And if i eat your heart, i'll also bite your soul

these things just get more and more NSFW as time goes on

I might be dead. Who knows?

or should I say… MUTTiny?

Is there a term for female mpreg?

I’m gonna fuck a portugese man-o-war merman and die having fun AND quickly

Get that fishy dick

Honk Daddy’s horn harder

Sometimes I forget that Happy Feet is basically one big religious allegory filled penguin movie

Mmmm roasted Daddy

Father is hopefully dead

Pears sell like hell

Can you be discriminating towards one boob? Because like my right boob is very comforting to hold when panic attacks hit. The left one is just a bitch.

The ghosts be HAUNTING THIS UTERUS

A puppy is a dog.

Your soul sounds weird

This is why Scottish high schools are basically fighting arenas

I got stoned and cried over a beach boys song last night

Freshly squelched

Daddy died riding the bull

ABORT THE PENIS

How bootylicious my dog is

I’m not naughty, just Muslim

I wish I had eyebrows

Maybe I AM drunk did you think i0bout fhst no ididnt thkk sp

I’m on that Catholic Guild

Speaking of attraction in general… Hot Campus Boy is hot as always

Men like to be objectified

Ah yes, bleaching my undies again

Who says he cooks what he fucks?

I’m not a normal death- I’m a cool death

Gah I want to play with dead people but I’m knee deep in studying and I CAN’T

We’ve all eaten off the floor once

All I’m seeing is sex face and ass blasting

Vegetable having an identity crisis

I loved that part of puberty, where I animophed into a T-Rex

But at least we will all die together

I might’ve come out of her vagina 8 years prior, but in that moment, I was born

THOSE HORRIBLE AY-SEX-SHU-ALLS ARE AT IT AGAIN

Just like we all gay

“And what are you the god of? Bad tastes?”

“You’re not my god.” 

“It’s been a long time since anyone invoked my name.” 

“I’m a god, not a genie. I do not ‘grant’ wishes.” 

“You haven’t an inkling of an idea of what you’ve just done, haven’t you?” 

“And what is a mere mortal to a god?” 

“A god is only as powerful as their believers.”

“When’s the last time anyone prayed to you?” 

“Don’t be stupid. Gods don’t exist.” 

“Your petty discourse is highly amusing.” 

“What a cute little shrine! I wonder who’s it to?” 

“Your title may have “Evil” in it but you just look sad.” 

“No one’s ever built me a shrine before…” 

“You mustn’t be a very good god then.” 

“Your mortal woes are beneath me.” 

“You dare speak to me in such a tone?” 

“Be careful of what you wish for.” 

“You don’t know the meaning of “God-King”. 

“You know not of who you speak to, do you?” 

“You don’t look very… godly… to me.” 

“’A god’? Don’t be so full of yourself.” 

“What are you the god of?” 

“Does it get lonely?” 

“Oh god, please don’t hurt me!” 

“Your god has no sway here.”

“And what brings you into my domain, little one?” 

“I think I just woke something up. Something powerful.” 

“Um… hello? Any… anyone listening?” 

“This is stupid. Of course no god will listen to me.” 

“You probably look nothing like your statue.” 

“I hope this shrine is worthy enough for you…” 

“I’m here as a sacrifice, as promised by my people.” 

“Woah, when did you get that?”

“Who did this to you?”

“How many time have I told you to be more careful?”

“You’re saying this was an accident?”

“What a shiner!”

“If you look like this, I’d hate to see the other guy.”

“I’m not buying it, you don’t walk into a door and get a bruise like that!”

“Does it hurt when I touch it?”

“Let me kiss it better.”

“If you don’t rest, you won’t heal.”

“Another fight?”

“What happened to your face?”

“I don’t think your arm is meant to bend like that…”

“Let’s get you to bed.”

“Let’s get you to the hospital.”

“Why are you so calm about this?”

“You’re bleeding!”

“What are friends for, ey?”

“So, instead of helping you, they ran off the moment they saw what was happening?”

“You need to look where you’re going.”

“I’m not accusing anyone, I’m just saying it looks suspicious.”

“Do you want to tell me what really happened?”

“Don’t move! You’ll faint!”

“I’ve got some bandages, wait a sec.”

“You’re the clumsiest person I know.”

“I won’t let you be on your own, not when you’re like this.”

“How could you be so careless?”

“I can’t even look at you, you promised not to get into any more fights!”