Project SAY SO

Gina L. Spokane, WA

My story starts from the beginning of my life. My mother was a very young teenage mom and my father abandoned me before I was even born. My mom tried but she was young and I was exposed to drinking, drugs, and men from a very young age. At 7 years old I was molested by a close family member. This event started my downward spiral. I started acting out for attention. By the age of 10, I was a thief and a liar...anything for attention. It was at 10 that I tried my first marijuana joint on the playground at school. My mom moved us to Idaho to help get me straightened out. She met my stepfather and it was, in the beginning, a very dysfunctional abusive drunk relationship. I lived in fear and constant turmoil with all the physical fighting between them.

By this point, my faith and trust in men were nonexistent. Every man in my life had either abandoned me or subjected me to abuse which led me down a path of drinking, smoking weed and promiscuity. By 17, I was pregnant with my first child. I had amazing people come in my life but the world still had a strong hold on me. I ended up relinquishing custody of my first born and only son to his father. I continued partying, getting drunk and putting myself in dangerous situations. During one of those parties, I was sexually assaulted and became pregnant with my twin daughters. At that point, I straightened up some but still had these big voids and unhealed hurts, which led to more promiscuity and looking for love and thinking the love from a man would heal that void. I met my first husband and became pregnant with my youngest daughter. It was then I was introduced to Jesus at Life Center Church.

For the next 6 years, I was heavily involved and faithfully going to church but I wasn't there quite yet...I knew of God but my heart still did not know Him. Eventually, my marriage was over and once again I turned to the world for love. I met a man and within a few months it became very abusive and I found myself hiding bruises and lying to everyone. It was at this time that my crack cocaine addiction began. In those 5 years, I lost my job, my home, and exposed my kids to very dangerous people and situations because all I really cared about was getting high. On October 29, 2007...I looked over at my beautiful girls sitting on a nasty dirty bed in a very sleazy hotel full of addicts, and at that moment I hit my knees and asked God to forgive me and free me from this life I was living. My addiction was broken that day, at that very moment.

But I continued to fight against Gods love. I ended up at the women's mission at the UGM. While I was there, I was invited to Family of Faith Community Church. I plugged in immediately and was faithful for a few years but I still didn't know God with my heart. I could recite verses, say all the right things but I still haven't completely surrendered. That's when I met my husband and we drifted from the church. We tried to do it on our own for the next 4 years. With our marriage a mess and on the verge of divorce, we were given the gift to go to the Family Life Marriage Conference. On our second day, we made the decision to rededicate our lives to Jesus and get serious. That night God put Pastor Danny and Sherry at a table right by us.

God told me...it was time to go home. Since that day we started coming back to church, to our home and family. Recently God has been moving in our lives. I finally totally and completely surrendered to Him...leaning on my own understanding was not working. Today, I am drug-free, getting grounded in our church, and my husband gave his life to God also. He is changing us still, as we grow and learn to lean on His word and believe in His promises for our lives. We have joy, and peace beyond what is humanly possible. God has us in His hands and I'm excited to keep continuing this path with God leading my way!

Join Gina in the SAY SO Movement and share your testimony with the world! Here's how.

Lacey T. Spokane, WA

Everyone has a story, but not many are heard. But I feel it's time to let everyone know what the Lord has done in my life. My name is Lacey and I'm 32 years old. Thirteen of those years I was a drug addict, addicted to not only meth, but the lifestyle that goes with it.

When I was 20 years old I had my first son, Tagen James. He was the light to me and his father Jay's world. When Tagen was 6 months old, Jay and I got married and started our family. But I also started taking prescription drugs for my headaches. When I started taking them just to feel normal I knew I had started down a road that was going to be impossible to get off of. Although my love for my new little family was there, my reality became serious, knowing I was becoming an addict. When the doctor finally attempted to cut me off I hit the streets.

I went from Hydros to Oxycontin in no time and I was spending all the money we had. I was selling and pawning everything my husband had. He fought to keep us together but the thought of quitting was just too much. When I realized that meth worked better and was cheaper, the devil caught me and I spent the next eleven years becoming someone I'd never thought I'd become. Not long after I was a full-blown meth addict I found out I was pregnant with our second son Rowdy William. I had what every woman wants, a beautiful family. I tried to see myself getting better, but the thought of trying to quit was just too much. The devil had me stuck! I was losing everything I had.

I started fighting with my husband so much that it became public, and I finally got caught with possession and that started the journey with CPS. I thought I could keep living that lifestyle and keep my family. Reality set in, and eventually, they served me paperwork. I couldn't have my boys in my care anymore unless I cooperated with them and did everything they asked. I gave it a shot, but I failed my boys miserably. I soon became the notorious drug dealer in my town, buying and selling illegal firearms and running with a gang of the hardest around. I gave up my real family to live the lifestyle with my street family. I knew I was in really deep when I started witnessing things no person should ever see. After a few months of running with this crowd, I got a knock on the door of my house. It was the Sheriff, not dressed in uniform, who was also a great family friend. I had felony fines at the time but I knew I had to answer the door. He informed me that I had just lost my husband in a tragic car accident.  

You'd think this would be someone's so-called "rock bottom." But not for me, as I believed I had nothing else to live for. So for the next 8 months, I hurt as many people as I could. I became the most evil of all people, scared to even look in the mirror at who I'd become. All the guilt, shame, bondage of what I'd done to my family, my babies, and my husband became so real, and I couldn't stay high enough to keep all of that pain away. I was doing things that no one else dared to because I just didn't care. I was the one who everyone called to handle business, holding guns to people's heads just to take the little bit of money they had. I was so far gone I didn't see any way out of it all. So I continued living this way, getting into relationships just to hurt people. My mission was to hurt everyone as bad as I was hurting.

One night when our house was surrounded by cops, I knew I had to do something.Then I had a moment of clarity... I remember praying before I went to bed that night to God, saying "show me what to do." I knew I needed so desperately to be part of my boy's lives, even though they had my Mom and Dad raising them. I wasn't going to let both of their parents die. All I remember is waking up from a dream of my Pastor and my Husband standing outside of the Spokane Dream Center Women's Discipleship, and as I walked out to leave the program (in my dream) my husband said to me "go back and finish what you started..." I attended the program before in 2013 and left after only 3 months.

So I called my mom and told her to come get me right away and take me back to finish the program. On December 18th, 2014 I walked back into the doors of the Dream Center's Discipleship Program. I surrendered my life to the Lord and fought through everything I was staying so numb from. While I was in there my beautiful parents Shauna and Doug adopted my boys. God has since restored my relationship with each of them. They started to come see me for visits as much as they could. My once broken and shattered heart was put back together, piece by piece, by God. It was not an easy road and I had many visits with the US Marshall and detectives about things I had done. But I knew that either way God had me right where He wanted me. All charges were dropped, and I continued my journey toward Christ. I had to keep my mind right and eyes fixed one Jesus at all times! When I had no hope, my Pastors had plenty for me. I took each day one step at a time, breaking off more and more shame, guilt, bondage and hurt every day.

Building my relationship with the Lord was my first priority.

One year later I graduated the dream center a completely changed life! Although the tattoos are now an everyday reminder of who I once was, they also remind me of who I have become in Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says: "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, a new creation has come, the old is gone and the new is here!"

I took the stage as a graduate of the Dream Center one year later with my family standing by my side, giving thanks to the Lord for His marvelous works in my life. He brought me out of such horrible darkness and into his beautiful light! As time went on, and I was living and walking in my new life, I was seeing my kids and family all the time! I met the man I am now honored to call my husband, Joshua. We are expecting to have our baby girl in a few weeks and God gets all the glory in everything he has done in our lives! Both of us came from horrible backgrounds and God put us together to show what His love can do.

I now know the power of God's love for each and every one of us, and I will never take for granted this new life that the Lord has given me!

Join Lacy in the SAY SO Movement and share your testimony with the world! Here's how.  

You can learn more about the Spokane Dream Center Discipleship programs here.

Breelagh D. Wantage, NJ

During my senior year of high school from 2010-2011, I was lost…. I was depressed and wanted to get out of my school. I discovered that I had social anxiety, and had just started going to a therapist. I had very low confidence and cared way too much about what people thought about me. A year before, I started smoking marijuana, and smoked for an entire year, to numb my emotions.

I had started feeling depressed when I was sixteen, and because of my worsening depression, anxiety, and being hung up over a guy, I numbed my pain by smoking weed. I didn’t cry for an entire year. The summer before I turned seventeen, I smoked every day, several times a day. I stayed in my room most days, which is one of the loneliest feelings in the world; being trapped in a mental prison. I started to escape that prison when I decided to quit smoking weed, after much advice from the people around me. I also decided to quit smoking because I was suicidal, and couldn’t take it anymore one night at my house and told my brother I was going to kill myself. He was a voice of truth in the darkness I was encompassed in when he told me that “killing yourself is like giving God the middle finger.”  

I didn’t want to do that, because I grew up loving God, even though I didn’t have a personal relationship with Him until my sister led me to Him that spring. Quitting weed was difficult because it was an addiction for me, but I got through. I was basically a zombie in school the rest of my senior year, with some moments of great joy. My sister was fooling around being silly one night at our house, when I was in another one of my stupors, not wanting to smile, laugh, or be around anyone. She didn’t accept that fate for me, however, and wanted me to join in on her fun and draw an upside down mustache with eyes on her chin so she could take a chin face picture for her friend, upside down. I gave in, because I felt God’s presence inside of me, and I felt better like everything was okay now because He was there. I chose to live in his light, and draw on my sister’s chin. We were laughing, and then dancing and making silly videos of us dancing and singing. That was the night I was saved by Jesus Christ.

From then on, things weren’t always easy; I didn’t get over my hills until I met my boyfriend, Nick. He showed me that I am a beautiful person, inside and out, and helped me grow my confidence. I was emotionally weak (and still am even), and he is physically weak. Nick was confined to a power wheelchair when he was only six years old, diagnosed with spinal muscular atrophy. He has an identical twin brother, Anthony, who has the same muscle disease that Nick does. They are not paralyzed, they just have weak muscles, and therefore cannot walk or stand.

Mine and Nick’s love for each other is something special, because I have never cared about the exteriors of people, but have always seen them for who they truly are on the inside. Nick has helped me so much with his abundant love and forgiveness on a daily basis. He is emotionally strong, so he has helped me so much to see my true worth, and brought me back to who I am inside. I have found out who I am, and am not afraid to show my light to the world anymore. Being saved has been an ongoing process for me every day, and I will never consider myself truly saved until I am with my God in Heaven.  

Connect with Breelagh on her site:   http://Breelagh.com

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Samantha Ehli, Spokane, WA.

When I was two years old my dad killed my mom and himself. I lost two people who brought me into this world and because of this, I went down the road of destruction. I grew up very confused. I lived with my grandparents, and my aunt and uncle most of my childhood. When I was 11 years-old I started to smoke cigarettes, and I started using alcohol at age 13. Then came weed, pills, and meth. All of this destruction in my life because of the loss of my parents.

I had this hole in my heart that was empty and it needed to be filled, so I tried drugs, men and many other things to make myself feel whole. None of it worked, well maybe temporarily it did, but it was never enough. My life was chaotic but yet I lived like this for many years until the day I lost everything. This was the day that opened my eyes...

It didn't all happen at once, but it did happen. I became homeless and went to the Union Gospel Mission Women's Shelter. This is where I got clean and sober and found my relationship with Jesus Christ.  I got into the program at Anna Ogden Hall and this place God helped me find my true self in Christ. I started attending the most amazing church ever, Family of Faith Community Church, here I met the man I'm happily married to today, Family of Faith Pastor Nik Ehli.

I get to be a part of so much at this church, and it is amazing to me. Today my love tank and spiritual tanks are always full. Every day I get to grow my relationship with Jesus Christ, and every day I get another day of recovery that is only possible through my relationship with Jesus, my amazing church family, and my husband.

Join the SAY SO Movement and share your testimony!  Here's how.  

Nicholas D'Agostino, Wantage, NJ

This is a testimony that I wrote for my baptism almost 6 years ago.  (6/7/11) It touches on my battle with Spinal Muscular Atrophy and how God has brought me peace.

This is my testimony, put into a poem. For every time I speak of God, I also speak of home. He gives me every word to say, He gives me every rhyme. He gives me eternal life, the gift of frozen time. I walked until I was six, then was carried to this chair. Often times I cried in bed, that life just isn’t fair. Whenever I would see a mirror, I would somewhat fear it. That is, until the day, that I saw the Holy Spirit. Now I look at my reflection, and I don’t see my shell. I don’t see the weaknesses. I don’t see the Hell. I see the strengths, of my mind, and of my heart. A soul that is thirsty, for a fresh start. Just as He is the beginning, He will also be the end. My Savior is the One true love and my closest friend. I’m blessed and highly favored. This chair saves energy. So that I may have what it takes, to help this world break free. Stairs are an obstacle, and I may not walk among us. But I will climb the stairway to Heaven, for I do walk with Jesus. Lord, You know everything. The where, the why, the when. Today, just like every morning, I am born again.  

More from our friend Nicholas: Since finding Jesus, I have become a motivational speaker, traveling to schools, businesses, and churches with my story. I am an elected official in my hometown and have conducted many community outreach projects. All of this by the Grace of God and because of the love of Jesus! Thank you for this opportunity to share with your amazing audience.

Connect with Nicholas on facebook or on his site:  http://NickDags.com

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Mindy B. Spokane, WA

My name is Mindy. I started using drugs at the age of 12. By the age of 18 I was a full-blown heroin & meth addict. I lost everything that I ever truly loved due to me choosing drugs over my kids and family. I lost everything that i worked hard to get such as car, house and my job. I was homeless for about 5 years, in and out of jail more times than i can count. In abusive relationships. I didn't know where to turn to.

I landed back in jail for the last time, but this time I was looking at 26-months in prison. I decided to take a DOSA sentence. I ended up in treatment, and that is where I found the Lord.  After treatment, I moved into the R.O.A.R House provided by the Lord through Family of Faith Community Church in Spokane.

I have been clean and sober for 32 months now, and by the grace of God I have a new life today. The Lord has given me an amazing life today with amazing friends that I call family. I am connected, back with my kids and the family that once was out of my life.

I love Family of Faith Community Church, which is now my home. I once was lost but now I am FOUND.

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Today I have 5 years of sobriety. 5 years ago I was hell on wheels. I didn’t care about anyone but myself. I ruined people’s lives. I hurt people. I had no friends because I didn’t care to. I used drugs, sold drugs, ran guns and hurt others because nothing mattered to me except my ego.

Then on this day 5 years ago I was arrested and something inside of me broke. I felt lost, depressed, alone, worthless, and detached from the world. I knew right at that moment I didn’t want to live like this anymore. Sitting in the back of that cop car I knew I need to turn my will and my life over to the care of God. I was looking at 15 years Federal time but I knew God had a plan for me so I prayed and prayed and from day one took all the steps I could to start changing my life.

I was blessed by my sentencing and was given 8 ½ years with dosa!! I was able to get into the therapeutic community in mission creek and that’s where my life began to change. I changed everything. Mentally, emotionally, physically. I lost 80 pounds, I took every class to better myself, I reworded my brain from criminal behavior to something positive and I truly became a child of God! I never would have though I’d make it this far.

My life is truly amazing. I get to work and pay bills.  I have a probation officer and office who love me and use me as an example to others. I get to share my story and inspire others. I get to have my own business where I get to help others truly live healthy, happy and love themselves. I get to empower and be empowered by being part of the positive change in the world. I get to have friends and I get to love them and myself today. My life has truly changed and I would have never made it this far without putting my faith in God. I owe it all to Him! Without him I am nothing and with Him I am EVERYTHING!

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Pastor Nik Ehli, Spokane, WA

My name is Nik.

Well...now it's Pastor Nik. I have been transformed by the grace of God and the power of the blood of Jesus. I had destroyed my life though my own dumb choices. Drugs, Women, Crime and the list goes on and on. I had lost everything from my children to my sanity.  Satan had lured me to a very dark place in my life. I invited death and suicide was always at the front of my mind. I hated myself, my life and everything in it. I felt trapped by my addiction. I just wanted it all to end. And death seemed the only way out.

God had a different plan for my life. I ended up in jail for the umpteenth time. That's where God found me. I chose to follow His lead. God has led me to an Amazing life. Today I love who I have become. I love my Church Family (Family Of Faith Community Church), I am Blessed by my friends at Lost2Found, I have an Amazing Wife an Awesome Business (A New Creation General Contracting) and a great relationship with my kids. I no longer contemplate suicide but embrace the fact that Jesus died so that I could have this Amazing life.

Ryan B. Spokane, WA

Changed lives are proof of His redeeming work in the Apple of His Eye... (You and me. Us...) Some of us come from backgrounds that society casts out, but God is faithful... And to the world and the enemy we proclaim together...“ You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. “  Genesis 50:20 

We do what we do to bring hope to the ones still struggling, and to show them that Jesus promises rest to those who are weary and heavy-laden. (Matthew 11:28-30)