this is litteraly a spiral i get in every week..

“never kill yourself” is such a funny phrase to me that i think it’s accidently started working. its like an affrimation. say ‘never kill yourself’ enough times as a joke and maybe you won’t try to kill yourself over minor inconviences anymore

there’s something very beautiful about being able to try again tomorrow

I have been trying tomorrow for the past 3 years

and you still have tomorrow to try again

ohhhh i get it now. the little seed of loneliness i’ve carried with me since i was five will never go away

I still mourn the inner child in me I had to kill just to survive.

i don’t think people understand how much of life is grief. not just people dying, but losing the version of yourself you thought you’d become. grieving the city you had to leave. the friends you lost not in argument, but in silence. the summer that will never come back. the feeling that maybe you peaked at 12 when you were reading books under the covers and believing in forever

Currently doing an Insomniac's Gambit. For those of you who don't know, this is when you mess up your sleep schedule badly enough that you attempt to fix it by skipping an entire night of sleep then going to bed at a reasonable hour the next day. Crucially, it does not work

in my slut era. (i can't even start a conversation)