Promptness

you got it, anon!

There were many times when she wondered how her girlfriend could achieve such beauty without ever being able to look into a mirror. 

She always tasted of salt and smelled like the ocean. Always tracked sand into the house. Always brought her home a gift, like a seashell, or a lost piece of jewelry that the waves carried her, or the leftovers of a sailor she didn’t finish. It was one of the many reasons why she loved her.

“What do you think would happen if I went on The Voice?”“Babe, no.”

Changing her sleeping schedule for her nocturnal girlfriend was a struggle, but it was worth it. 

She was a sailor, soaring across the waves each night, until she heard the loveliest voice she had ever encountered. When she came to, she found herself in the arms of a gorgeous woman, staring into the face of beauty itself. Said woman was demanding to know why a vampire was sailing with a group of mortals, while also making sure she knew how much she ruined her dinner. 

Her fangs poking out of her lips when she smiled. Her touch, cold on her skin but always heartwarming. Her coppery kisses and her laughter and her voice. She was always on her mind. A siren with a vampire was probably a somewhat dangerous mix, but if that was so, then to hell with caution.

“What? No, I’m a demon. I’m scary.” They grinned, then reached over to squish their cheeks. “Aww. To me, you’re a cutie-pie.” “I’m not supposed to be,” they mumbled through puckered lips, their face still in the grasp of their partner.

“Seriously, you gotta stop snacking before meals. It’ll ruin your appetite.” They wiped the blood off their chin, offering a shy smile. “Sorry. I was hungry.”

“Man, I wish I could try McDonald’s breakfast,” they said. “It’s a shame they only serve it during the day. If I wanted some, I’d have to apply eighty layers of extra-strength sunscreen just to make it to the car.” “Didn’t you hear?” they asked. “The one a couple blocks over is doing all-day breakfast.” They whipped their head around at the speed of light. “They’re what?” Alternatively: They gently set a hand over their heart. “I will make it my personal mission to get you something off of the McDonald’s breakfast menu. Not only will I deliver it to you, but I will make certain it stays hot.” A small smile crossed their face. They extended their arms for a hug. “You’re my hero,” they said.

“Wow, who knew demons could be so cuddly?” “You’re a vampire. You have no room to talk about unexpected cuddliness.”

sure, anon! thanks!

They weren’t exactly aware that replacing the head of a scarecrow with a jack-o-lantern and topping it off with a flat cap would create some sort of Frosty the Snowman-like creature, but it was a pleasant (?) surprise.

Halloween was the one day they could wear their favorite outfit and not get weird looks.

“Woah, nice costume! How’d you get yourself to look see-through?”“I died. I’m an actual ghost.”They looked confused for a second, then grinned. “Oh, nice one. Of course you’re a real ghost. Seriously, how are you getting yourself to float?”They sighed. The abandoned mill was a hotspot for Halloween parties. It was near impossible to convince any drunk teenager to hear them out and help find their murderer.

“God, why don’t you ever go outside? Soak up some sun!”They bit their tongue. Don’t tell them you’re a vampire just to get back at them. You’ll immediately regret it. Don’t do it. Don’t do it. Don’t do it. “It’s because I’m a vampire,” they said.

One positive thing about hunting on Halloween was that fake blood was everywhere. If you had blood dribbling down your chin, no one would think twice. They’d just assume it was part of your vampire get-up, not that you were a real vampire.One negative thing about hunting on Halloween was that fake blood was… everywhere, and it tasted terrible. They had already lost two potential snacks because they’d been deterred by the fake blood smeared all over their neck, and, earlier, they accidentally popped open a fake blood capsule with their fangs.

!! of course!

She loved her wife, no matter how many times she accidentally set the flowers on fire instead of making them healthier, or tried to use magic in order to set the table, and then breaking all the dishes in the process.

There was always background noise outside their apartment– car horns, people chatting on the street, the occasional shout for someone to “move out of the way” or “watch where you’re going.” Sometimes her girlfriend couldn’t stand it, so she used a little bit of magic to make their home quieter. 

On her birthday, she kisses her on the cheek and hands her a good luck amulet. She wears it everywhere she goes. It’s not until she starts having a terrible day that she realizes she’s lost it and now has to scour the city to find it.

“You know, I could just… use a little bit of magic… to, uh… make your ex have a bad day… or week… or… month…”“No.”“But they’re the worst!”“I love you, but you can’t use magic to ruin my ex’s life.”“Why not?”

She misses the stars she always saw when she lived in a less populated environment. Now she can’t see past the streetlights. Her girlfriend uses a spell to make the stars look just a little clearer and a little brighter, just for her, and she feels tears welling up in her eyes and her heart soaring.

absolutely, anon! thank you so much!

Rose petals, nice dinner, candles… they had this whole date thing in the bag.

The person at the hotel desk looked back up from their computer with a pleasant smile still on their face. “I’m sorry, but your reservations aren’t here.”They frowned. “Is there anything else you can do?”They turned back to their computer, and, a few seconds later, told them, “We have a room available, but it only has one bed. Are you two okay with sharing?”

They had their coffee order inscribed into their mind. Now all they had to do was write down their number on the cup.

sure thing, anon! hope these are okay!

“So, the neighbor called,” their parent said. “They said you broke into their house. Again.”They could only offer a nervous shrug.

“Listen, I’m a responsible parent.”“Really? Remember that time when our kid was three and I asked you to watch them while I went to the store, and then they got into the matches and set the curtains on fire?”“I’m sorry! I was in the bathroom and unaware that children that small actually knew how to strike a match!”

“That’s it. We’re gonna have to ground you.”“But–”“Giving another kid a black eye constitutes for being grounded, no matter the circumstances. Go to your room.”“But you don’t–”“Go to your room.”

absolutely!

“What are you doing?” they asked.“Calling the police. I think they can help you.”“That’s not how you ‘call.’ You have to use your voice, right? Like this– Police!”“Hey–”“Police!” People were turning heads. Someone was walking up to them.“Shut up!”

“Isn’t the place where you come from really nice?”“Earth is nicer.”“… You have a lot to learn about Earth.”

It was sort of terrifying, really. Being in whole other world, where everyone knew how to act, knew how things worked, knew what to do except you. Everything had a price that you couldn’t pay, but everyone else could with these little green slips. Everyone, for whatever reason, stayed away from the things moving really quickly up and down the road, and someone screamed when you stepped out in front of one. One of the children fell on the walkway and started crying. They got hurt, you think. You can’t get hurt. Or can you? You are on Earth now.

“How do you not know this stuff? Don’t you watch over Earth from time to time?”“I haven’t checked in for a while.”“When was the last time you did?”“Not certain. One thousand years ago, maybe? Things were much different back then.”

For some reason, when they told people they were an angel and needed help learning about their world, people either ignored them, laughed, or gave them a look and began walking faster.

For example:

"I don’t know. They said I needed to ‘behave’ and 'act civilized’ and not to 'set the yard on fire like I did last time.’”

NOT:

“I don’t know. They said I needed to "behave” and “act civilized” and not to “set the yard on fire like I did last time.”“