Princess Tingles

Hanging out with old people rules because after a while they trust you enough to confess to murder totally unprompted

Wait what.

Sometimes old ladies had to kick the ladder out from under their stepfathers when they were girls and that’s valid

My grandma murdered her first husband the first time he beat their daughter.

I went caroling at a nursing home once and the conversation went from “your voices are lovely” to “I shot people during the war” rather quickly. 

Relationship should be 50/50, you being pretty on the passenger seat while I hold on to your thigh and feel how soft you are.

haha, nerd (im in love with you)

I don't care about hot girl summer, but everyone better fucking be vaccinated by Halloween, feel me?

modern hieroglyphics

*cups my own face tenderly* its gonna be okay babe