This Thespian's Gone Dancing

give me the look that says “just wait until we’re alone”

come flirt with me wtf

Gaslighting is active manipulation to make someone question their sanity, memory, or perception of reality. It’s not lying, remembering something differently, or disagreeing with someone.

Bus drivers who see you running and open their hole are better public servants than any cop.

their what now?

their ‘bussy’ you might say

i might not.

The guy behind the counter at the post office was just like, “can I getcha anything else? Stamps? Pint of blood?” And the ten seconds it took me to remember my mask has vampire teeth printed on it was the longest most bewildering moment of my year so far

the saddest death in harry potter is my respect for jk rowling

i need that catholic guilt dick

the concept of sending william shatner to space just because he was in space on tv is so hilarious. let’s send the dunkirk guy to war next

Okay I'm really glad I have a strap bc I've been seeing these guys runs their fingers up and down the neck way faster than I could and I realized it was because I was sitting with my elbow collapsed into my stomach so now I can do my warm-up line way easier. Downside is my back is starting to hurt😔

megan fox’s speedrun from tumblr’s sweetheart to an embarrassment of grimes proportion is kind of impressive

I had a friend who died because he tried to do a backflip and never landed

we should start gaslighting the food network instagram and just post “did anyone see that hair in the food lol” until they delete a post

I always honestly wonder if ppl would be less antivax if the vaccine was like, a pill you take or a nasal spray. So many ppl who are antivax are totally fine with taking other medicines and it really does make me think if all these tough guy conspiracy types are actually just like a little scared of getting a lil needle lol

Whenever some prepper conspiracy gun nut conservative man talks about how evil vaccines are in the back of my mind I'm always thinking "ur a lil scare of needles aren't u baby boy..."

Behind every red faced yelling man theres a little guy who just needs to be brave in front of the big scary doctor