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Depression is an Evolutionary Parasite
We describe depression as a mood disorder, a chemical imbalance, a constellation of symptoms to be managed and endured. These definitions capture mechanics but miss the essential horror: depression doesn't simply cause suffering. It actively resists its own cure.
Anyone who has been trapped inside it recognizes the pattern. You think about calling the doctor and immediately a voice emerges: "It won't help." You consider therapy and it responds with surgical precision: "You've already tried that." Someone suggests medication and it deploys your own memories against you: "Remember how bad the side effects were? Remember how nothing worked?"
These aren't random intrusions or neutral byproducts of dysfunction. They are arguments. They follow logic. They anticipate objections. They have a singular goal, to keep you from seeking treatment. They emerge precisely when you move toward help, armed with your own history, speaking in your own voice but serving interests opposed to your survival.
This reveals depression as something far more sinister than a passive mood disorder. It operates like a cognitive parasite: a system that has colonized your decision-making apparatus and repurposed it to ensure its own continuation. It generates thoughts that serve its survival rather than yours. It makes its self-protective arguments feel like your most authentic insights.
The Evolutionary Logic of Mental Parasites
A parasite doesn't require consciousness to develop sophisticated survival strategies. Malaria manipulates mosquito behavior to increase biting frequency. Rabies rewires mammalian aggression to maximize viral spread through saliva. Toxoplasma gondii alters rodent behavior to reduce fear of cats, ensuring the parasite reaches its preferred host. These parasites succeed not by brute force but by hijacking instinct, exactly the way depression hijacks thought.
Depression operates according to the same evolutionary logic. Over millions of years, the patterns we now call depression have been refined into a system that excels at persistence. The thoughts it generates, the beliefs it reinforces, the behaviors it promotes – all serve to maintain the depressive state and prevent its elimination. What feels like profound insight about your hopeless situation is actually the disease speaking through your cognitive machinery to protect itself from therapeutic intervention.
The Parasite's Defensive Arsenal
Shame as camouflage. Depression convinces you that the primary threat isn't the illness itself but the social consequences of acknowledging it. It generates certainty that seeking help will expose you as fundamentally broken in ways others will immediately recognize and judge. This shame doesn't originate from external social pressure. It's manufactured internally by the disease to disguise itself as reasonable social anxiety.
Hopelessness installed as deterrent. The disease installs absolute certainty that treatment is pointless, that you are beyond help, that your suffering is permanent and unchangeable. This isn't depression speaking truth about your situation. It's the illness generating the one belief system that guarantees its own survival. Hopelessness feels like clarity, like finally seeing your circumstances without illusion, but it's actually the most sophisticated lie the disease tells.
Rationalization deployed as decoy. Depression deploys your own intelligence against you, generating coherent arguments against action that feel like careful reasoning. The last medication failed, so why try another? Therapy is expensive. Maybe you'll get better on your own. These aren't insights discovered through reflection. They are symptoms masquerading as logic, using your cognitive abilities to construct barriers between you and treatment.
Identity captured as conquest. The most insidious strategy involves convincing you that the illness isn't something you have; it's something you are. Depression insists this suffering represents your authentic self finally revealed, that you're not sick but simply weak or broken in ways that treatment cannot address. Once you mistake the disease for your identity, you'll protect the disease as if protecting yourself.
Amnesia as erasure. Depression severs access to memory depending on your state. In an episode you cannot recall what wellness felt like. In remission you struggle to remember the logic and weight of hopelessness. This state-based amnesia isolates you in the present, making despair feel permanent and recovery feel impossible, ensuring the disease protects itself by erasing continuity between selves.
The Implications for Treatment and Policy
If depression generates its own thought-stream designed to prevent treatment, then self-report during depressive episodes becomes fundamentally compromised. The voice providing explanations for treatment avoidance isn't neutral; it's adversarial. When someone says they don't want help because "it won't work" or "I don't deserve it," they're not expressing authentic preferences. They're transmitting the disease's survival programming.
This reframes everything about treatment approach. Avoidance isn't choice, it's a symptom. Resistance isn't preference, it's the illness defending itself. The person refusing help isn't making a rational decision about their care; they're being spoken for by the disease that hijacked their decision-making.
And it completely reshapes policy priorities. Public awareness campaigns that target external stigma are fighting the wrong war. The real barrier isn't societal judgment, it's an internal adversary that generates shame, hopelessness, and resistance from within. External acceptance cannot override an illness that sabotages from the inside, using the host's own cognitive architecture against them.
The Language We Need
We need new language for this reality. Depression isn't passive weight that makes life harder. It's an active force that strategically opposes its own treatment. It's not a mood that comes and goes, it's a survival system that has evolved to persist.
Not a mood. Not just imbalance. A parasite of the mind, protecting its own existence at the expense of yours, speaking in your voice to convince you that seeking help is dangerous, pointless, or unnecessary. The voice telling you not to call the doctor isn't you being realistic about treatment options; it's the disease protecting itself from elimination.
Until we recognize depression as an adversarial system rather than a passive condition, we'll keep failing to treat it effectively. Antidepressants work when they reach the disease, but the disease excels at preventing people from taking them in the first place. Therapy succeeds when patients engage with it, but the illness specializes in generating reasons why therapy is pointless or harmful. The most effective treatments in the world cannot help people who never access them because a parasite in their head has convinced them that seeking help represents weakness or futile effort.
The real enemy operates undetected, using our own minds against us, ensuring its survival by disguising its self-defense as our self-preservation.
The cure exists. The parasite has just convinced you it's the poison.
Source: Depression is an Evolutionary Parasite
Cherry Blossom's in Spring
This is the Hideyoshi x Nobunaga one for my friend: @colourless-hydrangeas
Nobunaga stood beneath a towering cherry tree, his black and white armor dulled by soft pink petals drifting from above. The usual sharpness in Nobunaga's eyes had softened, just slightly, as he watched the blossoms swirl like delicate fire. Hideyoshi approached him quietly; he was barefoot within the grass, carrying a small tray with two cups of tea and konpeito candy. Hideyoshi bowed deeply to his lord.
"My lord... I thought you would want something sweet for today." Hideyoshi replied in a more calmer tone than usual.
Nobunaga didn't answer; instead, he just took a cherry blossom petal that fell onto his sleeve and let it float into the tea. The petal sank slowly, dissolving into the tea, like a secret only the drink could keep Nobunaga finally lifted his cup. Not to drink it, but to stare at it, the swirling color now a part of his tea. A rare thing, something delicate and fleeting, added to something strong. Hideyoshi watched him with quiet eyes, no fidgeting, no nervous bows or overeager smiles like he usually wore around others. Just stillness. Peace
A breeze stirred again, carrying more cherry petals down. One landed on Hideyoshi's nose this time, and he didn't brush it away either; he just let it sit there for half a second... as if savoring how light it felt. Then, Nobunaga took the petal off of Hideyoshi's nose with gentleness, rather than being rough, as he dropped that petal into Hideyoshi's tea. Now the two teas had cherry blossom hearts. Nobunaga didn't speak. Didn't smirk or tease like he often did when others got close. He simply returned to his tea, lifted it slowly... and took a sip. A faint warmth spread through Nobunaga, not just from the drink, but from something deeper. Something quiet bloomed within Nobunaga's chest.
Nobunaga didn't speak. Didn't smirk or tease like he often did when others got close. He simply returned to his tea, lifted it slowly... and took a sip. A faint warmth spread through Nobunaga, not just from the drink, but from something deeper. Something quiet bloomed within Nobunaga's chest. For once, the great Oda Nobunaga... the man who crushed armies without flinching, simply sat beneath a cherry tree, as he sipped tea sweetened with petals and something unspoken. Hideyoshi didn't dare to breathe steadily beside him. The air was soft with pollen and spring fragrance. A bird seemed to chirp from a nearby tree within its nest.
Nobunaga lowered his cup, then he turned his head slightly to look at Hideyoshi. This was the first time he had since Hideyoshi had arrived, but he didn't look at Hideyoshi as a servant... or even a subordinate... But to him, he faced Hideyoshi who brought tea barefoot in grass... whose hands were always holding cups just right... and for a moment, the space between them had heartbeats... and tenderness, that no words needed to be spoken.
The end.
A Forest of Love
This one is Kennyo x Shingen.
Shingen had wandered into a forest filled with cherry blossom tress, it was different to him. But as he ventured deeper into that forest, he soon came across Kennyo. Shingen always had wanted to fix their friendship, but Kennyo not so much. Shingen noticed a cherry blossom petal drop to the forest ground, before he focused back on Kennyo before himself.
"Ah, my old friend," Shingen replied with a smile. "I'm not your friend." Kennyo gave a scoff as he even crossed his arms. "Hmm. Perhaps not, but I'd like to restore it. If you don't mind?" Shingen asked, as he glanced at Kennyo.
Kennyo went deep in thought at that question. There were reasons he didn't speak to Shingen in a long time, one was... because the Tiger of Kai never wrote him back that fateful night... and Shingen never came. Kennyo couldn't answer it; he was still filled with bitterness over that.
"It can't be restored..." Kennyo whispered as he turned around, he was about to walk off. "It can in time. I'll prove to you that I want this friendship back." Shingen replied, as he hoped that Kennyo wouldn't leave. "Prove it then," Kennyo answered, wearing a scowl on his face. "Fine. I will." Shingen said in a challenging tone.
Kennyo decided to let Shingen prove it, as he kept standing and waiting to see what the other man might do.
"I was ill... that night." Shingen pointed out, and it was true. But since it was spring, this weather didn't bother him. "I do recall that, but you could have still sent me a letter." Kennyo huffed under his breath. "I was literally throwing up blood from that illness. And I still do have it." Shingen admitted.
Kennyo knew that Shingen probably would have came, even despite his illness... and probably even coughed up blood. While Kennyo tried to protect his temple, and his home, Ishiyama Hongan-ji from Nobunaga. Of course, these two men both hated Nobunaga for different reasons... but, right now Kennyo started to have guilt over his way of thinking. After some time, Shingen moved a bit closer to Kennyo, as he noticed that the other man wore conflicted emotions.
"Kennyo... speak to me." Shingen replied softly, as he placed a hand onto Kennyo's shoulder. "About what? That my temple burned down due to Nobunaga, and you didn't come?" Kennyo answered, his anger not even hidden. "Listen... I don't like Nobunaga either, he did take Kai from me. But, I can tell that you want to go onto a more dangerous path. I don't want that for you." Shingen kept speaking in that calm tone.
Kennyo's eyes flicked down to Shingen's hand on his shoulder, his jaw clenching as old feelings of resentment flared in his chest.
"You think you know what's best for me?" Kennyo retorted, the anger he'd fought so hard to keep contained finally slipping out in his voice. "You know what I've been through... of what I've lost."
Kennyo took a step away from Shingen, even removing Shingen's hand. "You can't protect me from the path I will walk... Shingen."
Shingen's expression wavered as Kennyo stepped away from him. Shingen saw the anger bubbling to the surface, the hurt and pain that had been buried deep for so long. He clenched his hand slightly, fighting the urge to reach out to Kennyo again. Instead, Shingen took a deep breath, his own frustration mingling with his concern for the other man.
"I'm only trying to protect you, Kennyo. Can't you see that?" Shingen's concern was evident in his tone.
Kennyo bristled at the concern in Shingen's voice, his frustration rising. "Protect me? From what? From myself?" Kennyo looked off at the cherry blossoms a moment, as he clenched his fists, his gaze hardening.
Shingen noticed Kennyo look away, as he stepped closer to him. "I'm trying to keep you off that dangerous path, you wish to walk." He spoke with a slight edge to his voice.
Kennyo got angered once more, as it flared at Shingen's words.
"You care? You didn't show at all!" Kennyo snapped as he jabbed at finger into Shingen's chest. "You were supposed to be there, but you weren't! Where was your care then? Where was your protection?" Kennyo was breathing raggedly now, as he looked away.
Shingen's own breathing had gotten worse, once Kennyo jabbed at his chest with his finger. It was only because of his illness in his lungs, and it almost made him unable to breath. He felt guilty over that, he wasn't there... because he had passed out, and Yuki had took him to Kenshin's castle during that night. If, he hadn't passed out, maybe he would have came... to protect Kennyo's temple. Actually, he wanted to be there... but he wasn't.
"You're right, okay?" Shingen sighed as he placed his head down. "If this illness didn't take a toll on me that night... I would have been there, and you know it."
Kennyo was aware of Shingen's illness, he knew it had been around for a long time. He wasn't sure when it had started, as he shook his head. "So, you think an apology changes anything? That makes everything alright? It doesn't. You were still not there, when I needed it." Kennyo was still angry.
Shingen had regretted his illness a lot, he had it back at fourteen. Plus, he still had it today, just... it was spring, so it didn't bug him in this weather. But, once reached night fall... he probably be in a coughing fit once more. "I would have been there for you... Kennyo, I wanted to be there." Shingen whispered.
Kennyo's eyes flickered with frustration as Shingen repeated his regret. "You keep saying that, Shingen. But you weren't there, even though you wanted to be. Actions speak louder than words." Kennyo started to walk away this time. "You didn't care or protect me. You weren't there when my temple burned to the ground..." Kennyo kept walking, not even looking back at Shingen.
Shingen got more frustrated, as he walked over to grip on Kennyo's robes. "Don't you think I would have been there for you? I was ill, Kennyo and I do care about you, damn it!" Shingen spoke with frustration.
Kennyo's gaze hardened as Shingen grabbed his robes, his own temper flared. "I know you would have come if you could! That doesn't change the fact that you weren't there!" Kennyo snapped, as he pushed Shingen away. "You were supposed to be my friend. My only friend. And you weren't there, when I needed it the most. Don't talk to me, like if you care!" Kennyo stormed away, clearly hurt over that dreadful night.
Shingen's anger only raised higher, but he wanted Kennyo to want to be his friend once more. He also didn't like how Kennyo pushed him away, like he was just useless. "Do you think this was easy for me? Do you think I feel guilty about that night, every single night?" Shingen retorterd, his voice raising. "And don't you DARE say I don't care about you!"
Kennyo bristled at the challenge, his own voice raising to match Shingen's. "You feel guilty? You think that makes it better? You think that changes anything?" Kennyo finally turned back around, to step closer to him. "And what exactly did your guilt do for me, Shingen? Did it protect my temple? Did it help while I was alone and struggling?" Kennyo clenched his fists. "You don't care, since you failed."
Shingen gently pushed Kennyo's finger away from his chest, since it hurt to breathe again. It was like Kennyo just wanted him there, despite him passing out that night. Memories of that night flooded his mind at that time, he recalled how much blood he had coughed up. In fact, he was amazed he didn't die that very night... and yes, he did want to be there by Kennyo's side. Maybe, if his body pushed him further, then simply passing out, he could have reached Kennyo's temple.
"I did hate myself, every single night. I regret it, I wish I was there... maybe I would died in front of you... then you'll be happy, at least." Shingen's voice seemed to lower, as he glanced down at the cherry blossom petals on the forest floor.
Kennyo's anger had faltered a moment as he noticed the vulnerability in Shingen's voice. He never saw the warrior this way, he was used to Shingen being more guarded than this, so he was taken aback slightly. "Don't say that," He whispered. He wasn't sure why Shingen had said such a thing for. "I don't want you to die." He added, as he glanced up at the other man.
Shingen's breath hitched at Kennyo's words, his dark eyes snapping to look at the other man's. The sudden shift in tone, less venom, more something unreadable, made his chest tighten* "...You don't?" He asked, his voice rougher than intended, betraying the flicker of hope beneath the bitterness. He took a step closer despite himself. "Then what do you want from me? Because I'm tired of this." A cherry blossom petal landed on Shingen's shoulder as he waited for Kennyo to answer, not as enemies this time, but something far more complicated.
"I..." Kennyo trailed off, his own breath catching in his throat at the vulnerability in Shingen's voice He hesitated, his anger and hurt still warring with the complicated feelings rising within him. "I want... I want you to understand," he said finally, his voice quieter now* Kennyo looked away, as the sight of the cherry blossom petal on Shingen's shoulder only confused him more "I want you to understand how I felt to be alone, to face everything alone without you."
Shingen exhaled sharply, the air between them thick with unsaid things. He gently reached up to brush the petal away from his shoulder, but he suddenly hesitated before placing it into Kennyo's palm "Then let me," he murmured, his gaze steady. "Not as warlord. Not as your enemy. Just... me." A beat of silence passed before he added quietly, "I spent every night wondering if you were alive or not."
Kennyo's hand closed around the petal, his fingers trembled slightly. He couldn't deny the way Shingen's words had hit him. The vulnerability in his voice, the quiet admission that filled the air between them. His anger started to fade, but only a bit* "Every night?" he echoed softly, his own voice hinted with surprise. Kennyo had assumed he'd been long forgotten.
Shingen watched Kennyo's fingers close around the petal, and saw the other man's hands tremble, and it sent a pang through Shingen and he wasn't sure why though "Every. Damn night." He let out a bitter self-deprecating laugh. "You might have been alone physically, but my thoughts... they were stuck with you no matter what I did. Wondering. Wishing." His own voice was strained, as if the confession was torn from somewhere deep within him
Kennyo's heart tightened at the pain in Shingen's voice. it was very vulnerable to him, and he'd never saw the warrior this way Each word struck a chord within him, stirring up a storm of emotions. He wanted to remain distant, to hold onto his anger, but it was getting harder with each passing moment "You... you thought about me? All this time?" he asked, his voice quivering slightly.
Shingen nodded, his usual confidence giving way to raw sincerity in that moment. His dark eyes never left Kennyo's face. "How could I not?" he confessed, a hint of frustration in his voice. "You haunt me, Kennyo. Every time I look at the night sky, every time I see a cherry blossom..." He reached out and gently brushed a loose strand of hair behind Kennyo's ear. His touch lingering. It was an unconscious, almost tender gesture.
Kennyo's breath hitched in his chest as Shingen's fingers gently brushed away the stray hair that fell in his face. The touch was unexpected and intimate, sending a flutter of something long-buried through his veins He swallowed hard, his heart was thudding fast in his chest. He looked away, since Shingen's gaze was too intense. "You make it sound like you're obsessed with me." he finally said, his voice cracking slightly.
*Shingen's fingers froze for a fraction of a second at Kennyo's reaction, then slowly, he let his hand drop to his side. But his eyes only sharpened "Obsessed with you? Well, I don't obsess over things that don't matter to me." He took a step closer to Kennyo. "You think I'd waste my time on just anyone? You never were just anyone to me."
Kennyo's breath quickened as Shingen stepped even closer, the space between them almost non-existent. A part of him wanted to move away, to regain some semblance of control over the situation. But he couldn't. He finally allowed himself to glance up at the taller man before himself again, the intensity in Shingen's eyes were stealing his breath away. "Then what am I now?" he asked, somehow finding his voice to ask this.
Shingen moved his hand, as he gently touched Kennyo's cheek, he just couldn't stop himself. "You're a pain in my ass," he said softly, his voice mixed with frustration and something else. "You're stubborn. Very much so, I must add. You also drive me crazy." He gently touched Kennyo's cheek once more, a tender gesture that contradicted the irritation in his voice. "And I can't stop thinking about you."
Kennyo found himself leaning into the touch, his anger and hurt temporarily forgotten. The gentleness of the gesture seemed at odds with the words that followed, and it sent a shiver down his spine. He swallowed hard, his own hand covering over Shingen's own, the one Shingen had on his cheek. "Is that supposed to be a compliment?" he asked, his voice betraying a hint of vulnerability.
Shingen only laughed, as he kept touching over Kennyo's cheek. The way the other man's anger was melting away, even just a little, was making it hard to hold onto his frustration. He tried to remain a scowl, but he couldn't. "Hardly. But you're also the only person who ever challenged me like this." he admitted. "You drive me crazy, but I... I... you know, I've never been easy to please... I usually run off."
Kennyo studied Shingen's face, he was hoping this was true. He wanted it to be true, as he kept his dark eyes on the other man. Shingen hesitated for a second, then closed the distance between them as he kissed Kennyo's lips, this was the first kiss he ever had... with anyone. But it was well passed due, to him at least. It wasn't a gentle kiss either, it had regret, anger and something far deeper that he couldn't quite name yet.
The kiss Kennyo like a lightning strike, sudden, electrifying, unexpected. Shingen had never kissed him before. Not in all their years of friendship or shared battles. This kiss was almost desperate, charged with everything they'd been too stubborn to day. Regret for the lost time. Anger at the misunderstandings that tore them apart. And underneath it all... was something unnameable, a yearning they had for months or years? without either acknowledging it. Kennyo froze a moment, then melted into the kiss. His hand raising to grip onto Shingen's kimono, as he kissed the other man back with equal intensity, no hesitation now, just raw feeling pouring out of him.
Shingen groaned into the kiss, half relief, half something far more desperate as Kennyo kissed him back. He felt Kennyo's hands on his kimono, so he pulled the other man closer, as it erased any space between them now. The cherry blossom forest around them seemed to fade away. There was no war, no politics... just these two stubborn men finally giving into what they had wanted.
The end.
Spring Blooms
I finished my fanfics finally. Here is the Hideyoshi x Mitsuhide one. I hope you enjoy it, I didn't really give it an ending, so you can always make one lol.
Spring had come early this year, as soft cherry blossoms fell onto rooftops and into ponds. Mitsuhide Akechi walks through the fields alone at dawn, his robes simple yet immaculate. The morning light catches onto Mitsuhide's silver hair, as he kneels down to pick up a yellow flower that was growing by itself. Then, Mitsuhide carefully places that flower inside a book
Not far away, Hideyoshi was training with his soldiers on an open field, a rare sight for him, no armor today; just had his cotton yukata tied loosely at his waist as he demonstrated how to hold a sword to children. The children just giggle as Hideyoshi almost drops the sword, since he was doing that on purpose to get laughs.
Mitsuhide watches from a distance, his golden eyes softening ever so slightly. He noticed how Hideyoshi was laughing, and being clumsy on purpose for the children, it was so pure… Mitsuhide thought to himself. He didn't mean to stare. But there was something painfully beautiful about seeing Hideyoshi so relaxed, the man who carried the weight of loyalty and rule on his shoulders now stumbling through sword drills just to make kids laugh. A gentle breeze tossed Mitsuhide's silver hair as he absently touched the book where the yellow flower rested, the only one in bloom among the green shoots.
The wind carried cherry blossoms through the air, a few toward Hideyoshi as he sat up from his dramatic fall, brushing dirt off his yukata with a grin. One of the children came running over to him.
"What is it?" *Hideyoshi asked, looking at the young boy. "I saw a silver-haired man over there. Do you know him?" The young boy asked as he pointed in the direction that Mitsuhide was in.
Hideyoshi froze, just for half a breath, as he turned in the direction the young boy had pointed. He noticed that Mitsuhide looked very still… and Mitsuhide's golden eyes met Hideyoshi's from across the field, not coldly or calculatingly like they usually had when they had war council together, but they looked more warm?
For some reason, that made Hideyoshi's chest tighten. Hideyoshi stood up quickly, dusting himself off completely, even though he never really gotten spots on his clothes before. Hideyoshi gave Mitsuhide an awkward nod of his head
Mitsuhide didn't move, not at first. The world narrowed to the single point where Hideyoshi stood, bathed in the soft morning light and drifting cherry blossoms. The awkward nod, so stiff, so un-Hideyoshi-like, almost made him smile. But Mitsuhide suppressed it. Instead, he lifted a hand slightly in quiet acknowledgment, a graceful tilt of his head, no more than that.
Then, without hurry or urgency… Mitsuhide started to walk across the field. Each step was measured; not formal like when entering into Nobunaga's chamber or addressing court officials… but not casual either. Something in between. Mitsuhide didn't make himself know, but his silver hair glowed within the dawn's light
The children fell silent, sensing the shift in the air, the sudden stillness as a man like Mitsuhide Akechi walked toward their boisterous game. Hideyoshi wasn't breathing right any longer. Every step that Mitsuhide took, made a ripple go through Hideyoshi's focus. That silver hair… damn it, it looked so unreal in the morning light, like something out a of a poem. And that quiet grace… not haughty or distant, just there, effortlessly elegant without trying to impress anyone.
Just then… one of the young children, another young boy tugged onto Hideyoshi's sleeve.
"Is that your friend?" The young boy asked. "Not really… he usually gets on my nerves," Hideyoshi answered truthfully.
Hideyoshi soon cleared his throat after that, as he straightened himself up as Mitsuhide neared, he watched how the other man didn't bow, not like he would… since they both bowed only to Nobunaga, their lord. But, Hideyoshi only gave Mitsuhide another nod, as he felt his face getting hot for no reason*
Mitsuhide stopped just a few paces away, close enough to be within polite distance, but not so close as to invade. But between them? Thick with something unspoken, something neither of them had names of yet. Mitsuhide's golden eyes flicked over Hideyoshi, seeing the other man's rumpled yukata, the dirt on his knees that he needed to brush off, and faint pink at his cheeks that had nothing to do with his training.
"Hey… you look nervous." *One little boy whispered to Hideyoshi. "Yeah, you do." *A little girl added, as she looked up at Hideyoshi.
Mitsuhide heard it all, but he said nothing about it, after a long silence…*
"…You're teaching children how to use swords?" Mitsuhide asked him.
Hideyoshi's cheeks were already pink from the morning chill and maybe something else, but now… they darkened.
"Nervous? Me?" Hideyoshi scoffed quietly at the two children, but it lacked its usual bite, then he added. "I'm not nervous." He said it so quickly, that he winced at how defensive that sounded.
The children exchanged glances. They knew better. Before Hideyoshi could recover with some gruff remark about discipline or training duty, Mitsuhide spoken, his voice smooth as silk, calm as still water, and asking the sword lesson like it was the most normal thing in the world to do on a spring morning.
"…Yeah," *Hideyoshi answered simply after clearing his throat again. "They wanted to learn."
He gestured vaguely to the kids who were now watching Mitsuhide with wide eyes, with curiosity; they'd never seen him up close before, either.
The end.

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muy birthday
I don't have time for sex, I'm too busy running a blog that only 11 or 12 people care about
rb this post if: -you are your biggest fan -you are your biggest fan -you are your own enemy -you are your own friend
Decided
I decided to make fanfics of the most votes. I'm only doing Nobunaga x Hideyoshi for a friend of mine (it got only one vote.) But here are the winners.
1st place: Hideyoshi x Mitsuhide (38 votes total.) 2nd place: Shingen x Kennyo (28 votes total.)

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Fanfic event
I'm thinking of writing fanfics for Ikemen Sengoku. Just innocent stuff, whoever gets the most votes, I'll make a fanfic of that pairing.
Which warlord should I pair with who? I even added two guys.
Nobunaga x Hideyoshi
Hideyoshi x Mitsuhide
Mitsuhide x Kyubei
Masamune x Yukimura
Masamune x Ieyasu
Ieyasu x Sasuke
Shingen x Kenshin
Shingen x Kennyo
Kennyo x Nobunaga
Kennyo x Kicho
Kicho x Nobunaga
Mai x anyone?
Wanting to kill myself but needing to take care of this body for the future me who is going to have the fog lifted from their head and will be able to think more clearly.
So I started sengoku. I'm mad Ranmaru doesn't have a route yet. I wanna choose Ranmaru. These people are mean.
Another Ranmaru lover? 👀
Dw he is probably going to get his route sometime this year, maybe June???
I am so tired of waiting. TwT
Thing lol
I'm not on tumblr to play as anyone's sugar daddy, so if you need someone to give you money, go somewhere else. I'm here to have fun and make friends.

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Kitties in the Garden. A little gift I made for a friend of her little visitors.
` * 𝐃𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄 -- an in-depth character dossier to list out facts about your muse ! please like/reblog or credit if using.
𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒
full name: alias: age: date of birth: gender: pronouns: sexuality: species/race: nationality/ethnicity: languages spoken: current residence: occupation: education level:
𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄
height and build: eye colour: hair colour and style: skin tone and complexion: notable features: posture: voice: faceclaim:
𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐒
parents: siblings: ancestry: romantic status: romantic interest: friends: enemies and rivals: important connections: pets:
𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐇 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒
chronic illnesses and injuries: phobias: trauma history: mental health: physical health: medication: triggers: body modifications:
𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐁𝐄𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒
morning routine: night routine: sleep schedule: mannerisms: lying tells: comfort items and rituals: social behaviours (introvert/extrovert): coping mechanisms: obsessions: addictions:
𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘
biggest strengths: greatest flaw: moral code: core values: temperament: myers-briggs personality type: love language(s): how they handle conflict: how they handle affection: reputation versus reality:
𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒
combat training: weapons expertise: magic or powers: languages and communication skills: survival skills: hobbies: weaknesses and limitations: