I have to vent
I have literally not been on tumblr in I don't even know how long. This past January my mother suddenly became ill and less than a week later she was just gone. So here I am, navigating first-time-motherhood (my baby was about 9 months old at my mothers passing) now without my mom who helped me at the drop of a hat with literally anything. She was supposed to retire 4 months later to be full-time Mimi. It really fucks me up because I didn't grow up with grandfathers and neither one of my grandmothers could be bothered to give a fraction of a fuck about my sister and I.
I get so mad because THOSE miserable hags lived into their 80s and 90's hating being grandma. My mother LOVED being Mimi to my baby and niece, and she only got to be Mimi for ONE YEAR.
That's not fair.
When does it get easier? Every night all I want to do is call my mom; to tell her all about all the new things my baby is doing, about my new job, about anything. And I just can't. I miss her so much.
