YOU ARE THE REASON
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@pululintu
At work my coworkers are middle aged ladies and now that it's World Cup there has been a lot of talk about hot football players. I wanna say so bad that yes they are hot af etc.
But alas I am a teenage part timer boy who ain't about to risk outing myself so I shall admire athletic men in solitude :(.
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Man I love going on summer night rides with my motorcycle and just enjoying the empty roads, nature, warm weather, freedom, and borderline speeding
I fucking hate being trans. It is 2am I am depressed. I am wearing a binder and probable gonna sleep in it cause i can't handle not wearing it rn. I am gay and fully aware no gay guy will love my deformed body. I am 16 yo teenage boy who just cried because he tried to jerk off and could not feel his dick. I live in a country that makes it almost impossible for minors to get hrt. I feel so alone cause I have nobody who actually understands the struggle I go through.
Sometimes my hope for the future starts slipping.
Happy pride to my miserable gay ass.
To all my nonbinary pals let me introduce you to the best way to wrap a towel around yourself gender neutrally. The adventurer™ It might leave a bit of stuff hanging out or a bit of butt but man do you feel cool with your cape as compared to the other peasants.
Why tf do doctors only hang out with other doctors? Like my mom is in a doctor only knitting group, has gone on multiple doctor hiking trips and is in a doctor recycling/flea market group.
Also I feel like every doctor vaguely knows each other. I have had a lot medical shit and my mom is always, oh that doctor was at med school with me and oh he was specializing with me etc.
Just today I found out about a gay couple of psychiatrist that live near us and farm petunias with their child?? Goals tbh, but why are doctors like this???
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How the fuck does gender euphoria feel and why do people experience it?
I am a binary trans man and have been aware basically since I was very young. I have never experienced euphoria. Like I started as a happy unaware boy that was just living his life until puberty fucked him up. Ever since have been dealing with crippling dysphoria that is slowly killing me. Only thing I ever experience that could be even close to the euphoria people describe is mild relief that I have gotten when I eg. changed my name legally and bought a binder, but I doubt that is what people talk about.
Like the thing I don't get is the intense happiness people get from things like dressing up or such mundane things. Like I personally experience them like any cis dude would and not in any special way. I am like, nice I look good. The way I feel is either intense distress and suffering or a neutral feeling. Like ain't that the goal to reach the ability to live normally in a body that does not discust you? Is feeling normal gender euphoria?
This is not attacking anybody who does experience euphoria but I am just curious, why?
I went in my summer job with the children to like multi sports field that they could play like, basketball, pingis, etc. The children were a bit bored but it was overall quite fun.
There did show up this maybe u21, hockey team and they played field hockey shirts vs skins style. So my gay ass was blushing so damn hard trying to guard the children while these muscular ass hockey players were playing shirtless next to me. Like fuck those dudes got pecks.
Man I always thought that the Rasputin song went like: Ra ra Rasputin lover of the Russian king. But apparently it is the Russian queen.
I have just always since I was a child been headcanoning Rasputin as gay and not that I hear it again I'm disappointed.
Happy pride to every trans person struggling to get the medically lifesaving care they deserve due to their fucked up country, medical system, transphobia or any other messed up situation.
We will get through this and get the help we deserve
Ya boy is employed and tired af. I swear I'mma collapse if I'm asked to play more uno or especially football. I am like meh at football, but to these kids I'm fucking Ronaldo.
Generally it has been great but this one child did try to pinch my nipples when he got mad I think???? Some children are difficult but so was I so we ball. A child who weighs like 20kg is no issue lol.
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Fuck I wore my binder for like 40h+ and it rubbed against my underarm really bad.
Nothing I can do about it I'mma wear that tomorrow again cause I have work. I know I have fucked up binding habits but there ain't nothing I can do about it cause it is that or basically no other option.
it's that time of year again 🌈🇫🇮
I feel like what my parents fail to understand about me wanting to buy hrt diy is that telling me not to and the very real reasons about why it is dangerous doesn't sound the same to me and them.
How they perceive it: Don't buy testosterone
[don't buy medically dubious substance online and risk legal issues along with your health.]
How I perceive it: Don't buy testosterone
[Don't buy the help to your pain, don't buy relief after years of constant suffering, don't buy salvation, relief and the end to worsening mental health and suicidality.]
I understand and am aware of all the risks concerning diy and have taken them to account but a life is more important than a risk or a life. The suffering lessening is worth any price to me. This is a reason why strict blocking of trans healthcare doesn't work. People either get help underground or die.
Gatekeeping never stopped trans people from hrt. It only made it more dangerous and killed people. Preventing one or even thousand people from regretting transitioning isnt worth a single person's life but it has cost thousands.
I love how my country and doctors have just decided that oh yes let's have this teen boy suffer from life threatening dysphoria and you know what let's also have the process take so long that he will be 20 when he gets any form of help. And oh, let's also prevent him form accessing any other care while trying to get help from us. And also let's have the the system be abusive, do medically unnecessary things and take fucking years. And yeah diy hrt is illegal and risks cps getting called :)
Yeah Finland the happiest country on Earth (if your not trans, or other minority or jobless or poor, or an immigrant.) But yeah our country is great. Ignore that other stuff it doesn't exist and only affects the minority so who cares am I right 🙂
I am gay and employed for the whole of pride month. This sucks ass and unfortunately not in a gay way.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I love how children have no clue what my job is as I just play with them and get paid for it. I am too young to be a teacher so this one lovely boy tells his mother: "I am playing chess with this, looks at me, man. "
Good job dude but maybe don't make it sound like I'm a kidnapper lol. I pass really well to children tho and haven't gotten misgendered once. This is going way better than I thought, as my brain is constantly screaming about my voice and chest.
They did threaten to soak my dick with water guns tho. And asked me if I had a girlfriend.
Children are great lol.
I am not that emotional of a person but there is this one plant in our house that I would probably cry if it died. I am extremely emotionally attached to its well-being.
It is like a jungle plant not sure what kind but it is fucking prospering. It is probably thousands of kilometers away from the right habitat in southern Finland but that plant grows like one leaf a week and has multiple side branches. We have donated parts of it to multiple people and it just keeps growing all year round. I love how it is so cool and resilient and the absolute best under shit conditions. My mom takes care of it cause I don't dare to. It has like doubled in size from the time we got it and just keeps on growing. We might have to trim it if it gets to big but the plant isn't hindered by such things.
I love you plant and I don't know how the hell are you surviving in the -2 months of sunlight Finland actually gets. No other plant can reach your might and glory and I hope you prosper for generations to come.
Found out it is called a dumb cane which I think is highly offensive for such a great plant. Those scientists don't know of its glory
