gay and tired

I fucking hate being trans. It is 2am I am depressed. I am wearing a binder and probable gonna sleep in it cause i can't handle not wearing it rn. I am gay and fully aware no gay guy will love my deformed body. I am 16 yo teenage boy who just cried because he tried to jerk off and could not feel his dick. I live in a country that makes it almost impossible for minors to get hrt. I feel so alone cause I have nobody who actually understands the struggle I go through.

To all my nonbinary pals let me introduce you to the best way to wrap a towel around yourself gender neutrally. The adventurer™ It might leave a bit of stuff hanging out or a bit of butt but man do you feel cool with your cape as compared to the other peasants.

Why tf do doctors only hang out with other doctors? Like my mom is in a doctor only knitting group, has gone on multiple doctor hiking trips and is in a doctor recycling/flea market group.

How the fuck does gender euphoria feel and why do people experience it?

I went in my summer job with the children to like multi sports field that they could play like, basketball, pingis, etc. The children were a bit bored but it was overall quite fun.

Man I always thought that the Rasputin song went like: Ra ra Rasputin lover of the Russian king. But apparently it is the Russian queen.

Happy pride to every trans person struggling to get the medically lifesaving care they deserve due to their fucked up country, medical system, transphobia or any other messed up situation.

Ya boy is employed and tired af. I swear I'mma collapse if I'm asked to play more uno or especially football. I am like meh at football, but to these kids I'm fucking Ronaldo.

Fuck I wore my binder for like 40h+ and it rubbed against my underarm really bad.

I feel like what my parents fail to understand about me wanting to buy hrt diy is that telling me not to and the very real reasons about why it is dangerous doesn't sound the same to me and them.

I love how my country and doctors have just decided that oh yes let's have this teen boy suffer from life threatening dysphoria and you know what let's also have the process take so long that he will be 20 when he gets any form of help. And oh, let's also prevent him form accessing any other care while trying to get help from us. And also let's have the the system be abusive, do medically unnecessary things and take fucking years. And yeah diy hrt is illegal and risks cps getting called :)

I love how children have no clue what my job is as I just play with them and get paid for it. I am too young to be a teacher so this one lovely boy tells his mother: "I am playing chess with this, looks at me, man. "