my heart scares you but a gun doesn't?

We push away what we can never understand, We push away the unimaginable.

There are moments that the words don’t reach There’s a suffering too terrible to name You hold your child as tight as you can And push away the unimaginable

☽

I was sufficiently made sad/inspired enough by S3 John & Helen to start a new gif series with Hamilton’s “It’s Quiet Uptown” and my poor sad babies. I guess I accidentally started backwards by making the last stanza first (it was originally going to be a standalone piece) but it’ll be chronological from now! Prepare your souls for …

the thing is, if you just do stuff and nothing happens, what’s it all mean? 

and i’m sorry, but that doesn’t make you a bad person. it makes you a human being. 

it’s like what they say: man plans and god laughs.

hang tough. you’re in the home stretch.  

that’s right. now say my name.

kicking the hell out of yourself doesn’t give meaning to anything. 

but i want you to know that you can be open with me. don’t hold anything back, okay?

someone has to protect this family from the man who protects this family.

i got people who depend on me. 

it’s all about accepting who you really are.

you did the only thing you could. i hope you understand that.

there’s blood on my hands, too.

it may be awhile before i get home. i love you.

right from the start, it’s a death sentence.

nice try, asshole.

so from here on out, this can go hard or easy. so what’s it gonna be?

remembering you that way wouldn’t be so bad.   

we love you, and this is your house as much as it is ours.

is this a good or bad thing?

i don’t sleep at night anymore. i freeze, i freeze up. my chest gets all tight, i can’t breathe. just…i panic.

i’ll be asking myself that for the rest of my life.

you know, it gets easier. i promise you that it does.

what the hell is wrong with you? i’m really asking.  

you don’t give a shit about me. 

i deserve whatever happens.

just a couple of days ago, you told me that a man held a gun to your head.

you know, i really think that would be good for you.     

you’re on thin ice, you little shithead.

tell me one more time to calm down! come on!

if that’s true – if you don’t know who i am – then maybe your best course would be to tread lightly.  

i have nothing. no one. alright? it’s all gone.

if i had to put it in a word, i’d guess loyalty.

you need me to write it down for you?

the past is the past. nothing can change what we’ve done.   

just admit it. admit what you did. 

and a man, a man provides. and he does it even when he’s not appreciated or respected or even loved. he simply bears up and he does it. because he’s a man.

you know what i think? i think you accidentally told the truth.

shut the fuck up and let me die in peace.   

you kill me, you have nothing.

hell of a last couple of weeks. makes a man wonder exactly where he stands.

but until then, who’s in charge? me. that’s how i live my life.

i need you to help prevent an all-out war.   

just drop the whole concerned dad thing and tell me the truth.

you are tying up loose ends, and i don’t want to be one of them.

                                    A  WOMAN  WITH  A  SINGULAR  MIND