👽 @presidented - Tumblr Blog

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omghotmemes

This is the picture Amazon sent my BIL to say the packages were “delivered to a family member directly”

ormundshightower

TWILIGHT (2008) THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY | “Öga for Öga” (2020)

friendscallmebatty

Malcolm In The Middle (2000-2006)

wonderlandweird

Good Omens (2019)

watersho3s-deactivated20240606

c3rvida3

I’m going to save up for a new motorcycle by running a scam where I bet straight dudes at bars twenty bucks that I can get a girl’s number in under five minutes and then politely walk up her and say, “I just bet that asshole twenty bucks that I could get your number. I’ll split it with you if you pretend to laugh like I just said a good pick up line and then write a fake number on my hand.”

Like, I never understood those kind of bets in those shitty teen movies. Everybody loves being part of a scheme, man. Use your head.

drivablecar

If anyone ever does this to me I’ll call them out on being a con artist.

c3rvida3

Joke’s on you, buddy. That’ll only have consequences the first, what, couple dozen times? I can take a punch.

But then eventually, I’ll have money for the bike, and whenever I get called out, I’ll just speed off, and, sure, maybe I crash and die in a gutter and the police can’t figure out why I have hundreds of fake phone numbers stuffed in my jacket and it launches a huge investigation that becomes sort of a local legend, but you know whose problem that is? Not fucking mine.

Because I’m a slutty motorcycle ghost, and who’s gonna’ stop me then? The ghost cops? Nice try. Everybody knows cops can’t become ghosts because they just go straight to hell. It’s basic math.

drivablecar

Moral of the story, don’t be a con artist or you will die in a horrible accident and become a lonely ghost.

c3rvida3

First of all, don’t you ever accuse me of having morals, narrative or otherwise, ever again.

And second, where did I say I’d be lonely? I’d be a ghost on a motorcycle. That’s the sexiest thing that there is. You look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn’t bone Ghostrider. Look me in the goddamn eyes.

ghostsandgoblins

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jakemorph

fuck a “formerly gifted child” i literally never stopped… if you put me in a primary school classroom i would still to this day be incredibly smart for a 12 year old

squeakitties

new mixed drink! i call it The Sludge

squeakitties

ok so i couldnt find grape fruit barrels or mint tums but i found…. alternatives

oh yeah

we’re doing it

squeakitties

awesome its fear!

squeakitties

IDK WHAT I WAS EXPECTING

occidentalavian

animalwoonz

nose job turkey

cryptidsyrup-deactivated2021011

an addition…

-maximus

ghostcat3000

WHO IS ENTERING MY HOME AND STEALING MY SOUL???

luobingmeis

i’m so used to video games autosaving right before something is abt to kick ur ass that whenever animal crossing new horizons autosaves i instinctively think “oh god oh fuck what’s coming” and then my mint squirrel villager walks by with a basket of apples

chillxpanic

Art by Alena Aenami on Artstation.

Music: BLANKS - HIGHER

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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bitchycode

tennant

Christopher Eccleston + flowers (✿◠‿◠)

fuckyeahchinesefashion

how to paint peony in chinese painting

sirfrogsworth

Sometimes you just need to stand on a rock and howl.

shesnake

The Princess Diaries (2001) dir. Garry Marshall

mariacallous

•18+ Adults Only

Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming