...Then Comes a Man with the Baby Carriage.

I had originally stared this blog many years ago, and it dealt with my infertility journey.

I had attempted to get pregnant a year after my marriage....and a year after trying, I was finally pregnant but suffered a misscarriage at 7 weeks. This was in 2014.

Then came the long years of sadness and hopelessness. I tried some fertility treatments reccomended by my obgyn with no luck. I went through a lot of tears.

Then out of nowhere, 7 years later, I found out i was pregnant again. It literally felt too good to be true. And at the end it was. I had been bleeding the entire time, with really bad nausea and cramps, and it turns out, i had an ectopic pregnancy. This was very traumatizing. I couldn't understand why God would do this to me. Why I had to go through so much pain. This occurred in October 2021.

At this point, my husband and i had lost all hope in ever becoming parents. We wanted to start saving up for potentially adopting a baby.

But of couse we were still going to keep trying on our own. So four months after my miscarriage, the doctor had given us the okay to attempt to try again.

And just like magic, the month that we started tryng again...I got pregnant once more. Needless to say, I was terrified. I knew that a second ectopic pregnancy was very likely.

Fortuantely, that was not the case.

I will say though, that i went through 8 months of nausea and feeling miserable. I literally dont know how i survived those months. In September I found out I had gstational diabetes. So that was very tough on me as well. I had so much blood work done, and i had to prick my finger daily 4 times a day. It was a nightmare.

But it was all worth it. At 37 weeks, I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl. We had been wanting her for 10 long years. She is about to turn 5 months in 2 weeks and we are jus head over heels with her.

My journey was long and painful, but someone finally had mercy on me.

This blog was meant for my fertility journey, but it will now be transformd into my motherhood journey. :)

We are moving forward. I wont say that I'm at peace yet.

I kept thinking that I'd be at peace once the 12 weeks are over...BUT lets be honest, I wont be at peace til I have my baby in my arms 100% healthy.

So far, my nausea has gotten better. I mean its still a horrifying experience, but its nothing compared to the 3 days in a row that I could not sleep.

I still have not gotten a full night's sleep because I am always super bloated.

My main issue is that im super constipated. So i need to work on my food choices. Plus my water intake is not that good, hence my pee smelling gross.

Anyway, I'm wishing myself luck with that.

Today was a better day. Yesterday my nausea and constipation had me down, but today was way better.

I'm still a bit constipated though so thats a problem, especially when I'm trying to sleep.

So last weekend was absolute HELL! My nausea was out of this world. I was constipated and I did NOT sleep in 3 days. I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm not. Every time I would lay down I felt the food in my throat so I couldn't stay laying down. I tried taking mini naps sitting up, but the same thing kept happening. The food kept coming up. I was so miserably wondering what sins I was paying for.

Finally on Monday, i had to call out of work, which is difficult for me to do because i am a first time teacher and I dont want my absences to determine whether i get a contract next year. Anyway, my husband was able to contact my doctor to see if he could see me as soon as possibly and he did. He prescribed anti nausea pills, but nothing for my constipation. So although I was able to semi control my nausea, I was still struggling with a very full tummy. All week I was able to sleep though...until last night.

March 26, 2022

I'm still not 100% sure on how far along i am, but based on my hcg I'm guessing 7 weeks.

So my first obstacle has been surpassed. I was concerned about another ectopic pregnancy, but thankfully that is NOT the case.

Now I'm concerned about molar pregnancy, early miscarriage, late miscarriage and stillbirth. Like wtf. I dont understand how there's so many women who can successfully have children with all these obstacles in the way.

March 17, 2022- Thursday

Today has been an okay day. I did start off by feeling cramp-like sensation in my uterus. But it also feels like trapped gas, and perhaps because my underwear were a little tight. After I changed underwear I felt way better.

So aside from that I'm feeling positive today.

March 15, 2022

So yesterday I had a full on meltdown.

Last Friday I had my second blood work done and the doctor had told me that he was going to call me by the end of the day to give me the results. Well he didn't. So Monday morning (yesterday) I called him and the nurses answered and told me he was still going to call me. So that worried me.

I had a class to go to, in which I couldn't concentrate at all because I was waiting for his call. After my class (still no call), I checked my email, and I had notes from my doctor regarding my blood tests. He titled it 'Threatened Miscarriage'.

I googled it and freaked the eff out! It pretty much says that a miscarriage will most likely happen. So i had a huge meltdown.

I was at my mom's house and I hadn't told her that I was pregnant because I wanted to surprise her on mother's day if it all went well. But since I was having my meltdown, I told her.

My husband arrived and was trying to calm me down. He called the doctor to ask about what was going on and finally I was able to talk to his assistant.

She told me that I needed to get blood work done again on friday, which is in 3 days. And that Next tuesday I had an ultrasound scheduled. She said that my levels were going up so my pregnancy looked healthy so far. That completely gave me hope once more.

I just need my levels to continue going up on Friday...then my next obstacle will be the ultrasound and make sure that the baby is in the right spot. After that, it will be a matter of waiting for my first trimester to pass. Which its 8 more long weeks!

March 12, 2022

So in my previous post I updated on my past miscarriage in 2014. My ectopic pregnancy last year in October 2021.

So at CD 30 I took a pregnancy test at night and it was a very faded positive.

I kept taking the tests every day and on CD 34 ( Wednesday March 9, 2022) I had a doctor's appointment and got blood work done. The doctor advised me that I would need to get blood work done again on Friday to see if the hormone levels go up or down. He also said he would call me by the end of the day but he DID NOT, so right now its the weekend and I'm dying of anxiety because of it. First thing on monday I will be calling him for any updates.

According to my pregnancy app, I should be around 5 weeks right now. So far, my only symptoms are backaches. It just scares me because its on my lower back. But hopefully its normal.

March 12, 2022

I hadn't updated this blog since 2019. In my last entry i was using ovulation sticks daily. I'm not sure when I stopped. However I can say that for those next years I still did not get pregnant.

However, on October of 2021, which was 5 months ago, I randomly got pregnant. Lemme talk a bit about that experience.

First of all, I had a miscarriage in 2014 and had tried conceiving again without luck. So around October of last year, the first thing that happened was that I got a yeast infection. Then around the time my period was due (I have irregular periods but they were regulating a bit) I started spotting. My period has always been unpredictable so I just figured it was a light period of spotting. The bizare thing though was that it didn't go away. I kept bleeding for like 3 weeks straight. At the same time i had the period cramps and i felt nausea, diarrhea and so much more stomach issues. I figured that I probably had some sort of infection. My husband randomly suggested for me to take a pregnancy test. So I figured Id do it to rule it out.

I took the test and indeed I was pregnant. I was so excited too because we had just closed on a house and I had officially gotten hired as a teacher that same day.

Needless to say I felt incredibly blessed. But the whole bleeding thing for 3 weeks was still not making sense to me, so i decided to google it. Everything seemed to check out with an ectopic pregnancy so that scared me. I went to the doctor where they did not want to see me until like 2 weeks from then, but i pretty much bullied them into letting me see the doctor because of my bleeding.

I finally got to see the doctor, and he was a huge jerk, if I'm emotionally stable in a couple of months I'll explain that whole situation, but indeed I had an ectopic pregnancy, and since i was already 8 weeks, they had to do the surgery and remove my tube. I was so devastated.

October/November/December were my lowest moment of 2021.

After that did not know if I was just gonna give up on the idea of continuing to try to get pregnant. If I wanted to go through something as traumatic as that again.

But on February (last month) my husband and i decided to start trying again.

Well, 2 weeks ago I got another yeast infection. So obviously pregnancy crossed my mind but i didnt think anything of it.

But last week i finally decided to buy the treatment for it, but i read that i shouldn't use if i was pregnant. So i decided to just check. And indeed I was pregnant.

I am barely 5 weeks, but hopefully I dont go through the heartbreak again.

November 22, 2019 --2pm

Today I will start progesterone for my ovulation. I did the BD last night and today i feel a bit of cramping, so i figured i was ovulating.....but nope. Just took an ovulation test and it was negative.

Today and tomorrow will be difficult to BD, but I will try my hardest if I’m going through these hormonal meds. 

So i wasnt sure if to consider today day 4 or 2....but lets go with 4 since thats how i’m taking the medication.

on days one and two, it was dark blood...so perhaps old blood. Thankfully yesterday and today i finally saw red blood. 

Okay, so I finished the 10 days of progesterone to trigger my period, and on the very next day i had a bit of brown discharge.

Now, I faintly remember the nurse telling me to take my Letrozole pills at the first sign of period, even if it was a little bit. So while hesitating, I took the first dose. I didn’t know whether to consider it my period...but i did it anyway. But obviously I feel like I just ruined my chances for this month. :( I’m trying not to stress too much about it but its so difficult. This journey is difficult. 

Today I’m counting as day 2, and i still have the dark discharge, its a bit more though. Still not red but very dark....maybe maroon/black...idk how to describe it. I hate my reproductive system :(

I feel so depressed because of this, idk if its the medication, if its just me, or the journey. 

I was talking to my cousin about it, and she started crying. She’s currently pregnant, but having the worst symptoms ever. She was like “You want to be pregnant so bad, but i’m here miserable”. I felt really bad for her.

Today I take my last pill, so hopefully i get my period this upcoming week (its been missing for 9 months). 

And like always, i guess, its just my luck isn’t it. When ever I’m back in the ttc journey, someone close to me always get pregnant. Currently my bestfriend/cousin is pregnant, and although obviously i’m slightly jealous, I’m genuinely happy for her. On the other hand, my sister in law just announced that she’s pregnant with her second child, and yeah, with that i just feel like it isn’t fair. I’m just plain annoyed. I dont want to be this way, but thats literally just how i feel. 

And unfortunately I’m still in the same spot. Trying to conceive. Its been 5 years since my miscarriage. 

I had kind of just let it go for a year, although, we all know we never really let it go. But actually it was extra difficult ttc because for some weird reason my period decided to stop all together.

I have always had an irregular period, but it was irregular in the sense that i would have it every other month, or if didnt get it at all I would at least spot every two weeks....But since February, I stopped bleeding ALL together. It is now November. So I haven’t had my period for 9 MONTHS, and i was clearly not pregnant, because there’s not baby in sight. 

I finally had the courage to go to my general doctor last month and she recommended me to a different gynecologist. I had a pap smear done and blood work. I got a call from the nurse telling me everything was fine with me....so i’m lowkey still in the dark.  

I was prescribed: 

progesterone to take for 10 days so it can trigger my period, 

then letrozole to use when i get my period. Take 1 on day 1, 2 on day 2, 3 on day 3 and 4 on day 4, 

then progesterone again for days 14 to 24. :0

I dont know if anyone else have been prescribed this method.??? 

I’m currently on pill number 7. No signs of AF yet, but I read that it might take a week for it to arrive. So far, side effects that i’ve felt are dizziness and sleepiness. Which is probably why they prescribed it for night. I’ve also been extra emotional. I mean I’m already an emotional af person, but this just made it 100x worse.