Project Supreme Thunder

Day... I’M NOT SURE ANYMORE LOL wow, I realized I stopped updating this the moment I got swallowed up by my mental health. I literally lost all hope, threw my diet in the air and cried for weeks. Oh yeah, during that time, I also got diagnosed with Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), which explained why i had such a DAMN HARD EFFING TIME losing weight during my journey a year ago.

frustration piled up after frustration, and I just gave up on life..

until I accidentally did something. I cut out one meal from my plan(which I continued following using even when I was off my coach’s plan). all of a sudden, I started losing weight. like magic. IDK man, I don't know how to explain, but all of a sudden it just worked.

and so stoked with the progress i got, I continued with it, and eventually enrolled with my coach again, got back to training MMA, and presently, I’ve managed to slim myself to THIS:

I DID IT. I ACTUALLY DID IT. from my past weight of 74-75kg, down to 58-59kg It’s taken a better turn, and my mental health has improved coz of this. I’m well on my way back to my chosen “path”

I honestly still have problems losing that last bit of core flabs (probably because my PCOS just hinders me from losing this stubborn part), but the journey continues :)

this isn’t “just a diet” for me anymore. it’s become a LIFESTYLE, and I’ve never been happier to have stumbled on this journey along. and my journey, #ProjectSupremeThunder, continues... KEEP MOVING FORWARD!

day... I don’t know anymore  because I reset it, but even with the reset... nothing happened

day 4

I decided to just reset this or i’ll continually be upset about my progress. so I kind of unofficially named this SUPREME THUNDER - reset 

coach gave me a different plan and its pretty extreme. i hope i lose weight now im so desperate. I have no idea why im not losing any despite all the measures ive taken and all the sacrifice ive done.

please please i pray this works. 

DAY 53 

it's been two months.

two whole months

and there’s been no significant progress. I am the only one within my peers who hasn't had any progress whatsoever, and i feel so bad. i’ve followed the plan, i’ve sacrificed so much, i’ve worked so hard, but still, nothing happened. kind of explains my lack of post here. I’m too depressed to post. I’m still continuing tho, i’m pushing forward.

coach sent a new plan, and it does look hard, but i’m desperate for results so here’s to me trying my damn hardest again. PLEASE BODY FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING COOPERATE AND ACTUALLY SHED WEIGHT PLEASE. I brought my uranus lip rod charm to gym because i’m literally losing hope. holding it at least makes me want to keep moving forward. If I don’t do this, what else can I do?

because I fvcked up my first month by overlooking some food in my plan, i barely had any progress for the first month.

I have to admit at this point im very demotivated already, but at the same time i don’t want to give up. It’s like, I feel nothing is changing, despite me trying my very best to be better, to adhere to the program, to improve.

but I don’t know, it’s like my body isn’t responding like how i want it to respond. it’s like nothing is changing. :(

despite all these roadblocks and disappointments i’m going through, I’m still trying my best not to get overly discouraged. I’m still fighting through. I’m still moving forward.

I’ve attached my goal below. Takahashi Yu’s aesthetic is my aesthetic and I hope someday I’d be able to wear the clothes she wears (that i cannot wear in my current state because i’m so fvcking fat and ugly) again, just keep moving forward.

day 29

I knew it. I overlooked something. i messed up.

I consulted with coach, and turns out ive been missing a part of the meal plan and so my body when starvation mode. THE WHOLE MONTH.

I wasted a month thinking I was progressing, but I really wasn't. had I reallized sooner, I would've corrected myself.

But no use crying over spilled milk. I'll have to restart all over again, and this time I really hope it works.

once again, I think back to the episode in Sailor Moon S where Makoto hit a really bad slump. She must’ve felt the same. But as she learned, “there is no path that lets me live my life other than this path”

Day 25

THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH EVERYDAY coz our bosses from australia came to the office bearing “gifts”

its been free fast food lunch and chocolates day after day, and I’ve turned them down time and time again, and have even skipped team dinners because i cant eat anything in there, to the point that my officemates think I’m a total killjoy to be with :(

i weighed myself again, and nothing changed :/ I don’t know why, am I doing something wrong, or is my body just THIS STUBBORN that even professional help doesn’t work :’( All these negative feedback i’m getting coupled with my seemingly non-existent weight loss is starting to make me feel hopeless. sigh

Day 19 I weighed in again. nothing changed. I feel absolutely devastated. was it because of the damn “no sugar strawberry” fiasco the waiter did at the last resto I was? or was I failing to eat what I should? or my body is JUST THAT SHITTY that it wont lose weight UGH.

“I don’t like sand” - anakin skywalker

DAY 16

yesterday, my and some buddies got back to stunt training, and I realized how out of shape I am. Ever since i injured my knee during MMA, I stopped doing anything martial arts related for about 2-3 months while i was waiting for it to heal, which in turn also GREATLY contributed to my sudden weight gain.

I used to be a lot more nimble, more agile (and admittedly more fearless lol). I felt weak, like i got lost somewhere along the way. I stumbled again and again. I did remember that quote during Makoto / sailor jupiter’s S arc episode where she felt so sorry for herself for being weak and demotivated because of her recent loss. she ask’s the monk if he ever felt down during the times he couldn’t achieve what he wants during training. he responded that 

DAY 15

I hate myself, coz this is the first time I UNINTENTIONALLY CHEATED. UGHHH It was my first time eating out with friends since i started the project, and I was extra careful, brought only food permitted and weighed in everything and I specifically instructed the waiter for a NO SUGAR strawberry shake. so fast forward to us receiving our orders, I drank the strawberry shake and noticed it was still sweet to my taste. I kinda of was weirded out, and drank around just half of it, because at that point I seriously was convinced myself that it still contained so much sugar coz its reaaaally sweet.

HOURS later, my friend who ordered a Mocha frappe complained his drink HAD NO TASTE at all. tried it and TRUE ENOUGH, ITS JUST THAT, coffee with cream, no sugar at all, and he’s already near finishing it!

and then it dawned on me: The waiter might’ve made the mistake of mixing my instructions, no sugar on the mocha frappe instead of my strawberry shake I WEEP. I UNINTENTIONALLY ATE A CHEAT MEAL(DRINK YEA BUT STILL)

I feel like I messed up so bad IDK how much this will dent my progress. *sigh*

DAY 11

weighed in and was a bit disappointed that i was 150lbs, when the starting was 149lbs. like legit i kind of sulked for hours. then the next day i decided to compute my weight, because I remember I was 69kg at start, converted it to pounds and BOOM. My starting was 152lbs PHEEEEEEWWW

so I did lose weight no matter how small, its still something

Day 9 our boss decided to buy fast food two days in a row for the team. STRUGGLE IS REAL LOL meanwhile our country lead is super happy because he gets to eat my share of the fast food that i cannot consume KEK :P

DAY 8

When you celebrate with the squad, but you gotta stick to the fitness program :) DAY 7  - 02/18/18 - 1 week down! yesterday, went to our buddies place to celebrate stuff and I was so worried about how to distribute my food for the night and if I was gonna survive the night because they probably will eat all kinds of nice Chinese food, But lo and behold, I SURVIVED :) it wasn’t so bad. I’m fortunate to have friends who support me in this rather than force me to eat things and tell me i’m such a killjoy for refusing and that I should just have a cheat day LOL. guess it also helps that we have fitness goals (with the Sailor moon shoot fast approaching lol), feels nice to know that I’m not the only one going through this journey, we all are.

bestie remarked that i was losing weight ; u ; i really really do hope i am ; u ; now day 7 ends, looking forward to the next few days for more improvements

I ‘officially’ started this project February 11, 2017.  A little backstory: I was desperate to lose weight and was frustrated at myself coz the methods I’ve been doing so far won’t work (anymore at least) I used to be really fit and had this korra arms aesthetic, and was a beast in parkour, but age gets you and metabolism slows down plus ADULTING completely swallowed my life and so, eventually, I BALLOONED to the fat-ass I am now.

desperate to regain myself, my mental health, AND MOST SPECIALLY MY PREVIOUS STRENGTH and MARTIAL SKILL, I sought for help from experts and now, I start anew with set goals and plans in my mind. back to korra strength and aesthetic we GOOOOO!

Day 3

Tried out the HIIT circuit and BOOOOY was i dead right after. My right leg cramped up twice while sleeping too. This is how badly out of shape I was.