rosey-hued and see through

the time has come

don’t check my vibes mind your fucking business

sometimes i think we put too much value on witty comebacks that we forget the value and usefulness of a good “shut up”. not every online dweeb’s gotta be taken down with shakespearean precision, sometimes you just gotta say “okay shut up” and then just block em.

there selling CHOCOLATES 

Yesyesyes that’s so close maybe thats from the same episode? Homer’s much more calm tho

THATS THE BITCH

John Oliver releasing a childrens book about mike pences bunny at the same time as mike pence but making the bunny gay is such a power move

quitting my job to focus on getting sluttier

Fact: A lot of people are confused about what bisexuality is or what it means to be bi. To clarify: “bi” is short for the word “bike” which in itself is actually short for “bichael”. We hope this clears things up.

perfection

Daaaaaamnnn life, back at it again with the bullshit.

who wants to fling my awful body into the sun

unbelievable. i have to do everything myself