Professional Amateur

today at work a toddler in a high chair patted me on the arm to get my attention, then when i crouched down and asked him what’s up, he pointed at the table full of chatty old ladies across the aisle and said “NOISE” and i have never in my life been more delighted by a guest complaint

As a Big Tiddie Bitch™️ do you ever just look at a woman with small breasts and see her wearing a certain top/bralette or something and you’re just like “…huh, I wonder what it’s like being able to just wear that?” Not even in a hating way but like just out of genuine curiosity?

That shrek one is threatening

I have so many questions

In the name of everything decent in this world, you have got to turn the sound on.

This happened near me. The mattresses were on the loose for half an hour.

tbh can’t wait until women collectively just snap

next thursday? wanna all just snap next thursday ladies? i’ll put it in my planner

Sis 💀

Jurassic World did the Avatar thing where it made a gajillion dollars and left no cultural footprint whatsoever. Name your favorite Jurassic World character. What was your favorite line. It evaporated despite everyone seeing it.

WRONG fav character was the extra that ran away from the pterodactyls with two margheritas in hand

oh my GOD

do kids these days make up songs about killing the wiggles and doc mcstuffins or did barney the dinosaur just unlock some latent primal rage in my generation

Listen I had a childhood pre-Barney and we didn’t sing about killing our childhood characters then as far as I am aware so I am inclined to suspect that goddamn purple dinosaur just struck some kind of collective nerve.

u can tell who the ancients of tumblr are bc they’re the ones not posting anything abt where to find them if this site collapses…we know this site isnt going anywhere….the apocalypse couldnt stop this garbage…..it has the cybernetic code of a cockroach

no drug could ever hit as hard as that feeling when u look up and see the moon and stars on a really clear summer night