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sick burns

#i read the first one to the tune of my dick by mickey avalon

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septictankie

liquorinthefront

#broad city #friendship goals

joleebindo-blog

Well, you know, to say that he couldn’t harm somebody with what he did—he could, absolutely, he could. But to cast him out, to make him invalid in society simply because he has scissors for hands—I mean, that’s strange. People didn’t get scared until he started sculpting shrubs into dinosaur shapes and whatnot.

CNN booked Twitter comedian Jon Hendren (@fart) instead of Al Jazeera reporter John Hendren for an interview about Edward Snowden, and he answered all questions as if they were about Edward Scissorhands.

[video]

(via joleebindo)

i’m honestly screeching at the entirety of this

(via communistcoppola)

me: *opens Facebook app*

facebook: you tryna show everybody this slideshow of your titties?

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jasonmantzoukas

when b99 does The Thing

????????

me

#me when im going dt i gotta save everything i can for when im tryna get the d at 2am

sinfilth-moved

self care is drinking 3 pots of coffee and getting into a knife fight w god

eadrik

you: amy dunne overreacted

me: ok but he literally made her move to missouri

#missouri is hell on earth

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hilarioushumorfromouterspace

fdsfjdsfjkf93723679267-deactiva

champgn

sadhearts

me: feels sad for literally 5 minutes

me: doesn’t go to school, calls into work, impulsively buys shit i don’t need, ruins all my relationships

#me today

hellyeahcharlieday

#always sunny

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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booksfunquotes

#i cackled at this

bigspender

can ppl like……… stop having a concept of me in their head ……… no object permanence here…..i only exist when im right in front of you….. no memories allowed. thx for understanding.

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