted his gaze as he stood up. With your hand still in his servo, he led you outside. Out in the backyard, he mass displaced into his true size, then transformed into his alt mode. His cockpit popped open, and you climbed into him without saying a word.

Once you got comfortable in the seat, a seatbelt wrapped around you, securing you in place. You wrapped your hand around it gently, peaking over the glass after it shut you inside.

“Um, where are you taking me?” You finally managed as you looked around at all the unfamiliar buttons and controls, searching for any semblance of a ‘face’ you could speak to. Could he even ‘see’ you like this? “It’s getting late, I have work tomorrow…”

“You’ll see.” His disembodied voice replied, seemingly from all around you.

As Starscream began to lift off, you tensed up as memories flooded back to the last time he took you flying. You gripped the sides of your seat tightly, backing yourself into the seat as far as you could.

“Human… it’ll be okay,” he said gently, his tone easing you a little. “I’ll behave. I know you’re fragile.”

When Starscream would describe humans as fragile, it was always in an insulting manner. However, the softness in the way he said it that time felt… scared, maybe even protective.

The last time you were in his cockpit, Starscream felt like he had an intruder in his system that he had to purge. This time, his processor was completely focused on the warmth of you in that pilot's seat, your hands wandering around in spaces he never would’ve even thought he could feel. Your presence was so close to his spark, and it made it difficult for Starscream to think straight.

“You’re scaring me, Star,” you laughed, your heart still beating fast. “What’s gotten into you?”

Starscream grumbled, dipping before stabilising himself. “Nothing has ‘gotten into me’, I just… argh, be patient!”

You smiled, adjusting your position as you peaked over the glass. Beyond the fields and farmland, in the distance, shone the twinkling city. You’ve been on planes before and seen the city from above plenty of times, but something about the shared solitude with this sentient jet… it felt intimate in a way you never would’ve imagined.

“It looks so small from here.” You said quietly to yourself.

Starscream didn’t respond. His spark spread warmth through him as you admired the distant city in awe, the silence between both of you comfortable.

About 15 minutes passed before Starscream began to descend. You had trouble telling where you were from so high in the night sky - that was until Starscream landed, transforming carefully around you. He held you in his servos before he carefully placed you on the ground, and as you looked around, you realised where he had taken you.

“My plane spotting spot…” you slowly turned to Starscream, who had mass displaced and stood awkwardly before you.

“Human, I…” Starscream furrowed as he averted his gaze, “…I hope you understand what I’m trying to convey.”

“Starscream… you’re killing me,” you chuckled nervously, the statement causing Starscream’s wings to flick up. “Why? Do you… do you know what you’re doing?”

“Do you think I’m stupid?” Starscream countered as he knelt down before you again, taking your hands in his as he looked away. “Human, spending these last few months with you has been… confronting. I thought maybe I was just… weird, for feeling the way I do about you. I thought it was temporary. But I’ve… heard rumours of an Autobot romancing a human… and I thought, maybe it’s not so… far-fetched. But I’m Starscream… that kind of thing is below me. Or so I tried to tell myself…”

“Star…”

Starscream simply vented as he looked up at you again, his expression sincere.

Your eyes swelled with tears, your heart threatening to explode. You leaned forward, wrapping your arms around his neck as you fell to your knees, meeting him face on.

Starscream’s arms hovered over your waist for a moment, his wings twitching behind him before he hugged you back. Despite his steel form, the hesitant gentleness in his grasp was painfully apparent.

As your soft, organic body pressed up against his chassis, Starscream’s spark faltered and pulsed. He could feel his servos shaking as he tried to find leverage on your waist, but in the back of his mind, he felt as if he couldn’t bring himself to do that. Holding you in his servos was one thing, but actually holding you like this… it was different. Balling his servos into fists, shielding his claws, he deepened the hug just the smallest bit. His servos tightened, yearning to hold you like he imagined. But he wouldn’t allow himself that much. For that moment, having your warm body pressed against him was enough.

The two of you stayed like that for a moment, the entire scenario replaying in your head until you felt him shift against you. You pulled away as Starscream reached up to his own faceplate, hiding his blush beneath his servo. You couldn’t help but let out a small giggle at the sight - his brow ridge furrowed, his optics looking anywhere but you. Even his engine seemed to rev, flushing warm air over you as he whirred.

“I’m not good at this either,” you reassured, taking his free servo and holding it in yours. “I don’t have much experience… I’ve only had, like, two partners in the past. Neither of them were… well, you know…”

“Kings?” Starscream smiled crookedly, attempting to lighten the mood.

You chuckled, “Precisely.”

Plane spotting with a jet was never the type of first date you would have imagined, even after meeting Starscream. The two of you spent a few hours just silently watching the planes coming in and out, his true size providing you with plenty of space to sit with a nice view. You nestled into the mesh of his neck, the cold night air sending chills through you. Between each plane that came and went, you found your attention lingering on the small details of Starscream’s build. The seams of his armour, the intricate workings of his biomechanical form. Your gaze wandered to his helm, the way his vents framed his angular face, the way his faceplate was like metallic skin. He yawned - or the Cybertronian equivalent of a yawn - and you immediately noticed sharp denta, almost like a vampire. You looked away quickly, still shy about even looking at him for too long. After a few moments, you looked back at him again.

You weren’t aware, but he could see you gawking at him the entire time in his peripherals. He turned his helm, giving you a sultry smirk, showing off his fangs. When you tried to look away again, he gently nudged a digit against your cheek, making you look at him.

“I could see you staring the whole time, you know.”

“Oh god,” you hid your face in your hands. “How embarrassing!”

Starscream chuckled, “I like it. Continue to admire me.”

“Starscream…” you half laughed, half groaned. Smiling came so easy to the both of you in that moment onward, despite a different type of tension building.

“Where have you been, huh?” Skyward greeted Thundercracker with a wicked smile as he flew into the Nemesis.

“None of your biz.” Thundercracker countered, sticking his glossa out.

“Seen Screamer?” Skywarp followed as Thundercracker walked through the corridors to the meeting room.

“…No.”

“Hmm…” Skywarp teleported in front of Thundercracker, stopping him in his tracks. “Y’know, Megatron has been getting impatient with him. Thinking of stripping him of his title.”

“Hey, he said he was scouting for energon deposits. Earth isn’t exactly rich in it like Cybertron was. Give him time.” Thundercracker shrugged, pushing past his brother.

“Tell that to Megatron, not me.” Skywarp cackled.

Thundercracker stopped. He tightened his servos into fists as he growled, his wings taught behind him. He turned to Skywarp, but he was gone. “Glitch…”

Megatron sat on his throne, looking into a hologram of Earth. He spun it around absentmindedly, letting out a big vent. Behind that hologram, Skywarp materialised like an apparition, startling Megatron.

“Primus, Skywarp…” Megatron held his servo over his chassis, “You gave me a spark attack.”

“Sorry, my lord. I come before you about Starscream.”

“Really? What in particular?” Megatron turned the hologram off, leaning forward as he waited for Skywarp’s reply.

“I don’t want to doubt Soundwave’s abilities or honesty, but as Starscream’s trinemate, I sense that what he said was not entirely true.” Skywarp began, perching himself against the table before Megatron.

“How so, Skywarp?”

“Megatron!” Thundercracker barged into the room, prompting a growl from Skywarp.

“Thundercracker, Skywarp was just talking to me. Can’t it wait?” Megatron stood up, towering over both seekers.

“Not really, sir.” Thundercracker glared at Skywarp.

“Fine. Out with it.”

“It’s about the attacks you’ve been planning, on the human settlements…” Thundercracker suddenly felt small as Skywarp and Megatron’s predatory optics settled on him. “Um, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Why not? We need energon, and to get it we must make ourselves known. Discretion and secrecy hasn’t gotten us very far now, has it?” Megatron approached Thundercracker. “Starscream may think he’s doing us good, but how much has he brought back to the Nemesis?”

Thundercracker furrowed his brow, his optics darting between his leader and his estranged brother.

“I think TC’s silence has proved your point, sir.” Skywarp smirked. “Now, may we get back to our chat?”

Megatron waved off Thundercracker as he retreated to his throne. Thundercracker’s wings twitched as he grumbled, leaving the room dejectedly. Is that how Starscream had felt since the beginning of this war?

As the blue seeker walked for his berth, he bumped into Soundwave. As he apologised and continued on, a thought popped into his processor. He turned around, running up to Soundwave and tapping his shoulder.

“Thundercracker.” Soundwave greeted, though confused.

“Soundwave, I need to ask you a really important question. Was Starscream telling the truth?”

“…” Soundwave turned his helm for a moment, then back to meet Thundercracker. “…affirmative.”

“Okay, look, I’ll be honest with you,” Thundercracker grabbed Soundwave’s shoulders, pulling him close as he stared into that untelling visor. “I know he wasn’t telling the truth, and I know you covered for him. Why?”

“I do not know. I recognised foreign emotions within Starscream. Maybe I felt… happy for him, somehow.” Soundwave shrugged.

“Soundwave, he’s in love. I need your help to convince Megatron against attacking human settlements. Can you help?” Thundercracker pleaded, his optics piercing into Soundwave’s visor.

“I do not see the correlation. I am loyal to Megatron.”

“You had to have had a logical reason to cover for Starscream, and… there is correlation between the two things. Just help me out, won’t you?”

“…” Soundwave stepped back. He looked around for a moment. “I will consider it.”

“Oh, thank you!” Thundercracker cheered, throwing his arms around Soundwave and lifting him off the ground. “I knew you weren’t completely emotionless!”

“Emotionless: is reserved for Shockwave.” Soundwave vented, “I said I will consider…”

“Right,” Thundercracker laughed, placing Soundwave back on the ground. “Sorry.”

“…” Soundwave walked away, leaving Thundercracker somewhat hopeful.

You and Starscream had returned home, both giddy but so tired. You got into some pyjamas, and before you went to bed, you opened your window to say goodnight to Starscream.

“Thank you so much for tonight, Star…” you yawned. “I… still feel like I’m dreaming.”

Starscream raised a digit up to you, ruffling up your hair in an attempt of a pat. You giggled, grabbing hold of the digit tip to make him stop.

“Goodnight, human.” Starscream huffed. His optics were half lidded, and a small smile was curled over his derma - an expression that you’d never seen on him before.

“Goodnight Star,” you brought the tip of his digit to your lips, giving it a small kiss before letting go. “Thank you again.”

Starscream huffed again, more aggressively. He stood up and turned away, “It’s nothing…”

The previous night’s revelation had shaken you to your core, making it hard to both fall asleep and get out of bed the next morning. You wrapped yourself in your blankets, closing your eyes as you reflected about those taboo feelings - aside from the fact that Starscream is an alien robot, he was also incomprehensibly older and larger than you. Yes, he could mass displace, but his true size was just so… big. Irresistibly so. You covered your face with your hands, scolding yourself as sick ideas popped into your head.

“Human? You’ve been in your berth for a while,” Starscream’s voice broke you out of your daydream. “Are you alright?”

“I’m okay!” You shouted, your heart hammering against your ribs.

“If you don’t get up soon, you will be late for work.”

“Oh shoot,” you quickly shot out of bed, grabbed your uniform and hastily put it on. “Thanks for reminding me!”

Starscream sat patiently by your kitchen window, watching as you fumbled while making some toast. As you sat at the table to eat, you held a small mirror up to your eyes as you quickly applied mascara. Starscream tilted his helm - you weren’t always this disorganised.

“What has gotten you all discombobulated?”

You looked at his optics piercing through the window, your lips puckered as you applied lip gloss. You felt so much more vulnerable basked in that red glow, so much more aware of the fact that it was you he was staring at. You swallowed as your heart began to beat faster again.

“Uh, just…” your attention snapped to your watch, the time saving you from making a poor attempt at an excuse. “Ah, I really gotta go! See you later, Star!”

You ran out of the house and to your car. Starscream stood over your house, watching your car speed off over the hills. He vented once you were out of sight, transforming into his alt mode before taking off into the sky.

Returning to the Nemesis felt harder than it usually did. Dread weighed heavy on Starscream’s shoulders as he approached, adjusting his posture to parade a false bravado. Megatron was surely waiting to berate him and his absence, but Starscream knew he couldn’t avoid it forever.

“There you are, Screamer.”

Starscream looked over to the voice, where Skywarp leaned lazily. He pushed himself off a wall, circling Starscream like a shark.

“Where ya been?”

“That’s classified,” Starscream replied in a low, stoic tone. “Where’s TC?”

“He’s around,” Skywarp stopped behind Starscream, looking at his wings closely. “You look great, considering the beating you got.”

“I heal quickly,” Starscream’s voice cracked, his wings tense under the suspicious gaze of his estranged counterpart. “I learned a thing or two from Knockout, despite what you might think.”

“Mhm,” Skywarp stepped back around to meet Starscream face-on. “Megatron is waiting for you. Don’t disappoint him. Well, more than usual.”

Starscream pushed past Skywarp with harsh intention, ignoring his cackle as he walked on. He approached the meeting room, dread building up further as he stared at the door. He could hear his other ‘teammates’ in there, trading plans with Megatron, even passing words on attacking human settlements. The mere mention made his wings twitch and his chassis rise - a few years ago, he would’ve been the one to bring up the notion. Yet, as he thought of you, his spark twisted.

Just as he was about to open the door, they slid open to reveal Soundwave on the other side.

“Starscream?” his monotonous voice echoed through the room, turning helms to see.

“Soundwave…” Starscream’s wings drooped, his voice shaking. He tried to keep his thoughts under control. “How lovely to see you.”

“Long time no see, my Second in Command.” Megatron approached with heavy footsteps, looming over Soundwave with a wicked smile.

“Lord Megatron.” Starscream gritted his denta as he bowed, his servo hovering over his chassis.

“Haven’t been plotting my demise again, have you?” Megatron stepped in front of Soundwave, staring down at the Second in Command. “Dare I say, with the Autobots?”

“No, Lord Megatron. Never.” Starscream felt a panic course through his systems, trying hard to keep his body calm in response.

“Soundwave, confirm.” Megatron ordered.

Soundwave turned to Starscream, their optics meeting. Starscream stared into his visor, his false bravado faltering as Soundwave scanned him.

“He is telling the truth.” Soundwave looked at Megatron.

“How surprising,” Megatron chuckled. “Where have you been, Starscream?”

Confused by Soundwave’s conclusion, Starscream took a moment to collect himself. He perched up with more confidence, “I have been surveying areas for energon. I have yet to come across large deposits, but I plan to scan further areas.”

“Truth.” Soundwave confirmed again, causing Starscream to furrow his brow ridge at Soundwave.

“Perhaps I misjudged you once again, Starscream.” Megatron placed his heavy servo on Starscream’s shoulder, causing the seeker to flinch.

“May I have permission to continue my mission, Lord Megatron?”

“Of course. Report back when you find a deposit.”

“Yes, Lord Megatron.”

Starscream turned, the weight of everyone’s stare heavy on him once again as he stepped away.

He stopped. Turning slowly, he cleared his throat, drawing attention back to himself.

“I… couldn’t help but overhear some plans to attack human settlements.”

“And?” Megatron stepped closer to Starscream, his stance imposing. “Is there a problem?”

Starscream clenched his jaw and straightened his posture. He opened his intake to say something, but his voice halted. He scanned over the other Decepticons, their optics fixed on him.

He cleared his throat again, “No, sir.”

“Good. You are dismissed.”

Starscream’s wings drooped as the door slid shut, leaving him alone in the corridor. He gritted his denta and tightened his fists as he growled, kicking the door before storming away. Just as he approached the exit, a servo on his shoulder stopped him. Starscream turned around, smacking away the servo with a snarl.

“What?!”

His shoulders dropped as he realised who it was. Thundercracker’s brow ridge arched, reeling his servo back as he looked timidly to the ground.

“Thundercracker, I… I didn’t realise it was you.” Starscream lowered his servos, taking a small step closer to his blue counterpart.

“I should’ve said something.” Thundercracker flinched backwards, continuing to avoid Starscream’s gaze.

“What do you want?”

“Starscream, where have you been, really?” Thundercracker looked up, hesitant to look straight into Starscream’s optics.

“I said it before, I was surveying-“

“I know you better than that,” Thundercracker interrupted. His words reverberated through the corridor, leaving a fleeting silence between the two seekers. He lowered his voice, “Please tell me.”

Starscream vented, “Follow me.”

Thundercracker nodded, trailing behind Starscream as they left the Nemesis. They transformed into their alt modes, taking it slow above the clouds before Starscream finally spoke up.

“I’m only telling you because… well, you’re really the only one I trust to tell you this. You know those human books and movies that you’ve gotten into?”

“Please don’t tease me about it again…” Thundercracker groaned.

“I’m not, but… I don’t blame you if you tease me for what I’m about to say.” Starscream chuckled half-heartedly.

“Where is this going?”

“There’s this… human… who has been taking care of me.” Starscream said reluctantly, growling at the end of the sentence.

Thundercracker laughed, “What? Taking care of you? Starscream?”

“Yeah yeah, let it out now.”

“Why? I mean, how? How did you… form that kind of relationship between you and a human? You’re not forcing them, right?”

“No,” Starscream snarled. “I want you to meet them. You… have a soft spot for human life.”

Thundercracker was silent for a moment. Then, his engine stalled before he flew ahead of Starscream.

“You like them,” he exclaimed, and despite the vast solitude of the sky, Starscream quickly shushed him. “I never thought I’d see Starscream have a soft spot for… well, anything!”

“Thundercracker…”

“You… you are aware of the size difference right?”

“Thundercracker!” Starscream snapped, “You’re reading too much into it!”

“Sorry, it’s just… strange.”

“I know… but I’ve seen your little diary, pervert.”

“Huh?”

Upon returning home, you headed straight for the lounge room. Expecting to see Starscream lounged out on a recliner, you wondered for a moment if you were so tired that you were seeing double. Sprawled out on your lounge was both mass displaced Starscream and… a blue Starscream. The two Starscreams were watching a sitcom, chattering among themselves in their native language, presumably trying to figure out the nuances of the jokes.

“Um… Star? Who’s this?”

Starscream and Blue Starscream turned their helms to meet you, the blue one smiling innocently.

“Ah, human,” Starscream stood up, ushering the blue one to do the same. “This is my brother, Thundercracker.”

“Oh, good… I’m not seeing double!” you chuckled as Thundercracker approached you, shakily grabbing your hand in his servo before pressing his derma onto the back of your palm. Your breath hitched, your cheeks instantly heating at the action.

Starscream’s wings twitched, keeping his optics keenly on your hand.

“It’s uh, nice to meet you…” Thundercracker smiled timidly as he stood up straight, slightly taller than Starscream. You were purely dumbfounded - he looked exactly like Starscream, and the fact that there were essentially two of them in your house made you a fumbling mess.

You giggled nervously, “N-Nice to meet you too, Thundercracker! Star has told me a lot about you!”

“Has he, now?” Thundercracker looked over at Starscream, who simply huffed and averted his helm.

“No, they’re lying.”

“Um, well, uh… is there something in particular you need?”

“Starscream wanted me to meet you. Perhaps we get to know each other better?”

“How… uh, what… what did you have in mind?” You asked, your heart racing.

“Um… talking?” Thundercracker chuckled, sitting himself back on the couch.

“Oh, right, ha!” You laughed awkwardly as you sat on the couch beside Thundercracker.

Starscream frowned as he slowly sat beside you, slightly closer than he normally would. He watched Thundercracker like a hawk, warning him to behave.

Your mind was hazy, being sandwiched between Starscream and Thundercracker. As time went by, you managed to calm down and engage in the conversation easier, turning into a real chatterbox.

Starscream didn’t even notice that he was lazily smiling, watching you yap on about yourself and your curiosity in Cybertron. However, Thundercracker noticed. While he may be the nicer one among the Decepticons, he was still a Decepticon. He stretched his arms above himself, and in a cliche move, rested one over your shoulder. He glared at Starscream with a small smirk, prompting a quiet snarl from his counterpart.

“I would love to watch more human entertainment,” Thundercracker started, ignoring Starscream’s audible denta grinding. “I only have a small supply back on the Nemesis, but what do you recommend?”

“Um…” you tried to gather your thoughts, the weight of Thundercracker’s arm over you distracting you from any ‘normal’ train of thought. “I uh, I really like Ghibli films… like Laputa or Princess Mononoke.”

“Interesting, I’ll have to check them out. Do you have them on DVD that I could borrow?”

“I-I do, actually, let me get them!” You stood up, taking a moment to remember where you kept your DVDs. “Um, they’re in my room, I’ll be right back!”

A few moments after you left, Starscream snapped his attention to Thundercracker.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He whispered with venom.

“You haven’t told them how you feel, have you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Are you blind? They clearly like you back, you dunce!”

“Don’t be stupid,” Starscream chuckled, “that’s impossible.”

“Is it? I thought it was impossible for you to return to your old self, let alone love anyone. Who’s to say what’s possible?”

Starscream froze, Thundercracker’s words cycling through his processor. Was he right? Or just psyching him out?

“Here you go,” you walked back in, holding out the DVDs to Thundercracker. “Do you need a DVD player?”

“No, I’ll be fine. I’ll burn these onto my data pad and return them to you when I can. Thank you.” Thundercracker bowed as he stood up, heading outside.

“Oh, are you leaving?” You asked, almost dejectedly.

“Yeah, I think Megatron will start to get suspicious if I’m gone for much longer.” Thundercracker chuckled. “Thanks for introducing us, Starscream. I’ll come visit sometime soon.”

“TC, wait…” Starscream stood up, meeting Thundercracker at the door. He whispered in Cybertronian, “Are you sure? About… me and the human?”

Thundercracker nodded with a smile.

“Thundercracker, please… convince Megatron and the others against attacking human settlements. Please.”

Thundercracker rested his servo on Starscream’s shoulder, “Of course, Starscream. I’ll do my best.”

“Thank you…” Starscream said, almost inaudibly.

Thundercracker’s optics widened at the words. He rubbed Starscream’s shoulder briefly before pulling away, leaving the house and taking off into the sky.

There was a dense air that settled once Thundercracker left. You swallowed hard before breaking the silence, “He was nice.”

Starscream didn’t respond. You looked at him, and the way he was looking back at you almost scared you. He approached you slowly, reaching for your hand before kneeling before you. He raised your hand to his derma, shaking as he looked up at you with faltering bravado.

“Star… scream?” Your voice shook, your heart threatening to jump out of your throat.

“Human… I…” he mumbled against your palm, the warm give of his derma sending shivers through you. “I’m… bad at this.”

Eyes set on the moonlit horizon, you sat curled in one of your outdoor chairs, caressing your own arm in a feeble attempt to calm down. This was the third night, and Starscream hadn’t returned. You would sit outside, restlessly watching the yard all night until you either passed out or you had to go to work. You knew he was capable, he’d been around for millions of years - but worry gnawed at the back of your mind and overtook any reasonable explaination.

As your eyelids were succumbing to fatigue, and as your head slowly nodded to sleep, a bright red light flashed in the sky, followed by a sonic boom. You jolted up, your head following the tail of light across the sky. It arched down, then began to zig-zag before it crashed over a hill. You stood up quickly, your heart pounding in against your ribs and with adrenaline coursing through your veins, you just ran. You jumped over each fence that stood in your way, even if the barbed wire caught on your pyjama pants and cut your skin, you just barged through like your life depended on it.

As you reached the top of a hill, you saw the crash site, and your stomach twisted. The familiar, winged form of Starscream slowly rose from the fire, yet when he tried to walk, he stumbled. You slid down the hill, huffing as you approached the burning crater. Starscream snapped his head as he saw something approaching him, instinctually aiming his null ray toward you.

“Starscream!” you shouted, stopping at the threshold of the fire. You huffed heavily, the dry tang of iron strong in your throat.

“Human?” Starscream lowered his weapon, gaining enough strength to walk out of the crater. He stumbled and fell beside you, holding one of his arms tightly.

You ran over to him, your hands shaking as you placed them on his helm. You looked over to his wounded arm, where pink fluid oozed from between his fingers.

“What happened?”

“Just a… disagreement,” Starscream let out a weak chuckle, wincing as he stood up again. “I’ll be fine.”

You looked him up and down, your eyebrows arched in worry. He had several dents and open cuts, even one of his wings was crooked. He shifted, grunting as he knelt down to better meet your eyes. He held out his wounded arm, turning over his servo. You hesitantly stepped on, holding onto a digit as he shook. He stood up slowly, looking around at the landscape before meeting your gaze.

“Starscream…” your voice was shaky and quiet, “I think… I think you should go to the Ark.”

“What? Don’t be ridiculous,” Starscream spat. “I said I’ll be fine.”

“Please, Star…” you pleaded softly, turning away from him in an attempt to hide your teary eyes.

Starscream’s spark twisted and ached. You came all this way for him, despite the danger. You looked awful, with those dark circles under your eyes and your hair knotted and greasy. You were covered in blood, dirt, and grass stains, dressed in those sleeping garments. Were you waiting for him? The very possibility of that thought caught Starscream off guard. His wings drooped behind him as he nudged your head to look at him.

“Fine. Lead the way.” He said begrudgingly, yet his voice seemed softer than usual.

Your eyes lit up, and you couldn’t help but cry and hug one of his digits. How could such a foreign life form care so much for him?

It was a slow journey to the Ark. Starscream had to stop every few minutes to give himself a moment to rest, but you kept reassuring him to push through. It was early morning by the time you and Starscream finally reached the Ark. Starscream stumbled at the entrance, trying his best to carefully place you on the ground before collapsing. You turned to the giant door, banging your small fists on it as you called for Jazz, Optimus, anyone.

The transition of the door opening and several Autobots arguing before taking Starscream inside was a blur - you knew he could get help, and your body didn’t have to stress anymore. You fell asleep on a giant table as Starscream was hauled off into another room.

-

You woke up in the warm familiarity of your lounge room. You sat up quickly, throwing the blanket off of you as you made for your front door. You were stopped when someone grabbed the back of your shirt.

“It’s fine, human. I’m here.”

You looked back, calm washing over you at the sight of Starscream’s mass displaced form sitting on a recliner. You sat back down, running your thumb over your knuckles as you glanced over at Starscream. His wounds seemed to be welded and buffed out, but he still looked pretty out of it. His jaw worked as he mustered up enough courage to ask what had been on his mind.

“Why are you so… worried about me?”

“Um… well, I care about you,” you shrugged, like that statement was so casual. “I guess I’ve grown to really enjoy your company. You worry about those you care about.”

Starscream clenched his jaw, averting his gaze as he tried to understand why you cared about him.

“I don’t understand,” he began with a vent. “I’ve threatened you twice now with my null rays, I insulted both you and your kind, and yet you persist…”

You took a deep breath before leaning over to him, shakily placing your hand on his thigh. He turned his helm, meeting your eyes. You smiled softly, “Starscream. I’ve forgiven you for those things. You need to forgive yourself.”

You could see his optics darting back and forth, searching through his processor for something to say. After a few moments, he just let out a quiet chuckle.

“Thank you.”

You both smiled at each other, something shifting in the air between you. After a few moments, you stood up and stretched.

“I’m going to go have a shower, I feel so gross…”

Starscream stood up, “Let me help you.”

“What?” you stepped back, heat rushing to your face. “No, no! That… that won’t be necessary, I can do it on my own!”

Starscream frowned, tilting his helm. “Your kind is so confusing. Fine, I’ll wait here.”

You let out a sigh of relief, “Thank you.”

Starscream sat back down on the recliner, crossing his legs as he watched TV. You grabbed some clothes and headed to the bathroom, locking the door behind you just in case he got too curious. As you stood under the water, you wondered why he seemed so bothered by your refusal. It wasn’t like he was missing out on anything, and you were certain that he wouldn’t want to see a naked human… right?

You stepped out of the bathroom in a fresh set of pyjamas and a towel over your damp hair. You sat back down on the couch, noticing that Starscream wasn’t in the recliner.

“Star?” you called out, fear creeping up again.

Starscream walked through the archway leading from the kitchen, your favourite mug in his servo. His wings flicked up proudly as he placed it on the coffee table, offering you what looked like… tea?

“Wow, um, Star… you didn’t have to do this,” you smiled as you brought the cup to your face. You took a sip, tensing up at the intense salty flavour that dried up your mouth. You discretely let the liquid dribble out of your mouth as you let out a strained hum of enjoyment. “I uh, um… it’s a bit hot right now, so I’ll let it cool down. Thank you, though. I really appreciate it.”

Starscream had a smug smile plastered over his face plate as his wings flicked. “You’re welcome.”

He sat down beside you, leaning back against the soft couch. He looked over at you, a puzzled look on his face as his optics flicked up to the towel on your head, then back to your face.

“Why did you refuse my help?”

“Oh,” you looked away, patting the towel on your wet hair in nerves. “I uh, humans are um… vulnerable when we clean ourselves. A lot of us prefer to be alone, as it can be… embarrassing.”

You looked back at Starscream, your heart dropping as you noticed him glancing away, his wings drooped behind him. You gripped the towel and arched your brows, “It’s not that I don’t trust you! I just… um… it’s really intimate to be seen naked. You guys would have something like that, wouldn’t you?”

Starscream reluctantly met your gaze again, curling his derma inwards as he hovered his servo over his chassis. “We do, actually. My apologies, it seems… we still have a lot to learn about each other’s species.”

You glanced at his servo, how delicately he placed it over his cockpit. That didn’t make sense - you had been in there before, and it didn’t seem that special. Your heart skipped a beat, then a thought popped into your head - does his kind have hearts?

The thought quickly left your mind as you looked over at the TV. Onscreen, there was a man and woman on the beach, lounging on the sand as their toned and tanned bodies glistened in the bright sun. You slowly looked back at Starscream, judgement wrinkled in your brow.

“Were you watching reality TV?”

As Starscream opened his mouth to deny your claim, a fight broke out between two women on the show, full on hair pulling and lots of audio censoring.

“It’s awfully entertaining,” Starscream shrugged with an almost wicked grin. “I thought that’s what TV was for.”

“Star, it’s all staged. Watch a sitcom or something.”

Starscream then repeated what you said, but in a mocking, high pitched tone.

“Hey!” you laughed as you punched his arm, “I’ll take away your TV privileges if you do that again!”

Starscream did, in fact, do it again. The sound of your laugh combined with your uncharacteristic roughness made his spark thrum in a way it hadn’t in millennia.