Jet City Woman

if youre attractive and you talk to me first, chances are im very confused

“What’s the password?” “Is it… is it ‘dog’?” *muffled meeting behind door* “You may enter.”

a gentle reminder that you aren’t a disappointment. you aren’t a failure. no one knows how hard u try and you’re doing so well. you deserve so much better.

just wanna drive to the beach in sweats & a blanket & sit on the shore w/ someone & have a deep convo enjoying the oceans view & sounds

i live for older girls who take care of you and give you advice on weird things w/o judging bc they’ve experienced it and are just so warm. my only goal in life is to be that for others one day

I’ll never get over how great this joke is.

No one is ever thinking about the cringey stuff you did in the past because they’re too busy thinking about the cringey stuff they did in the past

Apparently this is actually good for kids’ brain development. It trains their speech receptors and they learn language faster. 

My favorite lifehack is I’m never too polite to take leftovers from any event. “Please take leftovers,” the hostess says, and everyone diffidently murmurs something about the size of their fridge, but I am already sweeping an entire basket of bagels into my tote bag. I gather there may be some unspoken rule of upperclass etiquette that stands in people’s way but listen. Break free of your chains