In the darkness, In the daylight
Loki Laufeyson x reader (you)
warnings: break up, feeling alone, melancholic but happy ending, poetry (made by me), fluff, angst, regret, distance, asshole Loki, mean Loki, body insecurity, loki is an bitch but he gets better, smut, details of genitals, sex, p in v, praise, a lot of praise. Sweet Loki, lovable Loki and non loveable Loki.
I would like to thank Dorothy for requesting this, you are a star! this is for you. @purple-amaranthe
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I know this is no coincidence
A feeling of tightness in my chest
Would not be of significance
If it wasnât for your oppressed conquest
I wouldâve trusted that smile you gave for me
and the softness in your eyes
at night I thought it was our destiny
but now I wonder if this was only for me, it underlies
but all I see is me dancing with another body
so where is our intertwined melody
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A perfect melancholic scene of rainfall and loud rattles of thunder late at night is surrounding you, every couple of minutes of silence that would be held, there would be a bright strike of lightening outside your bedroom window. Though, you found it very relaxing, distracting you from why you were laying on your bed staring up at the ceiling as thoughts flooded your mind.
The sound of beeping and echoes of computers in the study, keeping up with automatic requests your father, Tony Stark had set for the day .while the avengers were out on a mission, leaving you to the tower aloneâŚwell you had Jarvis who reminded you every couple of minutes when they would be back.
As soon as you heard the front door click open you instantly escaped out of your bedroom and ran down stairs to find them.
Your heart was beating rapidly, hoping all of them were back but most importantly the one who stole your heart the second he laid eyes on you, when he was imprisoned downstairs in a cell because he had beenâŚrather bad.
Your father, Tony had set you up to âbabysitâ Loki when he first came to the tower. Tony said that the God had been bad and he didnât trust him to not escape.
So, You took the opportunity because out of everything, Your father didnât let you do anything. So here you are, tiny girl who wanted to be involved bossing a 6,2ft man around.
Your father wasnât involved in feeding Loki so you took upon yourself to cook for him instead, it was like they all forget about the God locked up in this tiny cell with nothing. You even brought down a mattress and pillow and blankets if he got cold.
At first you knew he was only being benign with you because he wanted to escape. However after a while you found yourself trusting him, he let you inside his cell and you even ate with him, he read books to you, and even napped with you if you found yourself falling asleep to his reading.
However after the team heard you rattling on about how the God was letting you inside his cell one afternoon at the dining table, they went crazy.
Speaking of how Loki was not your friend, nor was he someone to be friends with or even be near, they started wondering they shouldâve stopped you even babysit him.
With every inch of worth that HE taught you, you had you screamed at the top of your lungs about how he wasnât like anything they were saying, he wasnât a villain, and certainly wasnât a monster, he is just misunderstood and needed a true friend.
They didnât trust you for a while but when they started seeing you smiling more and more they  knew you werenât lying.
Some wondered if Loki had put a spell on you, his brother was most concerned about this.
After a few months, they let him out of the dark cell but only if he would join the avengers and he agreed. They thought it was because of you, and that was thoroughly true.
However they didnât realise how close you two had become, he was now your first everything.
You hoped he was your last everything too.
But now youâre not too sure.
You got to the last step where you hung your hand on the banister of the staircase, watching as they all entered the room.
âHello Lady, Y/n. Had fun by yourself? Thor winked at you as he went past causing you to roll your eyes. âNo not reallyâ you chuckled a little as you laid your head on the railing, until you saw the raven curls you could spot anywhere.
You quickly jumped off the last step when you found yourself excitedly looking up at the God Of Mischief, who hadnât even acknowledged you were there.
âHow was it?!â You smiled happily, since you were finally able to see the man you missed all day long.
âFine, it was fineâ he nodded, looking down at you for a split second before he walked past you.
âReindeer games can you hand me the objects we found, so we can investigate them?â Tony waved over Loki as your heart was threatening to break.
For a while now, youâve realised the distance in him. He never seemed to be around, even if he was physically sometimes it didnât seem like it..it seemed like it was just one of his illusions.
You missed his warmth, the soft kisses he gave you every second of the day. There was not a single moment he went without kissing you or telling you he loved you. He was always clinging to you, holding your hand or touching you anywhere possible.
It didnât feel like he was emotionally here with you, either.
He seemed to not care about you anymore, usually he would tell you how much you meant to him, or how special you are or how much you a worth. How you and him were foreverâŚ
Though none of that happens anymore.
Now the most you get from the God is a nod or a simple bitter remark sent your way.
Though you knew Loki can be bitter but he was bitter sweet with you. Now he was just a bitch.
You were beginning to wonder if the God had fell out of love with you and to tell the truth you could see why. You were only mortal, nothing special, you knew you were barley on the chart of standards in Asgard.
Plus, he was a God worth the prettiest Goddess in the world.
And that was not you, itâll never be you.
You werenât only loosing him, he was loosing you.
With the fall of your smile you ran upstairs to your room and slammed the door.
The tears threatened to fall as you paced back and forth, your bare feet meeting the cool wooden floor.
All you could think of was; why do you try so hard all the time and nothing ever works out for you, why did the world seemingly hate you all the time. For the first time you thought the world was on your side.
You heard footsteps follow outside your bedroom door, hearing the door open and close behind you.
You threatened to turn around and face him, but you took the risk. Staring at him with storms in your eyes, tears soaking your warm cheeks.
He didnât even look at you at first until he wondered why you were staring at him for so long.
âWhatâs wrong with you?â Loki stared back at you, with a clean face but anger in his eyes.
You spotted it right away because those eyes you didnât recognise.
âWhatâs wrong with me?â You seethed, almost chuckling to yourself.
âI canât do it anymore Loki, I am sorry. I canâtâ you shook your head.
âWhy do you keep me locked up in your mind as if I donât matter to you anymore?! I understand that we thought that was best if we didnât speak of our love out loud at first but you were still there with me⌠now youâre not anymore. The avengers love you now so I donât understand why youâve turned the tables on me..as if I am a secret hidden in a drawer.â your eyes stung with hopelessness.
âFor fuck sakes- Youâve got to be so indulgent in yourself all the time. I have finally got my life back and youâre sitting here crying because Iâm not giving you attention. This is all you do, stay in this tower and do nothing, why would I want to show you off, There is nothing to show offâ He spat back at you.
For a moment it struck him more than you for what just came out of his mouth.
You just stood there in shock, it hurt more because he knew it wasnât your decision, you werenât aloud to do anything.
âIâm sorry I didnât mean that-â he began to walk over to you but you immediately took a step  backwards.
âNo- I-â you gasped. âIs that really what you think of me? Is that why you wonât touch me? Because you think Iâm too fat for you? Wow, that was cruelâŚâ you pushed past the God but he grabbed your arm
âThere was no fucking- your Loki. I told you the first time you met me, I am a Monster y/n. A monster.â He bent down a little to you, A wide unsettling smile formed on his lips that met his eyes.
âNo youâre- So youâre saying you used me, thanks Loki. Great. Fuck youâ you screamed. âOh please donât, I would rather fuck a horse than you, I couldâve fuck this whole town and you wouldnât knowâ he seethed making you gasp. All the trust you ever had in him or the words he said to you now had faded. âgood!!!, go fuck a stupid horse. Get out of my roomâ you screamed but he wouldnât let you go but you wouldnât look back at him, you couldnât.
âLoki, please let me goâ you began sobbing instantly and thatâs when he really realised what he had done. âY/n I am so so so sorry, I didnât mean- youâre not-â he tried to pull you into him but you just sobbed harder. âPleaseâ you finally looked back at him and he instantly let go of you.
For the first time he saw the hurt in your eyes that was caused by him, he was suppose to be your personâŚforever. He had promised.
âI didnât mean thatâŚy/n I truly didnât. I am so sorry- I just I was so scared I was just going to loose youâŚI know itâs my fault I am sorry. I promise darling-âŚâ he quickly followed after you but you slammed the door in his face but he hurried after you, once again.
âYou said it yourself you donât need me Loki. I am worthless to you.â You turned around to face him and left him in the darkened hallway. âYou have lost me, I am doneâ you looked over your shoulder before slamming the door of the bathroom, where you cried and cried till you could no more.
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A few weeks have past, and wellâŚYou havenât been doing well, at all. Spending all your days and nights in your bedroom, not proving Loki wrong because you knew he was right.
Though you had to pretend everything was okay because no one knew you and Loki were a thing. But everyone had noticed the change in youâŚthat smile Loki had brought out on you had completely vanished but they also noticed how quiet you were now. Â
Thor noticed this especially. He was your first friend within the group of avengers.
He did try his best to talk to you or make you laugh but there wasnât anything you could say because they didnât know about you two.
ButâŚthen there were times you had to come out of your room.
Unfortunately it was worse than staying in your room all alone each day.
Loki was always there when you were, it was like a curse. His back was always turned to you but as soon as he felt your presence he would turn to face you. Though you would force no eye contact between the two of you, even if there was a split second you would have his eyes on yours.
He felt awful for how he treated you, he knows you didnât deserve the words he said but he was angry at himself, so he threw harsh words at you, he knows it wasnât the right thing to do at all, which is why he decided to leave you alone.
Your cries hurt his soul, he could hear your cries at in his nightmares, keeping him up at night, only to be reminded he was the one who caused you pain,
And if it couldnât get worse..though he kept to his word. The God started bringing women to your own home, that looked nothing like you, to your old shared bedroom and at night you could hear him fucking her, Â her moans and screams of his name.
And now, here you are at the front lines of your mind, trying to be the bravest solider for yourself but you donât know how long itâs going to last.
This shouldnât be happening
and the bright glow in me
cannot be found in my heart
when will I start something new
I can no longer chase after it
Iâm reading my name on a grave stone
And this shouldnât be happening
From this never ending catastrophe
All I am doing is dangling my feet
Iâm so afraid Iâll jinx it
The spark of hope at the end of my fingertips
Can not draw out the plan I wished to have
And I donât think itâll be returning
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Unfortunately you had been asked by your father to attend one of his speeches, to come along beside him and say a few words..
The entire day you had been in fitting rooms with Natasha, finding the right gown for you. You werenât necessary a gown or dress kinda girl but you felt like a princess in the ones you had to choose from.
âNo, no no you look like a child in this one. Y/nâŚ.pleaseeee we both want you to show off your natural beauty, youâre beautiful girl but no one has ever seen you in your natural light. Plus we may..just may get someoneâs attentionâ she winked, making your insides churn as soon as she mentioned the one person who you wanted to never see in your life ever again.
âWeâve got to get that Chloe girl out of this building and quicklyâŚ..â She gripped your hand before spinning you around. âPerfectâ she nodded.
Of course Natasha picked out the most dangerous gown of them all. A red gown that fitted you snuggly but perfectly, giving no room for a single drop of imagination because all of you were there in the openâŚfor Loki to see.
You drove in the car with Thor and Natasha to the conference ceremony, letâs just say you were dreading it.
âMy ladyâ Thors voice echoed outside your mind as you realised you were already here, he was holding the door open for you. âThank you, Thorâ you nodded, giving him a gentle smile.
He took your arm in his and took you inside.
You found your seat and kept your low, fading into the distance as much as you could. It didnât help as each person who came past would say hi to you, knowing your irons mans daughter. You
Kind of hated it, you wanted to be known for you but nobody even knew you truly.
As the conference began, your leg had been fidgeting the entire time, bouncing up and down.
Until you saw a gentlemen with a tray of wine, politely taking one from the rack. You chugged the liquid down as if it was the end of the world.
âYouâll be fine, miss y/l/nâ. Thor spoke, nodding to you. The blonde God kind of drained out the fear in you for a while until you heard your name thunder around you.
âPlease my daughter, y/n y/l/n has a final speech prepared for us. Would you like to come up y/n?â Tony waved you over to the stage when you got up from your seat.
It was then you realised how many people there were in this room, over 20,000 people were here. For a moment it made you feel dissy but you didnât let it fail you, like many things before.
You began to walk onto the stage as a man helped you up the steps, your gown dragged along behind you as you finally reached the pole, where you looked onto the crowd.
Your eyes wanted to roam for whom you missed but you felt too many eyes on you, it was a secret oath to never be looked upon.
Gently, you cleared your throat before you began.
âWe loose what we often think will be our end of time, what comes to our mind when we hear the word mine, and its probably the worst feeling youâll ever have, for worser or for better. However down the line we see people true worth, what they really meant to us now or then. You never know what they think of you until they say the words directly to you, for worser or better. For the better I had a person who I believed was my end of time and came to my mind when I heard the word mine, however it was not forever. Every night when I go to bed I wonder if there is some else out there who is better for me who wont cause me to feel thoughts that feel unending but I really donât think there is.â You pause for a second, looking out to the crowd searching for the God who broke your heart and when you spot him, his eyes twinkingly in the light that shone above you, but the tears sting to the bone.
âBut what I do know, is even if they may hate you or you may hate them, at least they made you feel like it is perfect timing or at home for a moment in time because you may not go home ever again. A place where you go only at night when the tide is in and there no is drought to cover your wounds. you often wonder if theyâre doing the same or theyâre in another forbidden happy world without you. You miss them but you cannot call out to them because they have a life without you, itâs for the better.â
You breathe in a shallow breath as you try not to choke on your own tears, swallowing as you tore your teary eyes from the one person, who you wished you could run into their arms and cry a river without feeling hopeless. However he is not yours anymore and you must leave him behind.
Without thinking you hear a thunderous amount of clapping stirring you to the wake. you forgot you were even doing a speech, you were only speaking to the one person in the room who had stood up the moment your name was announced.
The girl beside him, Chloe tried pulling him back down next her but he wouldnât budgeâŚnot for her but for you.
You began to walk off the stage when Natasha looked at you with an âwhat the fuck was thatâ look on her face with a huge grin. You just shrugged as Thor took you into his arms. âI told you could do it, lady y/n!!! That was amazing!!!â he nodded.
âThank you!â You smiled at them both as you saw Loki coming your way, a âfuckâ was thrown under your breath as you began to squeeze past the crowded room.
âY/n! Please waitâŚwait pleaseâ Lokis voice followed behind you. âPleaseâ his voice gentle than ever before. âYes, Lokiâ you sighed before turning around to face him. âI never knew⌠you could do that. That was absolutely beautiful darlingâŚI didnât know you could write so wellâ he smiled down at you, his eyes wondering over every part of you that was open to him. Natashaâs obsessive plan seemed to workâŚnot that you wanted it too. âYou look-â but before he could say anything you cut him off. âYep- fat I know. I remember what you saidâ you rolled your eyes as you began to walk out the door, your body meeting the cool air outside, sighing you inhaled the fresh air that you sincerely needed. âNo! I- y/n I was an idiot. I was selfish. I know I was mean. I was truly a monster that night. I just I warned you I am not who you think I am but you kept going and -â you cut him off again as you crossed your arms. âLoki. will you ever shut up and listen to me?. You are not a fucking monster. I will forever and keep telling you that. So, Stop saying it!â You snapped at him. âYou were the one person who wasnât the monster and you never were the monster,  you were the light in the darkness, the firefly that lead me home at night in a Darkened alleyway. You were my life. You were the reason I found me! I loved you for you!  You showed me things I didnât know were possible. I thought the world of you.â You sighed as you walked up to him. âMaybe I am not a goddess and certainly am not as beautiful as whoever that girl is but at least I loved you for you! tell me the truth does she know you? Or does she just know how big your cock is?â You stared up at him.
It was the first time you had actually seen him this way before, tears threading to fall..he was being vulnerable for the first time with anybody. He did not expect you to say any of that. For one, he thought you hated him. Well, you did at the time but not anymore because youâre an adult, not a child.
âI know you didnât mean it Loki, but you said it and it was cruel of you,  youâre correct. But then you went and made it worse. We werenât even over and you left me to watch you go off with someone else. Thatâs what hurts moreâ you shook your head as tears began to fall from your eyes but so did he. âY/n⌠I am so sorry, I really am. i didnât mean it at all. Youâre so beautiful, you know I love every part of you.. your smile, your laugh, every inch of your body and I promise you, youâre not fat youâre perfect, truly a goddess. I am the one unworthy of you. you were the most kindest person to me, you did so much for me and I gave nothing back. You deserve someone so much more than me and thatâs why I left.â He spoke quickly, worried he would say something wrong again however this was all the truth as you search in his emerald eyes that did not twinkle the way you missed them doing.
For a moment the two of you stared at one another until you both collapsed into one anotherâs arms, how long you missed this, how long youâve wished for this. Just to be close to him.
His hand fell to the back of your head as he pulled you closer into him. âPlease donât let me go again, I cant live without you. I am so sorry, I am so sorry. I promise Iâll be better, Iâll be better for you but I cant do this anymoreâ he squeezed you tighter just as Chloe came out of the building as well, seeing the both of you obviously sharing an intimate moment.
âLoki!â Her voice shrieked, causing you to jump but he did not pull away nor let you pull away. âWeâre done!â He waved her off as he pulled you away slightly, lifting your chin up. âYou showed me many things, how to be meâŚactually me, the ravishing God that I amâ he winked at you before he began again. âYou showed me how to be silly, to have fun, to have someone care about you, to have someone believe in you, to have someone want to be your side without wanting something more, you just wanted me, you showed me love, to be loved, and how to loveâ he pushed a strand of hair behind your ear, he stared deeply into your eyes. âI want to be with you forever, I want you to be my for betterâ he chucked as you wiped his soaked cheeks with your thumbs. âI want you to be my for better, tooâ you nodded a smile forming on your lips as he captured it with a kiss, full of trust and hope.
His fingers gripped onto your hair before letting go repeatedly as the kiss grew more passionate, you both missed this feeling of one another. Closeness and foreverness that only the two of you shared, not with anyone other.
You both got so lost into one anotherâs forbidden happy world, you got distracted by the crowds of people leaving the conference room since it was finally over. Â Quickly you both pulled away from one another body when you heard Thors laughter before guiding you to different cars.
You couldnât help but feel a little saddened that you are going to have to go back to the old ways, hiding away from the truth. You wanted people to know the two of you shared love for one another. You wanted people to know you had Loki as your lover, to know he was so much more worthy of peoples words. However for now, you were just extremely grateful you had loki back as yours.
âHey! Someone looks happierâŚehâŚdid Loki say something? I saw him walk out with you. I told you the rep lipstick would work!â She nudged you as you giggled.
Thor got into the car as well after a little while, and then a few minutes later you were back at home.
You thought you would have to wait to see Loki again but you spotted the God outside the front of the stark tower, you didnât even wait for Thor to help you outside of the car because Loki had already began opening the car door for you . âThank youâ you looked up at him with a huge smile.
He quickly walked after you as you looked back at him from over your shoulder. âI didnât know you were going to wait for meâ you said as he opened the front door for you as well, thanking him again. âIâm the God of mischief darlingâŚ.you wonât know whatâs up my mischievous sleeveâ he quickly tried to find your hand as he followed you. Finally, finding your fingers he intertwined yours with his.
For a moment you stared at him blankly, this was forbidden before. âYou canât- what if theyâll see?â You turned on your heels immediately. âSo?â He smirked at you causing you to realise what he was saying. âWait? Really?â You asked excitedly before he captured your face in his hands, kissing you hard as ever before. Gently, he leaned you over the table behind you. âReallyâ he groaned against your lips. âI hope you know that youâre stuck with me now, mrs mischiefâ he gently bit down on your lip.
âGorgeous girl, my beautiful girlâ he tapped your thighs as you immediately widened them, trapping him in between your legs. âYou know you are the most precious being on this entire galaxy? In every realm?, on every planet?â He placed wet kisses down your jaw. âLokiâŚstoppppâ you giggled as he bit down onto the soft skin of your neck causing you to moan. âIâll never stop darling, youâre mineâ he giggled. âSee I can be a poet tooâ he looked down at you with a soft but mischievous grin. âA ravishing women for a ravishing manâ he kissed you all over your face. âThose moans are music to my ears pet, keep going.â He suckled bruises down the rest of your neck, shooting electricity down your thighs to your core.
âOh my goodness !!!! Not on my coffee table!!! Off off off!!!â Tony screeched as he waved at the both of you, unbothered by the both of you being with each other.
Slowly you got off the coffee table but you and Loki had the same reactionâŚyour father didnât care about the two of you being together?
âI knew it!!!â Natasha screeched as she cheered at you from in-front of you as you peeked over Lokis shoulder. âI told you stark! They had it the moment the two met. I am so here for it! Iâve got to tell Wanda bye!â She quickly left the room.
You looked up at Loki who immediately picked you up, wrapping your legs round his waist. âThey knew itâ he kissed your nose as you quickly snuggled your head into his chest. âI missed youâ you whispered as you began to kiss his neck, a place of forbidden sensitive places.
A low groan escaped the back of the Gods through as he tightened his grip on you. âYou want them to know youâre mine, are you sure youâre ready?â He smirked as he laid you back down on the wooden table. âIf you break his table heâll kill usâ you giggled as he widened your thighs in front of you. âIâll buy him anotherâ he winked at you but noticed you had not underwear on. âYou have no knickers?â He frowned over at you. âI wasâŚkind of hopingâŚâŚI- I was ready for youâ you chuckled a little as he began to unbuckle his shirt.
You both were in the main room so you were open to anybody walking in but you were ready for this, for him.
You looked up at the glass ceiling until you heard his belt buckle and immediately looked up at him. Your lip catching on your tooth as you felt your heart begin to race.
The sunlight reflecting from the glass onto the gods body was beautiful on his skin, making his entire silhouette glow. Â
He stood in front of you bare, his cock already hard and swollen, as he stared down at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes. âLetâs say, I too was hoping to have you tonight, dearâ making you both giggle.
Slowly, he leaned over to you and pressed his lips to your neck as he began to unzip your red gown. Bruising the soft skin, marking you as his; to show off to everyone. He was done pretending with you, he wanted to start living with you.
He sucked harder onto your skin as he grew closer to the flesh of your breasts, skimming his lips over your nipples as you arched your back, allowing him to pull the gown fully off of you.
âOh darling, you really are the most prettiest girl to Neptune and backâ he took one of your sweet buds into his mouth, flickering the sensitive nipple over his tongue. âYou- read my diary-â you arched into him, your thigh skimming over his cock causing him to moan into your flesh.
A vibration sent straight to your core. âI know more than you thinkâ he smirked. âCreepyâ you gasped as he pushed your body down into the table. âDelectableâ he kissed down your belly. âAnd you are beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.â He kissed a bruise into the soft skin of your insecurities.
âLokiâŚpleaseâ you shuddered as you wrapped your hand around his burning cock with the need of the release of your right walls. âAh- petâ he arched into your touch. âFuck me! I need you now!â You brought your other hand to his shoulder, gripping onto his skin, leaving marks on his body.
âGood girl, I love your sweet begging for my cockâ he grabbed his cock lining himself up to your entrance, still wrapped with your hand around it. He dragged his tip up your soaked folds, causing him to shudder. Collecting all your arousal for the base of his cock as lubricant.
With a sudden thrust of his hips he was inside you, without a second later he began to fuck you like you asked. Â
You saw stars, feeling his cock drag in and out of your walls, feeling every ridge and bump or vein of his erection deep inside of you.
His cock diving perfectly in and out if you as if his cock was made for you. âOh thank you, my God!â You screamed as he ruttered into you harder. The table shaking underneath you.
âThatâs it! Say my nameâ he gripped onto your hands above your head as you watched each other grow closer and closer to your climax.
âLoki!, Loki!, Loki!â You screamed as he his pace grew quicker. The sound of his name rolling of your tongue made his mind go fuzzy, instantly both of you reaching your high together.
He fell on-top of your body, as he captured your lips on his, again. âI love you to Neptune and back, Lokiâ you kissed him hard.
âMy table!!!â Tony screeched.
Iâve waited all my life
For you to spin me around and catch me back into your arms
I had a dream that our crimes
Would be resolved so that we won
Now Iâm standing beside you as one
With my head dropped onto your shoulder
Looking into the distance of our once dead flower garden
Thatâs now covered in Glitter and Gold
The end will not tear us apart
Were stronger than ever before
To place in our world like that again
