Excuse you, my jokes are hilarious. Where does a general keep his armies? ā¦.In his sleevies.
Where do you even get these from? They sound like something straight out of those weird joke books I used to read when I was 8.
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@puckermanelijah
Excuse you, my jokes are hilarious. Where does a general keep his armies? ā¦.In his sleevies.
Where do you even get these from? They sound like something straight out of those weird joke books I used to read when I was 8.

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Paired greatly with my lack of social skills, Iāve decided to start off any attempt with a joke. So, that said, what do you call a clever duck?
ā¦.a wise-quacker
And I thought my jokes were bad.
txt mssg: olivia x elijah
OLIVIA: Uh-huh, I think you're just trying to cover up that your lame ass went to bed at 9pm.
OLIVIA: Yeah, it was an alright night, but I've had better. What'd you do instead?
ELIJAH: Not true! My phone died, I swear. And lame ass? That's not what you said the other night.
ELIJAH: Oh, you know- snorted some weed, smoked an alcohol. The usual. No, I played video games and then crashed. Pretty standard night for me.
A charmer, I see. Nice to meet you, Eli. Pounding headache sick, and yes that sounds lovely, because Iām told I canāt trust Jackās cooking.
Why thanks. I'd like to think so. You too, other Fabray.
I think I know the dude you're talking about. I'll whip something good up for you.
Guess who found $100? Did you say Nikki? āCause youāre right. Iām $100 richer. You jealous or nah?
How did you just find $100?

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Getting sick isnāt how I planned to start the day.
Oli's sister, right? I can tell 'cause you're just as beautiful.
I'm Elijah, but call me Eli. What kinda sick are you feeling? I've been told Ā that the chicken soup I make is amazing, if you need anything like that.
What makes it worse? Pokemon Y was in it. God damn it.
ā¦Why did you drop it in the toilet? Did just that. Now I have to wait. Heās strong, heās gotta make it.
Ouch.
My dumbass roommate spilled water on the bathroom floor one time and didn't clean it up, so I slipped when I walked in.Ā IĀ play my DS on the toilet. Don't judge. How'd you get him messed up? Same thing?
txt mssg: olivia x elijah
OLIVIA: Any plans tonight? A few of us are heading to a nightclub, if you wanna come.
[the next morning]
ELIJAH: Shiiit my phone died last night, sorry babe.
ELIJAH: Hope you had a good time though. :)
āhummingbird heartbeat - elijah x olivia āæ
TAGGINGā Elijah Puckerman.
TIME FRAMEā Wednesday, August 13th, 2014.
THE LOCATION ā Eliās apartment.
GENERAL NOTES ā This is kind of lame and terrible, so try to love me anyway.
Crap, crap, crappity crap. Is there any way to save a waterlogged DS and game? I need the Nintendo ambulance to come and bring mine to hospital, stat. Little Ace isnāt going to hold out for much longer.
That kinda hurt to read, bro.
I dropped mine in the toilet once. Bag of rice, 24 hours. Little Ace might just live to see another day.

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āhummingbird heartbeat - elijah x olivia āæ
TAGGINGā Elijah Puckerman.
TIME FRAMEā Wednesday, August 13th, 2014.
THE LOCATION ā Eliās apartment.
GENERAL NOTES ā This is kind of lame and terrible, so try to love me anyway.
āhummingbird heartbeat - elijah x olivia āæ
TAGGINGā Elijah Puckerman.
TIME FRAMEā Wednesday, August 13th, 2014.
THE LOCATION ā Eliās apartment.
GENERAL NOTES ā This is kind of lame and terrible, so try to love me anyway.
āhummingbird heartbeat - elijah x olivia āæ
TAGGINGā Elijah Puckerman.
TIME FRAMEā Wednesday, August 13th, 2014.
THE LOCATION ā Eliās apartment.
GENERAL NOTES ā This is kind of lame and terrible, so try to love me anyway.
āhummingbird heartbeat - elijah x olivia āæ
TAGGINGā Elijah Puckerman.
TIME FRAMEā Wednesday, August 13th, 2014.
THE LOCATION ā Eliās apartment.
GENERAL NOTES ā This is kind of lame and terrible, so try to love me anyway.
Woah, people are actually following me on this thing?
Well itās nice to meet you, Eli.
Hell yeah, dude. I think Iāve seen you around, too.
Right back at ya, Chris.
Cool. If you ever want a jam sesh, you should totally hit me up.

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Woah, people are actually following me on this thing?
I like you. What are you doing later today?
I approve, very much so. You better treat me more nicely. I may be badass like Harley, but Iām not a fucking pushover like her and I will kick your ass if you get out of line. But I do trust we wonāt have any issues there. I donāt know if itās rude to ask, but you canāt speak? (Totally not judging you or anything, just making sure I read that right.)
Actually, I was hoping to spend some quality time with this seriously beautiful girl I just met. Blonde hair, hazel eyes, cute smile- you know her?
Of course, I wouldn't expect anything less. Nah, it's cool. People ask all the time. I was born mute. It's not all bad, though. A lot of ladies really dig the sensitive silent types.
Woah, people are actually following me on this thing?
Whenever youāve got the time, Iām sure Iāll be able to fit you into my schedule.Ā
Oli and Eli, nice. Why do I get the feeling that Iāve just found a new partner in crime? Eliās good by me, though Iām sure āhandsomeā will probably be slipped into our conversations a few more times accidentally. Or purposelyā whatever.
I don't think I'd ever not have the time for someone like you.
That's probably because you have. You can be the Harley to my Joker- although I'll treat you much nicer. Trust me, beautiful, if I could talk you wouldn't hear the end of it from me.