when the music fucks you with the strap #yes

good god when the onions and garlic hit the olive oil..........

Panties hit the FLOOR

you know it sister

drinking and smoking marijuana in public in front of children

you want to be mommy’s adjective noun, don’t you, pet name? you want to verb and verb for mommy like a good gender

these teenagers and their dog are trying ruin our money laundering business. no tony put the gun down were doing this the old fashioned way. were gonna dress up as monsters and scare them

does anyone want to see a really good picture of my kitty cat

not a cat, first off

snale

Sending 7 quadruple cheeked up butch lesbians and bara bears to jump rope outside of your room door at all hours of the night and shake the fuck out your house

im so hungry i could eat a dinner

im so hungry i could lay a dinner egg

Had a dream that markiplier was struck by lightning and imbued with electrical abilities. People were encouraging him to use his powers for good but he just went back to playing videogames. All the videos were about three minutes long because as soon as he got jumpscared there'd be a brilliant blue flash and he'd fry his computer.