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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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All I want for Christmas... is you.
Simon grinned and nodded. âYeah itâs a big question and Iâm totally okay with you saying no. Please donât feel obligated.â He pulled at his pants some before clearing his throat. âIâve been, uhm, thinking about Christmas⌠Iâd really like to go home but Iâd really like if you went with me.â He took hold of Griffinâs hand gently.Â
Stunned into silence, Griffin's expression didn't change when Simon took his hand as though he hadn't fully processed the question. Then, suddenly, he pulled his hand away to throw his arms around the other teen, hugging him tightly and pressing quick kisses against his shoulder neck and cheek. "You." Kiss. "Are." Another kiss. "Amazing." He pulled back with a bright grin and nodded quickly. "Yes! I want to. I'd love too."
All I want for Christmas... is you.
( alphagriffinxavier )
Simon plopped next to Griffin on the couch in the library. He rubbed softly against Griffinâs side with a quiet purr. âHey Handsome. Howâs the studying going?â He asked after pressing a kiss to to his cheek. âSo I have something to ask you and I know I meant to Thanksgiving but we were having a good time and I forgot.âÂ
Griffin pulled an earbud from his ear and sighed happily, rumbling back with his own purr when Simon curled up beside him. "Same old same old." His ears perked with interest at his boyfriend's tone, enough for him to press pause and pull the second headphone from his ear. "You do?"
Torture || Griffin&Silas
"I can jusâ read to ya orâŚ. orâŚ. um⌠you talkân I listen." Silas whimpered, feeling rather uneasy by now and the closer they got to studying and the library, the worse it got. He hadnât exactly told the other yet⌠how far behind he really was. The definition of stupid definitely was the best way to describe himself.Â
He thought Griffin was blind. How the hell could he find the library better than Silas? Okay, not that heâd ever actively searched for it⌠ever. âAnd if I ainât? Then⌠I wasted time fer nothinâ.â He shrugged. He was convinced he wouldnât make it. There was just no way. He glanced around the big, space-y room and swallowed, his palms sweaty and itchy and he just wanted to run and hide somewhere.
"If we have any questions though this way we can just search them. I can search them too and it won't make everything feel one sided because I can't accurately understand what you're trying to explain or vice versa." Griffin cleared his throat. "Don't worry about the listening part though. I'm not about to shut up any time soon."
For a few moments, Griffin purposely ignored the part about wasting time, then he turned slowly. "You're spending time with me." His voice was quiet and hesitant. "I-- I know sometimes I can be kind of a jerk but... but I don't think any time I'm with you is wasted. Even if we're just studying in the library."
Torture || Griffin&Silas
( alphagriffinxavier )
"Pleaseâ" Silas whined, tugging on the arm that held his sleeve and kept tugging him along the corridor. ââm jusâ gonna hide somewhere⌠fârever anâ they canât kick me out." He reasoned, glancing at the other, his ears peeled back. He knew heâd agreed to let Isaac and Griffin help him, but that?Â
Studying? In the library? Could there be anything worse? âPlease, âm gonna⌠âm gonna⌠do whatevâr ya wanâ me ta.. jusâ..â He whined yet again.Â
Like he had been doing, Griffin continued to ignore Silas' protests, dragging his roommate down towards the library. "We need to go to the library though! There's computers in there set up with accessibility aids so that I can use them."
He kept tugging, his tail curling around his legs as he reached out and pushed open the doors, pulling Silas into the room. "Anyways, you're not going to need to hide because you're going to pass your exams, end of story."

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Week 11: Pens out no cheating
I am going to fail. Everything.
I can't focus I can't think I'm completely losing my head trying to study. It's so fucking hard. There, I said it. I can't just study my notes like other kids. Well I guess I can but I have to listen to them instead. It just takes up so much more time than simple pen and paper. Even when my actual exams come around what are the professors going to do with me? I have to have the exam orally or on a computer somehow in a way that won't disturb anyone else.
They don't have time to sit down and help me individually and quite honestly? They shouldn't have to. I want to scream. It sucks. On top of that I'm completely panicking over what I'm going to do about Silas. I want him to pass. I'm completely petrified that he won't.
Another thing I'm stressing out about; I'm about 99.999% sure Simon is going home for the holidays. I want to go with him so badly it feels like a part of me is tearing inside. I want to leave Brightwood for the first time since I walked on campus. Of course I want to come back but... I don't know what I want. I'd just like to get away and I can't imagine a better vacation than one with Simon in it. The only thing I could think of would be one that had Silas too.
But I really really want to go home with Simon. I want to meet his family. I want to experience an actual christmas where I know the people I love and care about won't be taken from me the next day because they started their first heat, discovered their status, or hell, even because they got adopted.
I keep talking about what I want. It's weird. Before Brightwood, I never even considered the option of being able to want something. Not since... I went blind.
I have a best friend and a boyfriend. My life should be perfect! So why do I feel like it's the calm before the storm?
Turn it on and off again
 "You know how to touch-type?" he asked. "Or - need a braille keyboard? If you canât log on without voice commands, I can set one up to boot automatically with the assistive technology enabled," he said, clearly mulling it over. "Be a nuisance if I did it to all of them. Maybe a couple, in case your usual machine is broken or in useâŚ"
Griffin blinked, facing him in surprise. "You could do that? F-for me?" He paused momentarily before adding, "I-- I know how to touch type kind of. I make a lot of mistakes, especially on these computers because I'm still not used to them yet. The keys are further spread apart than mine back at-- than I am used to."
Thanksgiving || Griffin&Silas
Silas ducked slightly, grumbling quietly to himself. âThanks.â He mumbled and shuffled his feet. âYeah, yeah sure. âm thankful fer ya, too.â He blushed slightly, reaching out to pat the otherâs shoulder.Â
"Oh, buâ⌠can we⌠can I bring someone fer it? âm sure he ainât gonna eat without ma makinâ sure he does." He smiled a little, his heart skipping a beat at the thought of the other. They hadnât seen each other since that day.. he really hoped Isaac still liked him and that Griffin liked him.
At that, Griffin could barely keep the grin off his face. Silas was thankful for him too? Hearing it said was surprisingly heartwarming.
"Yeah, yeah of course." Griffin's ears flicked curiously. Who else did Silas want to invite? "I'd love to meet him!" Hesitating, Griffin ran his fingers over his tail once again. "Are.. are you okay with Simon joining us later too?"
Week 10: "Me, you, and the experiment"
I feel like I'm in another world at Brightwood. It's like a movie only real life. Everything is actually turning out okay. Even some of those kids that used to push me around have settled down. Maybe it's just the holidays that has everyone putting aside their differences but... it feels like more than that. Whatever it is, the change is nice.
I managed to get presents for Simon and Silas. I even got something for Isaac though I don't know him very well, Headmaster, Professor Walsh, and a few others. It's nothing much, just candy and cards, but it's the thought that counts right? I hope they like the cards though. I spent a lot of time on them. They're... well, I don't know if they're pretty or not. They feel cool. Most of them have cool snowflake designs I cut into them with the words "Happy Holiday's" printed on them, then the same thing in braille pressed in underneath.
I think Simon plans on going home for Christmas. I'm... I'm going to miss him. It's going to suck spending the holidays without him. I want to ask if I could go home with him and spend it with him. Maybe he thinks I'm going home for the holidays too. It's not like I ever answer questions about my family when he asks them. I don't know I guess. Silas might be sticking around too. I haven't asked him. I haven't asked anyone.
Silas and Isaac are cute. Simon tells me about them but even I know when Silas hangs out with him. He's... happier sometimes. Now that the holidays are almost here homework has been slowing down surprisingly. I'm used to it picking up as we neared the holidays.
I can safely say that Brightwood is the best school I've ever been too. It... gives me hope for a future I didn't imagine was possible. It's easy to forget that outside these walls people treat each other differently. Inside we're equals. I... I love that. That's my favorite part about Brightwood and being a part of this experiment. We forget that it's an experiment.
And isn't that the goal overall?
Week Nine: The Road So Far
I really like it here.
Brightwood. It's not what I expected. I don't really know what I was expecting in the first place, but it wasn't this. It's so much more than I could have ever anticipated.
Simon, Silas, my teachers? Even the Headmaster, they make it worth it. Sure some of the students are still dicks but that's going to happen anywhere. Back at the home I took hits more often than here. Back there they knew where to hit so a mark didn't show. At least here I have a meal every day and a bed to sleep on.
I realized I focus a lot more on school than a lot of students. They don't have to worry about getting kicked out. If my grades drop? What happens? Will they stop paying for my tuition? Will I get kicked out of the experiment? Where will they send me? It's not like I have anywhere to go?
Even now I'm trying to find ways to get christmas presents for people but I don't have any money. Am I allowed to sell my services as a tutor? Who would even want a blind tutor anyways? Sometimes I feel like I have no future. I know I do. I know when I turn eighteen I'll be able to collect me inheritance but... I didn't earn it. I feel like I'm cheating. Here I am at this school for free and when if I finally graduate I'm just going to get handed all this money? My parents worked hard for it! Why is it just being given to me?! I didn't earn it! I don't deserve it!
I keep my grades up because it feels like I'm earning my place at this school. I can't afford it but at the very least I can prove academically I'm smart enough to compete with paying students here? It's... stressful. And wrong. And Silas terrifies me by not doing his school work. I don't want to lose him. I really can't lose him. I have to find a way to get him to focus, get him to do just enough work that he's not in danger of failing. I know he can do it. He's not stupid like he thinks he is. Silas just doesn't do well when presented with a sheet of paper and told "fill this out for tomorrow." I feel like he needs to understand the value a personal task has for him. What will he get out of doing his homework? Lately it's been nothing, so he doesn't do it. But if his homework had personal value for him I feel like he might be more interested.

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Turn it on and off again
 "You donâtâ have you never used one before? HereâŚ"
A little abruptly, Ethan took hold of Griffinâs hand, guiding it to the button. âItâs the only one that feels like that. You hold it and eventually you will hear the machine turn off, or at least the fan stop turning. If you donât hear that, put your hand hereâŚâ and he placed his hand on top of the base unit, ââŚand youâll feel it slow down.â
"No... not these one's."Â Being careful not to press too hard, Griffin felt around the edges of the button a few times to make sure he would remember it then let the other move his hand again. He had never thought of doing that before. The machine seemed to hum under him proving it was still on and after a moment the teen hesitantly pulled his hand away.
"That-- wow. Thank you."
Turn it on and off again
"Are you sure you turned the machine off, and left it off for five minutes as I advised?" Ethan asked, his voice clearly on the verge of losing his patience.
"I-I don't know how to turn it off without the sound. I don't know how to use it if I can't hear what button I'm pressing." Griffin ducked his head, ears lowered at the admission.
Simon laughed when Griffin looked so spaced out. âGood, letâs go get in the line before it gets any worse okay?â He took his boy friendâs hand and lead him over to get food. âSo from my vantage point I think I just spotted Silas holding hands with someone.â He whispered into Griffinâs ear as he gently wrapped his arms around him. âOh, I had a question for you!âÂ
Griffin let himself be tugged along without protest. His tail had happily curled with Simon's and he let their fingers thread together only to snuggle deeper into his boyfriend's hold. "Wait really?! Who's he with?" His ears flicked in surprise. "Ask away."
"Yeah I know. Youâre still cold though, let me warm you up." He grinned as he leaned down to kiss Griffin. "Hmm I think so. Our hill is covered we can sled down it. And build a snowman up there. Sound good? We should eat first though."
"How are you going to warm me uâ" Griffinâs words cut off in a surprised pleased noise when Simon kissed him, his arms falling down to lightly grip his boyfriendâs waist. He blinked slowly as he refocused on Simonâs words. "Huh? Oh. Yeah. Foods good. I like food."
Thanksgiving || Griffin&Silas
Silas had been trying to squeeze in an hour of sleep before the whole thanksgiving thing started, but then there was a very happy and very loud Griffin bouncing next to his bed and he turned to look at him, grumbling quietly. How could he say no?Â
Griffin was older than him, but nobody could tell him he acted like it or even looked it. ââm cominâ.â He nodded and got out of bed, stretching and pulling on his shoes. âYa wanna spend thanksgivinâ witâ me?â He raised a brow.Â
Griffinâs grin fell away completely at Silasâ grumble only to return slowly when the boy said he would come. Trying to keep his excitement in check, Griffin caught his tail swishing around his legs and held it still but he couldnât keep himself from bouncing excitedly or his fur from fluffing up.
"Yeah of course I do. Iâm thankful for you." Griffin blushed, ducking his head away and running his hands over his tail again. "Do you want to spend thanksgiving with me?"

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Simon was standing in the cafeteria looking around as casually as he could. He was trying to find Griffin but the sudden arms around his waist and cold nose in his neck told him Griffin had found him first. âJesus babe, your freezing.â He laughed as he cuddled the boy close. âYeah happy thanksgiving.â
Griffin laughed and nuzzled closer when Simon cuddled him, playfully nipping at Simon's ear and his tail twining with his. "Well it's snowing out." He grinned happily and flecks of snow melted in his dark hair. "Do you think there's enough to go sledding? Or to build a snowman?"
alphasilaswalker
"Silas Silas Silas!" Griffin came sprinting into their room and skidded to a stop beside his roommateâs bunk, grinning excitedly. "Come on come on! Itâs Thanksgiving! They have candy and cake and food all in the cafeteria!" Hesitating, his smile faltered as he touched his friendâs arm gently. "Donât you want to come down?"