no gender, lots of Magic!

Wanting something requires dopamine signaling, but liking something doesn’t.

If you have a mental illness/disorder that affects dopamine, you might feel that you don’t want to do the things that you like. You do still like them. You will appreciate having done them.

Let your likes guide you.

(If you want to read more, here’s one experimental paper about it. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5171207/ This theory called the incentive-sensitization theory was originally created to explain behaviors in addiction but can be applied elsewhere as well)

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Statement from Tristan Kern de Gonzales

Husband of Jonathan Joss

My husband Jonathan Joss and I were involved in a shooting while checking the mail at the site of our former home. That home was burned down after over two years of threats from people in the area who repeatedly told us they would set it on fire. We reported these threats to law enforcement multiple times and nothing was done.

Throughout that time we were harassed regularly by individuals who made it clear they did not accept our relationship. Much of the harassment was openly homophobic.

When we returned to the site to check our mail we discovered the skull of one of our dogs and its harness placed in clear view. This caused both of us severe emotional distress. We began yelling and crying in response to the pain of what we saw.

While we were doing this a man approached us. He started yelling violent homophobic slurs at us. He then raised a gun from his lap and fired.

Jonathan and I had no weapons. We were not threatening anyone. We were grieving. We were standing side by side. When the man fired Jonathan pushed me out of the way. He saved my life.

Jonathan is my husband. He gave me more love in our time together than most people ever get. We were newlyweds. We picked Valentines Day. We were in the process of looking for a trailer and planning our future.

He was murdered by someone who could not stand the sight of two men loving each other.

I was with him when he passed. I told him how much he was loved.

To everyone who supported him, his fans, his friends, know that he valued you deeply. He saw you as family.

My focus now is on protecting Jonathan's legacy and honoring the life we built together.

If your concern is how someone coped with trauma or how loudly they speak when recounting injustice and being ignored by authorities then you never truly cared about my husband.

Jonathan saved my life. I will carry that forward. I will protect what he built.

- Tristan Kern de Gonzales

***

american indian men are at the 2nd highest risk of death by murder compared to all other ethnic groups. in their lifetimes, 82% of native men report having experienced domestic violence. yet the overwhelming majority of perpetrators are non-natives (88% of native men and 92% of native women who reported violence said their attacker was non-native). what’s more, tribal governments are often stymied in their attempts to bring justice against non-natives, meaning that many of these cases go unresolved.

this was an intersectional attack. the fact that he is indigenous matters, even if the motivation was homophobic, because it made him even more vulnerable and disposable in the eyes of his killer.

I had no idea he was gay but he was married to a man named Tristan Kern de Gonzales (on valentines day 2025!)

They lived in San Antonio Texas where his family is from and he grew up. He was 59.

In Janurary 2025 his home was burned down which made news. It killed some of his beloved dogs. He didnt elaborate beyond he believed it was arson (gofundme is still up and i suggest donating to help his funeral costs and his husband

Update: de Gonzales says hes fine he just wants justice but i still think its nice)

Now we know he and his husband had been threatened by several neighbors for being queer. They told pigs, pigs being pigs did nothing before or after it happened.

Yesterday Joss and his husband went to check their mailbox wherein they found one of their dogs skulls (statement from his husband

)

As they weeped and mourned in shock, a neighbor, Sigfredo Alvarez Ceja, came out and aimed at de Gonzales…but Joss jumped in front of the bullet and was instantly killed.

Ceja, homophobia murdering coward, tried to take off but de Gonzales had called pigs who vaguely tried to do something. He was arrested and his bail set for $200k. Or as my sister said who the fuck sets bail for a murderer?

San Antonio.

De Gonzales is clearly mourning, posting pics on Hoss’ fb page. This one really struck me

This is why we need pride people, and not rainbow capitalism. Please donate to the gofundme and let san antonio cops knows what you think. De Gonzales said multiple neighbors had threatened them…id like to see those people investigated for arson.

Go into pride with rage and knowing. Have joy, kiss puppies, dont bow to homophobes. And maybe enjoy a little king of the hill.

UPDATE

Jonathan Joss’ husband Tristan kern de Gonzales identifies as trans on his facebook page.

Which explains the ramp up of hate and why the murderer shot at de Gonzales (Joss pushed him out of the way). So this is also a transphobia related murder

as a quick thing for anybody who doesn't know, I'm a permanently disabled trans man who is multiple flavors of queer. I don't have any income, and while I can get a little help with a couple things (like my powered wheelchair) I generally am left to my own devices to figure out how to do things like pay bills and feed myself after I run out of food stamps for the month. I'm waiting on disability still. have been since, like, 2017. I have reapplied and appealed several times and it's getting ridiculous by now.

my surgery coming up is a hysterectomy! which means no more uterus! but it's kinda a major surgery that will take a while for me to recover from, which means I might not have the brainpower or energy to do a lot. including begging online for money to pay off bills or get groceries delivered, unfortunately. so uh. yeah. I have an amazon wishlist for stuff I could use for that, if anybody has a few bucks to spend and wants to make sure it goes towards one thing specifically. some of it is just disability stuff that would make my quality of life better, but will also help during recovery. I also have a wishlist for snack things that would be nice to have by me so I don't have to struggle getting around the first few weeks after surgery.

as for the phone and internet, the combined bill is $50 per month. a majority of the phone bill is to pay for my phone specifically. the reason I need help with my food stuff is that I have some stupid restrictions on what I can and can't eat, and unfortunately a lot of what I end up needing to get is not cheap. my phone and internet bills are taken care of for this month, but I'd like to pay ahead a few months so I can recover without having to worry about it. please ignore the deadname on there. anything I get there is going to go towards phone and internet bills for the next couple of months after I get some food stuff delivered.

why did they pop? I blame the fact that the sidewalks AND roads both have places where I can't avoid broken glass.

my wishlist, in case somebody can't click the links there for some reason: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1WF732PDMMWQT

PDF:

Why not use a VPN to encrypt all of your online traffic? “Personal VPNs simply shift residual risks from your internet service provider (ISP) to the VPN provider, often increasing the attack surface,” CISA’s guidance fairly explains. “Many free and commercial VPN providers have questionable security and privacy policies.”

So the takeaway here isn't "never use a VPN" - it's use a useful and reputable VPN. Go research their reputations, especially in forums that talk about things that end in *arr. Look at the countries they're situated in.

As Google has worked to overtake the internet, its search algorithm has not just gotten worse.  It has been designed to prioritize advertisers and popular pages often times excluding pages and content that better matches your search terms 

As a writer in need of information for my stories, I find this unacceptable.  As a proponent of availability of information so the populace can actually educate itself, it is unforgivable.

Below is a concise list of useful research sites compiled by Edward Clark over on Facebook. I was familiar with some, but not all of these.

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Google is so powerful that it “hides” other search systems from us. We just don’t know the existence of most of them. Meanwhile, there are still a huge number of excellent searchers in the world who specialize in books, science, other smart information. Keep a list of sites you never heard of.

www.refseek.com - Academic Resource Search. More than a billion sources: encyclopedia, monographies, magazines.

www.worldcat.org - a search for the contents of 20 thousand worldwide libraries. Find out where lies the nearest rare book you need.

https://link.springer.com - access to more than 10 million scientific documents: books, articles, research protocols.

www.bioline.org.br is a library of scientific bioscience journals published in developing countries.

http://repec.org - volunteers from 102 countries have collected almost 4 million publications on economics and related science.

www.science.gov is an American state search engine on 2200+ scientific sites. More than 200 million articles are indexed.

www.pdfdrive.com is the largest website for free download of books in PDF format. Claiming over 225 million names.

[transcript: "together, these two wonderful americans will pave the way for my administration to dismantle government bureaucracy, slash excess regulations, cut wasteful expenditures, and restructure federal agencies - essential to the 'save america' movement," trump wrote. "i look forward to elon and vivek making changes to the federal bureaucracy with an eye on efficiency and, at the same time, making life better for all americans."]

to be clear: trump is planning to create a new department whose purpose is literally to deregulate and defund government oversight. this will lead to corporations having greater freedom to fuck over consumers while making more money, and he is putting two billionaires in charge of it.

sure, maybe this is just a ploy to keep them quiet. giving them the illusion of power in exchange for backing him. but lets not forget all the regulations trump cut during his last term

which has directly led to the constant recalls of consumer goods and foodstuffs over the past several years. the recent e coli outbreak at mcdonalds? the boars head listeria recall? these are the products of deregulation. getting rid of laws and standards that protect consumers by making sure money hungry corporations dont cut corners.