If you've ever been nice to me, I Love You

I genuinely believe that we will never achieve full disability justice until people can have mature conversations about bladder and bowel issues

you've met me at a very wild animal caught in a bear trap gnawing off its own leg time in my life

“mom coded” “sister coded” “wine aunt coded” what if she’s his friend instead. you’re actually allowed to be friends with women

This isn't at all a new or novel observation, but. Allyship in a fandom space means nothing if you immediately ditch the ally part in favor of equating antiblack rhetoric that makes its way into your favorite show, character interpretation, writer's rooms etc. as fandom drama. This shouldn't have to be said. But it still doesn't seem to be common sense. I guarantee you Black fans and other fans of color who are rightfully upset about very blatant, very ignorant and disrespectful depictions in the media they consume, from creators who have made very clear their extreme lack of respect for nonwhite fans, are a far cry from typical fandom bad faith discourse. Yet I always, always see the complaint anyway of "never being able to please these people." Hey question. Who's "these people". Answer quickly

cis people are wayyyy too damn comfortable with making jokes about men getting pregnant. and frankly so are other trans people.

idk what trans man/transmasc needs to hear this but no you are not in on the joke. 9/10 when somebody makes an mpreg joke they are not laughing with you. they aren't even really laughing at you. they are laughing at a caricature of you. they know what a trans man is and yet have so little care about trans men that their first thought when it comes to pregnant men is the hilarity of a cis man being feminized (often forcefully) and how amusingly grotesque or amusingly erotic they find it. you are not in on the joke. you were never in on the joke.

i think my biggest problem is that these jokes boil down to "isn't it so WEIRD that a man is pregnant/has breasts???? isn't that so STRANGE?????" and whether you take that the route of "this is funny because its disgusting/disturbing" or "this is funny because its extremely erotically charged, often in a way tied to humiliation/control" you are deriving comedy from the idea of a trans/intersex man's body just. existing naturally. there is no greater depth it is just "wouldn't it be funny if a man was female in some way? but still identifiably masculine but in a way that has been corrupted by the sexual embarrassment of the most stereotypically female act? isn't that amusing?" and at worst its another example of how, when people try to get one over on cis men through the route of gendered/sexed humor, it frequently relies on leveraging trans & intersex men as examples of a man at his most failed, embarrassing, sexually dominated. and the worst part is again that there's not even a cursory attempt to diffuse this charge by the comedians making these jokes, there isn't any acknowledgement of what they are talking about. it's like anyone who's ostensibly a trans ally enters this pocket universe where trans and intersex men don't exist whenever one of these jokes comes around. and how am i supposed to feel about this!!!!!!!!!!!!

This post got a like out of nowhere and I only vaguely remember writing it and I’m not entirely sure which of my employees inspired it, but it still holds.