savannah | 22 | bi disaster | ao3: ceruleanstorm | main blog: heliophobicsoul | cruel summer (upper west side part 3) on ao3 now! | ko-fi: savthesunflower | header by noelle stevenson | on semi-hiatus for mental health reasons but I'm still writing ;)
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
upper west side: cruel summer, chapter 3 out now!
summary: Repeating the words in her mind that unmistakable hopefulness began to take on a life of its own in her body. This was a feeling that said enough. It did not need to be wrestled into submission or conquered by whatever brute force Adora was never short of. No. This was the surety that Adoraâs heart beat with when Catra stood in front of her in the hospital, her arm in a cast and a bandage on her forehead, and Adora knew she could never go back to the before without her best friend.
~
Adoraâs last year has been a series of all out brawls with her anxieties, her emotions, and her wants, not all fights she's come out victorious in. Secrets of her own stand poised to take everything sheâs worked for with Catra down, until a slip-up shows Adora she has reason to hope after all.
That is, until a long forgotten face shows up on Bright Moonâs doorstep.
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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
upper west side: cruel summer, chapter 3 out now!
summary: Repeating the words in her mind that unmistakable hopefulness began to take on a life of its own in her body. This was a feeling that said enough. It did not need to be wrestled into submission or conquered by whatever brute force Adora was never short of. No. This was the surety that Adoraâs heart beat with when Catra stood in front of her in the hospital, her arm in a cast and a bandage on her forehead, and Adora knew she could never go back to the before without her best friend.
~
Adoraâs last year has been a series of all out brawls with her anxieties, her emotions, and her wants, not all fights she's come out victorious in. Secrets of her own stand poised to take everything sheâs worked for with Catra down, until a slip-up shows Adora she has reason to hope after all.
That is, until a long forgotten face shows up on Bright Moonâs doorstep.
It's a calm night. They're in Adora's- their room in Brightmoon. Sitting on the balcony watching the stars.
Catra looks at her now, watches the stars in Adora's eyes. Wonders if all those people look at Adora and see the same kind of fire in her eyes.
Catra wonders if they look at Adora and worship the fire there eyes like its the sun, if they wish upon the stars in her eyes like the ones that fall through the skies at this hour.
Catra looks at Adora's eyes and she doesn't see the fire they see. To everyone else it probably looks like the fire in Adora's eyes is blazing, burning, roaring and raging, ready to burn away anything in her path.
Catra knows better. The fire in Adora's eyes is not like her own. It doesn't rage and roar, doesn't threaten to break and destroy, no.
Adora's fire is gentle and strong. Capable of destruction but never bringing it. The stars in her eyes are a campfire, a hearth. A warm source of comfort. A fire that says "it's okay, you can come rest here for as long as you wish." And isn't that so much greater. Greater than the sun and the stars. A fire that is home.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
âWhat do you want, Adora?â Catra asked.Â
âClosure, I guess.â Adoraâs laugh was empty as she put her head in her hands, âFor both me and Mara. These people, my birth family- theyâre just names and photographs, faces that are somewhat like mine. Itâs too late for them to mean anything. But I donât want what happened to them to be for nothing.â
Okay. Okay, yeah, Catra could work with that answer. Curling her fingers into her brow bone and letting her left eye fall back closed, Catra prompted, âIt wonât be for nothing, Adora.â It never was. Youâre standing here. And I know thatâs not enough for you, but it is for me. âWeâll get you closure. And Mara, too, since thatâs one and the same, I guess. But weâre going to do it working together, or weâre not going to do it all, capisce?â
Chapter 2 of cruel summer (part three of upper west side) out now!Â
â read the authorâs note at the beginning before reading â
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
âWhat do you want, Adora?â Catra asked.Â
âClosure, I guess.â Adoraâs laugh was empty as she put her head in her hands, âFor both me and Mara. These people, my birth family- theyâre just names and photographs, faces that are somewhat like mine. Itâs too late for them to mean anything. But I donât want what happened to them to be for nothing.â
Okay. Okay, yeah, Catra could work with that answer. Curling her fingers into her brow bone and letting her left eye fall back closed, Catra prompted, âIt wonât be for nothing, Adora.â It never was. Youâre standing here. And I know thatâs not enough for you, but it is for me. âWeâll get you closure. And Mara, too, since thatâs one and the same, I guess. But weâre going to do it working together, or weâre not going to do it all, capisce?â
Chapter 2 of cruel summer (part three of upper west side) out now!Â
â read the authorâs note at the beginning before reading â
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
âWhat do you want, Adora?â Catra asked.Â
âClosure, I guess.â Adoraâs laugh was empty as she put her head in her hands, âFor both me and Mara. These people, my birth family- theyâre just names and photographs, faces that are somewhat like mine. Itâs too late for them to mean anything. But I donât want what happened to them to be for nothing.â
Okay. Okay, yeah, Catra could work with that answer. Curling her fingers into her brow bone and letting her left eye fall back closed, Catra prompted, âIt wonât be for nothing, Adora.â It never was. Youâre standing here. And I know thatâs not enough for you, but it is for me. âWeâll get you closure. And Mara, too, since thatâs one and the same, I guess. But weâre going to do it working together, or weâre not going to do it all, capisce?â
Chapter 2 of cruel summer (part three of upper west side) out now!Â
â read the authorâs note at the beginning before reading â
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
âWhat do you want, Adora?â Catra asked.Â
âClosure, I guess.â Adoraâs laugh was empty as she put her head in her hands, âFor both me and Mara. These people, my birth family- theyâre just names and photographs, faces that are somewhat like mine. Itâs too late for them to mean anything. But I donât want what happened to them to be for nothing.â
Okay. Okay, yeah, Catra could work with that answer. Curling her fingers into her brow bone and letting her left eye fall back closed, Catra prompted, âIt wonât be for nothing, Adora.â It never was. Youâre standing here. And I know thatâs not enough for you, but it is for me. âWeâll get you closure. And Mara, too, since thatâs one and the same, I guess. But weâre going to do it working together, or weâre not going to do it all, capisce?â
Chapter 2 of cruel summer (part three of upper west side) out now!Â
â read the authorâs note at the beginning before reading â
thank you to @gimme-tea-bitch for all your help and for betaâing!Â
Re your q, I don't think the chapter length is an issue. I'd struggle to ID a spot where you could break c1 up without inhibiting the flow of the story, plus it worked well to set up the background and draw you in to what's happening (it just kept escalating! I think a chap break would halt that momentum). The advantage of fic is that I can read small parts on my phone when I have time, so if a chapter's long it's not an problem b/c I can take as long as I need. Hope this is helpful feedback!
this is super helpful feedback, thank you!! I agree with every point you mentioned here, which is exactly why I didn't break up chapter one. However, I did have a post upload freak out afterwards, so I turned to ask on tumblr, which is not unusual for me. So thank you for your answer.
I'm so sorry it took me a month and a half to answer it! This past month has been very difficult for me pain wise, and it's been very hard for my family. but I did read this awhile ago, I just didn't have a chance to answer. Anyways, long story short, thank you!
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
chapter 1 of cruel summer (part 3 of upper west side) out now!
summary:
âAnd this edge that youâve been walking, where youâre stable but the ledge is fragile, Iâve pushed you off it, Catra, by coming back here.â
âAdora, you didnât push me off the edge, I fell and thatâs it,â Catra told her, reaching across the patio railing and intertwining her fingers with Adoraâs, squeezing her palm three times before adding, âYouâre just the idiot who jumped in after me.â
Sniffling, Adora squeezed Catraâs hand back. Her blue eyes held within them the reflection of the bleeding sunset painted across the infinite desert sky. The corner of Adoraâs mouth rose as she asked, âYou regret taking my ride request yet?â
A year after the events of upper west side, Catra and Adora are finally at a place where they can move forward with their lives and have a stable future with one another. But when the ghosts of their past begin to show face in Bright Moon with tantalizing requests of Catra and Adora in exchange for the rest of the answers theyâve been looking for, the two have no other choice to back to their hometown in Arizona to uncover the mysteries of their past before their ghosts can sucker them in. With their future on the line, can Adora and Catraâs love beat a ticking clock?
a sequel two years in the making.
thank you to @gimme-tea-bitch for your help and your friendship.
relating to your question, I will say that the reason I haven't read the first chapter (of cruel summer) yet is because of the length. I haven't been able to set aside the mental energy and time to read through it. But if it's meant to be read straight through then you might just want to let it be, ya know?
Thank you for your feedback! this really is super helpful and I appreciate it a lot.
I've gotten some other people saying exactly that, that if the chapter is meant to read straight through I should leave, so I'm planning to. I do understand, however, that it's a commitment to engage with that much fic, so I find your reason totally valid, and there's no stress or rush here, 'cause it's always gonna be there and be ready whenever you are, which is one really cool thing about stories! take as much time as you need ;)
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quick question: I know the first chapter of cruel summer (the third part of uws) is really long. Would it help if I went in a split into two chapters? itâs definitely meant to be read as one but I want to keep readability in mind.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
chapter 1 of cruel summer (part 3 of upper west side) out now!
summary:
âAnd this edge that youâve been walking, where youâre stable but the ledge is fragile, Iâve pushed you off it, Catra, by coming back here.â
âAdora, you didnât push me off the edge, I fell and thatâs it,â Catra told her, reaching across the patio railing and intertwining her fingers with Adoraâs, squeezing her palm three times before adding, âYouâre just the idiot who jumped in after me.â
Sniffling, Adora squeezed Catraâs hand back. Her blue eyes held within them the reflection of the bleeding sunset painted across the infinite desert sky. The corner of Adoraâs mouth rose as she asked, âYou regret taking my ride request yet?â
A year after the events of upper west side, Catra and Adora are finally at a place where they can move forward with their lives and have a stable future with one another. But when the ghosts of their past begin to show face in Bright Moon with tantalizing requests of Catra and Adora in exchange for the rest of the answers theyâve been looking for, the two have no other choice to back to their hometown in Arizona to uncover the mysteries of their past before their ghosts can sucker them in. With their future on the line, can Adora and Catraâs love beat a ticking clock?
a sequel two years in the making.
thank you to @gimme-tea-bitch for your help and your friendship.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
chapter 1 of cruel summer (part 3 of upper west side) out now!
summary:
âAnd this edge that youâve been walking, where youâre stable but the ledge is fragile, Iâve pushed you off it, Catra, by coming back here.â
âAdora, you didnât push me off the edge, I fell and thatâs it,â Catra told her, reaching across the patio railing and intertwining her fingers with Adoraâs, squeezing her palm three times before adding, âYouâre just the idiot who jumped in after me.â
Sniffling, Adora squeezed Catraâs hand back. Her blue eyes held within them the reflection of the bleeding sunset painted across the infinite desert sky. The corner of Adoraâs mouth rose as she asked, âYou regret taking my ride request yet?â
A year after the events of upper west side, Catra and Adora are finally at a place where they can move forward with their lives and have a stable future with one another. But when the ghosts of their past begin to show face in Bright Moon with tantalizing requests of Catra and Adora in exchange for the rest of the answers theyâve been looking for, the two have no other choice to back to their hometown in Arizona to uncover the mysteries of their past before their ghosts can sucker them in. With their future on the line, can Adora and Catraâs love beat a ticking clock?
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
chapter 1 of cruel summer (part 3 of upper west side) out now!
summary:
âAnd this edge that youâve been walking, where youâre stable but the ledge is fragile, Iâve pushed you off it, Catra, by coming back here.â
âAdora, you didnât push me off the edge, I fell and thatâs it,â Catra told her, reaching across the patio railing and intertwining her fingers with Adoraâs, squeezing her palm three times before adding, âYouâre just the idiot who jumped in after me.â
Sniffling, Adora squeezed Catraâs hand back. Her blue eyes held within them the reflection of the bleeding sunset painted across the infinite desert sky. The corner of Adoraâs mouth rose as she asked, âYou regret taking my ride request yet?â
A year after the events of upper west side, Catra and Adora are finally at a place where they can move forward with their lives and have a stable future with one another. But when the ghosts of their past begin to show face in Bright Moon with tantalizing requests of Catra and Adora in exchange for the rest of the answers they've been looking for, the two have no other choice to go back to their hometown in Arizona to uncover the mysteries of their past before their ghosts can sucker them in. With their future on the line, can Adora and Catra's love beat a ticking clock?
a sequel two years in the making.
thank you to @gimme-tea-bitch for your help and your friendship.
Hi sunflower, what's your thoughts on T Swift's Betty being a catradora song???
Me, taking a break from spop to focus on my mental health and setting better boundaries:
Me, reading this ask:
This ask woke me up from like a deep, sleeping beauty type slumber, not joking. I donât get asked to talk about Taylor Swift often, despite being a fan of hers since I was nine years old (Iâm 22 now *wink*) and we are about to find out why. But I pride myself on taking any fiction piece of media I interact with and connecting it somehow to Taylor Swift. I can do so to varying degrees of success (usually depends on the ships and romance of the world) but there are so many songs of Taylorâs that have just fit Catradora so well for me, both in and out of canon.Â
Some of my favorite examples: out of the woods (AND IT KEPT ME UP AT NIGHT WHEN NOELLE SAID THIS WAS HER TAYLOR SWIFT SONG FOR CATRADORA LIKE GAH CASUAL TS LISTENERS WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND) bad blood, lwymd, donât blame, dancing with our hands tied, the archer, breathe, youâre not sorry, the way I loved you, forever & always, shouldâve said no, safe & sound- I could go on.
But I wonât because I wanna stay on topic and talk about betty. Now I have a number of songs from the folklore/evermore series that are for me catradora songs (weâll get to that in a minute) but this one is⌠challenging. Because I could be like âyes, because [insert casual reason here]â or âno, because [insert casual reason here]â but I canât because Taylor feeds her children well and thereâs several aspects of this song I feel like should be considered.
This biggest one to be considered, for me, is the love triangle aspect. Folklore features at length the betty/james/Augustine love triangle, each of them having one main song on the album from their POV. Betty's is cardigan, augustineâs is august, and jamesâ is betty. (also Iâm going to throw out the gender component for a second; I know taylor says that Betty is about a guyâs apology and I totally vibe with her reasons why she wanted to write a song about a boy apologizing BECAUSE HOW GREAT WOULD THAT BE?) The love triangle makes the application of Catradora iffy at best. Because itâs like, who would be who? I am going to go out on a limb and assume that youâre seeing Catra as James? I think that personality wise, Adora as Betty and Catra as James is not a stoneâs throw away from fitting actually really well. Adoraâs canon journey is one of coming to realize âI know what I want and I know that itâs okay to want itâ and a big part of Catraâs arc is her being like âWell shit⌠there goes my plans. Kind of feeling like a dumbass rnâ especially in s4/s5.Â
(That s4/s5 distinction is important; Iâll show why in a second)Â
But for me, thereâs no augustine. Or one thatâs obvious anyway. I never imagined that either Catra or Adora dated or even had any inclinations with anyone else during the five season run- thatâs just my personal opinion, people are completely welcome to feel free to disagree. I donât think Catra acted even out of distraction with Scorpia or DT, and I think Adora was so focused on being She Ra that when she wasnât thinking about failing/abandoning Catra when she alloted time to do so, she was thinking about the crushing weight of her responsibilities. So you know, not that much time to get back out there. So I rule out what causes James to apologize in the first place- cheating.
Side note about James cheating- Iâm pretty sure Taylor confirmed this, in the long pond studio sessions doc, when sheâs telling Jack Antonoff (MY BOY JACK) and Aaron Dessner ( GRAMMY AWARD WINNING KING) that James âwas a fool!â And James did sleep with Augustine as confirmed in august, but cardigan makes it seem like he was definitely dating Betty before the summer. Maybe Taylor took inspiration from friends and they âwere on break.â I also believe that the kiss in the Heart is the first kiss, that Catra and Adora were never âtogetherâ together before Adora found the sword and defected (again, thatâs just an opinion, but Adora just looks so wonderfully gobsmacked), soâŚ
We can rule out cheating, and I think we can accomplish this and still reserve the essential meaning of the song of âI did something wrong, I see that now, I apologize for doing it, and I still love youâ by widening the lens of what the âdid something wrongâ was (or âdid something badâ you know *wink*). In that wider lens really you could fit either Catra or Adora into the song, but Iâm still going to assume Catra is the James in this scenario based on how much of her redemption arc is formed around her refusal to say sorry and then eventually doing so. Of course there is no standing your porchlight but rather standing while wrestling a bunch of murderous clonesâŚ. HmmâŚ.
But there are some stupid friends! I wholeheartedly believe Catra is James because of the dissing of Bettyâs friends. Thatâs what Catra does to Bow, Glimmer and the rebellion et al., for most of the show and by the end of s4 she has no friends for Adora to even mock (terrible and cruel of me, I know, but itâs true). Also I know people are like âhe called her friends stupid and then expected betty to take him back?â but I scream sing the line âWILL YOU KISS ME ON THE PORCH IN FRONT OF ALL YOUR STUPID FRIENDS?â every time. It brings me serotonin.Â
Along those lines we can ask âWhoâs Inez?â in this situation. When I think gossip no one from the show really comes to mind, well, expect for Double Trouble. But Double Trouble doesnât ever speak to Adora about Catra. This happens vice-versa, and in Betty, James reveals that Inez told Betty he cheated on her.Â
I want to say something controversial⌠Glimmer comes to mind when I think âwhoâs the Inez?â And this is based off of two things: 1) Inezâs closeness to Betty, and 2) Inez drags James out to dry, rightfully so. And when I think of that I think of Glimmer screaming âDo one good thing in your life!â directly in Catraâs face. James gives Inez a bad wrap in Betty. Not cool James.Â
Of course thereâs the pivotal, âwould you tell me to go fuck myself?/ or lead me to the garden?â To me this a fun way of showing thereâs vulnerability to what James is doing, so automatically Iâm led to is the scene where Catra asks Adora to stay, or each time in s5 when Catra risks, basically an identity crisis to let Adora in how she really feels, but thereâs always the potential that Adora could spurn her by not returning her feelings or rejecting her outright.Â
I think the best argument that can be made for âis betty a catradora songâ can really be encapsulated by the lyric(s): âthe worst thing that I ever did is what I did to youâ and âthe only thing I wanna do is make it up to you.â That is what about the song SCREAMS Catra to me. And yeah, it could be argued that Adora hurt Catra pretty brutally (Shadow Weaver makes that point EVEN THOUGH SHE HAD NO RIGHT TO) that she messed up by abandoning Catra- but Adora feels guilt for... literally breathing. Adora is the quintessential embodiment of âpick your battles, no thatâs too many battles, put some back,â but Catra picked one battle first and foremost (yes, she had a few others but this was the one) and that was Adora. Everything that motivated her was surrounded around a narrative of surpassing Adora for a multitude of reasons, and because of that she pretty much hurts Adora every chance she gets after Promise. Adora is really Catraâs first casualty, it makes sense that she has to be her first apology. And I think that after being vibed checked back to back by DT and Glimmer and realizing âoh hey fuck, Iâm still in love with herâ and then almost dying just to not die because Adora saves her, I think much of Catraâs motivation shifts to âhow to do I get Adora to want to stay?âÂ
Thatâs my logic for how Betty could be a catradora song in canon. Now not all of my Taylor associations are with canon catradora, many of them do belong to uws catradora, because itâs a lot easier to apply the more modern details of Taylorâs songs to a modern au. The song Breathe is big that way. (itâs in Upper West Side, itâs the song Adora listens to and cries to after that first ride, I just never mentioned that it was taylor because my conditioned reaction to bringing up taylor is to have my head bit off with someoneâs semi incorrect and slightly sexist opinion that I never, ever ask for) And this ask got me thinking about what it would look like if I applied not Catradora to Betty, but Betty to Catradora. What would it look like if Catra skateboarded and wore black lipstick, Adora wore a cardigan and they had homeroom together until Catra really messed up? What would it look like if they were seventeen when they admitted their feelings for each other instead of 21? What would it look like if they spent a summer fighting but dreaming of each other? What would their love story look like if Catra and Adora were in that town where Taylor envisioned this âsame event that affected three people in different ways?â
quick but INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT thank you to @gimme-tea-bitch for helping me with this, being my beta, and listening to me talk about folklore/evermore.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
for the hope of it all (& what I knew at seventeen) a catradora modern/folklorian au
word count: 23k+
summary:Â âThe worst thing that I ever did,â Catra swallows the words as they bubble in her throat, her gaze split between Adoraâs opal eyes and her grip on the door knob whitening, âwas what I did to you.â
Right where the edge of the woods meets the shores of the east coast, the summer of â97 having turned into the worst autumn of her life, seventeen year old Catra Lewis is ready to admit she doesnât know anything. She didnât know anything when a fight at the end of junior gave her the perfect opportunity to ruin everything between her and her best friend Adora Finlay, she didnât know anything when she got in that car and drove off into her own exile, or when she didnât call that next day, or all of summer, or even the first day of senior year after finding Adora switched the homeroom they were supposed to share. All Catra really knows is that after these months spent apart, she misses Adora, that her one clandestine truth lies in loving her, and that an upcoming party her ex-best friend is throwing for her new ones might be Catraâs last chance to show Adora sheâs willing, finally, to try and be the person Adora always thinks sheâs been.
The string of fate now diverts into the two responses Adora could possibly give- to get the hell off of her porch or to take her hand and follow her into the garden- but Catra will follow the rush wherever it leads, in the desperate hope she still has time to change the ending to their story.
~an experimental she ra folklorian au inspired by the question âis betty by taylor swift a catradora song?â
