My story starts from the beginning of my life. My mother was a very young teenage mom and my father abandoned me before I was even born. My mom tried but she was young and I was exposed to drinking, drugs, and men from a very young age. At 7 years old I was molested by a close family member. This event started my downward spiral. I started acting out for attention. By the age of 10, I was a thief and a liar...anything for attention. It was at 10 that I tried my first marijuana joint on the playground at school. My mom moved us to Idaho to help get me straightened out. She met my stepfather and it was, in the beginning, a very dysfunctional abusive drunk relationship. I lived in fear and constant turmoil with all the physical fighting between them.
By this point, my faith and trust in men were nonexistent. Every man in my life had either abandoned me or subjected me to abuse which led me down a path of drinking, smoking weed and promiscuity. By 17, I was pregnant with my first child. I had amazing people come in my life but the world still had a strong hold on me. I ended up relinquishing custody of my first born and only son to his father. I continued partying, getting drunk and putting myself in dangerous situations. During one of those parties, I was sexually assaulted and became pregnant with my twin daughters. At that point, I straightened up some but still had these big voids and unhealed hurts, which led to more promiscuity and looking for love and thinking the love from a man would heal that void. I met my first husband and became pregnant with my youngest daughter. It was then I was introduced to Jesus at Life Center Church.
For the next 6 years, I was heavily involved and faithfully going to church but I wasn't there quite yet...I knew of God but my heart still did not know Him. Eventually, my marriage was over and once again I turned to the world for love. I met a man and within a few months it became very abusive and I found myself hiding bruises and lying to everyone. It was at this time that my crack cocaine addiction began. In those 5 years, I lost my job, my home, and exposed my kids to very dangerous people and situations because all I really cared about was getting high. On October 29, 2007...I looked over at my beautiful girls sitting on a nasty dirty bed in a very sleazy hotel full of addicts, and at that moment I hit my knees and asked God to forgive me and free me from this life I was living. My addiction was broken that day, at that very moment.
But I continued to fight against Gods love. I ended up at the women's mission at the UGM. While I was there, I was invited to Family of Faith Community Church. I plugged in immediately and was faithful for a few years but I still didn't know God with my heart. I could recite verses, say all the right things but I still haven't completely surrendered. That's when I met my husband and we drifted from the church. We tried to do it on our own for the next 4 years. With our marriage a mess and on the verge of divorce, we were given the gift to go to the Family Life Marriage Conference. On our second day, we made the decision to rededicate our lives to Jesus and get serious. That night God put Pastor Danny and Sherry at a table right by us.
God told me...it was time to go home. Since that day we started coming back to church, to our home and family. Recently God has been moving in our lives. I finally totally and completely surrendered to Him...leaning on my own understanding was not working. Today, I am drug-free, getting grounded in our church, and my husband gave his life to God also. He is changing us still, as we grow and learn to lean on His word and believe in His promises for our lives. We have joy, and peace beyond what is humanly possible. God has us in His hands and I'm excited to keep continuing this path with God leading my way!
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