kiss kiss fall in love

taako, later that day, after getting a message from a hot boy (kravitz): lup i need your help dying my hair right now immediately cha'boy is a goth now and incidentally i have a date tonight. where’s barold? get barold. he is going to tell me everything he knows about bones i need some talking points

–

It was supposed to be a joke. A one time goof. Ha ha, laughter. And then he was going to delete the account and pretend it never happened.

Most of the dudes on the site looked like they hadn’t graduated from college yet and were only just pushing the boundaries of their self expression. That wasn’t a bad thing, but Kravitz wasn’t looking to listen to someone wax poetic about their twisted existence at 8pm on a Thursday. He wasn’t exactly sure he had time on his hands to be dating, but he was never one to question fate.

As he sat down on the couch of his apartment, he spent the next five minutes scrolling lazily downward on a row of photos. After passing on at least ten people, he was about to close the app. But then one caught his eyes and he paused. He tapped on the picture and up came a guy with purple ombre’d hair, wearing a deep v-neck shirt and silver jewelry for days and—

Kravitz scrolled down to see more. It was the only picture on the account. The name was just a series of pumpkin emojis. The description underneath was even sparser. It just read: 

My name isn’t Casper, but you could be my Boo ;>

Kravitz shook his head at what was obviously a joke account. But still. This person must have had a good laugh making it. He figured it wouldn’t hurt to hit the beating heart that meant yes. Okay, he thought. I can dig this one person. For the fun of it.

Go to Costco/Sams Club/WalMart - wherever they’ve got that $58 eye exam. That’s with no insurance, btw. Just $58 cash on the counter, you get your eyes examined.

They’ll give you a copy of your prescription. ASK THE DOCTOR TO MEASURE YOUR PUPIL DISTANCE. If they don’t it’s not a huge deal, you just have to have a ruler around that has millimeters so you can measure it yourself and it won’t be as accurate but being off by as much as a centimeter isn’t a problem.

Make them give you a copy of your prescription - you are allowed to have this, they have to give you it, you don’t have to buy glasses there. If anyone challenges you say you need a copy for your records and you’re not going to buy glasses today.

Go to https://www.zennioptical.com/ and start looking at frames/glasses that you like. If you create an account it’ll let you upload a photo and based on your pupil distance the site will estimate how well various frames will fit you.

Add the frames you like to cart and start checking out - the checkout process will ask you for your RX details that will be written in the boxes on your RX page. It’s pretty intuitive to copy it over but if you get lost use the livechat feature on the zenni page.

Start selecting your glasses details. Your RX will determine what kind of lens you get (go with the one zenni recommends for materials and thickness) but your needs will determine the other stuff. I make sure to get the fancy oleophobic coating because I’m a slimy bog monster. I also get the cheapest pair of sunglasses possible because bog monsters hate the sun. You can get transitions lenses or anti-scratch coating or super lightweight lenses or whatever works best for you. The extras will add up in cost but you gotta do what you gotta do - my life is much better with a pair of sunglasses than it is with some clip-ons for my regular glasses; your life may be better with transitions lenses instead of carrying a second set of glasses. DO WHAT WORKS BEST FOR YOU.

Don’t bother paying the rush shipping, this is going to take two weeks regardless.

GLASSES ARRIVE. WEAR GLASSES.

If the fit isn’t perfect see if the place that did your eye exam will adjust the fit for you. They often will free of charge.

GLASSES. GLASSES. I CAN SEE.

PROGRESSIVE BIFOCALS THAT COST $40 WITH CUTE FRAMES AND NICE COATING.

SUNGLASSES.

FUCK

It costs less for me to get two pairs of bifocals, one tinted and one clear, with special coatings and nice frames than it would cost me to get one pair of single-vision glasses from Warby Parker.

The cheapest frames available for adults on Lenscrafter’s site is $69.95. That is JUST the frames, not the lenses. The lenses are like $200. The anti-glare coating is like $70. THE ANTI GLARE COATING IS FREE AND INCLUDED WITH YOUR PURCHASE AT ZENNI. Just the frames and the coating at lenscrafters costs more than my two pairs of glasses AND my eye exam.

The key difference for me was that while Zenni was utterly eye opening (ha, eye pun), they rarely do sales, and GlassesShop is constantly rolling through a variety of sales. There is almost always a wide selection of glasses on Buy One Get One Free promotion, and the free pair includes the lenses, no matter what add ons are on there or whatever kinda prescription you got, as long as its the less expensive pair. 

They also do weekly specials where rotating selections of frames go on clearance-rate pricing, from $6.95-12.95. This is just the tip of the iceberg of the constant variety of sales, promotions, and discounts they offer, and doesn’t include that, also unlike Zenni, if you have an account every purcahse you make accrues points which can be applied in dollar amount to future purchases, even with discounts/sales/promos also applied.

Like Zenni, GlassesShop lets you upload a selfie to “try on” frames you’re interested in, but they have a much wider selection and variety. They take about the same amount of time as Zenni to craft and ship your glasses, and they’re on par as far as quality and accuracy of prescription goes.

I will always be grateful to Zenni for opening the door for me on the online glasses market, because as someone netting less than 20k a year after taxes glasses used to be a “upon pain of death/causing a car accident from blindness” purchase but have become a “well that’s a great sale and I LOVE those frames… I guess I could do with another pair of glasses, there’s $30-50 in my budget!” kind of thing, and that’s incredible.

But I probably won’t be switching back, as after having made multiple purchases, the only thing I like better about Zenni compared to GlassesShop is Zenni has better cleaning cloths.

Regardless, they’re two excellent, amazingly affordable alternatives to spending minimum of $100 at a brick and mortar glasses store, and I’ve turned into something of a proselytizer for both, because people deserve to know they have these options.

There is Never Enough Lup pining over Barry. 

real talk where’s my close proximity pining, lads? Where’s Lup putting her full body weight on Barold while he’s sitting at a desk. And she’s trying to figure out how to make him fall in love with her while he’s trying to focus on a lab report, but he’s a stuttering mess because she’s t o u c h i n g him.

Where’s Lup failing to keep her hands off him? needing to touch his shoulder when he’s not quite awake first thing in the morning? or giving him a soft poke when he needs some pep talk? Where’s Lup immediately going to for a high five when he gets a good rib in? Where is Lup wrapping her arms around his shoulders when the other’s gang up on him because you know what, Barry’s actually fucking right, you goofs!

Where is Lup speaking so softly, so openly, when they’re going through rough times. And when she can’t think of anything to say, she gently grabs his hands, just to offer the comfort of her presence. 

Where is Lup not even realizing that all this is pining? Because she has all that she needs with him being there. She’s so used to his presence that she grows just a little complacent.